Help With A Venus-Pluto Lust Haze

Hi Mystic!

I always find things on your site (your posts, the Oracle, or daily horoscopes) that are completely relevant to whatever is happening in my life at the time. This is why I’ve been a loyal subscriber for so many years now! But I’m also old and wise enough to recognize when I’m hurtling down an astrologically-influenced rabbit hole and on the verge of possibly doing something stupid.

So I’ve been reading about this Venus-Pluto opposition in your Daily Mystic missives and my daily horoscopes. All keep talking about “a stealth sensuality/steady growth of an attraction or affinity with Venus-Pluto.” Oh, and I’m a Gemini, Moon in Virgo, Aqua ascendant.

This is all coinciding with a sudden intensification of a work flirtation I’m having with a Scorpio – it’s a little scary how on-point the timing of it all is with the Venus-Pluto stuff. I’m newish at the job where I met him….as always when I meet Scorpios of the male persuasion, there was an instant “something” between us.

He’s got some weird ascetic diet thing and is ex-military, so he swans around the office is tight clothes (though it’s basically the same uniform everyday), all bulging muscles and a bag of protein powder that he seems to utilize in place of meals. Hardcore self-discipline…so naturally that was the first thing I started teasing him about.That, and the fact that he completely didn’t remember meeting me, and reintroduced himself to me the very next day. When I said “yeah, we met yesterday” he acted embarrassed and proceeded to avoid me/act awkward for weeks afterwards.

Then I ended up seated across from him at a company social event and laughingly called him out on all of this. It broke the ice in a big way…and after that I was added to his rotation of desks he would stop by to have a chat. With each conversation, we seemed to discover random things we had in common or interests. An affinity for speaking Spanish, for instance. Then, just this week, he asked me to go for coffee with him. Solo. I was surprised and also quite pleased as I had firmly moved into “harmless work crush territory with him.

You see, I have a history of indulging in the (mostly) harmless work crush. It keeps my restless mind occupied and I feel happier about going into the office everyday, especially when my day-to-day tasks bore me (as they do now). So, win-win, right? As a Gemini, I am absolutely fine with keeping crushes in the realm of fantasy because I know that what plays out in my head is much better than any messy reality would be. Especially because neither of us are available! I, at least, am very much unavailable. Although not married, I have a baby with my Libra soulmate and although our relationship has been troubled lately, we are also very much committed to working on it and it’s getting better and better.

Still…probably also explains why I’m vulnerable at this moment to crushes. Grass is greener, and all that.
But, something feels very heightened about all this. When the Scorpio asked me to coffee, I dropped a tidbit of info about myself that seemed to rivet his attention right quick. To the point where we walked past our office building so we could keep talking about it. Now I find myself wondering when and how our next conversation will happen. I am keenly aware of his physical presence in the office (it’s a small one).

I always know when he’s nearby and I get all the same vibes from him. I know he’s dating around, but don’t know how involved he is. My babydaddy and I have talked rather seriously before about the logic of being in a somewhat “open” relationship so I am telling myself it might even be ok were this to get a little physical. And now that’s all I can think about. 8th house of sex and all that.

So….my question is…am I being a total Love Zombie? I recognize the perfect storm that could result from fixating on a work crush (even one with a legitimate and rather smouldering two-way attraction) as a way to distract myself from being unhappy with my job (I work for a control freak Capp from hell who is currently under investigation with HR), and the issues I’m having at home.

Do I fight like hell to get ahold of my maybe-not-so-harmless-or-whimsical Gemini fantasy life? Or do I let myself enjoy the “stealth sensuality” of it all and get to know this Scorp better? Or run like hell in the other direction?

When is it actually OK to just go with where a transit is leading you?

Not Sure I can Think My Way Out of This One,
Gemini (Lightning Butterfly)

Hi Gemini Lightning Butterfly,

Ah yes – The (mostly harmless) Work Crush. Many an otherwise tedious office or job environment has been thus enlivened. But this sounds a bit beyond the usual W.C.  So no doubt the situation with you and Military Scorpio IS heightened or charged with some sort of extra-to-work chemistry.

