Venus conjunct Mars synastry* can be addictive, as this Mega Mystic member’s dilemma illustrates.
Do you ever notice yourself caught in attracting the same astro signatures in your love interests and/or relationships? For instance, I have a penchant for being attracted to Mars-Venus men.
My first boyfriend had Mars in Libra, not quite Mars-Venus in aspect but after all, Venus rules Libra. His Mars was conjunct my Venus. He was pathological and literally mentally ill but I still fell for him. Our relationship was a dreamy lie. My second boyfriend, another long term relationship, had Mars opposite Venus. His Mars in Gemini was trine my Venus, and yes it’s true what they say about Mars-Venus synastry. The sexual chemistry!
So much sex and goo-goo eyes over him. It took more than three years for my brain to wake up after being scrambled by the endorphins. He was a “Puer” aka self-obsessed man-child. A Sagittarius who ghosted any responsibility for his actions.
Our Relationship Was A Dreamy Lie
Enter my current relationship and predicament. This one has no Mars-Venus going on in his chart but Mars square Saturn. Saturn has caused my man much pain, frustration, and disappointment to him sexually. It’s been bitter in the bedroom. It’s difficult being the partner to a cold wall when you are an easy breezy Air Venus who loves her sensual pleasures.
We are such a harmonious match on all other levels. I feel I can be completely myself and comfortable in the relationship, something I haven’t felt before. Our Moons are *exactly* conjunct.
Due to the sex difficulties, I have found myself lured by two other men over the time we have been together. And what do you know? Both Venus-Mars men, this time with both men having conjunctions of these planets in their chart.
Mating in Captivity Is Unarousing
I was compulsively drawn to the first, though he was a personality I would usually shun as he is a dick. Sure enough when I lurked on his astrology to figure out what was wrong with me for being lured by such a chauvinistic arse, there it was. Venus conjunct Mars synastry strikes again.
So am I only capable of being attracted to Mars-Venus men? My Moon is happy with my current relationship but Venus begs for attention and adoration. She does not want the Mars-Saturn man. She wants hot chemistry!
Maybe I am not owning my own Venus and Mars energy enough and am seeking it from another? What is it about Mars-Venus men anyway? Perhaps if I know what the appeal is I will break its spell on me!
A Mars-Venus Lover
Mars-Venus Synastry = Repeat Hook-Ups
Dear Mars-Venus Lover,
Yes, we ALL have runs of the same sign, archetypes or astro-signatures. I call it Astral Repetition Mating Syndrome. But your situation does not seem quite like that. It is a version of the Madonna-Whore complex.
If you feel emotionally ‘safe’ with someone or as if you could build a healthy/cool set-up together on whatever terms work for each of you, you’re not aroused by them. You’re physically drawn to people who are less “safe.”
This is, of course, the territory of psychotherapists, Beat poets, Cosmopolitan magazine’s Stud or Dud type articles, books like Mating In Captivity and astrology.
Addicted To Vibe
My thoughts are that you have answered your own question. The Mars-Venus vibe you’re being drawn to is IN you – they’re just reflecting it back at you. If you are post-Saturn Return, you will know that often the people who have very little to offer in the realm of quality relationship/friendship etc really ramp up the charm and sexiness. It turns into this over the top Voodoo vibe to (at best) distract from how little else there is on offer or (at worst) as part of a predatory, manipulative, narcissist arsenal.
Obviously, I am feeling a bit sorry for Mr. Mars-Saturn here. Could the situation be helped if you bought your Venusian wiles back home? Or is the bedroom situation literally unable to evolve? “Cold” and “Bitter” does not exactly sound promising. But you don’t need to pull a Madame Bovary trip in the 21st Century, surely?
Deathless Sexual Chemistry
Venus conjunct Mars synastry is hot but can also be strong enough to mask significant issues. This is the delineation for it in my Cosmic Compatibility report. (I substituted Mars + Venus for the names that are in the report.)
More natural hormonal phenomenon than human interaction, their sexual chemistry is deathless. Mars is a walking performance enhancer for Venus, while Venus is the ultimate aphrodisiac to Mars. They may only be in accord via their sexual chemistry but it is potent enough to drive them together again and again. They don’t care about mutual interests, nice eyes or anyone’s senses of humor. Add even one soul link to this scenario and they’re a formula for repeat hook-ups over a lifetime – perhaps many. Their orgasms serve as D.I.Y. past life regressions, evoking fond memories of pash-outs in gladiator pits, eyes locking across medieval courtyards and even strange scent memories. If one or both of them are partnered to other people when they meet, these two are a nightmare scenario for the spouse-in-place.
What does everyone else think?
*What is synastry? It refers to the angles or aspects made between the Sun, Moon, planets, and points in two people’s birth charts. It is astrological compatibility, essentially, but far more intricate and revealing than the standard “Librans like Aquarians” elemental assessments. Venus and Mars inter-aspects are the classic hot pheromonal synastry but there are many interactions.