How To Identify A Qi Vampire

How do you identify an Energy Vampire?

That is, as opposed to an vexatious character or big-aura type who takes up a lot of bandwidth? Friends or family members can have phases when they’re extra needy or demanding but they don’t sap your Qi.

Actual Vibe Vamps have a distinct energy signature and while some of the following points may be obvious, others are more subtle.

*When they break off their monologue for a moment to ask about you, it’s doesn’t just seem insincere: it’s a D-List performance, like a conversational gambit in a porn movie – an obligatory plot device before they get back to the main action.

*You’re not only physically fatigued after time with them – on or offline – you’re unmotivated and often craving your kryptonite food or substance. It’s because hanging out with a Vibe Vampire fuqs your self-esteem but it’s not overt because they’re often so ‘nice.’

*You’re permanently apprehensive that you’ve done something to offend or undermine the Qi Vampire, even if they haven’t said a single word about a potential ‘misdemeanor.’ Plenty of people can be conversational hogs or full-on company but they’re not manipulative and they don’t have ‘subtle projection of blame or shame’ in their playbook.

*You feel weirdly responsible for their problems, even though you’re fairly sure they would be hard-pressed to name any of your current dilemmas.

*If you timed your dialogue with the Qi Vampire, you estimate the share of talking about “their stuff” versus yours or general topics would be about 80-20. If you actually do time it, you will find it’s more like 95-5. Go ahead and try it.

*When you try to redress the balance or set some boundaries, it’s redefined as a personality flaw/disloyalty on your part. And by the way, the only way you know the Qi Vampire is super-loyal is because they keep telling you they are – there is scant evidence of it.

Image: Marisa Adesman

208 thoughts on “How To Identify A Qi Vampire”

  1. Wish Upon a Star

    The best thing for me to do is avoid eye contact.

    Personally they suck the energy out of my eyes. Of course at first you probably have no choice, but as soon as you find out they are Q Vampire, try it.

    Also, I read that this is the reason why Indians wear Kohl eyeliner: spiritual protection. Subconsciously I felt envious of women with Smoky eye because they had protection and I didn’t due to my lazy makeup practice.

    I tried this and yes it worked, and it wasn’t even kohl, just a natural eyeliner.
    The protection was strong, I felt like a Princess, people knew not to fuck with me. I was bathing in my own essence and it was pure, not adulterated by incoming zombie merde. And I felt special.

    As I write this I ask myself, so why don’t you do this every time you go out. Oh OK I will.

    I know I was Indian in a previous life.

    It may or may not work for you. But what I am trying to say if find those things that are 2nd nature to help you, don’t think about it: try and feel it.

  2. So it would seem we all have something to say, a direct experience, repulsion, attraction, up close with someone we know.. ourselves or otherwise.

    I think the archetype of a Qi-Vamp is rare. I think we all have moments of Qi-Vamp needs, an essential need for specific energy that is low or empty within us. In an unaware state it will naturally be sought out externally, in an aware state we know we can provide for ourselves.

    It is an opportunity to learn… whether the vamp or vampee.. how do I/we manage our energy exchange? How do I allow or disallow energy to flow through me. If I am alive then energy runs through me, the same that runs through you and the same that runs through a river, a rock or the clouds in the sky. It is ambivalent to description until it is defined by a mortal who deems it to be one way or another.

    Remember, energy is universal and nobody essentially robs anyone of any energy as that idea suggests that one or another has an energy that nobody or nothing else in the universe has and all is one and one is all etc etc. And to you all I say that is simply NOT true.

    So yes, I’ve thought about this a little more and am not the slightest bit miffed about Qi-Vamps, they happen but so do traffic jams but so do sunsets and spring flowers. All happens irrespective of our desire to make it one way or another as we’re all projecting into the creation of it all so that leaves us with one thing.. the way we resolve to deal with what we experience. Perceive it as a big deal and it is.. and as not so.. then it is not.

    SE – x0x

    1. Silversoulsinger

      My thinking, as a response to this generous comment, is that they/we have cut our/themselves off from source. This energy is always there, true, so why leach off others? Because it is I/we who close the door.

      1. Silversoulsinger

        Also, as an hilarious (to me) aside…this is my first comment made since joining and I got an auto generated avatar. A one eyed pirate crab thing. Lmao. I it. Cheeky thing.

      2. Hi SSS – A one eyed pirate crab will make an excellent avatar!

        So… first comment and you made it on one of my posts and oddly I’m just logging in to read scopes – see your name but actually see the blog details and think new blog so click – um no…. old post and under my old ID.

        But y’know I’m having a torturously looong Pluto transit post his looong square to Uranus and … I have almost readopted it a couple of times but she went down with her ship so to speak which was the end of some transh!t I can no longer recall.

        Welcome! 🙂

        I am a rare commentator these days – refer Pluto comment – but still lurking. I think when you’re in Pluto’s realm you lurk. You don’t hang out. You don’t pop in. You don’t whizz pass. You lurk. Lmao.

        Yes, the energy is always there and it is us who cut ourselves away or shut the door or makes up a story which will usually involve all those base elements of human nature and there it is the lack or the desire and the need…

        Anyway, thank you for redirecting my gaze here – I rarely go back and read and I now have a combo of cringe and a dose in hand of my own medicine. Reads a bit righteous to me (ah the Pluto Mars conjunct era) but the medicine is timely xx

  3. Oh…so interesting and timely for me. I have had some serious Qi vampires in my life before….my exbrother-in-law always left everyone ruminating over his behavior.

    then the expsycho scorpio boyfriend…..

    so tuesday my boyfriend and I had something happen that echoed a similar circumstance with the ex. I got upset, was upset for hours. BUT then after some sleep I totally let it go.
    Which has tons to do with me and my own personal work of letting go, but it also has to do with Taurus and the fact that he isn’t a Qi vampire.

  4. Qi Vampires also smell bad. They also smile straight after they are rude or say mean things. Also, if they are challenged they will make it out like your the one having a go at them and being unreasonable.
    I just cut a lot of them out since Saturn heading into scorpio. A very wonderful feeling. They also keep trying to contact me or when they knew I was leaving to give me a nice cutting remark. Good Riddance!

  5. I rely on Archangel Michael and his mighty sword to zap ’em with a blazing blue light. When i have the salt holy water medal & frankincense
    in my hand then i know i’m in trouble & need assistance from a Big Gun.

