Psychic Looper

Time is not linear and nor are you. Didn’t Einstein prove that? The spiralling quantum nature of time is never more evident than in what I call Psychic Looper moments.

One of my lovely Mega Mystic members sent this to me regarding the Mars-Pluto intensity that dominated last week’s horoscopes: And interestingly, I am having so much more compassion for my younger, more intense, seeking, often lost, pressure cookered self having to navigate through this kind of vibe on a near-permanent basis.

This sparked a theory I have on and off.  Compassion for your younger self and the mistakes or choices you made once upon a time, is a key tenet of sagacity. Or at least serenity.

You retain the ability to feel remorse where appropriate. Of course, there are some things that you would do differently given your time over. But there is no place for damp regret or toxic shame.

But what if there is more to it than that? If this very process is somehow responsible, via some time/dark matter/quintessence* type morph, for those “everything is going to be okay” flashes of benevolence and nurturing you sometimes feel amid difficult times?

You are your own angel.

Quintessence, if you don’t know, is what the Ancient Greeks and Romans called the so-called 5th element. Qi to the Taoists, Dark Matter/Dark Energy to contemporary scientists.

Time is not linear, and psychic looper theory (my hypothesis) means that present-day consciousness shifts or power gains can influence you in the past.

Symbology, of course, exists outside of time. In our dreamscape, we roam cities and secret roads that no longer exist. Or at least, not in this dimension.

Thoughts?

51 thoughts on “Psychic Looper”

  1. “And interestingly having so much more compassion for my younger, more intense, seeking, often lost, pressure cookered self having to navigate through this kind of vibe on a near permanent basis.” Oh, this explains my 20s, so well put! And the exact process I’ve gone through in the past 2 weeks. It’s weird because as much as I’ve thought about the things that happened over the years, I never thought to give myself compassion. I was so hard on myself and my young person choices. And then in the past two weeks, with Mars conjuncting Pluto in my 12th, it finally occurred to me that I could forgive my young self, in her innocence she didn’t know any better than to do what she did. It’s interesting how those insights just click in the right time and place even when you have read the words over and over again, and intellectually know how you should have self-compassion. It really takes the right moment. And I have been doing a lot of self-work so perhaps I just finally came to the astrologically synchronistic tipping point.

  2. Working with inner child stuff, lately, really rough time last week, only slightly dissipating this week because I’m so tired. Got really drunk….yep, not good…..on Saturday, sleeping all day yesterday, but when awake in an existential crisis, and I do get this message in my mind, ‘this too shall pass’, and ‘everything will be ok’, but I don’t know if it’s coming from my future self, I always just think it’s guardian angels, or maybe it is some part of my own life force that is helping me to carry on, to survive, like, ‘come on, keep going, don’t give up…’ I have a very strong willpower and life force and I think for some reason I beat it down sometimes through alcohol use…..so weird……anyway,
    Some part of myself calls out for help in these situations, and it always comes, but in ways I wouldn’t expect. I have to be tuned into the ‘signs’ and kind of go with the flow….like, today, responding to one email sent me to another person’s website and there was a very helpful video there that talked about failure, and re-framing failure and that failure is acceptable, it’s how we handle it that can make us miserable or can help us grow.

    Love you guys! xx

    1. Oh, and then there’s the proverbial “it will all be ok in the end, if it’s not ok, it’s not the end..” Sometimes I find this comforting, but it also puts me on edge, like, so then how long is this going to take..?

  3. Yes, this. I wrote a beautiful piece about it that was on a Tumblr for all these spiritual awakenings I was having 2007/8/9… I deleted it in January. Part of the trauma therapy is active imagining of my past selves and putting them in safe places, rescuing them and making everything all right. I learn about who I am without the layers of trauma. The sweet caring strong teen I could have been–and that I am in some timeline.

    And then for future selves–my future self said “FINALLY!” when I sent energy to connect with her over this project that has been challenging me for the past nine months. (Yes, quite a baby–but NOT a baby.) It was really quite palpable the relief she felt to get my present moment love and support and awareness. I’ll try not to forget that.

    Love learning other’s experiences and insights about this.

  4. Mystic, thank you for my real live tangible “Pimp Your Pluto Transit” book!!

    Scorp Asc and stellium- saw-heard shame, guilt, secrets including my own and felt terribly guilty and freaked about it- Gem 7th Mars square Virgo 10th Pluto. It’s like reading thought bubbles over people when they are saying something utterly different.