BUT has it occurred to you that Saturn in your opposite sign of Sagittarius is a bit of a player here, if not the protagonist?   That the responsibilities of working ‘under’ a Control Freak Capricorn, caring for a new baby AND a relationship that – soulmate or not – you are having to also ‘work on’ could be onerous? So it would be absolutely understandable for your mind to be straying in the zone of something that feels enticing, flattering and – yes – actual fun.

And yes, a massive proportion of people DO meet via their work while others do fall in love while still in an existing relationship.  However – and this is the cold shower sector of the Lecture Rant – think this through.

As one Aquarius Rising to another, do you really want to clutter up your life with a second relationship?  Regardless of whether or not you are in an open relationship, you can’t really have a casual fling with someone you work with. Or, arguably, with Military Scorpio.

Transits don’t lead you anywhere, although anything with Pluto involved can certainly feel compelling.  You lead yourself. Transits arouse energies and dimensions within yourself – if they are an aspect of yourself that you have neglected or which needs to come alive at this point, a person does often walk in to your life who reminds you of that.

But really, has it occurred to you that quite apart from his muscles and intriguing persona, Military Scorpio is really just a chimera for you to fall back into love with your self?

This may be too much Mercury in Aries frankness but I think an affair with Military Scorpio whom you also work with and a baby at home IS too much to handle. It would be setting yourself up for s**t on multiple fronts if even one factor of this were to go awry. And my god, your Control Freak Capricorn boss would probably relish the opportunity to divert H.R. attention to you, right?

Yes to ‘stealth sensuality’ or recreational fantasizing – no to getting to know Scorpio better or going down any rabbit holes. Also, are open relationships that work really well with raising a young child really a thing? Thoughts from everyone totally welcome.  Am I being too harsh? And wow, what was the “tidbit of info” you dropped to the Military Scorpio that riveted his attention?

Thoughts?

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LightningButterfly

I guess I’m writing to myself now. But, this is still heavily on my mind, so leaving this here in case anyone finds it and wants to comment. Flash forward 3 months after I last wrote about this: I got a way better gig with a lot more freedom of schedule and working for nice people. The DAY after I quit, evil toxic boss got FIRED! Though we were asked to keep quiet about it, I rushed to tell my Scorpio. Riding down in the elevator with him (where let’s face it, I had often fantasized about being stuck in… Read more »

fishgirl

Hey Lightning Butterfly, thanks for sharing your story – can totally relate.

In terms of a harmless work crush, i say live it up. Whatever gets you through the night (or the boring job/bad boss madness). I hate jobs when i can find no-one to have a crush on, they just add a bit of zing to the everyday! Doesn’t mean anything has to come from it.

LightningButterfly

Thanks, this is how I feel about it too! And the intensity has passed….just enough zing there to lighten the bad work vibes a bit. 4 days off work and today I had a hard time remembering what he looked like!

emg

Obviously was a transit crush !!

LightningButterfly

Yes. I am feeling more resolved about my exit plan and meanwhile me and Scorp are just becoming more chummy….but without the sexy vibe because I’m not putting anymore energy into it. So glad this one passed quickly. I meant, I’ll still flirt, it just doesn’t feel so charged anymore. Phew!

marsbar

This is just a general comment but i often see in many workplaces, those with air signs prominent in their chart often take up a “work spouse”, which is different than an affair as frq no sex is involved necessarily. Just someone of the appropriate sex that gives them that sort of husband/wife energy and cheerful banter at work. They go home to diff spouses and are often times even friends with the other one’s spouse. I seea lot of Libras and Gems who like this arrangement. I have to say it works fairly well when everything clicks, but under… Read more »

Saggi Crab

Yah, I was thinking a similar thing. I had a situation like this a few workplaces ago and it was quite awesome actually. I think there were sparks there potentially to begin with, but both of us were coupled up. Then it turned into a really great, close platonic relationship that was very open and easy. I miss that relationship, actually! It’s not the same once you move on from the workplace, as it’s the everyday mundanity that creates that ease and intimacy. In my own experience in the past, I have found a crush often develops when meeting someone… Read more »

LightningButterfly

Oh yes….I always have a work spouse I spose.