    Forget superstitions and spells that’s buying into the game.
    Get to know about your Chakras and how they interact with each other
    and other peeps.
    Know the different between Re-Sponse & Re-Act (ion). Best protection is silence then there is nought for them to bounce back on, unfortunately they can almost force a re-action. The best response is to choose a word
    see it in capitals in your mind’s eye, then breathe it into your body into every chakra but to start th solar plexus or #3 (according to most systems).
    Visualise a radiant sun full of intense yellow, warmth & light emanating from ‘solar’ area your centre of will & power.
    It’s ALL about power, any altercation and stresses, as in who has it & who hasn’t.
    Many of you are HSP (Highly Sensitive People) YES, it is now a recognised state of being with book produced explaining many mysteries
    of your sensitivities to you. You are not alone. Simply light attracts dark. Sometimes it is your own shadow coming up to meet you. Yup THAT’S a hard one to think about isn’t it. Nevertheless it’s just a shadow whether it is yours or other peeps shite is your mystery to explore if you so wish.
    Take the higher road but if you really want to engage, just tell yourself ‘no -one can take your power w/o your permission. Say it over and over.
    Energy vampires are a fact. Forgiveness because you are the bigger person.
    Then call David our Arian Bouncer Man around here if the above doesn’t
    resonate 😉
    Love from the Pegasus x

    1. Sexx, w/o looking at site suggested, shall give you my immediate thoughts:Entities do exists, the biz about ‘open’ & ‘closed’ chakras no one knows what it means. Receptivity we do know about. The more we explore the astral & it’s not for the faint hearted the more you need to be a spiritual warrior. You are battling these creeps on an etheric level. More power to you. Out loud x 3 times ‘I am of the light’ is supposed to be a guarantee to lose them.’ Fuq off’ works just as well.Not all are called to battle the ghouls, so think of it a privilege. Our voice is the most powerful as Marcus Aurelias said ‘Deem it so’ meaning our voice is our truth. How to make something sacred? Deem it so. It’s a brave personage that enters the astral coz there is all sorts of stuff there, mostly useless and a mess of thought forms.
      It is said ‘when you are on The Path, boulders may be thrown at you’.

      1. Ok so speed read it. She lost me in the first paragraph.
        Every significant ancient culture has energy centres mapped on their body systems, so we must all be star-seeded from aliens then according to her.
        Have had both Barbara Anne Brennan’s books and my experiences are not the same as hers. Look to Alex Greys depictions of the body mind instead. More colourful 🙂

        1. Ah yeah, I didn’t read it all but found some stuff further in on peeps who had shut down chakras in a permanant (?) manner and the relief they felf from different energies etc. Some of it was mind numbing .. true:)

      2. Blessings Pegs and thanks for your thoughts on this matter.

        I like the way you’ve responded. Yes, nobody does in fact know and I guess I was after another idea on it all.

        I get spiritual warrior, not faint of heart and such and have used some profanity in a response on more than one occassion lol as well as channelled the light to save me from a shite situation where I thought I might actually perish. I don’t know what it’s all about. Really I’m quite perplexed and I doubt that chakra protection is actually effective in that space anyway.

        When I was a child I had 3 sentry’s as I called them who walked around my bed of an evening. They were just shadowy grey figures with no particular features that were redeeming that would walk/march around my bed of a night. They used to scare me/perplex me as my bed was against the wall but they did indeed walk the perimiter.. even the wall bits 🙂

        I will keep rockin the voice and I agree vocal vibration is a great space clearer and I might consider expanding on that too.

        You’re a wise centaur lady.

        Thanks eh xxx

      3. Personally, i think f off is the most ringingly self affirmative blast backwards to incoming bs. It lessens my personal Qi to muck about trying to remember how to get a chant right. I like to think of it as the glory of my Mars T Squares with Uranus Pluto Sun and Mercury.

        It happens when i get frightened into a corner.

        But, you know, each to her own x

          1. You! You!

            LoLoLoL.. no eff off to you M xxx

            Simple, clean and swift yes.. but has not always been enough. That last fuq’er was a doozy. I’ve had a few in my day. My arsenal wasn’t working which kinda threw me and had me pondering other alternatives as a mutable is apt to do.. and where is the quick magical remedy btw 🙂 🙂

            1. Yes i read that link, and it just doesn’t qork for me tho i can see it works for that group. (Oh i wonder if i typed ‘q’ because i’m using a temporary computer at work with a dysfunctional ‘q’… and of course my morning documents all referred to a word beginning with that letter! New computers coming sometime during Merc Retro…shall probs miss that q-less keyboard.) Anyway, i’m highly intrigued by this recent thing of yours. Do you live in an older style house with a front verandah and couple of wooden steps? What’s at the left side and what’s at the back right corner? BTW you’ve got mail xx

              1. Doing the squeezy now. The ‘q’ made me laugh.. lots 🙂 You’re at work.. awww no.. well I hope it’s to qwazy (it’s a q thang!).
                Will check mail xx

  6. What if you think you are an accidental Qi Vampire some of the time? How can you stop yourself being a Qi Vampire? I think everyone has the potential, if they are feeling a lack of confidence, to be needy (which can be very draining and Qi Vampireish). Not deliberately or from malice.

    1. I think that this happens to all of us at some time or another. I mean, the non-deliberate kind where you’re so tied up in your shit you don’t even realize what you’re doing or how you’re behaving towards others. The only thing you can do is to become aware of this and change your mindset/attitude first towards yourself and then towards others. And I say first you must change your attitude towards yourself because if you just change your attitude towards other people, it doesn’t fix the actual problem. You’re just putting a blanket over something really deep seated i.e a belief or set or beliefs about one’s self. You have to go to the core of the problem and then deal outwards from there.

      We’ve all been guilty of being a Qi vampire at one time (or sadly, many times). It happens (though I’m not condoning it). You’re having a bad day, or week, or month for whatever reason and you end up being jealous of anyone else who’s enjoying their time. I’ve got a Scorpio Moon and I’m totally guilty of this. BTW: I’m not saying that if you have a Scorpio Moon, that automatically means that you’re Qi Vampire; I just think the way I come to terms with my Qi Vampire-ism has a bit to do with my Scorpio Moon. When that happens to me, I usually come home from whatever I’m doing and literally sit in the living room with all the lights turned off and do NOTHING. I just sit there in the darkness and breathe. In and out. Slow and deep. I might do this for a couple of hours or so. Meditation, I suppose? I might enjoy some black coffee, regardless of time of day and just stare blankly at the wall. Then I just allow myself to feel whatever I need to feel. Anger, disgust, sadness, etc. I just sit with those feelings for awhile and then try to see things from a different perspective.Then the smudge stick comes out. Then I do self-hypnosis.

      Of course this isn’t going to work for everyone, but this is what I personally do when I’m having a bad day and being my moody-broody self who thinks the world’s ending and how dare other people enjoy their time; not when there are so many things wrong in the world.

      1. good point – probably just being conscious of where you are ‘at’ when seeing other people will stop vampirish behaviour. For example, understanding the difference between a ‘debrief’ of 10 mins which comprises outlining the current problem, rather than going on and on for hours when obviously the other person is sooo over it. One of my best friends had a shocking and sudden marriage breakup and has had a very long road to recovery. I remember during the worst of it she came over and literally talked about the ex for 7 hours straight – I seriously worried that this would spell the end of our friendship. But I stuck with her and after a couple of years our friendship is totally back to a healthy give-and-take.

