Honesty In Dating Profiles: Aquarius

When Aquarius decides to tell the truth in their online dating profile you can learn a lot about what Aquarius relationships are really all about. (Humor).

Aquarius:  Seeks a devoted partner who won’t break my rhythm nor attempt to impose conventional expectations.

Loves: Humanity.

Hates:  Familiarity.  Crowds.  Vulgarity.  Common opinions.

The Last Book I Read Was: None of your fuqing business.  Why do you think Kindles have passcodes?

You Would Ideally:  Be not physically present too often but operate more like an asteroid of erratic orbit, always in within gravity pull but not predictable by anything other than software yet to be invented.

Would Consider: An Artificial Intelligence.

Perfect Date:  1803 – the discovery of palladium.

Diet: Complex. Your breaking trend is my “been there.”

Political Views:  Spectacular.

Occupation: Crepuscular.

Do admit that Aquarius relationships have rarely been so succinctly depicted.

Image: Claude Montana

112 thoughts on “Honesty In Dating Profiles: Aquarius”

  1. This is funny and reminds me a lot of my current one.
    My slug line is STOP TELLING WOMEN TO SMILE
    and then i think (haven’t logged on in weeks) it says something like
    World weary, manorexic pseudo Buddhist and a bit of a rant about how lacking in diversity and imagination the multiple choice questions are.
    That the reason I ticked “I’d rather not say” on most boxes ISN’T because I’d rather not say, it’s because I’m not given the option.
    Also chick flick is a genre?
    Seriously?
    And I’m supposed to decide whether I like it or not..hmm
    I didn’t see any Feminist under any of the political choices and I’m not settling for “left leaning” or “green”
    I noticed that Woman’s Fiction, which is distinct from women’s writing incidentally, wasn’t listed under the “what type of books I enjoy”
    Why does other fiction get to be called Fiction and not what it it really is, Books for by and about Men?
    I ticked every box under “what I’m looking for in a partner”
    as in yes, good looking, damned straight. And financially savvy, spiritually aware, flexible, generous, sense of fun, a good listener – no fuqin way am I compromising in terms of what I’d like. Screw that, oh and I didn’t see “tall” but If it had been there I’d have ticked it.
    I come over as a total bitch and am scowling in the profile shot.
    I took down the full length ones because I was getting too many emails.
    I think I’m going to up the ante and make it bitchier, I don’t want to misrepresent myself.

    1. “We were soon joined by two acquaintances of his, a foreign couple, maybe in their thirties. They talked about their philosophy of marriage as a convenient arrangement. They were evidently free spirits. I had no sympathy for their brand of low passion.”

      I’m so there.
      I realised lying in bed today (yes, write in bed and I love it. It’s cold and my desk feels way too formal, as does the chair, formal, restrictive and cold. I did better when I sat on a swiss ball and shouldn’t have listened to that “Feng Shui expert”
      A little bit of clutter is nice? Get a sign that says “Home sweet home” for your kitchen? And his voicemail was always so full I couldn’t leave a message, emails bounced back to me etc.
      Clearly someone with organisational issues….
      Anyway an ADHD person can’t sit in a normal chair all day, that’s ridiculous.
      But I realised this morning that it wasn’t that I didn’t want kids. I just didn’t want kids with any of the men I was dating (or married to!) By the time I figured out guys, relationships, and me, I was out of time, biologically clock speaking.
      And I’m not sure I want to be a step mom either.
      Been there, done that. It hurts so much when you break up because you can’t hang out with their kids anymore!
      I’d consider adopting with the right person, and obviously if I meet someone’s kid and they’re adorable, I can’t help that.
      But settling period is just not on my list.

      Oh Rache, listen to or read “the cool girl” monologue in Gone Girl.
      If you haven’t seen the film, especially if you hate Ben Afflec or whatever he’s called it is definitely a film you should watch.
      And Fincher, Kronenburg, Pike, Flynn (who wrote the adaptation ) just a genius team.
      The other outstanding thing about the film is that the plot is entirely driven by strong women. The men feel superfluous.
      I won’t give any spoilers in case you’re in the one percent of humans in the first world who hasn’t seen it.
      Her character was the most inspiring since Lisbeth in GWTDT, way more nuanced than Linda Fiorentino in The Last Seduction and more frighteningly self aware than the Marvelous Jessica Jones 🙂
      I love JJ but her fuq buddy’s literal abs of steel are just pushing it for me. It is refreshing to see “a slob like me” as in drops her jeans on the floor goes to bed, picks them up off the floor only to put them back on. Come on, we’ve all done that once, more if we’re honest 🙂 and David Tenant is great as a villain too. In fact I’ve changed my ex crush / con artist/ wanker/ waster of my time for the past three years’s name on my phone and email address to Killgrave.
      🙂
      Anyway, don’t settle. And watch Gone Girl, if you haven’t xx

