Professional Love Zombie

Hola Mystic,

Have just read your Daily for Wednesday and it sounds like a coincidentally timely warning! I am massively battling an attack of Love Zombie. It could turn into a nasty one; biz and pleasure mix, multiple parties, various countries, significant life changes, etc, etc, etc.

I know the drill – you’ve drilled us hard – stay focused on The Awesome, channel zombie energy into productive areas, harden the farq up and be an adult about it (I’m paraphrasing here). Bit difficult to do when my up-coming moment of truly individuated everything (no delusions here – this will be a new level and I will dictate rules) is inextricably linked with Object-Of-Love-Zombie-Attack. In fact, said Object will facilitate my Awesome, and me theirs!

Mystic, thank you for defining the Love Zombie condition. Just having a name for it makes it that much easier to manage. This may even be your biggest (public?) contribution to humanity so far.

Yours gratefully,
Professional Love Zombie

Hola Professional Love Zombie and thank you!

I had no idea Love Zombies were turning pro but hey, we have got to evolve with the Zap Zone, right?

Okay so for those of you with NO idea what we are talking about, the Love Zombie “virus” was first identified in Lady, You Don’t Need Astrology.

Anyway, if you’re evolving – which you clearly are – and the whole Love Zombie vibe is proving productive, it’s (sort of) okay. It’s only problematic if you’re stagnating in a toxic stew of e-stalking, yearning and tedious obsession.

But Love Zombie episodes have led to people to compete in ultrathons, learn how to astral-travel or dance, launch companies and get breakthrough therapy. Sure it still hurts to one day wake up and realize that they were in love with a figment but they have abs, money banked or a richer spiritual perspective at least.

This may be the difference between amateur Love Zombies and Professional Love Zombies like yourself.

Despite being a highly qualified and professional astronaut in her day, Lisa Nowak may just be the ultimate amateur Love Zombie.  This is the woman who drove 900 miles across America in nappies (so she would not have to waste time stopping for loo breaks) to kidnap the girlfriend of the man she believed herself destined to be with.

The tragi-absurd crime inspired a spate of headlines like “Lust In Space,” “Dark Side of the Loon” and “Astronutty Love Triangle.” It also destroyed Nowak’s career – understandably – and traumatized her intended victim, the imaginary rival.

It also proved that the Love Zombie condition can addle the minds of intelligent, accomplished people – stoic enough to be a space mission flight engineer in this case. Nowak’s natal chart is quite Neptunian – more arty than astro and flighty as opposed to flight engineer-ish: she was born with a Taurus Sun square Saturn plus Mars and opposite Neptune. Her Venus is also quincunx Neptune and her Moon is probably conjunct Neptune – there is no public birth time for her.

This is all academic but the squares to Saturn + Mars suggest someone who may have been under pressure to take a particular career path, something engineering, surgery or military.

She committed her crime in Feb 2007 – Neptune in Aquarius was conjunct her natal Saturn, squaring her Sun and opposing Mars. It’s like she could not get signals from her sensible Saturn all of a sudden! It was muffled. And if it were not really that meaningful to her psyche, perhaps the trappings of being an astronaut etc were not enough to over-ride the whacko impulses? Pure conjecture of course.

But if she’d been a set-designer with a crush on a theatre director, she probably would have contented herself with some naff drunken messaging to the guy. Or creating excruciating art around it – her Neptune would have had an outlet.

Anyway, grumble about Saturn as much as you like – it’s a great anti-folly mechanism.


75 thoughts on “Professional Love Zombie”

  1. I think the LZ virus is a bit like alcoholism in that you’re never really cured as such because tendency will always be there but awareness is the everything.

  2. It’s been months since I read my LZee’s scopes, or that of his wife. I cringe so much at that admission it’s taken me days to make it.

    Anyway, am I cured? 😉

  3. I love Mark Strong, bald or with man-wig. Tall, dark, beautifully proportionate face and body – I’m especially fond of his nose. He’s one of my rotating ‘narcissistic sex’ fetishes.

    Funny I’ve been thinking of Lisa Nowak these past few weeks. Gross. I’m always LZ’ing some celeb and don’t recall a flesh and blood relationship that didn’t at least start with hard-core LZ protocol. But I must be doing it all wrong b/c who the fuq learned to break dance and get Fortune 500 on their diaper road trips to the newest love of their lives?! I only got a box ebay-able junk for my troubles.