    But compassion, – and forgiveness- like haute Jupiter-Neptune (are conjunct in Scorp 12th) eased the WTF factor. Trauma healing is my main focus- as trauma informs everything- creates that survival mode- and resonates for years until released.

    Wishing everyone deep healing past present future-

    Yes to self empowered healing!!

    Dead-headed the perennials yesterday- weather soon turns. Happy Hallows Eve!

  5. Hey so I am really consumed by kataka vibe right now. It’s complicated (not really) but being mercury ruled and a pisces (Mystic once wrote, “A pisces who can talk to a police office without giggling is a pisces on the verge of organising a lecture tour to share the secrets of their success” – which at 21 years old i LOL’d at and have obviously never forgotten although now I question whether every time I feel like I have mastered something that feels as complex as the wave-particle duality theorem I worry that all others are actually perceiving is some kind of Awakenings tennis-ball catch situation… anyway where was i.. ) .. oh yes so being a verbose pisces i worry that this is all “duh” to others. but anyway. since this post is about the past and I am procrastinating hard, my latest Kataka musing is that The Past Matters because it feeds everything that exists today. Today is a chimera, a thin cellular layer that exists on everything that has gone before. What good is memory if there is nothing to remember.
    Also, I am obsessed with comfortable clothing. soft fluffy socks. No seams digging in. thick, luxurious stretch fabrics (does luxe jersey make a comeback when some planet is transiting kataka?). legwarmers. Basically any 1980s american dance film. IS this katakan fahrshorn? tell me.

    anyway sorry if i sound insane right now, it’s because I actually am xx

  6. Absolutely! I like to do metta meditation for my past, present, and future selves. I apologize to my future self for my mistakes and nurture my past self. The voice I heard telling me I could get through things was always my own, but not my own of that moment.

  7. Too tired, bone and soul tired, to say much. Transit Mars and Pluto opposite my natal sun.

    My son who has Mars and Pluto conjunction natally might have gotten robbed by friends. They deny it. Large drama, no proof. I got dragged into it. They are punks but are they theiifs? Not friends though, that is clear. The current Mars and Pluto conjunction is in his first house.

    It is also in my other son’s first house. He is far away at college and LOVING it.

  8. I can’t believe I am reading this – YES!!! And, MM, are you a psychic?
    This has been my topic for at least 4 months now, It comes up on practically every level of my daily life. I actually felt the urge to write a short story about that the other day (basically my now-self helping my childhood-self).

    Now this Mars/Pluto business was really a shocker and came out of nowhere – it was really in amazement of how bad it was, and I am not a Pluto newbie. But this morning, The Tower! I have lost everything, and I am not using this lightly, and as it seems not even my health. Making matters worse, right now I am in a place (actual, geographic) where I don’t know anyone and have no-one to talk to (and I don’t want to worry people who are far away).

    So what happened when I realized that I have to start over, no house, no job,no money, so literally with nothing but two suitcases and a plane ticket at over 40?-
    I was thrilled! All of a sudden something, or someone, told me: you are going to thrive through this like you never have before! And I immediately found the courage to face this and fight this.

  9. Like having compassion for choices you made then, in a past context, fueling your present day transformation? Hell yes. I believe it is the foundation of Resilience, that self-compassion.

  10. I´ve always been curious about this.

    One of the first occult books I ever read was on greek diety based witchcraft and it was really pushing this idea. It was the first time I had ever encountered such ideology.

    Then I encountered regressional work and there was a lot of going through your timeline so to speak. That time can be as one as suggested. Again, seemed kind of crazy but wtf did I know about science?

    Then I remembered when I was quite young and feeling extremely alone, I would sometimes imagine my older self coming to visit me and sit on my bed and tell me about all the cool shit I was going to do and see when I was older. That I would have a totally different life, people would love me and I would be happy. I would always be in my mid 20s and have great hair and clothes.

    Part of the work was having to visit a younger self and comfort them, wrap them in a ball of light yada yada. I wondered if I this was actually real or a giant coincidence.

    In terms of shifting your previous energetic self it makes sense if something is buried from so long ago but still causing shit you can amend it when the source is identified and the loop is fixed.

