A Taurus With Aquarius Man Issues

Expert Help For Aquarius Man Issues!


Hey Mystic,

I am a Taurus with Uranian Love Blues. I don’t usually go too weepy and wallowy –  not since my Pluto-Venus transit. But I got broken up with two weeks ago, and it’s got me down.  I am a Taurus Sun, and I know Uranus in Taurus is supposed to be upping my mojo.

But since the Aquarius man I was seeing broke up with me just after the last new Uranian moon, I’ve been struggling a lot.  It was only after my birthday, and he did quite the about-face. He went cold and broke up with me on the phone after about half a year of seeing each other.  

First, he got me some epically gorgeous and personalized birthday present and then wham, one week later, it was BYE.  Big effing surprise. Or was it?  I guess we didn’t survive the Transition Zone.  

After talking every day for the first half of the year, I miss him.  It’s hard to move on since he evaporated after giving me every available excuse in the breakup excuse dictionary, but I still feel zero understanding as to why.  

I handled it as stoically as I could with no anger or clinging and haven’t made any contact.  I’ve been journaling, reading about grief, healing, unconditional love, and doing my best — shamanic de-cording meditation, sage, ritual bathing, etc.  

But my issue – is I keep feeling like this MF is going to reappear since he disappeared so cryptically as well cryptically.  I want to be able to move on.  It’s been a struggle.  Any suggestions?  Ritual suggestions?  Aquarian Wisdom?

Uranus in Taurus to be quite frank has been a bit of a wet blanket for me.  I’ll get over it and get back to my creative zeitgeist as you might say.  But damn, I am a bit heartbroken.

Jennie the Taurus

Dear Jennie the Taurus,

Of COURSE, he is going to reappear cryptically. If I had the digital infrastructure, I would run sweepstakes on this. This break-up occurred within the Mars Retro zone. Homie will be re-activating during the actual Retrograde phase from late June to late August.

Fuq it. Do not make any contact whatsoever and i bet you he will be hunky door-stopping you within 24 hours of Mars turning Retrograde. Aquarius men think that they are ludicrously unpredictable, but they run on schedule, always.

Recall that this is Mars in Aquarius until mid-November. It’s the most extended stay of the Warrior God in Aquarius since the early Seventies. It’s like the Matrix Reloaded out there. Or unplugged. Whatever.

So your Aquarius Man is probably restless beyond belief and viscerally feeling the potential entrapment of a relationship, any relationship. This won’t be personal. It would be experienced more as existential dread evoked by the prospect of being in a conventional pair bond.

Like when you’re walking through the compulsory Ikea maze and viscerally experience your conformity — or browsing the Daily Mail’s sidebar of shame like a mass tabloid lab experiment.

The ritual for getting an Aquarius Man back is not to give a fuq

Reset your brain so that you literally shut down whatever synapse is triggered by this character and he will come back. The ritual for getting an Aquarius Man back is not to give a fuq.

Picture him on an alien tundra in another galaxy. That unapproachable. That distant. Or as a conspiracy theory that you dismissed the moment you heard it.  But the real question here is, apart from missing him and his spooky little Uranian brain, do you want him back?

Uranus in Taurus IS going to be rad. Maybe he cleared off for good reasons? It wasn’t meant to be? But I think he freaked and that if you retain Stealth Mode, he will be back.  Or so what? When you’re a Taurus with Uranus in Taurus, you would be able to out-weird him effortlessly. What does everyone else think?

Image: Eyvind Earle – Man In Space Concept Art

85 thoughts on “A Taurus With Aquarius Man Issues”

  1. Perturbed Gemini

    Hi Taurus
    I feel your pain – I’m dealing with an Aquarius man at the moment too – but I agree that he will probably return when you least expect it!
    Good luck with the rollercoaster…

  2. Mars Retro till late August, in Aquarius till mid-Nov…Listen to the Mars Mastery Mp3 – Aqua Man could be indefinitely cray-cray! Ahead of their time, they’re already a la mode for Pluto in Aquarius