      2. Scorched Earth

        Absolutely! Perception is everything… always. And yes, of course it wobbles, gets distorted or feels manipulated by self or others or the weather, whatever but it’s still down to a viewpoint we adopt on something.

        We can’t stop someone from having a right ol suck (or attempt) of our Qi but we can hasten the cut or encourage the continuation by what we do with the insight.

        Sure bad things happen to good people all the time, and vice versa… that’s all under the loose banner of living a mortal life. It takes work to stay above the line, let go, forgive self/others, move on, cut, love when it’s hard etc. It takes consciousness. We’re all in it in in our own specific orientation of it all depending on the role we’re playing on the day.

        It takes courage to own it too eh!! So what if you’re jealous.. it’s actually desire to improve yah, it’s a recognition of the absence of something you’d like to have. These things are sign posts to us all and they can be navigated so differently if the focus wasn’t coming from lack.. what X has, what Y doesn’t etc. Energy cannot be taken from someone who has no lack imo. Qi-Vamps can still make a day uncomfortable or provocative or annoyingly sh!tful but they cannont take a thing that I would not give to them. The responsibility of that energy exchange is on me whether conscious or unconscious as the being we are has many levels of consciousness and regular every day mind would see this as an imposition but our evolved higher being may not even see it as worthy of noticing.

        Compassion is the first thing I would encourage. And I encourage that for self first and then for others it will naturally flow.

        Namaste x

  7. Agree with many that there is a two-way dynamic operating… I know take responsibility for getting better at identifying and protecting. I think a key is to identfy the behaviour and what they are doing then it removes their power. i.e. think, “I see you are wishing to undermine / take from me because of your own inadequacies, poor you.” Mve out of vicim stance t warrior stance.

    having said that… big confession… in February had a full on 30 minute convesation over the phone with a Qi vamp at work. There had been tension and his boss encouraged him to clear the air with me. Having been dmb and trsuting for 18 months, i’d finally wized up to his lying and undermining ehavior aand had all my ducks in a row. I I really pinned him on his behaviour, various belittling incidents such as giving me data entry work etc. Little did I know that he had called his boss in to listen….assuming I’d as usual be a cooperative, plyable mouse… not this day…

    I refused to work for him again and asked to move to another area where they wanted me to work. Yet a few months later, my contract wasn’t extended. In some ways he had the final laugh, but a part of me feels, oh well, you can suck back that bad kharma mate, if that is who you choose to be and to act. If someone confronts you, sack ’em. That is your choice.

    It stil hurts to have been sacked, I put alot of passion and energy into that job, for whichhe took most of teh cedit, and spiritually I am better to be out of there, but yes, it still hurts and has been replaying n my mind for months. I need the sound rack tio stop so I can put energy ino my new life, yet am struggling to find the same energy and passion I had. Depression I guess. That’s what hurts is that it feels somehow that sacking, punched out my self esteem and publc standing etc.

    Trying to rebuild, re-energise… slowly… but I need to stop replaying repaying what happend,,, what should I have done? Not stick up for myself and hold him to account? Should I ahve just walked away quietly? I am still glad I fought, I felt I turned into a lioness for 30 mins, then shape shifted back to little ol me… He was sexualising em and bragging to male wrk collaegues taht “I wanted him” (he is arried no I didn’t..) It was just too humilating. If fact, he wanted an affair and when he realised it wasn’t goin to happen, turnmed on me like a shark. I had trsted him like a ‘brother’ before that….

    1. F*d that he took your job away, darl, but once you settle back into your own soundtrack you know you will always hold your head up high over that one. Well done you!

      1. Milleunanotte – “settle into my own soundtrack”…

        I like that…bring on that day, I need old me back fast.. music may be the key… Thank you… 🙂

  8. My weapon of choice with qi vamps. Mercury in Aries at zero deg stationing direct. As soon as I sense the attempt at manipulation , the sword (formerly known as my tongue) unleashes. Sometimes it’s clinical, swift and tidy, at other times more like a sledgehammer, messy. It shocks them to the core when the first slice has already disabled them, they never try it again.
    The interesting thing is the criticism I sometimes get from bystanders…like, hey man, that was a bit harsh ? Did you have to say that ? oh yes, I’m not just protecting myself, I scared that fuqer back to Hades for the good of all !

    1. Ha, you should be my councilor!! I’ve recently learned this technique, albeit 18 years too late!! An adviser said to me ‘Ruth, sometimes you have to allow self preservation to reign!!’. . I’d never looked at it from that angle before…As far as bystanders are concerned – they are infinitely easier to deal with than said soul-sucker and . It’s all a delicate balance and let’s face it Qi vampires are bad for your health and they usually live to 96 or so!

  9. One thing I look for in people that I let in my life is the ability to be happy for others. Even if it doesn’t benefit them. Maybe even if they don’t especially like the person. If someone isn’t capable of this, they’re essentially vampiric. Unfortunately, this behavior is rampant, thus the fascination with vampires outliving us all. From their perspective, Vampirism= survival. These types truly enjoy seeing others hurt, because it gives them a sense of security. In this way they are different, and more cunning, than the average sociopath.

    I’ve lived through vampire hell this year since Saturn passed through my Saturn, is currently aligned with my midheaven, and will be going on in the next couple of years to Pluto, Sun, Mars, Mercury, and Uranus. in the 11th and 12th. In Libra and Scorp. PHEW. So you can see why MM is essential reading, no? It’s a complete survival guide.

    The positive side of all this: I will never be a victim to a vampire again. Three words: Just. Get. Away. Back away sloooowly. I do not care if they are a blood relative, a boss, or your bestest longest friend. Your life depends on it, literally. Formulate an escape plan. Sorry to sound overdramatic, but for sensitive people it really is that important.

    I feel that there is a major positive movement of the energy givers of the world working together and getting away from the jerks. Creating new businesses and families. It’s the positive aspect of the transitions we are all going through- esp. Pluto in Cap. I got every single vampire I know our of my life this year. So I’m broke, but happy and healthy, for the 1st time in ages. Wish me luck!! Thanks & xoxo

    1. God that sounds so good, libretta. May peace and freedom be yours… delicious! I especially like your very practical advice to have an escape plan and to back away slowly. Very sensible. You choose your battles: don’t go to war with a vamp; you disengage. And the scary ones are worth being supercareful with.

  10. Yes I think the ‘projection’ idea is a bit problematic – every set of individuals does work on a valency model – one person might bring out the best in me, another brings out the worst. This can also be accounted for by astro and family background – I have moon in pisces and pisces rising, am very reactive and have had to work my whole life to be more centred and pro-active about what I want and need. Growing up I was badly bullied by both mum and older sister (who went on to commit serious ‘elder-abuse’ on our mum) and henceforth sought friends that replicated this behaviour – i.e. bullied me. Through maturing, getting professional help and astrology (including all you fab posters here!) I have gradually been able to identify and protect myself from Qi vampires. And I do find that even good friends can be vampiric round certain topics, so I avoid or minimise those topics with those friends. But projection implies too much pass-agg and too much unconscious behaviour, whereas one can still be exposed to vampires no matter how conscious one is. Its like anger – its real, its what you do with it that counts.