  2. This is wonderful! 😀
    I see elements in many Aqua’s I know.

    Still, the Aquarian I know best is in contra herself.
    Crowds? she loves ’em.
    Diet? don’t care, even if I have IBS.
    Political views? No time for that.
    Contrarian even unto herself.

  3. I have Aquarius Sun, Mars and Saturn all in the 12th house. At first I wanted to say Mystics low-down is just not true…but it is. All of it, however I’d just like to add that underneath, we are sensitive souls also. Or perhaps that’s just a 12th house thing.

  4. “Seeks devoted partner who won’t break my rhythm nor attempt to impose conventional expectations.”

    Ha, this feels right to me…..Aqua Sun, here!

    I do think I was dating an AI, the guy I go on about on here…..honestly, at times I thought he was a hybrid human/AI. He was a programmer, too…what is it about those guys? Something is different…..I think because they ‘talk’ to computers all day they become one. ‘Intel Inside’ instead of a heart….

    Anyway… I enjoyed this post, as I’m thinking of firing up the online dating again. I did so much of it last year……learned a lot, but it did get very ‘same-y’ after awhile and I got fed up and bored of it. It is like a game, takes on a life of its own after awhile, people lose the objective of finding an actual relationship and just go for all the hooking up.. Or, possibly most people are just on there with the objective to hook up and not find a real long term relationship.
    Around here (San Francisco), there’s a lot of polyamory going on, which one would think would be an Aquarian-vibe thing. I’m really not into that, but maybe I should give it a go, since most of the guys who I seem to have the most resonance with on those sites turn out to be polyamorous.
    Perhaps if I were an Aqua with more Aqua planets I could get into it more, but I’ve got Pisces moon and Crab rising.
    I read somewhere, though, about my Pisces Mars exact conjunct my MC, that that could mean a woman of 1000 husbands…….haha!
    I certainly have a ‘collection’ of guys in my life, though I’m not dating or sleeping with most of them. I have my large circle of gorgeous gay friends, and my endless stream of mostly straight, young eye-candy male housemates, for starters…….having all those guys around helps to sublimate my desires while I look for someone for myself, which at this point in my life I may never find. Sometimes I care about that and sometimes I don’t…….back to ‘being an Aqua’, I do like my independence, and lack of pressure to carry out gender roles..

    1. LOL my mom (married to my dad, programmer) always say that programmers think “differently” and that it’s hard for her to understand his binary thinking or logic process on human things. She and the other wives of engineers would always have that conversation and bond over dealing with their robot husbands over wine at parties. ^__^

      I am moving back to SF this week and dabbled in the online dating thing for like a week and a half around new years, I just could not handle it… everyone is polyamorous and that lifestyle just isn’t for me. It just seems so…exhausting, and sort of, uh, anti-Buddhist in a way. Like always seeking the next thing. It reminds me of this passage I highlighted in (extremely intense, genius) ballerina Gelsey Kirkland’s autobiography:

      “We were soon joined by two acquaintances of his, a foreign couple, maybe in their thirties. They talked about their philosophy of marriage as a convenient arrangement. They were evidently free spirits. I had no sympathy for their brand of low passion.”

      It’s really hard not to become extremely jaded and just turned off to men with how much ridiculous shit is going on right now… I ran into two guys online who said they like dating women in their 20s because they are “not complicated” and that as long as you act the part of the cool girl with no demands you’re included in their “lifestyle”. It’s so bizarre…like paying girls off to not include emotional investment in the relationship but also actually care? Another one told me that it makes no sense that I’m struggling in SF because I’m smart, so making money should be easy. 🙁 wtf. Have things gotten weirder since I’ve taken a year off from dating? Or just bad luck? Anyways, between all that and the thoughtless hookup-seeking copypasta I got scared off. #willbeacatladyby30

      1. Ah! All sounds par for the course, unfortunately. The fact that so many of us are having the same experience with online dating says something is up with it…. And what you’ve written, which is similar to what I’ve experienced, is the sort of unique insanity of the Bay Area style of online dating. Feels hopeless, doesn’t it?