  3. i think leaving abruptly is true aqua/uranian trait, not saying haute ura/aqua, but, i do it, when im done and i wont tolerate shit no more, u wont even get an owl from me, its smoke-time. But i only do it to people who repeatedly treated me poorly or narcissistic/psycho characters, that won’t even handle adult conversation. Also, we leave when we have things to ponder, wee need alone time like no one. strong emotions sometimes also make us take a step back, till we KNOW what s going on inside us, ♥s&mind. so, he could come back, yes. Now, i should be feeling energetic as max, right? (aqua gal here) instead (w sudden bursts of energy of-co) i got tummy issues, which is very odd for me…mhn…tau/aaqua is quite a pair…

  4. Yes, be what you wish to attract detached individuated and rad but in your own awesome Taurus way! Worked for my tauri mom and Aqua dad 😉

  5. What we Aquarian men don’t want is that clingy, needy, gushing love sentiment; it gives us the creeps.

    Scorp ex ditched me via text. Took nine months for wound to heal. I’d never do that, ever.

    Agree with M regarding not giving a fuq. I have my eye on a strawberry blond virgo. She replies to my communiques anywhere from three hours to one month and at the most weirdest of moments. Arrives for lunch and breakfast “non-dates’ up to an hour late.

    Tardy a f, and couldn’t give a, but I love her for it. When we do face-time it’s like holding hands in a wormhole vortex. Then we land, return to reality, say our good-byes, pick up where we left off next time.

    1. Actually, post reading this week’s astro, I’m abandoning all ideas of the aforementioned Virgo. Gotta get real.

    2. Well, that’s great. I love loyalty, authentic expression and people who show up

      Wormhole and romance don’t belong in the same sentence for me

      1. and for the record that Aquarian man mentioned in above post was the most codependent and clingy and sentimental man I’ve ever met until he got real scared

      2. I could change-out the word, wormhole, for mind-meld void of any period of calibrated time.

        Re Gushing sentiment: I feel that actions are all that’s required – true loving ones – rather than some ott Hollywood bs cliché.

  6. Breaking up over the phone after a 6 mo relationship is just plain chickenshit spineless & thoughtless.

    If something scared him off once, it will happen again. When people treat you badly the first time, believe them. Be kind to yourself, do you, & it will get easier. Sending love, light & peace thru the ethers. xx

      1. true.everytime. adding to it, aquas do leave. and its okey to just be over it. its like sagg sense of adventure, they do it great or… but yes, NO excuse to poor human behaviour.

  7. Was total love Zombie for Aquarius guy for a number of years. I totally being bread crumbed but for some reason I thought it was fate and we would be together I was obsessed with him.

    He is seriously obsese – had been to jail in his youth and had cheated on his wife previously and didn’t tell me that he was married – nice but I actually thought I was going to make a life with this lying pig of a man – I was so weirdly hooked in.

    I came up with an analogy about this for a friend – at the time I was getting divorced…at the time you don’t realise you are actually emotionally bleeding and Aqua man was like a leech – he was sucking my emotional blood but injecting anethestic that felt soothing at the same time as draining all the good.

    With Mars retro in shadow I weirdly found out last week he is back in my city. I know when retro is on we will bump into each other – I am prepped what do you do with a narcissist? Ignore their existence.

    1. Love your analogy of bleeding out and him being an emotional leech. I absolutely went through the same Love zombie scenario as a Scorpio with a very unavailable Aries when I went through my divorce 4 years ago. We are the best of friends now, which is funny – but only after a ton of emotional ups and downs, and cord cutting of our odd co-dependent but never-romantic relationship. So glad things never went beyond friendship (despite my desperation for it at the time!) Phew! That would’ve been the end of me.

      1. Yes it’s amazing how once love zombie goggles are off we see how bad these situations would be for us if they actually came to fruition.

  8. Jennie the Taurus, I completely empathize. As a May 16th Taurus, I was broken up with yesterday after dating someone exclusively for two years via email. To say I was blindsided is an understatement. I also received an utterly gorgeous, personalized birthday gift a little less than a month before.

    The person in question is a Cap Sun/Cap Moon but he does have an Aqua Venus at 1* degree, which is now being squared by Uranus.

    I’ve also been reading about the stages of grief and doing everything in my power to avoid the dreaded and pathetic “bargaining” phase. Just trying to be a new, empowered, Uranian me and move past this as quickly as possible.