  4. I’m at the tail end of my own LZ episode, and I needed that. I’m a newer subscriber, found Mystic at just the right time. My muse was great fodder for painting and drawing all summer though.

  5. So weird…

    The dude i was in the year long relationship with starts visiting the website i have launched….liking the fb page for it was a step too far for me. What the is he upto? I dont want to see his face. Narcissistic a-hole. This is him just being his manipulative self trying to get back into my life after almost driving me to a nervous breakdown. If i give him a finger hell want my whole hand.

    Now…i cant figure out if it was the leo dude himself who visite the site from the country he said he would be on or his sister. And why? If its his sister (shes the manipulative, racist one with very obvious insecurities)….then im guessing its probably juat to snoop. If its the dude hinself then im chuffed.

    Urghh you see how i can take one small thibg and spin a story in my head….

    venus in leo 11th house square pluto 2nd house.

  6. Year of the Phoenix

    like when someone has these weird sensations and finally a doctor diagnoses the condition and they get cured – except the only real cure is eternal vigilance and the odd delightful afternoon of total immersion in the fantasy……

    Natal Leonine Venus 12 th opp Neptune 3rd conj moon = rich fantasy love life I should write a chick lit hit

  7. I’ve learned the hard way (several times for I am a stubborn Taurus) to pay heed to your incoming Love Zombie warnings. My best visual is from the long ago Bob Newhart show with a skit called “Stop It”, Video is on YouTube and so worth watching! Every time I want to reach out to my Virgo obsession I see Bob Newhart telling me stop it!

    1. Yes, i was thinking along the lines of The Zipper, myself… caged in, shaken, turned upside down, spun, zoomed up, then down, then you get let out and you throw up and vow you’ll never go on the ride again…until maybe the next time.

  8. Hmmm, I always seem to arrive at Mystic’s blog when I’m travelling from Neptune…

    In my latest travels as a day dreaming gatherer and disseminator of ideas I discovered one remedy for L Z issues. That good old triple mantra that is used in 12 step addiction programs, the Serenity Prayer:
    Please grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
    The courage to change what I can, and
    The Wisdom to know the difference.

    I find this gets me me in touch with Saturn at a high frequency with Neptune.

    Also getting some tunes up that have an emphasis on rhythms which enervate rather than soothe..

    Choose your delusions , I reckon 😉

  9. And I agree with the author of this post that defining the malaise that is Love Zombie is MM’s greatest gift to humanity so far. Not to diminish her genius or the other great stuff she brings but that one deserves a Nobel Peace prize or whatever award. It should definitely go into Urban dictionary and the Oxford dictionary eventually, although I rate Urban dictionary slightly higher.
    It DEFINES “he’s just not that into you”- no distills it’s very essence into one label. It is sheer genius.

  10. Oh bloody gawd. I’ve just had a 4 week imaginary relationship. Fuqing closet love zombie. I wonder if my friends knew. He would cuddle me in the kitchen as I made tea in the morning, we would laugh in the car together singing songs, talk in the shower and whisper to each in bed at night on our pillows. Did I mention the part where he wasn’t actually present for any of this? We slept together twice and then he went away. I’m not sure we even spoke that much. I do love zombie because it’s easier than actually sustaining a normal relationship where people’s breathing might annoying the fuq out of me. Saw he’s back in town and hasn’t called me. After everything we have been through. All those cuddles and cups of tea and whisperings of sweet nothings. GROW UP AND GET A GRIP!!!!!

    I annoy the crap out of myself.

    1. Haha! That sounds like my inner dialogue! I feel for you, Lilith. Maybe watching the Archie Slap repeatedly (like I seem to do on an hourly basis) might help?

      Hang in there lady!

      1. Every now and then, zombie one kenobi pops it’s head up and says

        ‘he’s so gonna call you’

        *insert Archie slap here

      1. Actually Lilith I think your imaginary friend sounds delightful. Zombie is harsh – He’s not dead if he lives in your head. Besides, didn’t you JUST burn your wedding dress. A rebound relationship with an actual human at this stage would be so wrong. You need your space. Imaginary lovers and friends never crowd you or make you jealous. Just enjoy. You sound totally sane and not a love zombie at all

        1. Best comment ever – I LOL’d immensely.

          Actual humans. Bleaurgh.