        Someone told me that you find more ‘avoidant attachment types’ (from psychology’s ‘Attachment Theory’) in online dating, which makes sense, and I bet in the polyamory world, it’s even more chock full of avoidant attachment types.

        I thought it was just my age for awhile, but now I’ve talked to so many women your age who are having the same experience. It makes me more sad for you all, because you have your whole life ahead, still, and some may want children. What a nasty scene to have to navigate to find that….

        I *am* the cat lady, at 48 years old, except I have no cats. Cat lady….hmmm….more like a cougar these days, yet I dislike that term. If I’m going to have just a one-nighter, I generally go young, and am grateful that I still can…

        I dated a ton of guys over the past couple years who I mostly met online, and from these experiences, I’m pretty much done with the online thing now. It just doesn’t seem fruitful.
        A couple of the guys got in touch recently who I had hooked up with just once literally a year ago and never heard from them after that until now. Who does that?! The audacity! One of the guys is 29 and the other 45, so it’s not about age, it’s about mentality, and they all seem to have the same one.
        It’s like, I guess they had a good and memorable time with me enough to reach out a year later, but it’s also really lame and pathetic, because they disappeared for a year and then come around again like I’m ‘on call’ or something. Anyway, I didn’t respond to them…..bad precedent to set.

        Guys around here can’t seem to help themselves but treat women like free call girls most of the time. Like you said, they want you to fit into their ‘lifestyles’, but with no accountability to you…..they want their cake and eat it too. What woman really wants that?! …especially indefinitely?! Women sure put up with it around here, though, I’ve seen…

  5. Thanks Mystic for your Aqua example above. Just confirms what I have learned from a lifetime of relationships with women. That is that 90% have little or no idea of what would actually make them happy. They wouldn’t recognize their best mate if they fell over them and tend to have a list of attributes that they look for to fulfil fantasies before realities. It’s all self defeating confusion that leads to many women never being at peace, never feeling settled. In many it leads to a kind of unconscious hatred of men, a sadness that I see in many women’s eyes, that look and body language of someone who has lost touch with themselves.
    Knowing and loving yourself is step one, step two and three. That is the love that brings the right people at the right time to produce more love.
    Today I took my baby boy to start high school. He’s the last of 4 children to take that step. As I watched him walk excitedly up to the entrance I broke into tears. They were good tears. At that moment I saw me, his mother, his grand parents in every detail of his shape his demenour, his movement and I realized that everything about him, his very existence came about from those few precious moments of surrender. The moment his grand parents met, the moment I met his mother.
    None of us would have picked each other against a wish list, if that had been the criteria, this moment would never have occurred.

    1. !
      self awareness is king.

      I took that Aqua list to be written by a male, actually, lol. I didn’t connect that image at all.
      Maybe that’s my mars speaking 😉

    2. davidl,

      That is so rad what you observed, and big kudos for being brave enough to share that experience with strange/r MM blog cohorts.

      As for your observation on women and relationship check list – there’s some real issues with the female zeitgeist on men. I have this theory, but I’d need a year to research it properly and write a solid thesis.

      It’s not reserved to middle aged women, either.

      I had to tell the apple of my eye (Sarah 27) what she wanted in life, because she didn’t quite know.

      “I don’t know what I want?” Sarah snarked.

      “I know what you want.”

      “You want sovereignty. Sovereignty over your home, money, career, body, sex-life and choices.”

      “Yes, that’s what I want.” Sarah replied, after a lengthy pause.

      I can only assume that was why our paths crossed; for me to shed some light on hers. I knew it was karmic from the get-go. So sad I didn’t get to go there, though, so, so very sublime in the physical stakes. Not so sexy upstairs.

      Boo F^*k’n Hoo for me.

      I reckon sovereignty is what we all want – not just women. How many of us have it? Not many – if any.

      Damons.

    3. I concur with this view, sadly, having been one of those people. But the need for control stems from fear. A complete lack of belief that anyone could understand you, as so far no one has really tried. As usual, love is very healing, but even that can be misunderstood…

      1. Year of the Phoenix

        How I met my MAD CAP ex – nough said Skarab

        I have been dipping my toes into the Meet Up stream and like the kind of men I’ve been meeting there, and the whole set up seems more friendly and less fraught

  6. Just pretend it’s all some mildly amusing video game until you get a real bite i.e. several dates in the real world and an actual mutually settled-upon connection. People are on those sites for all kinds of reasons, some of which change from day to day, and they don’t owe it to random pictures on a screen to be consistent.