    Which I had better advice to give, but you have my love and solidarity. Here’s to the next 7 years.

    1. That is just shitty behaviour – stay strong and remember you are fabulous and this is an expression of your ex’s lack of worth not yours!!!

  9. Baaah, I feel like this is somehow not relatable enough, but it’ll feel good to get it out of me.

    My ex aqua rising conjunct merc, pisces sun, sag moon contacted me out of the blue with (this is a first) a specific request to talk because he was feeling insecure and bored and really wanted a friend to be able to air it too.

    This email request came in the middle of my last session in a 9 month women’s group around relational therapy and I barked out a laugh when I saw it. Think I even had a thought of ‘of course this is timed like this.’

    I did kind of fall into it too.It’d been weeks of me feeling happy that I didn’t feel any stickiness in me around him. I knew we would talk at some point, but in my mind I knew that it’d likely involve me practicing calling out the fourth wall because I feel like neither of us right now can really be the best of friends to each other. (on my part if I could I want to just yell at him ‘Grow up Already!!’ – but that says more about me than him. That urge is a control compulsion rather than truly caring about him. So instead I’d rather just let him go off and do that however it may look and not be invested in that outcome. Feeling good that I no long feel invested in it.

    Like I said though I kind of fell into it – in the sense that that email turned into email tag. And moreso me telling him I’m available, getting irked when his computer wasn’t working and him not apologizing for taking up my time (not a requirement I know I know, I checked myself.) Him messaging me instead that he’s just going to go eat ice cream, smoke a spliff and masturbate. (This I fuuuumed at simply because ain’t no body needs to know when you’re masturbating g’dammit.)

    I simply replied *shrug* whenevah. Because I’m not putting any energy into making a call happen. If I’m free I’m free and when we do talk, to have myself on a clean state and present and seeing what responses that brings up.

    (I’m an aqua sun and my aqua mercury is conjunct his Aqua ASC/mercury, only my merc is retrograde.)

    1. I am dying over this story. Next time he tells you he’s milking his rooster, you should send him a pulled pork recipe and see if he gets it.

      1. OMG yaaaass!!

        Weirdly I am super friends with his younger brother (btw this aqua ex is 29 years old n telling me his rub jobs like they’re news, ugh) who is an aqua sun-leo rising and he told me how a woman schooled him so hard by suggesting he go read The Little Hen because he was constantly trying to connect with her by asking about homework, and what is due/when etc
        He squirmed but he took it to heart thankfully..

  10. Hey it’s Jennie –

    You guys are dope af and it seems I’ve turned a corner the past few days and my spiritual/meditation/queendom/decording ritual is sinking in and I am not giving this any more energy. Long hair don’t care. The gift of this break up has been realizing for the first time in my entire life that I truly believe I’m worthy of love and for the first time after a rejection/break up I actually feel sorry for the MF because I’m that happy and that amazing.

    Thanks for all that info Mystic, you are the queen of everything as always and I cackled all the way home with this shit. Maybe part of me already knew the answer… indeed

    Xoxoxo Jennie the Taurus

  11. Uh Aquarius men.. I recently had a situation that started off with a nice friendship where an Aqua man was flirting with me, texting me for months and then blossomed into a mutual thing- he even told me he wanted to sleep with me!
    Then, as soon as I returned from an overseas trip & broke up with my failing relationship, he literally disappeared haha! I thought I was a live Zombie but actually he was said love zombie, only interested in the fantasy.
    Not ONE text or effort to see me, also curved me at his usual hangouts plus would not reply to my texts.
    Obviously relationships and availability are like cryptonite to be avoided at all costs to the Aqua man.
    Who the fuck wants that fickleness and sudden change of mind in a love interest? Especially not a down to earth, chilled Taurus with a calm & collected “together” vibe? Not you! I agree with mystic, good riddance x

  12. Dear Sister Taurus woman. Speaking from 23 years experience with an Aquarius…. MOVE ON! Run away. Fast. Don’t look back. Don’t go back. You’ve got the get out of jail card…. USE IT!
    Do what I say. Not what I did.
    Seriously. In 23 years I really cannot remember one moment of truly genuine love from the guy.
    There was always an agenda. An excuse. Suspects of other women. Blame. Dredging up of the past. Unacknowledged special dates. On and on and on. Etc etc.
    Why did I stay?
    Stubborn. Set in my ways. Hoped for him to change.
    Never happened.
    You are Taurus. Strong. Brave. Independent. Secure in ur own self. Breathe. Show the world your confidence.
    Be assured your life is your own. Happiness is out there ahead of you.
    It is NOT behind you.
    Blessings and best wishes.

