How To Scorp

Matthew McConaughey posted this picture on his Instagram last Friday, right after the news that he was ‘in talks’ to star in a Yellowstone ‘franchise extension’

While the Daily Mail called the image a “thirst trap,” it is actually a master-class in major manipulative fuqery from a triple Scorpio.

Study the following factors and you too can Scorp people out in style. Yes, even if you are not an actual Scorpio.

(1) For the last few weeks “rumors have been swirling” that the super-successful television series is to end or that the current lead – cantankerous Capricorn Kevin Costner – is to be replaced because of his “complicated shooting schedule.”

Sure, Kevin has Pluto parked on his Sun right now and while this would be good for rage-method-acting, you can imagine the potential for existential snits over the catering. Anyway, ‘rumor swirling’ is a prerequisite to Scorping.

In McConaughey’s case, his Gemini Rising helps and he would have the budget to hire apprentice magician rumor swirlers.

Naturally you feign zen oblivion or an extreme taste for simplicity should anyone ask you about the swirling rumors.

(2) Drawing straight from the Marcus Aurelius manual, McConaughey ensures that his image is ultra-laconic.

His management reps will be hardcore haggling over the renumeration and probably pushing the deal right to the line – performative walk-outs, shit-eyes across the boardroom table, bringing goons to lunch etc.

The longer that goes on, the more chilled our Scorp will appear. An increasing amount of “insiders” will regale the entertainment media with tales of terrible behaviour from Costner and even his assistant.

Interestingly, Kurt Russell briefly popped up as a contender but seems to have faded out.

It would be well within the Scorping protocols to enthuse over the older Piscean actor, wonder aloud if he may be a little bit ‘mellow’ for the role and have your people gift him a biodynamic Godfather OG seedling, cultivated – you say in your anonymous note from ‘an admirer’ – by Etruscan druids.

Supporting Psy-Ops could include discovering who in the production office is an avid vegan or vegetarian and having someone chat casually to them about how interesting it is that Kurt Russell is actually a keen hunter – his kills, the trophies etc.

It’s almost too easy but then…for the final strike: your casual Friday pic.

(3) When you’re Scorping, you don’t look directly at camera in pix like these – that’s a dead giveaway that you’re staging a photo op. No, you’re doing the opposite of that – absorbed in your landline (!) phone call, feet on the desk etc.

This sends several messages:

(a) That you are hot, obviously but not a preener, louche or a prima-donna.

(b) You’re easy-going, the kind of cool guy who just glides onto the set – no pretensions – doesn’t screech when the wifi goes down or the chlorine filter on the shower didn’t arrive.

(c) Look at the dinky little vitamin bottle – Nature’s Bounty Spirulina or whatever. No bulk creatine deliveries, scary reaction when you mistake the hormone solution for your shots with the fat-dissolving explosive diarrhea off-label thing. Just you and your – apart from the 2 million per episode concept – simple tastes.

The next step, if a deal is not struck by the time Saturn goes into Pisces, would be some more rumor swirling but this time about your potential involvement in a massive, soon-to-be-iconic movie deal – an adaptation of Neal Stephenson’s Cryptonomicon, for example.


Note: Matthew McConaughey has the Sun, Mercury and Neptune in Scorpio. His Mercury is directly opposite Saturn in Taurus and both are square Mars in Aquarius. This is tense aspect that does demand recreational releases like drumming etc but it is also fantastic for strategic acumen.

60 thoughts on “How To Scorp”

      1. Totally. And facing the sad truth of how I give my power away.

        At least I am aware of it. My self respect is returning. Have more of the vibe of “fools rush in where Angels fear to tread”. But thankfully I feel more the Ange. More be.

        I think I will appreciate this Saturn in Pisces.


        1. may I reframe ‘sad truth of how you (perceive that you) give power away’ to,
          ‘a gentle awakening to other ways of working with your personal forces’ ..? or something like that. xo

          1. Thanks Sam. I will take the time to have kinder self talk. I have been told that I am too hard on myself. Thank you for spotting this blind spot.

            XOX 🌟

            1. I hear u. I believe that it is important to talk to ourselves in the way that we would talk to anyone else who we love and want to be kind and encouraging/helpful for.. It’s easier to say than do but I know that it improves with practice 🙂 <3

  1. I am a couple of weeks younger. Add Venus in 🦂 but Mercury at the start of Sag and conjunct 🦂 Sun and Neptune. Currently awaiting for exact last degree of Saturn in Aqua square to Sun, Neptune and Merc, so I am not doing this type of cool. But God forbid if I had to self promote right now, a cryptic photo with old technology for the win. Facing the other way is perfect.

  2. Could someone tell me if Yellow Stone is worth the time spent to watch?
    The Costner was so very attractive back when i had a libido & enjoyed a good fantasy, especially in Bull Durham with Susan Sarandon.
    Did like a good cowboy movie, the horses of course & loved it when Annie got her Gun.

    The movie of Matthew’s that most entices me & could watch time & time again was the futuristic space one (name?) where he went though the wormhole & he ended up in what looked like massive pixilated library ( the akashic records?) where time was everywhere all at once.