    1. Oh I agree so much. I’ve been thinking a LOT recently about how different people bring out different things in each other. One persons nightmare is another’s true love or whatever the situation. I’ve been finding it fascinating and somewhat comforting actually. Have met occasional universal bad eggs/Qi nightmares on legs, one in particular who is known as ‘the joy vacuum’ but mostly there’s always someone for everyone.

  11. A point of view:

    I don’t agree that people necessarily “attract” Qi Vamps, or that the Vamps behaviour is just a “Projection” from the victim.

    Does an innocent child who loves life and loves people “attract” a narcissist mother? Did the commenters above attract a rotten boss? I don’t think so.

    I think in a world of 7 billion people at this stage of human evolution, that sort of person is out there. They have learned to get their needs met in certain ways. Because the methods work for them, they repeat the behaviour.

    If one turns up in your path, that’s your chance to learn how to deal with it. Good opportunity.

    Hardcore ones you cannot ‘manage’ – the secondary gain they experience from their success is too great. You need to get rid of them. But amateurs can be handled with a combination of boundaries and compassion. (Or maybe those interesting spells above? I never tried that=))

    If you learn the lesson successfully you won’t have many of them afterwards due to your boundaries. They can’t touch you or you expelled them. There could be random short term ones like the waiter Mystic had…. if you live in a big city with a high concentration of peeps that may happen.

    If you were an animal in the jungle – a nice mongoose maybe – who got chased by a leopard, you wouldn’t say ” Shit, why did I attract that leopard? I was happy grazing with the antelope and then BAM! What a loser I am for attracting that.” No. You would know the jungle contains leopards and antelopes and treats and trees…You would say to yourself, “Nice work on dodging into the bushes just now and for being alert enought to spot the leopards a mile away. We’ll keep up with the alertness. I’m grateful for the nice time with the antelopes. Ooh look at that tasty treat under this bush…” The jungle is still a beautiful place.

      1. Thanks for posting Wry – have really enjoyed your comments on this thread – I’ve survived a full-on (maybe even a bit hardcore!) narcissistic mother, and appreciate the sharing of wisdom and positive imagery.
        I agree with a few posts above: protect yourself and your vital energies, and life force, prioritise you, know how to set effective boundaries, and go for your own JOY in life! After being sucked dry, it’s hard to locate, but there it is! (as you say, the treats and delights in the jungle of life!).

      2. good point.
        Sometimes, (most of the time) bad people prey on good people that are minding their own damn business. Psychopaths in particular like to pick victims that are friendly, nice “weak” in their opinion. But, kindness is not a weakness.
        I don’t prescribe to some New Age beliefs that you are poor because, you are bad or not spiritual enough and you attract bad things that happen to you. If you get cancer it’s because, it was all your own fault for having low vibrational levels.
        Blaming weak, sick and the poor is not a solution either.
        Perhaps, in some rare cases.

    1. I love all the perspectives on Qi Vampires here, and obviously, encountering them is a maturing event in all sorts of ways. Though as some people have pointed out, some are not as easy to get rid of/avoid/dodge just because of their proximity due to either blood, shared space, marriage, employment etc.

      I have to say that I get to a point where I resent even discussing them as it just throws more energy and time their way. It’s a bit of a rocky road to that though – at least to begin with. Some are easily spotted i.e. hard core ones as you point out – or at least you get to the point where the previously subtle MO is glaring to you thru skill and experience.

      Others though are what I’d like to think of as peeps having a Qi Vampire moment. Or even issues that just Turn Them into Qi Vamps. I have a GF who’s in essence a good person, lovely mother but come the issue of men, ick..she will suck on your love life for all it’s worth just to prove her bitterness and anger with hers right. The irony is she’s always used men, or had her self-esteem hinge on them (while declaring loudly it doesn’t). And most of this reaction is a lack of self-resolution with that, especially now that she doesn’t have any willing to be used.

      So every conversation about YOUR experience has to be turned around to prove HER opinions right. Designating certain topics as complete No-Go Zones with her is the strategy du jour.

      When a QiVamping Nugget gets lodged in my field – as when the draining happens or the repetitive looping, I think it’s just like the eye of Mordor. And really my best stance is to deprive it of any energy and thought by focusing on centering myself. Doesn’t happen quick smart but eventually..

  12. The still-thinking-about-the-negative-exchange-thing hit home.

    Two younger male customers picked at me until I lost my cool and I thought about it for a week. Mommy issues maybe, they were still young enough to live at home.

    Anyway, I called them the Devil not Vampires but same thing-ish.

    I will be looking at this more closely in my life.

  13. Funny. I’m on vacation and had psychic reading done…in one part he said there’s a female (or females) who are trying to get under your skin and that I shouldn’t take it personally because its nothing to do with you as a person and everything to do with what they’re going through at the moment. He also said if I opened myself up to them, they would stop and become big allies. That part I laughed at….. because of reasons.

    There are indeed two people I’ve had issues with, one’s the Scorpio Assistant Manager whom at this point I wish would go to hell. The other is this bitter betty Virgo co-worker who can’t stand the idea of any person of color rising above her in the ladder. Yes, I am implying she’s probably racist too (I have passive-aggressive incidents to back it up with). Open myself up to these people? Not a chance. I never believed in the Evil Eye, but since my mother brought back charms from her trip home it made me consider things. I wear one now not because I think an object will make your troubles go away, but more because I need the positivity to shield me from this crap energy thats been thrown at me since I rose in the ranks last year. It is true when you start getting even SEMI-successful, you start to really *know* people. Its sad.

  14. I recently had this expierience and believe there is something to it. My Q Vamp tried hard to undermine my work and initiative out of simple insecurity. It bothered the hell out of me when I recognized what was going on and I couldn’t stop myslef from ultimately confronting the brain-sucker. But in the end I looked like a crazy for overreacting. You can’t win with these people. More calm & psychic protection is in order when you are dealing with jealousy.

  15. hiddendragonqueen

    i have to agree with the above comment about projection. i seem to attract qi vamps like flies to honey~ seriously, i cannot think of one person i interact with who does not completely drain me. it’s not possible that all these peeps~ my children? no.~ are vamps, hence, the problem must be me. my last 15 years of relationships- all my relationships really- could probably be classified as vampiric. unconsciously i think- we just recognized each other through our pain? i became aware of it only last year with my ex who i’d been psychically shielding myself from his outbursts and realized it wasn’t making the energy go away, just bounce around until the shields went down. so i became kali and started eating the energy and trying to transmute it into love. it worked, but i don’t know how well or for how long, but it did work. and inspired a greater knowledge that we are all vampires to a degree, and that in every interaction we can either be feeding the other person with love, or taking from them. to be unconscious is to be unconscionable. which is a hard lesson, and now i’m just drained to my very core, and have a new relationship which is crumbling me into dust. which also, it seems is what i want… ultra pluto or nothing… it’s very simple and yet so complicated…

    1. Introverts get drained easier than extroverts. They are also more drained or hyper-sensitive to others noise, and bs drama.
      I am learning to balance isolation (me time) with social time.
      I am a 60/40 introvert over extrovert and need time to recover.
      Is it possible to take a vacation from all of them to recharge?