Annabelle

Ooohhh what a situation! I think MM mentioning that Saturn is opposite your sun, DUDE this is all Saturn lessons. Working through relationship with said soulmate, dealing with ‘common’ work place crush scenario – although this does sound intense and WITH A BABY! And crazy cap boss. I feel for you!!! I honestly think that communication is whats needed here. Maybe its best to chat with libra soul mate about the actual status of the relationship and if he/she would be be ok with an open relationship officially. It’s one thing to say it in passing its another to actually… Read more »

LightningButterfly

Yes, yes, yes. All solid advice, thx! After ruminating on it all weekend (not to mention dreading the next mtg with my boss)….I’ve realized I need to quit as soon as it’s safe to do so…meaning, I have something else lined up. I always knew it wasn’t a long-term situation and planned to give it a year but it’s so unbearable that even the things that were keeping me going (loving my team, work crush, annual bonus) are no longer enough because I have keep coming back to this situation over and over again…trying to make a turgid work scenario… Read more »

Ariel

As everyone else has said, DO NOT GO THERE. The obsessive analysis tells me that you’re bored as fuq, & as a smart & underemployed Gemini, I relate. I ‘opened’ my relationship to have a shortlived and destructive karmic fling with a depressed narcissist last year. on the meantime, my stable Taurus fell in love with someone else. They both dumped me & I’m stuck with acne at the end of my first second Saturn return. Sure, I shouldn’t be with either of these men, but it’s been a harsh way to learn self-reliance. It actually takes a very strong… Read more »

Ariel

You might be interested to know I have a natal Venus-Pluto opposition & a Venus Neptune trine… and they’re the two tightest aspects in my chart. So all of my crushes & love affairs feel the way you’re feeling… ethereal longing haze + power issues.

LightningButterfly

Wow, thats crazy and doesn’t sound like something that would be fun all the time. I have natal Moon-Pluto conjunction in Virgo….don’t know if that means anything for my relationships, but it does have a strong spiritual connotation, right?

Ariel

Moon-Pluto… No wonder you were pondering sexy times with Military Scorpio! I’d have to see your whole chart for sure, but I guess karmic or spiritual attachments & themes of service and duty vs personal power might crop up for you. Hang in there, Gem friend 🙂

marsbar

wow Moon-Pluto! Ditto what Ariel said, but also describes your mom (moon) and you as well. It is possible your mom was prob intense (plutonic) person or married to such a person. It’s like having a Scorpio Moon.

MissDee

wow Lightning, I have Pluto in virgo too!

LightningButterfly

Nice! Like Moon in scorpio…well, that explains a lot. 🙂 interesting about my mom…she’s Aquarius so it’s a different type of intensity. A very difficult person to get along with…

Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot

I’d say what matters most is the strenth of your relationship with the Libra.

What does “work on” mean? Are we talking screaming matches or deep trust issues?

I’d say seriously appraise the strength of your partnership with the libran.

If they are a true soulmate then why look to the Scorp? Give yourself time.

The scorp could be a total wanker, don’t worry about him, he’ll always be there and if he’s THE ONE should be willing to wait an eternity for you to figure out where your head is at.

LightningButterfly

Because the relationship has turned into so much work. We have similar dysfunctional family backgrounds and trigger each other in certain ways. So, plenty of painful soulmate type growth….shaking up the very core foundation of ourselves. We’re in therapy right now and have been before.