    I´ve certainly had dark times since and had no older self come to comfort me or dead relatives or anything whatsoever, just from then. I think it´s because how I am now is really defining my future. It´s an interesting concept.

  11. I agree with this a lot, Mystic. It’s so on time, too! I have been having constant memories of scenarios gone by that are underlined by shame and regret- painful! As a scorp with 7 planets in scorp, it’s like my physical body is burned inside by the intensity of feeling and I often will psi ally wiggle or squirm to “shake it off” (as mentioned above). Retroactive self compassion seems the only way, and it takes a ton of courage (for me) and Id like to do it more often. Also this: if I’m nervous to talk to someone or I’m having a conflict, I put both of us at innocent age 4 in my minds eye discussing the issue at hand- boy they are simple, honest, transparent!!! A very sweet exercise and hopefully helpful to others. Thank you.

  12. As i like to say to my friends, you can’t write a story if nothing bad ever happens to the protagonist. Live your life like a cool book! Then other days i beg for less a less exciting storyline,

  13. Interesting…. I am so tired of beating myself up because of my past. I was trying to survive without family and did some things I am not happy about, worried whoever knows, how they see me now and how do I recover from that? It has been in the works since 2009.

    This passed week I posted Taylor Swifts song “Shake it off” with a comment saying “It’s gonna be alright”…. a line in her song.

    As I said to a HS friend last month, “I am all alone”…. family is disconnected, my Mom is ill and doesn’t know who I am and my Dad said to me in a conversation not long ago “Stay in touch with your brothers”….. tears started. I couldn’t speak. He says “are you with me”…. Of course. He says “if I am not here you have your brothers”…..

    It sucks. How will I find someone to be in my life that I want to have in my life. I am not going to settle.

    I’m a Virgo sun molded as an independent warrior.

    God Speed!!

  14. There are no mistakes , only experiments -Miles Davis
    Self compassion is really difficult sometimes. My old spiritual medicine teacher used to ask us to affirm “I accept myself beyond loving myself” i.e. accept where I am right now. And she also used to say “We are all young and only learning” this is when she was 85 by the way,
    Recently I met a friend who came on a Vision Quest retreat in France I was running , she was minding the children (though a great craftswoman in her own right). It all went pear shaped as the owner of the permaculture farm we went to turned out to be totally nuts (threatening people with a kitchen knife) and we ended up on a campsite on “les vacances ” making ourselves ill with cocktails..I was feeling a bit bad about it and she said “I wouldn’t have missed it for the world” and went on to explain how it was a life changer for her and how she now runs her own very successful business all due to that crazy break..talk abut reframing! Often what we think are our weaknesses are our greatest strengths xxx

  15. I love the dark matter / energy = qi thing. Nice theory. Seems to make sense. Something humans can feel but science can’t detect try as hard as it might…so far, anyway. In public open science anyway. So then all living things have a dark matter attractor / machine / network in them. The signal line is dark matter/ energy. And so the various astral bodies and soul are somehow also dark matter / energy. Which at some point also equals or is expressed as light — since light bodies / beings and all. Very interesting to think this dark matter/ energy = qi. Of course — it could also just be a useful blanket term to include all things mysterious to public open science now…but…seems probably there are connections.

  16. Interesting…I have recently been accessing my childhood self through rediscovering activities that helped me deal with stress/unsafe living situs when I was young. We kind of talk to each other, that kid and I. She was pretty wise although she didn’t know it. She was also amazingly tough, and resilient. She had her eyes on getting out, all the time.

    1. I know, these are my pre-dawn reading fodder, so funny. I just read an Ask Mystic from 2012 that started
      ““Hi Mystic,
      Okay, so first off, I promised myself I wouldn’t write to you, as I know you have an insane workload and are harassed by crazies more than someone working in a mental hospital, but it’s either you or my love interest, so I’m sorry, I picked you.”
      Hahahha

  17. Actually this is a play idea i had as i processed dealing with my birth mother adoption issue.

    When i was very small, i imagined i saw my 18 year old self sitting on the couch in my living room. I visualized this future me. I wondered who this future me would be like.

    I had an abusive childhood…sexual abuse and bullying were constant. My vision of my future self kept me going.