      1. hiddendragonqueen

        yeah, a month in a hermit’s cell might do the trick. unfortunately, zero money and the little bits of time i’ve been trying to grab for myself get turned into a huge guilt trip by my parents. i’ve been sleeping in a tent, which helps a bit… and smudging with mugwort every night has helped too… if only i didn’t have to wake up.

        92% introvert, if i had to make a wild guess. 🙂

        1. tell your parents doctor’s orders were to take it easy, get some free time and relax. Having a breakdown is NOT easy to recover from. do it now before it goes too far. Good luck.

          1. great advice. if you are being drained (your children don’t mean to do it but sounds like you need more help with them?). parent’s guilting – get some perspective on that one – maybe they would like to take care of them more often so you can get some down time.
            what are your goals and plans? get some counselling to bounce things off and have someone on your side – there are free services or near to free services out there.
            SR is right – if you have a breakdown it takes a long time to rebuild emotionally and you can’t often handle stress again.

            1. hiddendragonqueen

              my whole plan in escaping to my parents’ house was for them to have lots of fun times with their grandchildren and for me to have some downtime and heal. my breakdown happened two years ago, was never acknowledged by me or anyone else. unfortunately i come from a long line of stoic emotional avoidance- life will be just fine if we get another degree or run another ultramarathon and we’ll all just smile and make nice and neither see nor hear each other. it’s been heartbreakingly clear how emotionally alone i am- a saturn moon transit 6 months before the real thing- with some good lessons learned. mostly about how i’m never going to let my mother into my personal life again. i’m going to make it here another month until my brother gets married, pick up my broken heart, go back across the country, get some counseling (i don’t qualify here not being a resident and i’ll be damned if i’ll ask my parents to pay for it), get a degree, and rebuild my life, wiser and older. the point of my story is, this is how people get to be qi vampires (of the non-sociopathic kind).

    2. Sometimes it’s also about strengthening your own life force so you can be around people without getting too drained.

      Not just blocking them out but actually working on your own life force so you are more balanced, healthy and will remove yourself from the fray sooner because you have a more intuitive boundary in place. There will be more energy left over for you.

  16. I am dealing with an energy vampire/drama queen of Miss Piggy proportions.
    She doesn’t realize she’s her own worst enemy and her own problem.
    It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.
    She rages when the waitress “ignores” her in her mind 30 seconds is reason to order “off with her head.” She fights with the waitress, the bartender. Glares at other patrons. Talks loudly about the shitty service, cold food, warm beer and gets more obnoxious as she drinks. Farts and belches in public without apology.
    Going out with her for a beer to talk is listening to her complain how she doesn’t get the respect she deserves, how men treat her like crap because, they are sexist pigs and hate strong women.
    She doesn’t listen to good advice and it’s always everyone’s else fault.
    She gets upset if I have drinks or coffee with other friends and often invites herself along or attempts to find out what my plans are to invite herself along. But, she hijacks the night, event and turns it into her and her problems.
    She has problems and she needs meds and good therapy. Unfortunately, it’s way beyond my pay grade as a friend. I am drained and sick after being around her.
    I wish her all the best but, just can’t take it anymore. 🙁

    1. to add to it.
      She went to a psychic for past-life work and it seemed to make things worse not better.
      The psychic friend told her she was a “princess” in a past life and should demand better treatment in this one.
      From what I can see she is the one abusing others not the other way around.
      She has turned into a Queen of Heart-less Hearts demanding special treatment and “respect” and demanding to be invited everywhere I go.
      Instead of her adjusting her attitude to patience, modesty and empathy she’s becoming a full blown narcissist.
      Not sure what I can do to help her, except to avoid here and protect myself at this point.
      Many of her friends tried to get her therapy and help including her own mother and her boss and it is getting worse not better. 🙁

      1. Anon,
        I am sure ‘living this’ is pure hell, but from an outsider, yours posts are utterly hilarious an I’m immediately thinking of a comedy on the big screen… Come on, an obnoxious loud mouth who then gets told she was a princess in a preious life and ‘should’ demand even more from people / the world? Bloody hilarious!

        1. Trust me, it’s funny when I am not directly experiencing it! 😉
          I can laugh now after the fact. Unfortunately, if I allowed it the melo-comedy-drama would never end.
          I really wish I was at the liberty to spill more, it’s quite funny and involves some interesting people. 🙂

  17. chaos in virgoan form

    thats brilliant! I think thats how Ive really learned to walk around with huge walls around me all the time not letting anyone know how they make me feel…its just so much safer that way. The vampires just love any heightened emotion you release it feeds them: but they especially love when you are stressed and scared its like heroin to them.

    Ive found black tourmaline to be one of the best talismans against these guys. Either it repels them away from you, like there is a disinterest which I find kinda funny, or when being in there presence there is a lack of charge, like everything feels very neutral and undramatic. I love it. I wanna make myself a black tourmaline vest. lol

  18. relativetoQivampire

    This is so accurate a description Mystic- I would add a defining aspect of a Qi vampire is their victim-hood – they create it, parade it, wallow in it, are only happy when they’re victims. And so need an audience for their dramas/victim episodes. Being a victim means that nothing is their responsibility – it’s always someone else who is at fault, never them, they are ALWAYS the innocent victim.

    Their dramas and episodes might even include threats of suicide, veiled or direct. They are extremely shrewd as they can so accurately zero in on people who are sympathetic by nature. That’s the audience they need.

    Unfortunately it took me years to recognize the pattern between my Qi vampire relative and myself – she dumps her victim melodramas on sympathetic me and then skips happily away, satisfied that once again she was the star in her own melodrama – while I felt like hell having absorbed all her negative energy. That was the whole point – very subtle – I absorbed her negative energy and somehow she knew it

    No more! The most recent attempt was a veiled threat of suicide last night as a matter of fact. My response was ‘Get a good night’s sleep’.

    Well waddyaknow? This morning, she’s right as rain – yup, even suicide is just another passing melodrama for Qi vampires!

    Recognize the pattern folks, and don’t buy into the dramas – that makes you responsible for feeding them. Who needs that?

    With every new drama my standard reply now is ‘What are you doing about it?’ which turns the onus back on the person to act…and victims hate that. But it has largely turned off the tap of victim dramas – maybe that’s why the last ditch effort of the threat of suicide – but I didn’t buy into it.

    And this morning, she’s still alive – which I knew she would be.

    1. Nice one.
      Agree with your description re their needing all drama on them.

      If a terrible accident happens between two people the Vamp knows, the drama is how the Vampire feels devastated! Not how the two injured people are coping.