Ssylka

Anyone who cannot remember that he met you the day before and who as you say swans around the office is I’d wager to put in a ‘Australian’, a complete wanker. Military Scorpio ++ The two-way thing is a trick. His.

LightningButterfly

What do you mean, 2-way thing?

Tauroscorp

Ha. I’ll bet protein powder man is on display wherever he goes.
Protect what’s yours.
Ovid has some advice for falling out of love, if you have the time to read :).

fishgirl

Oh, Tauroscorp, where is this Ovid advice you write of…?

PlutoMoon

This sounds like Neptune stationing retro haze instead of (or at least in addition to) Pluto-Venus fog to me. The Pluto vampire has seen in you a target, a victim – prey – and you are looking for validation and entertainment. Trust that his brand of entertainment won’t be so much fun. My sense is he is circling you like a shark. You feel flattered by his attentiveness and wanting to dig deeper into your psyche – the big topic you talked extra about – but that is a typical move of a malignant narcissist, and of a predatory (not… Read more »

MissDee

Oh yeah I feel the Neptune retro haze too in this post.

LightningButterfly

Haha! “not the droid you’re looking for”….I like that. Yes, an overly controlled person doesn’t jibe well with me, but could be pretty hot in the sack, no?
And DON”T WORRY, not planning to go there with him, especially now. 🙂

Ariel

Bang on to all of this.

emg

Hang on you’re a Gemini Aqua if anyone can step in step out It’s you !!! Sounds to me like the scorp is not a keeper as such but my advise is to really enjoy it and his company. Lighten up and take it for what it is. You can decide at the end of the day where it goes and if it goes ‘physical’ then accept that’s what you want need desire right at this moment. Then go from there. Every day is a step into tomorrow and greater personal knowledge. Enjoy it !!!!

MissDee

I’d agree with you if she didn’t have a “open relationship + kid going on”.
Hell I’d agree even if she had an “open relationship” going on.
But with a not so stable family already in play, a military scorpio that has “narcissistic fuq” written all over him – or at the very least self centered control freak – I’d advice to drop it off immediately.

emg

Ah yes but this is Pluto digging into her depths about what’s turning her on and right now a me me me Scorpio is doing it. So if she gets to grips with the driving force here she may not enter the arena for real but she must be given the chance to experience what it is for her without kid or partner to consider. Pluto isn’t about their stuff, this is hers to explore. Once an a ha moment is realised it lets things move on.

MissDee

My super personal opinion is that once a kid is in a picture, you do not get to “experience what it is for you without kid or partner to consider.”
I mean without the partner possibly yes, but the kid cannot be ruled out ever.
You don’t get to experiment anymore, because the consequences might reach the kid and he/she has to be preserved, at all costs.

LightningButterfly

This is beautiful, thanks. And thx for sharing your story too! Sorry it was such a hard road but I hope you st least got to live out a good love story.

emg

Even as a mother I still consider that you as an individual must exist first. Put your own air supply on first before helping anyone else. The best mothers are those who truly know and appreciate themselves and can then allow the little individual in their life to blossom.

Sam

I have to agree with this from the perspective of someone whose mother denied herself every happiness or at least submitted to some shitty version of ‘necessity’ to ‘just get through’ whatever her perception of the family needs were. Result 20-30 years later, someone who is still bowed under the weight of whatever she things her duties are. South node in Capricorn. Honestly fuq that. Decided it’s not my karma

Sam

I get that family life brings its own exigencies btw, I’m not a complete fool, and kids to a certain age are fragile, I think this triggered my frustration at not seeing her just bust out and stop freaking suffering under some delusion – we suffered hardship anyway – why not suffer hardship while also experiencing some fulfilment in other ways

Sam

(This is more about me than lightning butterfly I think 🙂 )