    1. Hey I was just going to say if a person who is evolving with lightening speed, like across all time, and everywhere and nowhere – truly tapped into the source then everything can appear fairly unpredictable to the outside audience…

      I’m not backing duplicity or unreliability (I have been definitely deemed detached, peverse, rebellious)…but as someone with uranus (conjunct pluto) opposite mars & chiron, with uranus square the moon, and uranus quincunx sun conjunct vesta in aquarius…my mind thinks constant change and challenge is mostly an opportunity to grow…so if you feel thrown off guard or tested maybe see it as new path…

    2. wow, think there was quite a bit of projection being let loose above. right from the start i agree with you. language has it’s meaning and if you aren’t interested say no. why use euphemism on a site where you haven’t met the person. sounds to me like she was annoying and messing you around and you weren’t stalking her and you were annoyed. and the same thing happens to women on dating sites and you know this and the conclusion is that dating sites are just these weird places that many reasonable people give up on.

      1. interestingly I was just thinking the other day that that campaign was flawed in that it seems to disallow that there are other ways to indicate non-consent, and they should be accepted just as unproblematically.

  7. Maybe she has a Gemini Moon?

    dude, you want help or you want to stay stuck where you are? How’s that workin out for ya?

    You’ve got wise women here offering you insights and you’re throwing up defences. I thought you were open to learning form rejection. You want to shift? This is an opportunity, but you have to be willing. I’m going to offer you my 2c and then my duty as a good Scorp is to order you into therapy or healing STAT.

    You sound more undateable with every reply. Granted I don’t have access to the whole story but your position seems worryingly fixed, your persistence (with her and here) slightly obsessive and demanding, verging on needy.

    Nobody has any obligation to communicate with you as per your expectations. I think it’s important that you get this. Moreover your expectations are unrealistic in the context. If you don’t like it walk away. Better, learn some code as Kell suggests and walk away with dignity.

    Lastly, just because her light is on(line) doesn’t mean ANYTHING. She might have left herself logged in and gone to the shops. She might have left herself logged in and gone out to fuq someone else, whatever.

    I want to introduce dating site economics analysis into the discussion. How do they make money? Members. Who are these members? Overwhelmingly, men. What do they want? Women, mostly. Are there women on the site? Not many. How do we keep the men paying? Convince them women are available. Therefore, they keep women’s “online” indicator on even when the women are not online so as to keep the men hopeful. Now THAT’s deception! (But again, just learn the code and be savvy)

    Or, she might be online and looking for someone else. Again, she’s allowed. My point is, you don’t know what’s happening but you’re assuming you do.

  8. This is probably not going to make you feel better, but this happens to women too. You don’t hear about it much because women don’t complain as much about this aspect. Also what can be done? Follow the guy around some more and keep trying to initiate contact and be called a stalker? Nope.
    I myself went out one time with an Aries who kept doing the yes-no thing to me too. It is just how people are today. Internet dating always makes you feel like you have more choices than you actually do. The advice I got from the public is just move on. He’s probably not into you. They are probably right. I don’t ask for more dates or even expect more dates from him.
    My feelings haven’t budged tho. I just silently accept where i am.

    1. language is a social construct and thus language is not fixed, language is a living, changing thing, but again, I don;t think you’re hooked on language use but behavioural conventions, and that = expectation. expectation ain’t your friend.

      1. This is right on. No, one is denying the chick lied. White lies are currently considered ok to do in this society under certain circumstances like internet dating. Sucks but it is true. How many people would tell their boss his/her haircut sucked if it did? Not many if the boss is a vain curmudgeon. If everyone told the 100% truth all the time, it could get awkward.

  9. Read it; thought oh not exactly, though i’m Venus in Aquarius, trine Uranus in Libra (Mutual Reception).

    Read it again and well, YES. Especially the (YAWN) breaking trend diets. Like, don’t you (a) know enough basic human biology; and (b) actually have an idea that you test on yourself from that knowledge, before anyone else suggests it for you?

    Except for Perfect Date: i am lots of Mutable so i don’t know what Perfect is until i’ve tried it (can the notion usually be surpassed?)

    And not certain i would limit myself to an occupation, nor to someone who thinks their political views are spectacular.