      My ma and I were walking along a street in a big city one day and we saw a young, vulnerable-looking, possibly homeless girl sitting in a pub doorway next to a dog, and sobbing her heart out. I was immediatley concerned to my core. “Should we go over and see if she needs help?” I asked my mom. Mother coldly looked over and I think she was annoyed that someone might be the centre of more drama than her. “What a nice dog” she murmured, and kept walking.

  19. Hmm… I must have a LOT of Qi Vampires! Sounds like my experience with many, many people. And yes, when I’ve made the mistake of showing my annoyance/disdain for them, that gives them more power. The only way to deal with people like this is to cut them off at the source. And I am the source! Of their energy, their happiness, etc. So I don’t tolerate being close to (or acquainted with) Qi Vampires. I’d much rather be a total loner – with absolutely no one in my life – if they’re all going to be Qi Vampires.

  20. I think you hit it dead on. My husband had an old friend who is the worst Qi Vamp I’ve ever encountered. A few years ago he was working with him on a regular basis and every night he would come home and stew about what horrible things the guy said or did and it would last for HOURS, sometimes even DAYS. The vamp in question would constantly undermine him, debate every little thing he said, and create confrontational drama all while asserting that he was superior by comparison.

    It got so bad that one day, while discussing his latest vamp behavior I realized that I too was obsessing over what a jerk the guy was. Every night had become a mini therapy session so that even when the he wasn’t around, his Qi sucking was still active… It had to end. My husband finally broke free and has been unimaginably better since.

    But like you said, it wasn’t just the energy sapping, it was the post-interaction obsessing that was stealing all of our time and energy.

    1. Great advice Triffid!
      (More book titles about narcissists is “stop treading on eggshells” and “I hate you, don’t leave me”).

  21. Just a quick reply so I haven’t read everyone elses yet.
    I had a friend and that is just what would happen, but as she was a Scorp multiple Saggi I think it was deliberate most of the time. And yes she was after something – always. Her only ‘friendships’ were based on what she thought she could get out of a person – if it didn’t well ………………Nasty. Very devious & draining.
    Another friend married to a Qi vampire, by your definition Mystic, is becoming a problem. We’ve managed to manage them, but now she keeps turning up and always with something that she believes will gain entry to our home & therefore our time. She definately spends alot of time calculating what to do & what times to come round – but we don’t get sucked in anymore.
    So could it be that we develop our defences so that the Qi vamps don’t get a psychic hold on a psyche? It’s a form of attachment isn’t it? Sometimes I feel it in my gut ( solar plexus) like a magnet being sucked in – ‘clang’ and they’ve scored 🙁 when I’ve been off guard. Some ( especially family) will just keep on going ’till they score a hit so to speak.
    Anyhow, must dash, but I do spend alot of time learning to defend myself this way, as with my childhood I had very weak boundaries & they are just becoming stronger & straonger & I’m becoming more aware of just how good some of those disguises Qi vamps use are 🙂

    1. Only just back……but it’s worrying me that I said solar plexus which is the third chakra ( it is isn’t it?) – I think it’s the second chakra that Qi vamps attach too.

  22. Ms. Leo Noir A

    ” … they’re too awful to generate their own life force/goodness/Qi/prana/vibe/creativity etc.”

    Hell, yes.

    A Toro man-child I once dated sucked me dry, fuq’d me off with blatherings of needing to be alone, tried to pick up one of my best friends online two weeks later, then tried to make me seem like the bad guy when I scrambled up to the highest branch on my Leo-cat-tree to get away from his pitiful ‘let’s be friends (so I can continue to hoover your Qi)’ moo-ings.

    Sending less thoughts his way these days, and he’s heading off o/s next month, so no doubt he’ll be looking for fresh Qi to feed off soon. Hopefully his needy vibe will be visible through his ‘Nice average Toro guy’ facade and scare any potential partners away, leaving him with ample time to examine (and hopefully re-adjust) his repeated and less than stellar behaviours. It’s looooooooong overdue.

    1. Very interesting. I am heavy Leo (Sun, and a bunch else), and all the worst vamps I have encountered have been Taurus. Two were siblings, then two bosses and a co-worker. Maybe this is a hangover from growing up with vampy bulls, but I still am very cautious about getting close to a Taurus, any Taurus. And the only cure I have found is distance.

      1. Ms. Leo Noir A

        Same, actually. I sometimes find it hard to be around Toros for some reason, even the ones in my immediate family. Whenever I’m around them, I get irritable and impatient, and want to walk away. Wonder why?

        Funny thing was, that every time I was around this particular Toro guy, my solar plexus would start buzzing, and I’ll feel physically sick! You’d think that would be a pretty obvious sign … but I was so taken in by his charm by then … *rolls eyes* Sad!

  23. I call them…. fuqwits.

    I have two of them working on a project I am involved with. One is the overlord, the other is the underling/henchman..

    Can I kill them?

    Can I? Please, can I?

  24. Yup, I can name one that sticks out very clearly. However, I picked up on another recently and distanced myself because it was gonna get to the “into psyche” mode so I walked. I can’t stand them. The first one was in my opinion just looking to create drama. They thought they were doing the right thing and trying to help but for me it was complete drama. AND surrounding a guynthat I was dating. The second also surrounding a guy,… the same guy. It has drained me and also caused problemw with the guy I was seeing. I didn’t know what I was doing and thought I was doing the right thing… and look. He throw some of it in my face. I am very careful now! Thanks for posting.. oh, sorry Aries, but these 2 gals are both Aries. Don’t know what that means but.. I am just careful now.

  25. OMG..I lived this whole thing at work yesterday..sometimes, I feel like my own QI vampire..I get so intensely preoccupied with something I’ve said or done.

    I can’t seem to keep my mouth shut and with mars on my sun , I’ve gone and done just that..spoke out and spoke my mind and basically snapped at one of my favorite work mates and I couldn’t sleep all night because of my words!

    I just didn’t feel like wading through the river of her dark mood is all.
    (getting full on zap zone here)

    thank you I love you Mystic:)

  26. Scorched Earth

    I’ve never considered this viewpoint before. Interesting … idea. I’m not sure if it would always be so as it could just as easily be me replaying what I could have done differently etc but yeah, sure it could just as easily be that too I suppose. I will astutely assess the next time if occurs which I hope is not any time soon btw 🙂

  27. “they always think you’ve gotten away with something, that you’re shiny and privileged in a way that the Qi Vampire is not.”

    I had one in my life for years. I am still shedding her toxic effects – she is a Gem sun/Gem moon/Aries rising… Very competitive, very manipulative. I much later read she went to a professional meeting using my credentials. Some time later, she gained an edge over me – again professionally – and made me know it by answering my query to a professional list by writing “it is surprising to hear your presence in these meetings”.

    “They’ve got enmity and they’re too cowardly to confront you directly so they attempt to fuq with your confidence….”