  13. Dear Taurus woman,
    I also am a seriously witchy psychicTaurus woman: Toro Sun, Gemini Moon and Pisces asc
    And a Merc gemini retro..but thats something else
    Once upon a time I encountered an Aquarius man, he was sent to be the father of my child. I dreamed him before I met him. I should have heeded those dreams, and left the country. Universe offered me another opportunity to leave the country with a lovely sane chap before it got too serious with Mister Aquarius.. Silly Moi. Past life stuff, I thought I can handle this….
    Well it turned out to be the most horrendous mind fuq power struggle for my sanity and survival . 5 years of merde and games from him.
    My lesson? Taurus and Aquarius: NON
    Toro likes to know where the ground is under their hooves. Aquarius float think and socialise in ways Toro cant deal with….and really? not a good match.
    Do yourself a favour and RUN..or just don’t be home when he decides to lurk back. Best of Luck

  14. TruthIsStrangerThanFiction

    Drop kicked a Scorpio/Toro Rising / Toro Moon / earthy Venus, Mars, Eros, Psyche out of my life. At least yours remembered your birthday – mine ignored my birthday invitation, lol. Like literally acted like he never even heard of it. He would have made a spectacular Aquarius, his disinterest in anything not related to himself was epic. I suspect he was a narcissist as he reminded me of an ex from 9 years back who was clinically diagnosed with NPD.

    Uranus in Taurus has been underwhelming. The last 2 months were horrible but this Taurus said f**k this dead plain and wandered over to a greener pasture. If they won’t feed me I’ll feed myself. You will eventually moo-ve on, too. Until than, feel and purge.


  15. I’m an Aqua sun/asc/mars/, going through a very painful break up with a Virgo. I’m heartbroken confused, and I miss him like mad even though he cheated/lied/was on Tinder/gaslighted.

    Aquas are very sensitive really, in a cryptic way. We don’t express it well or like to appear vulnerable. Everyone can feel heartbreak. I’m sorry this guy acted this way to you, I think moving on is the best thing to do and really mean it. Self respect feel amazing. That’s what I’m trying to do.

    1. i had a really bad Virgo experience too….the fifth anniversary of meeting him was yesterday. Somewhere on here, MM says Virgo and Aqua never really get over each other.

      1. I’m a Virgo who broke up her Aqua a little less than a year ago and it makes me really sad to know I probably hurt him a lot. Especially since I (still) love him so much.
        The soulvibe of Virgo/Aqua is AMAZING. Wishing you ladies lots of love.

    2. We don’t express it well in context of the easily visible cues and ways that many others do and that come naturally to others.
      I heard someone make an analogy regarding how her perceptions of aquarians changed after she watched a doc about a deaf child in an african village. he was 13 and was kind of the kook/person no one could really play with/ask to do anything because he wasn’t able to hear.
      Then some people come in and they teach this kid less than 5 words in sign language and it’s like he had his true birth. He’s able to actually interpersonally interact with people of his tribe for the very first time. And the issue was never that he wasn’t able to hear, but that there was no bridge for communication between him and everyone else.

      This kid very likely had a rich inner life. And things to say, thoughts/feelings he wishes to express, but he couldn’t do it verbally and the ways in which he could or likely tried took longer/required others to find new ways.
      When this woman was speaking I found myself crying like ‘yaaas yassss!’

      I feel like aquas have a language of their own at times, but its not easily translatable and as aquas we’ve practiced observing most of our lives and can slip on what’s required or wished for in communication, leaving our own natural ways behind. .
      Don’t think this lets aquas off the hook in anyway, but that there needs to be a bridge between an aqua’s personal lexicon/behaviour and the socially sanctioned.

  16. Dear Jennie,


    You are so much better than this guy. I’m glad he broke up with you in such a lame way so that you’ll always remember it and never take him back. I’m sorry about your heartbreak, but you’re self-actualizing and dope as sh*t, so I’m glad because homeboy was just going to bring you down long-term. Why did he break up with you? I’ll tell you why.