    Try having this Venus squared Saturn in Taurus 6th house. No patience for those who do not even function because they are so “out there”. Bloody ridiculous, i am, yet have had many marvellous partners. Humanity is not impossible; AI is yet too in its infancy, but maybe sometime.

    Then again, i have never had a list, actually.

      1. oh yes you are (interesting enough!) x

        I’d respond – if only to challenge their idea of a good date with a different date… what can i say, i am argumentative 😉

      2. 🙂

        yep the venus in aries welcomes an even-handed stoush 😉 push-up competitions, grudge match pool game, who can yell the loudest into an abyss, race to the fridge, arm wrestling <3, best date based on the discovery of the elements, etc hahahaha oh god this all makes me happy just thinking about it … LOL! thanks for the vibe boost 😀

        Days – epic rollercoaster
        yesterday was hell, the cap lingers and the heartache is insane
        but
        I decided not to "forget" him, this is ridiculous
        He is worth having in my life
        and i see future possibilities of this that are free from emo cling doom.
        SUCH intense motivation to make 2016 a year to get four to the floor
        and the High Priestess is appearing all over my tarot readings.
        and COINS everywhere, often when i ask about the cap (earth I guess?)
        Go higher, rise above, evolve in the deepest sense, werk babay, etc..

        xx

      3. ftr:
        what i am appreciating about this man’s presence in my psyche is the intense amount of self-development that is taking place as a result. And engaging “maximum non-attachment” as a way to appreciate him as a human being and what this is bringing to my existence, and not as a thing who must subject himself to my fears or desires (as much as I would like the desire part…maybe later on.. hehe)

      4. Yes the heart doesn’t respond to mental decisions. As long as u use Saturn, and I kno u will in how u behave and motivate, then u can soulmine this fwiw xxx

  10. I can experience a deep as one-on-one then go away for 12 months – with no further contact between said potential – decide I like her, then drop-in out of the blue and they’re like, WTF? I’m engaged ‘n shit.

    Recent Anecdote:

    There’s a girl I like stacks – Sarah – she’s real because we met one day at the beach an’ just talked. I posted an ad online looking for a possible flatmate; Sarah responded, instigating some face-time.

    It was perfect sunny morning in early spring- I asked her to take her sunnies off so I could scan her retinas (soul) – computed for six months then wrote a story about her – The Paper Doll – sent it in hot pursuit.

    Sarah – way younger than me, a porcelain-skin rusty-brunette Toro beauty with Hulk green eyes – informed me on New Years Eve over 18 months later (via sms) that she was dating. I fuquing lost it, had a cry, and thought ‘that’s what’s you get when you live in your head ninety-nine percent of the time, idiot’.

    Meanwhile, I’m surrounded by wealthy, on the wrong side of middle aged, yoga loving, tree hugging, late 80’s Euro shit-box driving faux Buddhist single ladies that haven’t had a date in a decade. I cringe at the slightest advance, but may cave soon.

    Sarah says I’m a cold hearted diabolical creature with a genteel exterior demeanour that I employ to lure potentials into a sticky web. The bit that hurts is when Sarah said, ” I’m so attracted to you, but I’m equally repulsed”.

    This woman is so non-needy; I’m in love with the thought of her.

    P.S. The internet was invented for stalking. Dating sites are no different. Tragic, voyeuristic, unreal, advertising aspects of person’s self.

    Damons (Aqua Sun). 44, single, straight, childless, no ink, non-smoker on the Sunny Coast.

    Interests: surfing, writing, old Land Rovers.

    Crepuscular, indeed.

    Wanna date? It won’t be dinner and a movie.

    1. Peronally, as a Jupiter in Sag i ADORE and NEED dinner; and as a 12th and 5th houser do also adore movies; but the idea of both together is quite boxy. I tend to derail those plans without meaning to.

      So, anyway, no date here but i did super enjoy your descriptions 🙂

      Especially of the faux buddhist single ladies. Not living there now but did for many years. Don’t you dare cave! You’ll hate the shit out of it! You know, a person can be a living dating-site version of a person because they have no other self.

    2. Hahhah! So funny. I resemble your remark about the wrong side of middle aged yoga loving tree hugging late 80’s euro shit box driving faux buddhist single ladies that haven’t had a date in a decade. Except that i was only raised an actual buddhist…..