          Rose coloured zombie thoughts are prettier and nicer. : )

        2. Wow I think you’re actually onto something there!!!! Yes a rebound relationship with an actual human could be quite messy. I go through these imaginary lovers like a monthly subscription to Home and Garden magazine. I’ve had at least 6 in the last 9 months, all have left me completely shattered.

          Sadly enough he was in the car with me again today, we sang some London Grammar together. At the lights, I visualised the Archie slap. HE DOES NOT EXIST!!!

          1. OMG! The Archie Slap concept is catching on! (I’m contributing to humanity *humble sigh*!).

            I feel for you, Lilith. If the imaginary Objects de Zombie leave you shattered, that’s a tough inner space to inhabit.

            May I suggest a pet? Dog, cat, fish, plant? Something to break up the humanoid Objects? They’re cute and don’t talk back? 😉

  11. Brilliant post MM
    I was feeling the wounds itch a lot last night but the alchemy bath, candles, gardening and a little smidgeon of a workout helped a lot.
    Also rang my little Kristina for a brief chat. She’s the 21, sorry 22 yr old who is currently working as a cleaner but when I’m rich (soon) and her English is better (also soon) she will be my PA and her husband will be managing teams of guys to fix up run down properties and sell for profit.
    We are all really excited about it.
    He’s very good, practical, honest and affordable.
    We are currently redecorating my current abode even tho it’s just a rental as inexpensively as possible so we can start shooting asap.
    This week I want to meet with my super hot new financial planner/accountant to scheme and make solid plans for world domination and my becoming insanely wealthy. He loves my site and the fact that I’ll be sending him loads of new clients AKA the new feminist female financial demographic in London means I’m a VIP client with super cheap rates. He gets me and my analogue vibe. Like, totally :–D
    I highly recommend Steve Newman if anyone here is looking for their Jungian archetypes as represented in their chart.
    The consult helped me massively.
    I had a slight LZ itch yesterday but just emailed ML saying “hey full moon LZ alert happening here” I’m cool tho and I feel like sometimes just owning it and the silliness of it is a great antidote too. Like as in, it’s ok to miss someone, want what you can’t have etc but just deal with it. Live in reality!
    Also, humour helps, as does exercise!
    Eating lots of raw veggies again FINALLY!
    Health is now priority no 1. for me.
    I deserve a work life balance and decent work, decent relationships and to own my own home.
    On that note…
    Have an awesome week my darling PIABs
    love you all

    1. You contacted him??
      I’ll put you over my knee!
      Your energy is waaaay above his, do not stoop and pick up nothing.
      Sheesh, who am i to say that to you, just have fun, however-wherever 🙂

      1. Oh gawd no not HIM.
        I’m so over FF it’s not even crossed my mind to contact him apart from when I was watching Maleficent because he has the same accent and obis other striking similarities.
        No no no no my dear.
        I dropped a mail to my sweet ML who according to Steven Newman the fabulous Jungian astrologer I DO have a massive north node connection with. His Saturn is on my north node and oh just so much, like we have yod in the synastry and he basically came into my life to awaken and help me develop my NN.
        I didn’t even bother discussing FF with Steve, why would i ? What is over is over. And our karma is wrapped. Done and dusted.
        ML and I have crazy sexual chemistry tho even with my limited knowledge of astrology taking a peek at our charts it just screams hotness and LA GRAND ROMANCE. To my surprise, more for him actually than for me but he is bound. Although he is so very vanilla (as am I these days) I do still like my men tied up 🙂 with my need to roam free, his being married with 5 kids and living in a different country makes it sort of perfect. I’d prefer to see more of him but I don’t kid myself that we’d have what we have now if we were a full time thing. It’s enough that he’s raised the bar and awoken my drive to make and save grillions. He’s kind of a good dad archetype for me too. As in my dad was similarly afflicted and ML and met each other when we were both in a very dark place and our love, yes it is love, rescued us both. He was the one who suggested I go to see my father and open my heart to him. ML has a triple Virgo daughter who was very wounded by the sex addition that caused his first divorce. Because of me he no longer needs to feel shame and see a string of faceless professionals but has a woman who genuinely cares and has no designs on making herself redundant. Because of him I am inspired to make him proud. I want to show him that i’m so much more than the person I was when we met. Self esteem by proxy via LZ virus. Whoever woulda thunk? xxx

  12. My love zombie object is so dated and dust covered now that I start to Google stalk out of sheer habit and boredom only to find myself losing all interest half way through typing his name.
    Sometimes I miss the drama. The huge flood of WTF emotions and lack of logic.