    My birth mother just can’t handle admitting that she had a second daughter she placed for adoption. Confrontation would not be helpful. All my half siblings are reunited except for me. Ironically, from what i learned, my birth mother’s experience is not that different than my own…and i could do a lot on healing her. By contemplating this form of time travel, this play idea come to me.

    I do believe our future selves heal our younger selves…and vice versa. This last two years..as Pluto transists my 12th house and ive had to experience agonizing loss, death, i had to “remember who i am” and talk to my resilient young self and remind myself of the strength and anti fragile nature of my being.
    One concern, however, is my children and husband live in an emotionally safe home…their resilence is not being developed the way i was..out of constant abuse and subject to ridicule. I dont know how to nurture their resilence while they live in a supportive loving home.

    1. Resilience can be built in other ways, not just from ridicule and not having all your needs met. I had a crap time as a kid and it was only when I started hanging out with a particular friend who is so well balanced, so loved by his family, that I started to see the difference between my experience and his. He wanted to pursue music professionally, his parents paid for half of his Gibson and believed in him, showed up to his gigs. I thought ‘I would love that’. There is no jealousy there though. I just made him a study in what I would like to be. His philosophy is simple: don’t be a c***. He is a very resilient person, because he has been raised to spot when someone is being one, because of the stark comparison between them and the behaviour of his own family. He is so skilled at avoiding and evading toxic people that you might be forgiven for thinking that he never meets any, never has bad encounters and leads a charmed life. You would be wrong. He just knows when behaviour is bad and calls it. That, too, is resilience. He doesn’t have the self-questioning struggle that you or I might have (is it me, did I say something, was I paranoid, is it my fears talking blah blah blah). You know? None of that with him, he is very firm on what’s who and I love it, he calls me out on shit all the time and he’s spot on.
      He is very healing that way, I know if he speaks up I should listen.

      Could be that your kids do this naturally because of you. All I would say is give them a firm grounding and age appropriate access to info on narcissists and other toxics, the message that sometimes other people are horrible…just because.

      1. He was also the first to point out to me that I was being abused by my family. I was 39 at the time, he was 23. It hit me like a train. maybe your kids will be the light for someone.

      2. I feel so much for commenters here where so many of you have had such difficult and traumatic pasts. I can’t possibly imagine what this was like or put myself in your shoes. At the same time I would like to add my agreement that resilience and healthy responses to the world can be built in many ways other than the very hard way. like above < 3

      3. Vikingwoman is correct though, and my shrink said the same thing. It is a spur to achievement. My achievement isn’t material things and career. I think the achievement of my life is recognising abuse, getting very angry, cutting them off, grieving them, recognising learned behaviours where I was a bitch to people too, grieving that, and…. (not totally there yet) forgiving them,(family) forgiving myself, forgiving the situation, helping other people in similar situations, marvelling at despite all I have not become a monster myself.

        That is my life path and purpose. It is so clear in the Astro, the more I understand my chart the more I think it is so big and so obvious, I could not have had better Astro, I chose this life and this incarnation, I have a big fricking neon coloured arrow with flashing lights on in my chart saying “Do this”. I also think I was a total bastard in a previous life. A controlling mother, which is why I keep meeting them, over and over and over.

        All other things are incidental. Thanks for your kind words Pi.

      4. it is true and you’re right – recognising the chart (and family chart) patterns is a biggie. Like you I think I might have been reaping some karma in this life. Emotional abandonment is a theme too, and source of ongoing self inquiry (this kataka moon is nice for that work). There was some kind of hubris-related downfall maybe. Interesting. but the patterns of living like you say, definitely. And, learning where the dragons are sleeping. x

      5. I agree, My default was slow burning rage for years and it motivated a lot of action. Comfort = laziness for most people

        and yes, there is a lot of power in having clearly defined achievement outside of material goals x

      6. when you ask ‘how do we choose what happens to us’ are you asking in the context of hellish childhood, and how could one possibly choose that, or are you asking in the context of present-day agency?