LightningButterfly

All Musticposts usually spark some sort of self-realization, so go for it. 🙂

milleunanotte

God that’s so understanding and light about it all. Thnx xx

LightningButterfly

MissDee, I knew there’d be at least one of you in here…your comments are pretty OTT judgmental especially since I made it clear I am indulding in a fantasy here. Chances of me acting on any of this are very slim…esp. now that the initial intensity has passed. As a fellow Gem, I’d expect you to understand a bit better. And yes, I’ve also had work flirtations that turned into actual long-term relationships and it could be messy at times. Also, not sure where you get “narcissistic fuq” from my description. Sure, he’s into physical fitness but he’s actually quite… Read more »

MissDee

Hi Lightning. I am not judging. I am in no position for judging anyone for a work place flirt. I was expressing my concern because I had very negative experiences and I inappropriately used the word “narcissistic fuq” because I was biased by my personal experience. I have returned to this post because I wanted to say that we are all seeing this post through our own personal “glasses” so here I will say it to you. By reading .your post I re-lived my experience and the fear of meeting that kind of a person again. It had nothing to… Read more »

LightningButterfly

No worries, thanks for saying that. I jus tipster something about how these Ask Mystic posts always seem to spark personal reactions. It’s all good!

emg

It is good, you’re right butterfly.
Any chance to examine our feelings, triggers and even rage is useful. If a touch icky sometimes. Best of luck with your flirtatious filaments of fantasy.

TripleL

We all bring personal experiences & history to bear when responding to advice inquiries … it is part of the human condition.
Perhaps is would be fruitful to read thru comments with a completely open mind & heart, understanding that we here, want was is best for all involved, but are also protective of what believe are good souls.
I’ve learned that when unsure about a treading a particular path, that sleep, time, meditation, nature walks, aromatherapy baths — and some serious alone time, listening to the mind/heart/gut continuum — the right answer surfaces.
Bonne chance, my dear. xx

marsbar

Going to echo sentiments of most of the above. My exp is also dont sleep with co-workers, if it goes bad, the woman is almost always the “punished” party that will be forced to go regardless of who is at fault. Plus, the scorpio will make sure it is you. Fantasy is better than reality in this case. When i get too obsessed with work crush, i try to deflate it by looking up enough info that will kill the vibe.

LightningButterfly

Haha….I like this. Only problem he is so secretive and doesn’t exist on social media, plus has a far murky common name. Haven’t come up with anything new….lol.

marsbar

if he got hired to your company in this day and age, he has a trail. ;p just sayin’…

MissDee

Wowza. Talk about “throw back post”. Gemini here as well and yes I had my fair share of work flirts that turned into relationship and then didn’t end up well. But in your case – and this is my Moon in Taurus – please don’t. @ursula said it better but here’s my experience: when the 2 worlds start mixing thing become very hard to handle. When you are crazy in love you can’t focus on work and this would make you face the “wrath of the Cappy boss”. When you argue you cannot take a break because, well, he’d be… Read more »

Libra9

Oh God. Just don’t. Please. If your job is so unbearable because of anyone else, leave. Military Scorpio doesn’t care about you or anyone else. Military Scorpio is a trained killer and is antsy in an office and looking for excitement. This has less to do with planets or transits than it has to do with ego. I spent two hours (and $$$) today with a lawyer trying to sort out major stuff from a 28-year relationship that ended five years ago. There are two teenagers and me, damaged, distraught, defensive, sometimes defeated, but determined. We’ll be fine, but when… Read more »

MissDee

I am standing up on my work chair applauding you Libra9. This comment ROCKS.

