The Pluto-Eris square seems synchronized with some sensational next-level feminism. Examples? Gemini gymnast and Olympian Aly Raisman’s extraordinary victim impact statement and speech/confrontation of her abuser in court.* The Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson “no longer pandering to men” talks at the marches in America. Self-help material zinging around on Facebook referring to the post-patriarchy.
But while all this has been no threat to integrated, people, there is a spike in the incidence of a certain type of person showing off low-level hostility and aggro toward women. Petty power trips and casual misogyny. Both lower vibe guys and the ladies who enable them. With this in mind and given it’s not always possible to distance yourself from lower-Mars energy, we should update our F-Wit Management Strategies.
Pluto forces change and Eris – which I think of as more Persephone, the Shadow-Queen – is feminine empowerment. And the Pluto Eris square is rousing primal witch vibe, threatening the patriarchy as it rises.
The Pluto Eris Square Awakens Primal Witch Vibe
A certain strain of sexism really stings. It is usually something that is manifestly unfair, being blamed or shamed for something that is either not our fault or not anything to be ashamed about. And even though the person doing it is often a non-entity or relic seeking to smear someone else to cover their rancidity, it can hurt.
Though the pre-frontal cortex bit of the brain rationalizes the situation and reacts logically, the limbic system remembers old abusive scenarios. Darker still, there is a collective memory of religious persecution against women. Being judged or mocked for being too ‘slutty’, ‘weird’ ‘single’ or ‘old’ evokes the shadow of the witch hunters.
So what to do?
Take steps, however small for now, toward life policies that minimize contact with such people?
But they have always been with us and probably always will, thriving in some eras more than others. There seems to be no better strategy than dealing with the root pain or trauma (as above) that the F-Wit triggers or echoes.
That and refusing to go along with even micro-abuses or diminishment of females purely because toxic patriarchy would prefer to have them marginalized. I’m not even putting up with the ‘cat lady’ term as an insult.
And then, of course, there is the oldest revenge spell in the world: Living Well.
*Aly Raisman was born with Pluto conjunct the North Node in Scorpio and her generation’s Uranus-Neptune conjunction in Capricorn. The day she confronted her abuser so eloquently was transit Uranus was conjunct Eris and square her natal Uranus-Neptune (plus probably that of most of her gymnastic peers) and sextile her Mercury in Gemini.
Image: Aly Raisman testifying against Larry Nassar, the former national doctor to the USA gymnastics team.
How does this relate to Iran right now?
I am working on a post re just this – and some other factors – which should be up this weekend!
Yes Living Well is the best revenge.
Love this post !
p.s. I adore the picture.
Toxic workplace sitch is up to eleven and Grand Psychopath on the rampage. After a minor breakdown last week I am back to full Defcon 1st House Pluto / Uranus (to borrow dark star’s wonderful term). It’s pretty good to realise that while it’s irritating and stressful, it’s not the end of the world. Fuq her – in the scheme of Operation Awesome she’s a minor troll. In fact it’s galvanised my resolve to finish the unfinished uni thing and get out of the cube farm asap. Am considering taking time off without pay to get it done quicker and free myself up to look for full-time work.
I recognise it is hard to unplug from these people when they cross my path – old family of origin stuff triggered – but I am getting better at dodging them.
Amazing chrysalis
Its so nice to realise that we can pole-vault over a sticky morass of unnecessary complexity because we have a more clear direction in mind. Espesh if it locks into the old grooves… Am relating to this. hard, emotional work! But rising above because it feels good to be free! Also: later, punks.
Sheesh I hope so, pi. It’s horrible at the cube farm right now, absolutely exhausting. But I am determined.
Times like that I’m probably grateful for having Venus in Aries and a sharp tongue and maybe sword wielding sister of Ares on my MC. Don’t even care if I shoot someone down, if I think it’s worth it. Sometimes it is a paint scraping sideswipe as I’ll figure the direct approach is less effective but i make sure they get the message. Quite happy to render their unconscious prejudices as conscious as possible 😀
I was stabbed by said sword a few days ago. One day, sharing of a dream where this person understood emotions I was going through that I did not share verbally. Next day, I was triggered by comments from same person. They cut so deep. Not sure if it was intentional but obviously this person can tap in due to our strong connection (not sexual btw).