      7. my thoughts and feelings for little ones experiences are “people are assholes who know not what they do” and for grown-ups, it is a combination of embracing meaninglessness, rather than seeking meaning, and genuinely taking to heart the phrase, “fuq the lot of ya’s”, and also asking oneself, “what’s the worst that could happen? if X, if y, if Z. ”
        plus some other stuff but yeah. #piscessolutions
        good luck

      8. I think the cardinals are having a crazy time and have been for a while. Uranus in Aries, Pluto in Capricorn, and who can forget the Saturn trip through Libra, I can’t, and he’s going to be joining Pluto next year, woo! Squares and oppositions all over the shop. I’ve got my Saturn in Cancer and the last few years I’ve had Pluto opposing it and squaring itself in Libra. But it was all the early degrees so it has moved off now, but you are having more yet to come. I think if I can offer anything to your cardinal soul it is that we are the ideas-generators, often ahead of the game. I don’t know if you feel any resonance with this, but I have become really freaking tired of being the ideas man all the time. It is time to go a bit solo and let the fixed signs implement them and the mutable to transmute them. Me? I’m going camping, yes it is the winter and no, I don’t care. Some other person can figure out where we live next and do the admin (nudge nudge mutable husband).

      9. it’s really fuqing intense right now. the whole past 3-4 years is being drawn through the eye of the needle. like leaving a planet you’ve been living on and the G-forces on the takeoff are like WTF but also the view of everything whoa

      10. I think that regardless of the search for meaning (which I do like from time to time), to attempt to apply some kind of soul-path thing to childhood trauma is mega fukt and is also damaging, for the most part. we certainly ‘learn’ things about ourselves and others but to presume any further than that is a path to be v v carefully trodden i believe..

      11. realising this contradicts some stuff but there are degrees of stuff here and others know better than me.

      12. them planets. an existential challenge to Self. Courageously drawn to deeply transformative relationships and creative endeavours. Let’s not forget that this is virgo, the sign of nurses, and finding workable solutions to take us from chaos to order (libra). Maybe with all your katakan emotional awareness your gift is to use the powers of analysis and sensitivity that you have learnt the hardest ways and you one of the torch-bearers for the broken ones.

      13. hey PF maybe as a moon-person the progressed moon is a thing for you. Maybe lookig where your progressed moon was at pivotal times in yoof might be a thing for you. I imagine that progresed moon over the virgo stellium might be something. hope this is not too intrusive r presumptuous. this is never intended.

      14. Uranus opposed my Sun- is now opp my Merc. Seeing effects of fleeting media posts- the bigger picture vs instant grace, crash and burns. Pluto squaring Sun and Venus. Loving Jupiter- but it all feels momentous.

    2. vikingwoman their resilience will come from having that safe and supportive place of love you are providing to fall back on in their minds when things get rough. Knowing you are loved and cared for gives ultimate resilience.

  18. Big believer in time travel in this regard – you can ask your future self for advice in meditation or automatic writing – and alternatively go into past scenarios as present self and re create the “scene” as you wish it would have gone – this is quantum and many new healing modalities are taking root on this premise –
    I’m also aligning with the traditions that reveal our guides/angels are ourself in aspects of our selves in other dimensions/times/realities who may have more knowledge re the holistic connections between the “selves”

    This is high vibe illumination of the depth of Scorpio truly. And Lilith there too bringing in this magick in a practical useful way now.

    1. Yes! This is my experience, lifelong. In past ten years or so I became conscious of the dynamic, somewhat able to define it, certainly able to ‘work’ with it more fluidly and try things out, with much more to learn. The Lilith association is brilliant – thank you for sharing that!

      I haven’t searched much around this topic, yet it truly informed some of my most important childhood experiences, then felt like ‘coming home’ when I had aha moments around it as an adult. So glad to have this to contemplate and would welcome any more resources or ideas around it.

      Love and light and many thanks~!

  19. The everything is going to be ok thing, yes.
    I get that after an entreaty to other-side dad to pls help me out here – when I’m really really stuck. That feeling is often what it takes to pull through the awfulness. These days too I send that vibe back to my past self as you mentioned MM – don’t know, I feel better doing it. Having trouble forgiving myself for a romantic misstep last year, I’m still not sure how to resolve that one.

    1. having said that (about the misstep), it was the catalyst for some enormous personal development / understandings – my regret was so strong, sad, powerful and overwhelming I thought this is not normal, and utterly paralyzing… I sent myself to therapy (finally) to try and work out what was going on. So this guy was definitely the trigger for a wave of very deep relationship awareness revelations about early life impacts on how I trust (or don’t trust) relationships. This is why I think maybe he had something conjunct my libra pluto IC. *exhales* I’ll always have that, I guess… /runner up prize

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