Libra9

Thank you MissDee. It has been a huge step forward for me. I have two of the most awesome children/young adults in the world and have learned from the esteemed MM to trust the Universe and my instinct. Mystic rocks

Aquasunrise

Not endorsing but do relate currently – how to circumvent one’s wandering mind from the possibility of what if it is the most spiritually heavenly and earth moving meeting of soul-bodies of all time??? In irony it also feels ruthless and conservative as I’m inspired to change from this too…regardless of the outcome this is probably the deal breaker… Could you imagine being independent anyway it evolved? Would you be secure in yourself, embrace creativity without partnership. I suspect I might be better alone now, and this might be one way to actually experience freedom in a manner I have… Read more »

LightningButterfly

A couple things: my job 80% supports my family, so no, I can’t just “leave if it’s so unbearable.” What I can do is focus on my exit plan, which I am. Original plan was to only be in the job a year, collect my annual bonus, and bounce. And that’s so I can move my family out of the city we’re in…we don’t like it. Sucks azz that the only thing that puts this plan on shaky ground is my terrible boss. Otherwise, I’d still be a little bored but at least i’d be content. Secondly, I gave loose… Read more »

Libra9

Best wishes. Keep your head down and make that exit plan happen

saturnplutoflux

When is this venus -pluto lust fog supposed to lift?

MissDee

To my knowledge it already has. But I am no .
Venus is at 24° Taurus and soon to be moving to Gemini and Pluto is at 18°Cap where he’ll be sitting for quite some time.
So my guess is that the trine is now “resolved”.

Scorpy

It’s not the trines we have to worry about. It’s the squares and oppositions.
In August when Venus moved into Cancer it will oppose Pluto!

Scorpy

*moves

MissDee

Well the square is long time gone and opposition – in my personal experience – can be quite enticing.

Scorpy

Yes, of course that makes sense. I’m just wary of being enticed where Pluto is concerned but it’s hard to avoid sometimes. Pluto can sneak up on you and before you know it you’re up shit creek without a paddle.
Guess I’m really feeling this Mars / Pluto opposition. Feels heavy.

MissDee

Well Pluto is about to oppose (again) my Natal Mars.
This often turns out in me going back to being very active in sports.

saturnplutoflux

ok, maybe this scenario isn’t a venus-pluto thing then… I quite like pluto though, i think its like one of those monster waves – you have to grab your surf board, jump on and really commit to the ride. Otherwise you just get smashed…

Scorpy

Meh. Give me Saturn any day. I can’t ride those waves. I always get smashed…. in matters of the heart anyway. Even short term. Honestly don’t know why I bother sometimes. Oh yeah, I do. Fuqing Venus in Libra. *sigh*

Natal Pluto/Uranus conjunction in 8th house square my moon. I have FIVE squares to my moon alone.

Smurphy101

Bang on Mystic ! Don’t even ! Red Flags – Left – Right – Centre

Hermeswitch

Totes agree with Mystic. This has shit sandwich written all over it.

LightningButterfly

Wow. This was exactly what I needed to hear, Mystic. God, you’re good! 🙂 I will come back and comment more tomorrow (nighttime here and I am typing on my phone), but yes, this is totally about me needing a break from all the work and responsibilities in my life as well as falling back in love with certain parts of myself. Particularly wit and writing. While my job is about writing, there is no creative in it whatsoever. So I am both bored and frustrated with all my low-level tasks….shared that with Cappy boss which didn’t go over too… Read more »

MissDee

This sounds very sensible. 🙂
And still I am dead curious on “the “tidbit of info” you dropped to the Military Scorpio that riveted his attention”. 🙂

LightningButterfly

Haha….I know. I don’t want to be too specific because who knows if any of my coworker’s could find this blog?
It was something around an underground scene I was privy to through someone I dated in the past. One of the “gurus” of this scene has been written about here by Mystic. Scorpio has also delved into this a bit. And no, it’s not weird sex stuff. ?

Carey

You’ve got this. “Military Scorpio is really just a chimera for you to fall back into love with your self? (please forgive the advice from an un-requested corner here but I am in the long and agonizing process of extricating my “now in love with my excavated self” Self from just such a scenario.) I relate completely to the drama play you are in right now, having stepped into that rabbit hole almost 3 years ago. (I was married for 18 with a child of 16 with a married man in same situation) Mine was a natal to natal zap… Read more »

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