  13. professional love zombie

    Hey People, it’s been about a week since I wrote that email to Mystic and how ironic it is to see it posted now – it’s stupid o’clock where I am, I couldn’t sleep, so I’ve gotten up to work on an issue that Object raised before the weekend. How Haute Love Zombie is that!

    But what a difference a weekend makes. Went to the most beautiful wedding on the weekend (I’m rather anti-marriage, so that’s a HUGE statement for me) and even though it was 100% love and joy at this event, it was clear to me that no, not with my current partner. No ignoring the fact now that my relationship is rapidly dimming. Is it over, can it be revived, do I want it to? Dunno.

    Still, I’m proud that I managed those emotions/realisations with a sparkling facade, and even more pleased that I didn’t send teenage-style ‘declaration’ txt’s to Object (which was REALLY difficult to resist as he addressed me with a totally unexpected endearment that floored me!).

    Think the best course of action with this Venus-Neptune thingy is just to set auto-pilot and ride it out until the fog lifts. And vent to you lot! Thanks for your patience with my particular strain of virus!

    1. hey, i know this is probably out there and it would take packs of slavering wolves chasing me to the edge of a cliff to get me to do the same, but what if you just aired the topic with Mr Object de Zombei? “god, you’re so hot/amazing/ and i don’t know how to handle this attraction in a sustainable fashion” or something less nerdy sounding
      sometimes voicing it kills it, true, maybe a bad thing if the feelings are in fact the nuclear fuel rods powering the working partnership..
      good luck with it all .. act in a way that your most brill self would be proud, whatever that is.

      1. but it could also ‘mature’ / progress the connection and he would also have a chance to say his piece. and you could both have less fogginess around the situation, anyway..

      2. Hey Anon, ‘Mr Object de Zombei’ – I like that, think I’ll use it! If the situation was less complex, yeah, I would air the topic. Or just pin him to a wall, lol! But he is actually my customer to whom I am delivering a significant piece of work, which is shortly due for completion. It would be really uncool to scatter the energies so close to the end.

        Plus, his GF is lovely, and I won’t cut her lunch. Not to mention my BF, who is a beautiful person and deserves much better than that. If this ever goes beyond clandestine feelings, it has to be totally morally impeachable to work out well for all.

        So I wait and watch (and stew in my virus!).

        1. Ah yes, that is a tough sitch. Better to glide on through with dignity intact and lots of words unsaid (except here! Vent away!).

          On a very recent thread, someone (flowerchild?) posted this link, which I thought very healing for LoveZombism, so I will post it again. I am verging into LZism myself with a crush, and found it like a sharp clean knife to cut through the BS:

          1. That is a great article and a brilliant Law. I won’t surprised if I’ll be thinking over it for the rest of today (which will be long!).

            Yes, lots of things unsaid, but a definite, albeit silent, ‘Fuck Yes’.

            Good luck with your crush, DP. I’m here to return the venting 🙂

            1. Yeah, I thought it pretty brilliant myself. Will help with this new one. I haven’t had a real crush on someone who responded in kind in… well, let’s not call it a decade, let’s just call it an “age”.

              And thanks, Pro-LZ. 🙂

            2. And good luck with the project, as well as sitting on all those feelings. Have you tried meditation? It helps me sit on/with mine…

              1. Thanks DP. I’m trying to make my project my focus – I have a hard time meditating; I get competitive in yoga classes!

                Don’t worry about the ‘ages’ thing – when it rains, it pours. Maybe it’s just your time in life to get comfortable with yourself? Dunno, but don’t be too hard on yourself 🙂

          2. That was actually a very intelligent article. Too bad I already have a similar philosophy. And pretty much every serious problem I have ever gotten i to was caused by me taking a friend’s advice of …but you need to stop being so picky and give so and so a try.

            however, I am exactly in the last problem category. Nobody I like ever feels “fuck yeah” for me. And of course according to the article, it is my problem, like I’m not already an awesome person. That part sort of pissed me off. The kind of people who say no to me are not that great themselves. Just saying. I’ve reality checked it.

