Can you help to shed light on this surprisingly common relationship dilemma? For reasons alluded to below, I feel far too close to the scenario!
Magnificent Mystic Medusa,
I’m a lifetime member & admirer of both your astrological talents & your compelling writing skills.
As a long term lover of an Aquarius male I am currently struggling with his lack of income. I have been financially supporting his voluntary gestures to help multimillionaires realise their dream gardens or find their dream sound systems, among other adventures – requiring months of work and almost always unremunerated.
I have just made a stand about my financing his support for other people’s projects. He is aghast.
Is it inevitable that an Aquarian will never understand the drain he exerts on my energy & finances? I also can’t believe I’m in this situation. I’m a fun loving Gemini for God’s sake – I was never meant to be cast in this supporting role (for 16 years)…
My dear Perturbed Gemini,
I appreciate your compliments SO much but fear I am not the person to answer this. Why not? Well, I was raised by a Gemini-Aquarius duo, with my father being the Aquarian. Even though I don’t think I’ve ever described Aquarius as being particularly prone to blowing money on others not-in-need, your story seems hauntingly familiar.
People were often puzzled by my explanations for having to skip a school trip or similar – “I’m sorry…because your father is still paying off the import fees for the Tuscan bricks he purchased for a concrete manufacturer?” But I was surprised at their puzzlement. It took me years to figure out that surreal, costly and unsolicited gifts were not the norm. I vividly recall the power being cut off because paying for someone’s patent fees took precedence.
Even the most extravagant of my friend’s fathers blew money or went broke for their own pleasures – what’s more it was usually their money. Maybe it was still irresponsible but logical within the framework of decadence, entitlement etc.
Getting your mistress a nose job is morally suss, obviously, but in pure monetary terms it will presumably have a sexual payoff. It’s skeevy but understandable within ‘getting laid’ logic. And while compulsive gambling has well-documented adverse impacts, the person doing it gets a dopamine surge, however short-lived.
Are Aquarians Conventional-Money-Wisdom-Phobic?
What is the reward for courting financial fuqery via grandiose gifts to people who don’t need them? It could seem as if the giver was trying to signal that they too are at the millionaire’s level yet is that Aquarian? It’s not even a particularly successful gesture – self-made millionaires are not known for their nutty generosity or nonchalance with $$. They’re not going to regard the giver with awe.
Could it be because Aquarians are bored by conventional money wisdom – phobic, even – and seek to subvert it with their personal home-brewed gonzo wisdom?
Your Aquarius guy has, of course, crossed a line when he starts to cramp your financial freedom and possibly put your security at risk. But let’s talk solutions. Sixteen years is a lengthy relationship and I’m assuming he has many fabulous qualities or you wouldn’t be in this relationship.
So has he become worse of late or is the end of the Pluto in Capricorn (aka low interest post-GFC era) giving you the financial heebie-jeebies? It can’t have been this bats for the whole 16 years although…your relationship began with Pluto in Capricorn!
If you were able to ring-fence your finances from his crackpot schemes, would you be happy with him? Or do you fear contagion, so-called sexually transmitted debt or having to support him one day?
Most importantly, why was he aghast when you raised this? Aquarians are supposed to be objective but to be fair, that is often more to the fore when someone else is emotive. Could you phrase your objections in a way that he finds appealing? You know, put it in the context of a niche philosophy or grass-roots movement?
Do You Have Time For Aquarius Stunt Spending?
My inner Saturn-Hermit persona says that if this is your partner’s overt behaviour, what are his less obvious spending habits? If you’ve been with him this long and particularly if you share a house and/or debt, you’re liable for his everything.
Saturn-wise, scoot off and have a discreet discussion with a lawyer. With Uranus in Gemini from 2025 bringing so many rad opportunities for Geminis, do you have spare time to try and talk him down from his “aghast” platform? Or for this stunt spending?
Or, sync with Pluto in Aquarius – get your partner a weekend away doing something suitably Aquarian and spend the time leisurely going through all the financial data.
Once you’ve worked out the extent of it, make your plans. It may help negotiations if you’re able to tell him he’s spent precisely X $ on something yet earns Y – to show the unsustainable nature of it through numbers, not emotions.
What does everyone else think?