      1. Oh how funny and miserable, I could have been one of those people described except I’d say not b/c I was raised in part as an actual budhist too (one parent is budhist, but now in denial), tree hugging – is that supposed to mean spiritual, ecological? No pretensions on cars, married and not dating, but think its hysterical there’s a ready stereotype…

        Whats the right side of middle age? My husband is younger than me, in mid mid forties, but I always fell for people much older than me! I do have venus in capricorn, and saturn cusp the 7/8th, and moon in the 10th…

      2. I just find it hilarious as OP says they are 44. Are they not middle aged themselves as 44 is half of 88 y.o. Which is more than avg life expectancy? I’m so curious.

      3. It is ironic I agree. I am ageless in some ways – to my detriment, and older in others I wish I was not. We could all be more pleased with the youthfulness inside ourselves.

        I have jupiter on my ascendant 12th, opposite retrograde mercury…shocking, like technicolour misty lenses permanently present lol…fantasy better than reality, dreams, visions a huge part of my existence…

    3. That sounds like emotional torture; I have little idea how anyone would solve your predicament! I wouldn’t be drawn into anything other than what was deserving of me or the person you dream of, so be resolute! Try not to dither or mope, keep busy, moving!

      Oh and why do you need to scan a retina? My naturopath did this for health reasons but when I fell in love it was involuntary, the other person just looked into me, that was it!

      1. “Looked into me”

        Wow.. it’s like that isn’t it “INTO” and THROUGH”

        Only ever happened to me once in my life with someone I loved dearly.

        Would love to have that feeling again

      2. INTO & THROUGH – Yes!!! Please tell me…

        1. Did you run for your life?
        2. Did you feel “safe”

        So I was afraid, as obviously this does not happen everyday, ran, cut him off and regret it. See mystic’s post on aquarian dating / honestly lol. He absolutely knows (all anyway). He is very clever, intense…so careful, polite, and barely controlled. I am sorry.

        It was mutual, a collision; yes universe on the other side explains all, thank you.

      3. run? Are you kidding. No way!
        I’m a Scorp with a packed 8th house and although my Uranus sq moon in Sagg tends to run for the hills I didn’t want to with him.

        We were already in a relationship. It was beautiful and yes, i felt completely safe. 🙂 Only time i ever have. I trusted him from day one and as a Scorp I don’t give that away or my heart that easily.

        He was a Virgo (catnip for my Mars in Virgo) moon in Aqua and Aqua rising. Super smart, handsome, gorgeous blue eyes,
        funny, interesting. A truly amazing human and person. Can’t think of a single bad thing to say about him.

        He was the only person I’ve ever wanted to spend the rest of my life with but sadly it only lasted 2 years. Best 2 years of my life though. Feel blessed to have had that even if I never have it again. 🙂

      4. Oh wow, your so brave! What a lovely thing you realised this. Of course, scorpio!!! My God I’d love to have courage to reciprocate. It was poor timing, even though I was fairly ill, unhappy I didnt think I should break my marriage. I know this man is very real, but it so unnerving – that a person can know all of you, with so little need for words, there’s no hiding, no space or corner for cover, but I am freer because of knowing him, but the pain – for both of us…of course he’s just wonderful…honest, direct, free in nature. I feel I let him down because I was scared. I should have told the truth.

      5. oh no, not worth breaking up your marriage over it.

        Just appreciate the moment I guess.
        Intensity never lasts.

        Whats that saying? some people are with us for a short time and others a long time….

      6. anyway, I wasn’t brave or courageous. It was pure and real and honest and it just happened. There was no time to think how to act. Just be.

        If you felt unnerved maybe its because you have a partner already and it wasn’t meant to be

      7. Yes, I was unnerved, miserable yes, with a partner, strangely partner is kinder to me than ever before, so I agree, better to be decent, clean with it all.

  11. ramzilla scorpin'

    I have a hard time processing the amount of hate this kataka is getting. Granted, I haven’t hung out on dating sides (my scorp rising pales + balks at the very idea of revealing shit online for the sole purpose of dating – I’d much rather just go outside and look someone in the eyes)… but I BET if it had been a woman geting the yes-no-yes everyone would be outraged about the guy’s lies. But suddenly it’s ok because it’s a man?
    In my experience with Kataka men they are just a very emotional sort (sorry for the generalisation) dude on top of things explained he had not met a lot of unattatched women in the last couple of years. It shows a bit. But really, what happened to educate, not berate?
    He probably comes with baggage, as we all do. (Get real)
    And with being br ought up in a society with screwed up values. Don’t attack, explain, and for gods sake, don’t project any shitty dating site experience screeching onto every poor dude who comes out and just wants to share a story that apparently moved him enough to want to share it for sympathy and a little laugh (it sounds a bit wounded and self depreceating, no? that’s a kataka crossing his arms in front of the chest and pouting, and I think that is fine.)
    Sheesh.