Took me a while to recover but one thing that is pulling me through is my Uranus rising, like a beacon of rebellious independence. Learn from it, move on from it. In the end, strong and vibing just fine.
Going to the root for ourselves is where it’s at for me. Sometimes there’s an easy release from the soil, sometimes it’s so unfamiliar to what we thought we planted we imagine it can’t be ours and belongs in someone else’s garden and then perhaps sometimes we get drunk on it’s juices as they soak though our skin whilst tugging at the root that we forget why we started. Sometimes we yank on the bloody thing so hard hoping to quickly remove it before anybody notices and make out like it was never there to begin with although the gaping hole it left in our garden is now a kind of magnetic vortex to all sorts of non-compostable debris. Gosh I could keep having fun with this but…
Simple rule for me – if it comes out of my mouth it’s mine.
Simple truth for me – sometimes we are all f-wits.
I endeavour to be compassionate but I also reserve the right to do that from a distance and silently if that feels more appropriate. I no longer see that as a weakening of my position as that’s not even relevant to me. Holding my own space doesn’t diminish ability to see others so if that gets triggered I’m back to me not the other as it’s my feeling. All that reads like some sort of perfect formula upon reflection. It’s not, it’s messy at times and often not a 5 minute exercise you can do whilst brushing your teeth or put into a feel good affirmation. Even when you think you know it you’re still pulling a U-turn in a no U-turn zone and applying some last minute braking at times to stop a collision of f-wittery but it is interesting and I’m blessed to be able to see the humour in a lot of it, albeit sometimes after a bit of a vent hehe.
I’ll also just clarify that I’m not referring to anything outside of my own frame and definitely not relating my comments toward the gender or political environment currently or historically.
Your last para, agree.
My fuq-wit strategy has always reflected my multi-Piscean ways. Higher Pisces reaction = seeing the weak and damaged parts of their psyche and feeling compassion and therefore “Forgive them O Lord for they know not what they do”.
Low Pisces reaction = instant, walls up, Pisces blank-eyed stare and internal observations of all they ways fuq-wit is obviously an inferior idiot not to be believed and if they are, they’re sure as hell not going to see any reaction out of me apart from aforementioned blank-eyed stare. And probably some maddening, pass-agg behaviour for the foreseeable future just because I can.
SPOT ON!
I am writing this while still seething, LIVID over an email I just received from a client that he would have never sent to a male business partner.
No, they will always be around, and yes, healing the original trauma is a good idea.
In the meantime? Be loud, be heard, roar (don´t scream)!
A friend shared recently how a man accused her of being over-emotional. Normally this would have triggered shame and apologies from her, but instead she surprised herself (and likely him) by guffawing in his face and then moving the conversation forward.
I suppose: It’s worth mentioning that Aly could well have been counseled by many around her that she should “not let [her abuser] take up mental space” and not bother attending the trial or talking at it. This absolutely does happen. Victims of abuse are blamed all the time for revealing the abuse or told to move on with their lives, and not bother being angry with or wanting to confront either the abuser or the people who enabled it.
Sometimes, the person, or the people upset about knowing about it, need/s to be confronted and forced to look at themselves. And sometimes the victims need that confrontation for healing.
Often, perpetrators get away with abusive behavior because people would rather walk away and “live well” as revenge. This is why the victims who speak up, or the people who resist abuse and harassment in real time (for instance hitting someone who has grabbed your tit or trapped you in a corner by the bathroom–i.e., self-defense) get blamed as troublemakers (see also, every liberation movement since the beginning of time).
The balance is: Will it make you feel better? I know when I decided to start fighting back, physically, against sexual assault, I felt better. THAT finally stopped the continued mental violation (“I wish I’d done this/that…”, etc.) *Maybe,* after I kneed him in the balls, the guy would think twice the next time he pressed a chick up against the wall and put his hand in her crotch, maybe not. But *I* was able to sleep better at night having done it.
It also happens alot when, in the course of a conversation, you decide to confront someone re: any racism, sexism, etc. People drag you away, saying they’re not worth the energy, etc. If no one speaks up, well, no one speaks up. There is no reckoning without confrontation.