    I am not whining – this was a woman who stopped by my house unannounced to complain about her love life, who mimicked whatever I did, bought whatever I bought – “where did you get these pants? I want one too”, butted her head into my life — “how much did you pay for this vacuum cleaner?” The first time I bought a car, she sat along, quietly and did not talk until I wished that may she buy a better one as soon as she could.

    The first time I had consulted Mystic, she told me to cut a Qi vampire and that was what I did. I cut her. This was two years ago. When Venus was retro, she popped back again through common friends.

    Her hold on my confidence etc will not be solved with a “one time” visualization. Now am applying a visualization technique “cutting the ties that bind” that goes on for 6 weeks. At second week, I am still digging up the dirt she threw on me.

    ” And of course, they’re too awful to generate their own life force/goodness/Qi/prana/vibe/creativity etc”

    Oh yes, a colleague told me the Qi vampire was recently asking someone to do her job on an email list. I guess brains around her are no longer for picking on the basis of friendship.

    1. LOL! I saved your suggestion. If I ever get a hold of a personal item of that person, will definitely try 🙂

      I think this is the trick – you don’t want to harm, just ask a higher authority to take away the emotions the person causes.

    2. LOL – I did the ‘name on a bit of paper and put it in the freezer” to help me move on from obsessive LZ crush. I do think its working!

  28. “From their p.o.v. they always think you’ve gotten away with something, that you’re shiny and privileged in a way that the Qi Vampire is not.”
    — yep true, the vamps think they’re the victim and poor me poor me poor them. whatever.

    ” and they’re too cowardly to confront you directly so they attempt to fuq with your confidence. You being annoyed by them or even engaging with them feeds their Qi. And of course, they’re too awful to generate their own life force/goodness/Qi/prana/vibe/creativity etc.”
    — true again, they constantly flip the power and are usually in positions of power.

  29. Miss anonymous!!!

    Triffid, I know from several years of being in here that you know a lot about this. What if it’s your mother? What if your her only child, and almost the only family she has left. But being near her is painful ans being away from her is guilt-ridden, because she’s really the only family you had growing up. But she’s frighteningly controlling whilst seemingly oblivious.

    Yes, I am getting counseling. Yes I am on here regularly but I am being anonymous because more than anything, I find this the hardest area of my life to deal with. But I’d really like to think of it in chakra terms, in energy terms, because I have come to realize that it’s part of my trip in this life to learn to deal with this without becoming as sad and bitter as she is.

    Any suggestions?

    1. Someone once said to me
      ‘You wouldn’t drink a cup of poison just because you felt guilty, would you?’ So if someone is that toxic you need to do what is best for you, not stay in touch out of guilt (and this was about my mother)

      I have a similar family scenario and am not in touch with either parents and it is such a relief. I could try and try to have ‘some’ kind of relationship with them, but it would always be ‘unreal’ so I am not going there. It is very sad, and I have more work to do in that area too, but I feel so much better than if I was trying to deal with them out of guilt or fear. Maybe some day I will want something different, but not right now.

      But a funny thing is that I always watch Keeping up with the Kardashians and feel envious cause even if they are shallow/consumerist etc, there are a lot of nice things about their family!

      Good luck!!!!

      1. I too, have had some counselling re my ‘difficult’ relationship with mother – and yes, I agree, you get to realise your good boundaries: you don’t have to take ANY crap from anyone, even if it is a close relative, or that ‘sanctity’ of mother. You wouldn’t let a friend treat you that way – so, it takes time, but yes; keep it up and be strong! You can still have a relationship; just more on YOur terms!

        1. To quote Kenny Rogers: I think you gotta “know when to hold ’em (stay in touch and work through it) and know when to fold ’em” (cease contact) 😉 and what’s best will be unique for each person.

          1. Ha! brilliant! — maybe not so cut and dried in real life tho, but still, I like it, thanks Kenny too!

          2. And Know When to Run.

            I am not joking. I think the lyrics in that song are perfectly true.

            And when you run ( remove yourself completely from a sociopath) or otherwise stop taking crap, there is then room for all the lovely people. You’ve shown the universe you only accept good treatment. So you then receive that, either from your problem person if they’re open to it, (mine wasn’t) or from a myriad other great people who already know how to treat people decently.

        2. Miss Anonymous Again

          It’s harder than that. I have a young daughter who adores her, they adore each other, and she helps me with my girl.

          But the things she’s done and said, and still says…I can’t cut her off, it’s not so much guilt as duty, and in a way I believe that family is duty, and I am not being a martyr, not at all. But I think my daughter has a right to her grandmother, that makes two members in her close family.

          I can’t cut my mother off. It would mortally injure me as well. I just need to learn how to fence with the dreadful Qi Vamp aspect, and not let her psychicAlly win. I need not to be bitter. I need to be able to look after her without hartred in her old age, to focus on what she does do kindly. But it’s so hard and I have to intellectualize it, because the damage has been done, and deeply.

          1. FireyGBSomething

            thinking on what triffid said of energy hooks – plexus or heart – maybe 2 hooks are possible from same person? – so, mum’s plexus hook to you needs to be cut, but not her heart hook ….

          2. Can you blunt with her? Ever tell her to stop being a controlling jerk?
            I would. You might feel a lot better and she’ll respect you.

            1. Great point. Don’t tiptoe around the issues. It is easy to still feel like a scared little girl around a difficult parent (because they are manipulative etc), but you are an adult now and can stand up for yourself and don’t need to take it anymore!

      2. I think also some people can be judgmental towards someone who doesn’t want to have a relationship with their family or they just don’t understand. They think ‘it’s family – family is everything’. I think that is bullsh*t. It’s hard to understand unless you’ve gone through it. I am really happy not having my parents in my life and am working on getting that sense of family elsewhere. It’s hard, but I’m a lot happier and relieved.

        1. Miss Anonymous Again

          For me, I can’t. That would leave me and my daughter without family except for each other. I understand how other people could reach that point. For me, in a shallow way, that was the easy option, but it wasn’t really because it hurt. I feel the need to try to deal with it like a Zen Buddhist, but how to do that is a bit of a trip.

          1. I posted up earlier – I too, have 2 young kids, and wouldn’t deny them their grandmother, but I had to have counselling to get me through mental and emotional anguish at the destruction she was wreaking, and that I started to feel I was going nuts myself!!…. After learning how better to exercise boundaries (again, I say it) – and use distance when I NEED to, I still have her in my life, and cutting her off wasn’t an option. But saving my sanity and protecting MY well-being was. You’ll know what feels right. It’s tough going, and you can love the best of her, and refuse the worst of her (if it’s damaging to you).

          2. Dear MA,
            Is there something you could do to help diffuse the feelings – ie next catch up go on a walk, ferry, some kind of adventure where everyone is outdoors and things said that you dont want to carry around can be taken care of by the outside elements ? Even a drive to a park in the car, ust getting out of the normal place where you usually catch up. just an idea hun. Peace, and be brave, you have a good heart.