    1. I am glad PD is now in a more populated place where he can meet and talk to people face to face. It’s healthier all around. I read his comment as someone who agreed to a date and had it set up, then cancelled, then set up another, then backed out again. That is misleading and very confusing to anyone who thought they had a date agreement. I don’t blame PF for feeling frustrated.

      PF you dodged a bullet. You escaped wasting your time with someone not adult enough to say “no” to begin with, nor “no thank you I changed my mind” the second time she agreed to a date. You (and anyone else who is in dating mode) deserve to connect with an adult who respects themselves enough to set boundaries and respects other’s time and emotional investment…

      Good luck and I hope that the dating situ improves for you PF. Dating can be hell while looking for a deep connection but be patient and loving to yourself and your beacon will shine for others who vibe your vibe. That’s when the magic happen. Hugs to you.

      1. Yes – to everything you say Vikingwoman. I was just responding along the same lines – but you’ve said it all far better than i could have.

        And PF – don’t let the turkeys keep you down.

    2. Like they say in Oz “Yeah…no.”

      FACT – they never went on a date.

      FYI A guy I liked, who I knew IN PERSON, who flirted intensely back, said he’d call during during this past summer break. He never called. Did I stalk his internet? Did I send him messages “calling him on his BS?” Nope. I accept folks can have a change of heart – or be talkers, lol. Was I disappointed? Sure. But will I emotionally or verbally abuse the person because I didn’t get what I want? Nope.

      I think making excuses for toxic shit is counter-productive and is far from compassionate – it’s enabling ego.

      Best advice EVER from MM – keep it haute. Fuck the low – it’s gotta go.

      Standards, folks – gotta keep the standards.

  12. Sorry to say but this is why I stay clear of online dating ESP. in Australia. Too many “nice guys” here are anything but. The profiles have zero depth and the conversations are one-sided. If I type in interests, movies etc nothng turns up in Australia but thousand’s in the States. There are low vibration guys everywhere but the antagonism evident in your post is out of whack for someone with zero relationship with someone. You have NO idea how many men feel entitled to woman – but your post reeks of it. No snark, but I think you need mirror time not dating time right now. There is a lot of bitter and vitriol in your vibe. Been there myself, which is why I can recognize it.

    Good luck.

    1. P.S. She said looking for men – not you. Options – these sites are to vet out and you were vetted. Clinging to the “looking for men” exposes low and obstinant vibes. The need to be justified in meanness – bad vibe for potential relationships, dude…

  13. Me…8th house Aquarian/ scorpio moon.
    I agree with most of that list.

    Not sure about the “love of humanity” call. I do love acts of humanity but humanity in general are a disappointing bunch.

    Politically positioned about dead centre.Religious extremism and political extremism to the left or right is what’s wrong with the world IMO.
    Extremism should be confined to art , entertainment and recreation.

      1. I had an epiphany about this – venus in is 5th (house of leo!) and north node / saturn 8th (hoise of scorpio), it makes sense!

      2. interesting! I have a 5h Venus as well, which might explain it some…although I can’t figure out the Aqua thing. I think it’s just I feel calm with those people – like we’re on an energetic wavelength

      3. lol, I read in an astrology book 5th house venus is all charm…magnanimous, etc…

        What is your 11th house? Do you have any aqua planets?

        I am so very uranian…too much so. But the earth venus is practical…

      4. nope, nothing in aqua or in the 11th house unless you look at the Solar chart and then Pluto and the SN are conjunct there. BUT – OK!!!! penny drop! I have Uranus conjunct Venus 🙂 d’oh!

        Far out, it’s funny how you stare at a chart dat in day out and then only just realise things that have been there for years – eg. when I was looking to answer your question I realised I have Uranus transiting the 11H squaring Pluto in the 8H, both at home.

        and definitely magnanimous and charming, how about you? lol 😉

  14. Um, more like Cancer guys finish BITTER.

    do you know how assaulted with messages women are on dating sites? Even after having a couple nice chats with a guy, the sheer daily influx of messages that women get from men is staggering and buries the nice communiques until they fade from memory. Even after a nice chat, it’s usually easier to ghost rather than take the time to analyze and thoughtfully write out why there doesn’t seem to be enough chemistry. If I did that for every guy I talked to online, I wouldn’t have time to take care of my real life friends, family, cooking, job. I usually try to be up front and say we’re too different if that’s true, but even then I get told I’m shallow for turning men down based on moral differences not looks. I get demeaned and yelled at constantly, until my entire Pavlovian response to going on the site is panic and dread at all the men I don’t know who are going to say awful things to me.