            1. “Stop being so picky”. How many times I fell for that and tried to adjust myself to others’ expectations.

              Fuq that. Done.

              1. It wasn’t really that so much as If I simply turned down the person on my first gut instinct, I would be bombarded with “but you never gave the a guy a real chance”….,you’re just shut off and not vulnerable” …ugh…. because seriously, if I didn’t have to navigate friendship expectations, I would’ve said fuck no. Because as soon as I voiced any concerns of the dude, the friend was all backing him up, like…give him a chance.

      3. he’s taken, she’s taken, End of story!!!
        There should be no airing. Hmph!

        So you have a connection Just appreciate that. Why take it any further.

        1. Oh for heaven’s sake. It’s just an idea and depending on the maturity of the people involved, is sometimes interesting to discuss. There’s no requirement to act (on my words or if those two people were to say something). Pro LZ has her head screwed on straight it seems re this: Good.
          Love that image, lolololol. Is the same anon who posted both? (Different anon here)

          1. Straight enough to focus on work first and Zombie out in some back-seat neurological pocket!

            I don’t know, I used to think like 1st Anon does but the older I get the more nebulous relationship seem to me. It’s not just a ‘forever’ promise, it’s a journey through life and sometimes (often judging by divorce/separation data) people’s lives eventually diverge.

            As for why take it any further? Why take anything further? If we didn’t push/explore/risk, we wouldn’t evolve, would we? It just become a matter of consequences.

  14. Someone please explain to me how a person so decisive and go-getter in their life- becoming an astronaut, the epic diaper road-trip stunt- could be so wishy-washy about whether to have bangs or not.

    Make a decision! To bang or not to bang! So to speak.

    (Sorry, I have nothing intelligent to contribute today.)

      1. But it was the only time I *did* have bangs, and they were pretty damn decisive! Of course, one should have compassion for those not as bang-decisive as I was in HS (take that as you will).

        (I was the OP here BTW)

  15. Latest LZ phase for me was Haute for sure. Like I literally felt high. Made extra care to release sticky, icky needy thoughts towards him and just imagine-up freedom, bliss and light in the space between us. kept it fresh (in my mind at least!!). Wife and kids so it was never going to get past my mind, but felt good regardless. It would actually be great to channel this into a collaboration, sublimate the desire into high-vibing creative work.

  16. Yeah, I got astral travel out of it for sure. And the ability to read past lives. I was once a proper goddess. Of course. What sane PLZ would be less than Goddess? Pfft. No brainer. Be benevolent.

  17. Lux Interior is My Co-Pilot

    We’ve all been Love Zombies at one time or another.

    I even get LZ symptoms when feeling low.

    The best treatment is JUST DO YOU. (i.e. individuation?)


    Even the smartest, most awesome people can be stricken with the LZ virus.

    Forget. Flourish.

  18. Oh man, poor Lisa Nowak. She should get her own asteroid. I 100% need to know what part of my chart my Lisa Nowak is in, because I’m sure it’s there somewhere.

    1. She was born on May 10th so that’s like 19 ish degrees Taurus. Check out 19 deg Taurus and see if that’s anything important. That’s my daily work, health. and pets sector.

  19. This post is OMGF brilliant! I laughed so hard I nearly cracked a rib – it’s so absolutely correct – IF…..the LZ energy is channelled anywhere else but the object of distraction – I am building a freakin empire and the obsession leaves me no time for LZ crap! and that’s the way I like it. With neptune conjunct my sun in pisces exactly! and the full super moon rearing it’s head I am steering well away from my usual suspects (aka chardonnay and the narcisistic ex) and manifesting creative genius! hopefully! Oh, and I must give my aries moon/rising the credit where it’s due – the aries rising does help to shift the emo scale from grief/despair up a notch to fire and brimstone anger and boy does that feel better!

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