    Because he’s an idiot.



  17. I’m a big cancer stellium and I now live with an Aqua man. The local hero Aqua man for being into his 50’s and still single. (They’re a bit backward up here regarding relationships). Anyhow every day I tell him he’s a pain in my ass and that I’d happily give him away. And like MM says, I don’t give a fuq. He cannot get enough. I seem to have tamed him and this is after 9 years of it and plenty of on and off.
    The other thing is just send love out into the universe, remember it’s his crap not yours and continue on. Leave him alone. The more you are your own self the more Aqua loves it. But alovely hunky saggi might appear in the wait time so be ready to move on.

  18. My heart got broken just reading your words.
    I don’t agree with “ways to getting him back” ever.
    If he wants to return he will. Power plays are always wrong IMHO.
    And can you even get yourself to “not giving a fuq”? I know I wouldn’t.
    Moon in Taurus, Venus in Kataka and a Neptuian.
    Don’t giving a fuq would be the most impossible thing to do.
    Unless if it was only for me: not to having him return, but out of self love.
    Then I could impose myself with the discipline (Virgo rising) to pursue that.

  19. First – sorry to hear you are hurting, Jennie, Your pain sounds raw and you are handling it with courage and dignity. It would be interesting to know more about your chart and his to know what points are being hit by Saturn, where your moon is, the Mars-Venus links between you etc. Do you have Cap Venus and was Pluto just on it? That would have been a trip, for sure.

    As a Venus in Aqua gal – conj Dsc and Ceres, so a strong placement – I can tell you that it seems to be just how Aqua types are made. Space is paramount. Over the years I’ve had a hard time explaining to some men how space doesn’t mean ‘shallowness’ or ‘freedom to fuq around’. Speaking only for myself, the unfortunate fact is that – sometimes, not always – I only know for sure how I feel about something/someone until I am no longer in its/their orbit. Perhaps this is because all my Pisces stuff wants to merge into them and my Neptune-IC struggles with insecurity – all of which confuses the signals.
    What is going on in Aqua in your chart – do you have planets there and what house? Perhaps doing your Aqua might be an antidote to the feeling of loss.
    Keep us posted on whether or not he returns, and more importantly – if you still want him when it happens x

  20. Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot

    I think he will reappear the moment you hock/toss/give away the gorgeous personalised gift.

  21. I’m an Aquarius who has previously wound up with Aqua or Toros. (What is it with that Aqua-toro thing?! It’s under recognised as a phenomenon. This should be researched. Flow charted. Hell, Venn diagrammed, even.)
    Anyway, I’ve found the trick with Aqua dude fuqwittery is to analyse how they actually treated you throughout what they are probably privately referring to as your “not a relationship.” Odds are good, if you think about it, they were distant? Vague about their whereabouts at times? Told you whatever fresh version of Mr. Unavailable chatter lowered your expectations of a pair bond? (I may be projecting here, my last Aqua man once compared his relationship with me as akin to the relationship he had with both the cat and the refrigerator, and no, he wasn’t joking, and yes, he was slightly resentful of the cat.)
    Funnily enough, despite the Aqua man tendency to try to rebrand your relationship as a no-expectationship to ameliorate their guilt at suddenly dematerialising. If you intellectually challenge them that all the weight of evidence points to the fact it was a relationship, they will concede the point, whilst still maintaining it doesn’t matter because you’re just friends. I dated an aqua who had married someone, had two kids, and still tried to tell me it didn’t count because it was only meant to be a fling.
    But he will be back. Aquarians hang on dearly to the idea that everyone is their friend. You may even be his best friend. He will reappear. Then it will be up to you whether you can handle seeing him when he does.