    So I go back on the dating site to answer more profile questions with the hope that less compatible guys will steer clear. and out of all the men I’ve talked to this week, I ended up getting along instantly and famously with the LAST one I encountered who made me forget the by-the-book pleasantries of everyone else. so if you got randomly dropped, you just weren’t the right person. It’s not incongruous, it’s life. Sorry, dude. I get that the constant rejection isn’t fun for men, but being aggressively pursued by a ton of horny dudes is pretty fuqqing awful too. Grow up.

      1. What a great article! Very funny indeed. I read it just in case there were tips that applied to women. Nope.

    1. ***My god I can’t even get through the car park without exchanging erotic eye contact, smiles or curious glances to the other (usually much older) sex, my feet feel like they are often being dragged by a current – good thing I’m not dating or on a website! I’m safe because my child is pulling me away!

      aqua sun conjunct vesta
      Mars chiron pisces 7th, opposite uranus / pluto, trine scorpio neptune 3rd, capricorn venus (conunct transiitng pluto /mercury)

      1. Rest assured? Hmmm…. I’m primarily straight but I’ve changed my online profile back and forth between looking for men exclusively and looking for both men AND women. Unless someone was legit stalking my online activity and refreshing my profile page, they wouldn’t have noticed a few minutes where my “Looking for” changed…

        In any case, maybe she found someone she liked talking to who was more curious than mad about her existential crisis. Who knows? 🙂

      1. Yep, your dreams are actually a road map in disguise…so good thing you actually are addressing it. Although, lol, I must admit I am bewildered with mine…

    1. Taurean Love Expert

      Well, clearly the two of you have different views on semantics, so would not enjoy your date, anyway. People flake out, that’s life. It’s tough to feel like someone is playing games with you, but women are socialised into being indirect with men (for reasons outlines in Louis CK’s excellent video on dating… worth a Google) And what Pi said…

    2. I should bloody well hope you “never called her on her daily activity on the site” – you’re not married. She can do whatever she wants. last time i was on one of those sites i could not believe the amount of men who would berate me for not having responded to their message quickly enough or saying things like “i see you have been on this site but did not have the common courtesy to xxxx” And the obvious thought is if this is how the guy acts in a “wooing” situation what the hell kind of fuqery would go down once they took you for granted. Question: Do women do this to men on dating sites? Like, tell them off for not responding etc or go after the guys who stop interacting?

      1. Taurean Love Expert

        Whatever reason she gave, she said no, and then you followed her around the site to check on her. If you did that to me after I’d said no thank you to a date, I would honestly feel like I had dodged a bullet.

      2. Powder finger I get what your saying and I reckon she had some baggage probably still in love with another but trying to get out there and when it came to crunch time should couldn’t do it, …Or you were not enough like her ex.. Just a thought. But my experiencewith online dating is everyone seems to be trying to get over someone.

      3. MM,
        Yes, women do this too. I know great women who will do this sometimes, even if it is not their normal behavior, given a trigger of some sort.

        I have virtually no experience on online meeting and that was so many years ago. I did not experience this or do this.

        I can look back and realize I have done/said/etc things with people I have met or dated and I seriously wonder WTF!!! But I was in bad/weird/damaged place. I did pay attention though, learned from my experiences and moved on.

        There are people who will say yes, may seem so eager even, delighted and thrilled. Oh yes, not just yes, Then bam, they vanish. It hurts to get hopes up, feel excited, whatever, then feel the drop. It is okay to process this. Process then move on.

        I would not get so upset about some one I had not even met yet though.

    3. Dude you are absolutely terrifying to me just quietly. Absolutely terrifying, aggressive, entitled. I’m not saying that to be harsh, honestly. Sort it out. You will get NOWHERE with this attitude. If I were this woman and I thought you knew even vaguely where I lived I would get six rottweilers and then also move to Greenland. Its kind of important for you to understand this. Women changing their minds is a thing that happens, she owed you nothing. If its not happening its not happening, nothing more. FYI nothing is hotter than a guy who isn’t angry and demanding.

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