    1. Hi Pegs, it’s going to come down to personal taste ultimately but I didnt want to claw back the time I spent.
      The characters are interesting and storyline isnt always predictable. Lovely scenery and shot well and yep, straight up cowboy. Im not really into that genre. Its a bit of a rub at times and I am not into graphic violence and there is enough of that with some of the common power and revenge themes but it works. Its been around for a while so my memory is less fresh with all of it.
      I haven’t seen the last season but likely will and (perhaps this is the selling point?) the Costner character is quite compelling and key to the whole storyline. I wouldnt go out of my way to watch him and am not a non fan but also not a fan. His character is quite key to the show and not sure how this dude will replace…in the show. For me personally it’s identical….not a non fan but not a fan lol. In all likelihood I will see this last season and wrap it up.

      To summarise…probably not a fan in a few areas and I thought it was good.

        1. I would say come back and give us your critical review but I likely wont see it. Hope my recommendation ain’t a fizzer for you x

      1. Hey there ReLee, I dont dislike but I probably wouldnt put myself in the fan camp/s. I might have come across more than I actually feel about it all. Im probably neutral and could get into the right anything with the right storyline regardless of actor. I don’t stream ongoing – just as desired/required then cancel.

  3. OMG THIS POST MYSTIC. Spot on! This is SO my (triple) scorp/gem rising ex, sexy scheming all the time, calculated image & moves with a veneer of “not trying.” I am a triple aqua tho so I usually didn’t even notice there were games afoot–I am too self-centered (I would include an angel emoji here if I could LOL). He always seemed both baffled and relieved by my directness. I think being “found out” felt like life or death to him. But when we were working together, so much magic. Our combined power was a force. Will love him always <3

    ps McConaughey’s wife is an aqua too, it looks like! I will NOT go down a neptunian dream rabbit hole about this lol.

      1. I just looked and the coming Venus/Jupiter conjunction is in my 8th house in an exact square to my Neptune–how did you know LOL!

    1. I admire you for standing up for Mark and Mc. I was also imbued with these qualities as a child. And they hold true.

      So easy to bash them. But when true compassion is caught by the purity and innocence of a child it can never waiver.

  4. I have the identical chart as Matthew but add Venus in Scorpio to it. An attorney,I learned through much angst that my superpower is silence in response to an opponent’s fury. The madder they get, the more relaxed I am. It’s hilarious to me. My response to emails in all caps? Crickets. They get madder. Took a lifetime to get here. Life is just a very complicated Candy Crush game. No reason to fuss.

  5. Have also just realised that the Scorpio “private” is the same as the Capricorn “irrelevant”. Aka it has nothing to do with you or the subject at hand. (n.b. Until it does, lol)

  6. You see straight through us Scorps, Mystic! 😂 Speaking of Scorps, are there any cases of Scorp with Scorp pair couplings? I was just thinking, I don’t think I’ve ever dated or even gotten near a Scorpio male. Just wouldn’t work, I guess. We’d both stay poised on our respective rocks, observing with our stingers ready yet feigning our nonchalance…

    1. Duran Duran singer Simon LeBon and 80s model Yasmin LeBon are an example of an enduring Scoripo x Scorpio couple. They have been together since ca 1984 when Pluto had just made his entrance into Scorpio 🦅

    2. Encountering another Scorpio for me is like two spies noticing each other. There is so much said without being spoken. It can be validating but usually doesn’t last past the moment. I have hung out with drifts of Pisces and Librans or clusters of Sag and Geminis but never a pit of Scorpions.

        1. Wish Upon a Star

          A bunch of Peacocks is called an Ostentation and a bunch of Flamingos a Flamboyance.

          Or is it the other way around ?


  7. It’s funny you posted this. Last week a high-powered Scorp affirmed that I need to Pluto up and that I have all the ability to do it (Moon conjunct Pluto in Libra, trine Jupiter with Pluto Transit Incoming). I’ll take this post as some specific tips!

    1. I can’t imagine it in the context of this shot. More likely surfer beads but from this angle I get the similarity and could riff off this if it wasn’t so early….nup…. nothing witty is downloading.

      1. it does resemble a younger him. Even the phone would take some digging in the props room of ACME Studio or wherever (mind you I have one in a hall cupboard somewhere: legacy of rental living) 🙂

      2. Though— would be an incredible power move to only use a landline and have like an assistant funnel calls thru there, AND to exclusively use yellow pages rather than google — wish my life was thus

        1. Yes! And the yellow pages could be redone to be more like a zine. I want you to know that if I obtain a billion $, I will create an invitation-only landline network, secretly re-activating the old wires and hiring poets to compile the yellow pages.

  8. As a multi-scorp who just spent hours artificially ‘casualising’ their online professional profile, I have a lot of feelings – mostly pride and admiration for a fellow scorp’s solid output. Also taking some inspiration. The denim cutoffs (in line with other dabs of Americana) are a delightful touch.

  9. Speaking of slacker culture (sry, my mind went straight to Fast Times at Ridgemont High and I wondered if it was among the 90s slacker movies aka Saturn in Pisces era. No: ten years earlier. BUT! He has node in late Pisces). I looked up the release date for that movie anyway and compared it to his chart. There are some super cool / hot alignments between the two charts. I can see how it launched his lifelong sex appeal situation, lol.
    In fact we have some ok synastry. Call me McConaughey. Or not. I want to do an experiment

    Holy shit he’s on the threshold of a Pluto mars transit. If he does the Yellowstone thing (or .. anything? Cryptonomicon 🤯) he’s gonna bring some wild energy

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