      1. TruthIsStrangerThanFiction

        Fixed Signs have good chemistry in some way. If not sexual, it will be intellectual or creative but it will be ‘something’

    1. YESSSSS
      You get Aqua dudes exactly
      Not a relationship..its all in the semantics
      And they’ll argue the hind leg off a dead donkey to insist they’re right and you are wrong
      Should come with a health hazard warning
      never again, I don’t care if he’sa silver fox, got 6 wolfhounds ten wineries and an island in somewhere…just NO

      1. (To be fair, my partner is Aqua, also, but he’s an exception. Sag rising and Leo moon seems to mitigate the more unfortunate side of Aqua)

        1. Yeah that’s a good description…the whole Aqua thing tempered by fire is a fascinating combination.

          1. Well, he’s a very warm person, full of heart and integrity, but has the ability to switch into pure-cerebral mode, and is a clear-thinking, broad-minded genius.

            The best part of the combo, and what really works for me, is that he loves passionately, is very romantic, BUT gives me all the space I need, and needs his own space as well. I have Aqua on the DC (his sun conjunct) so I absolutely need this. I”ve been single most of my life until him and I just cannot abide someone up in my space all the time or feeling guilty because I need a night to just veg.

      2. I have always gotten along well with Aquas, have a fab Aqua ex. and lots of Aqua friends of both sexes. They are interesting folk.

        But Aries and Aqua do have that rapport. As an Aries, I love that Aquas never get shocked or judgy either

        1. Yes, exactly! The rapport is based on a certain expansiveness and permission to be yourselves. (Aries here)

  22. Does the same strategy apply to Gemini men? But going cold and distant after Jupiter went into Scorpio. I am Taurus sun.

    1. I’m an Aqua who has the lovesick blues for a Scorpio (with Aries and Saturn Rising…how good is that for me?).

      I have actually sorrowfully listened to Bob freakin’ Dylan–but he’s a Gem who doesn’t mean shit he says. Maybe I should keep it to Bowie.

      I am sympathetic, no matter what the sign or sign of the times, actually. And this incident is actually good news especially if he’s a Muggle…because it is abso clear his feelings freaked him out.

      MM is right though. It’s not that us Aquas like being ignored..it’s that we like knowing what’s going on AND we are attracted to independence. So if you go about your shit (or better! start some new shit working for like, the Catholic Worker or something) he will want to KNOW and feel like you are not dependent.

      And as Mystic says, we are feeling Mars right now–definitely have problems not just taking off on my bike for parts unknown. see? Unknown. Independence.

      I have to believe MM is right and that these decisions are not permanent (for my Scorp, you understand ;-)) but if he returns, is that is just an ego triumph? Use the time to figure out whether you WANT him. Mebbe you do? Mebbe you don’t. I’m not the type tp say that he deserves total excommunication just for being scared (if that’s your criteria, stop dating men ffs). A year and a half is a long time even at my age–which may be a freaker for him.

      The idea is, always, to have your own life. That’s what (as an Aqua) I find the most attractive. And it’s true–people sometimes depend on us for entertainment/story-value. Which can be mean, quite frankly, on top of the obvious problems,

      1. Omg you are so Mars Retro Man 😀

        Except without a chorus of menny men flanking you to underscore their own go-to fallback positions of old school strength…or is that Bob? Heheh. Just noticed something about Mars Retro for Men. Thnx PF…it goes with a lil feelin i got for no apparent reason about someone. I worked on it already, Babylon Energy comes in to rescue. Boys you think you got Ols Skool backing you? Heheh xx Watch those ladies in yr life, PF. 🙂

  23. He would love the “mental” space of stealth mode. I grew up with dad n bro as Aquarius men and my aqua rising meant we always needed emotional and social timeout just to digest our life. We were happy when we sorted the unconscious vibes out and could return to tolerate each other’s minor quirks.

      1. Hey i was wondering about yr astro. That’s great study/ obsv stuff for many things under these stars.

        Have been reading yr posts with interest.

        Thanks, Jacqui.

    1. Space is also good. My whole family is air…so my dad and I (Aquas) and mom and bro (Libras) all retreat and then come down to the table to argue. Ahem discuss. Except we’re agreeing with each other. LOL.

      1. Recognise this so much!! Retreat to rooms to read /social media, come down at mealtimes, or shared activities, refreshed and ready for more ‘debate’ lol

    2. “Needing emotional and social time just to digest our (life) lives” – this is such a thing though. I feel I need this and negotiating it without hurting feelings or seeming too cray-cray is the everything. A partner who gives me space is all. (Sagg rising, Venus & Mars in Libra in 9th)

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