I know it’s my Pluto Rising and Mars in Aries talking, but for reals: Sometimes, it’s actualy worth it to kick against the pricks. LOL.
I think you may have misunderstood what i am saying or perhaps not had time to read the post. I am not suggesting that abuse victims say nothing or content themselves with living well etc. I cited Aly Raismann’s incredible court testimony approvingly. I though that was clear.
My point was that this broad atmosphere of abusers being held to account seems to have encouraged a lower version of f-wit behaviour and this post was discussing ways to deal with those lesser outbreaks of f-wittery, not actual abuse.
I wasn’t posting what I said as an argument or “other side” to your post but as a sort of “keep in mind,” really. I did not think you were suggesting that–because I have been a subscriber for many years, and, as you said, you mentioned Aly Raismann’s testimony approvingly–yes, that was clear.
I just wanted to add that sometimes people prescribe the things you did below to the more important stuff.
Maybe I’m not experiencing this “lower fuckwit” behavior or misunderstood your definition, but people defending or excusing abuse or mansplaining, etc.? I’m not so sure I think that isn’t worth confronting either. I am also not adverse to taking the approach of “living well…” in some instances. I was careful to say “sometimes.”
I for one, am sick of the hypocrisy of seeing people defriend their friends on FB because those friends voted for Trump, and wax righteous about every new celebrity accusation, while they remain friends with men we know for sure assaulted, or in some cases raped, mutual friends of ours. I can’t go on FB because of it…but I am starting to think that day of reckoning will have to come as well. I’m not entirely sure that fight is worth the energy, but I have to admit, sometimes I want to throw the monkeywrench into their friends’ lists, like a Crazed Virgo.
It would upset me if you thought I’d thought you were saying people should suffer in silence. I was only trying to add that sometimes those “Zen” phrases can be used to ill-effect. I did re-read my post a couple times trying to make sure it didn’t seem like I was coming across that way: This is why people (even editors) need editors! Sorry it came off that way.
Really only wanted to add something to the post, not argue or contradict it.
By lower fuqwit behaviour i mean more the sort of thing that’s grunt-level sexism, not worth confronting or wasting ones breath over but it still leaves a vile slimy auric trail in its wake. There is probably an interesting discussion re what to pick up on and what to ignore.
I too do not understand those that claim to dislike abusers remain friends and enable them when they know what they did.
I stood up and was very loud about the abuse I endure to only have my female friends abandon and side with the abuser. They even knew he had a problem with molesting children and raping teens but still stood by his side. It infuriates me.
On witch burnings…I can’t stand the echo. Just keep calmly reminding them. I am here now. I manage a household. I own property. I do not have a wife or servants. I have a right to life. Unbelievable this is still a thing. Like a single adult female is still a debatable creature. No more. Is this really important? Why, yes, managing my own business is important. Now quietly fuq off.
Yes you are very much Here.
I’m profoundly touched to have met you. Have always had an old photograph of yours, i think more than one, flash into my mind at various times. The wild power and the sadness in those images have somehow assured me it is more than fine to be as i am, too.
Thanks love. You come to my mind too. In moments when I think I may be too bold to be acceptable. Strange to be close to a stranger. 🙂
I think something of my presence is off settling to people. I have theories about why. I have noticed if I look in their eyes and listen to them – it doesn’t matter what they are saying – they calm down. Trying to use that trick in business in 2018.
Very timely. Playing out directly in my domestic and work situations. I also felt it shift in the collective around the weekend. I have power. Not a lot but enough to claim my own life. Baseline. Enough to not be threatened by every jab. And if I am kidding myself about that, someone is going to have to come from the shadows and explain that sht to me. Face to face. Calm. Just – explain? So far, just shadows. On a more practical note, I cut all dairy, grains, alcohol, sugar, et al. From my diet. My mood is much more stable day to day. Petty doesn’t get me.
Famous Italian poet Alda Merini wrote: “The best revenge is being happy”.
Cheery zen attitude. I love this. Sometimes I remind myself that this is the only defence.
I’ll make sure to make this my ongoing mantra.