          3. OK I'm Anon too

            For a loong time, the only thing that stopped me having children was to protect them from their Grandmother. No way would I want her to damage them the way she damaged me. Defenceless children with young hearts and minds. Even as an adult it takes a lot to get over each attack. No way would I subject my own child to that.

            Time passed with no contact. I healed and I’m not afraid of her anymore.

        2. Duty schmooty as was said above–Would you drink a cup of poison because you felt it was your duty?

          I think pissing of their daughters once and for all is a huge relief for some Mothers too.

        3. I’m so glad you said that. I think the whole family are everything mentality is a load of old cobblers bound only to make us feel guilt and disappointment when we find we really really really cannot tolerate them and that frankly they behave as if we were their mortal enemy.

          1. I think it depends on the ‘issues’. If it is not too severe then yes maybe it can be worked through. People are bad at talking about stuff. Maybe it can be worked through if it comes to light or even if one of the two involved knows what they’re doing in terms of boundaries etc. If the parent is psycho – walk away!

            I am single and have no family in my life at all. I did not take my decision lightly. It’s hard! But I was tired of being emotionally and financially drained and knew I would never really have any kind of relationship with them. Why get together and ‘play nice’. I tried the spiritual approach and therapy, but not being in touch is best for me. I have less issues with depression and anxiety and feel much happier about my future.

            And I learned the lessons I needed to learn from me
            ‘choosing’ them as my parents. I don’t think you need to be in contact for that.

    2. You need to cut your emotional reactions, not your mother out of your life. If/when you have time, check a book called “Cutting the ties that bind”, it is about parental relations. There should be a website summarizing the technique.

    3. Miss Anonymous is back

      Isn’t it funny – of all the things that hurt the most, you know, blokes and their ways, etc etc, it’s this issue that hurts so much I can’t even talk about it under my assumed other alias because i don’t even want people I don’t know to know how much this affects me.

      Thanks Triffid – I will try. I went to see my counsellor today – he’s lovely.

      And in answer to the above – I am as blunt as old socks. I’ve told her over the years to fuque off out of my life, to stop being such a vampire, to keep away from my firends, to keep away from my child (when she was younger).

      My mum shrugs it off as ‘my anger issues’, as in “Oh when are you ever going to stop projecting your innate anger at me”….

      And to outsiders and to her own friends who don’t have much to do with me, she paints me as an angry and confused woman who tries purposefully to hurt her when she’s only trying to help me.

      The problem is…and I don’t care how this is interpreted by others, if I cut her off, I would feel more guilt than I could handle. She’s managed to malign me so much to relatives and friends, but the weirdest thing is, she actually never sees it as her fault. And until I was in my early 20’s, when the cracks first started because I was living in share houses which she’d monster – I used to believe it was totally my fault.

      It i very easy to say, ‘GET AWAY”, it really is, but it just doesn’t work that way. She’s not even conscious of how aful she is. All she knows is that she’s dreadfully lonely, and her daughter is an angry biarch.

      I feel enormous pity for her. Removing the only thing she really deeply cares for, which is me and my daughter (I know this is beginning to sound warped, but in my mother’s brain, everything she does is for my own good), would just be….I owe her enough to try to work out what I can do from my end. Without anger. Because she doesn’t hear ‘Fuque off”, even when it’s said using those actual words.
      I have a feeling also that I need to deal with this because this is what her mother did to her, this is how she think love is… a combination of control, guilt, absolute narcissim and martyrdom….and I am proving to my daughter that love is something else again. If I walk off, at some point down the track, I will need to answer to why I walked off instead of stand my ground and with love, turn it round. I don’t want her to change, I just want to reconcile myself to what has happened in my life because of her before she dies, so that I do not somehow carry on the family tradition of borderline mental instability as a method of living – and present this to my whole, healthy, happy daughter.

      Oh, what a rave.

      1. Create a new healthy family, even if it is just you and your daughter. Rather than trying to create one out of you, your daughter and the devil! That is how you can start a new tradition and be a good example. I don’t know if this turd can be polished. It is awful and heartbreaking.

        Best of luck. *Hugs*

  30. I’m an Aqua sun, Cappy moon, Gemini rising, so emotions are not on the top of my list. I went out with a self-entitled Sag. addict for 10 years. We had three dogs together that were like my kids. I called to tell him I was coming up to the house, and he informed me that he had “met” someone. 3 days later she was living there. Turns out she was a former escort and violently abusive and abused. She would call me in the middle of the night on his phone and say “you had him for 10 years, and I stole him in seconds.” Two years later someone said he saw the Sag. who had “Finally met the love of his life” I was devastated. I just let it rip. I went up in my car for a major confrontation, hadn’t seen him since the phone call two years before and had the cops calling me for the next 3 days. It felt so good to finally let it out! Don’t mull over it, tell the bitch you’re going to report her to the “board” – she should get her license taken away!!!

    1. “Finally met the love of his life”
      How awful for someone to say that!!!
      Just cause someone appears to be ‘winning’ because they’ve found someone ASAP, that doesn’t mean anything – just means they’ve found a quick way to avoid looking at their relationship behaviour patterns. All they are going to do is repeat any negative relationship patterns with this new person, because they haven’t taken any time out to sort things out.

      And we never know what lurks beneath the surface in any scenario! Things may look good for someone but be totally sh*tsville!

      1. But isn’t that what qui vamps do…they lay it on thick. They don’t just start going out with someone …they “finally meet the love of their life”……
        I’ve become rather sceptical of anyone who is laying it on thick. The particular qui vamp I know has had “an amaazing spiritual connection”with at least six people/partners in the last four years.
        I hope I don’t sound too grumpy! But i have been on the receiving end of the “love of my life”stuff too, and the adoration bit only lasted about 3 months. Vamps get bored after that?

      2. Intense “new loves” can be addictions.
        Love of the life and soul-mates can also be co-dependent destructive relationships that burn bright and then out.
        Frankly, I’d take true love that’s quiet over brash, loud noisy dramatic “love-of-my life” bs anyday.

  31. Thankyou Mystic, how very timely and apt!!
    Have not as yet read through all the replies on this thread but suffice to say the past six weeks I have been Googling that very question “how do you recognise an energy vampire?”.
    For some reason of late, say, the past six months, the qui vampiredom energy…(or lack of)..has been ramped up to the effect that I have actually been pushed to the point of severing my association with them.
    As if everything had been put into a high pressure crucible causing the elements to bond or separate!!
    But back to your point…when you go over and over…YES!! Even when you know where they are coming from (envy)..and why what was said.
    was said…
    I did have one as quite a regular friend however it was exhausting as things only went smoothly as long as she was the centre of…there were various attempts to gloat over some things she thought I should be jealous of..her boyfriend, her social life etc.
    Unfortunately it all does stem from her thinking on a deep level that I have more and better in various departments, I am kind of happy to be me….I think there is the problem.

  32. if you fall... dive

    yeeeeesssssss! a katako i dated back in ’08 did that shit ALL THE TIME. but it’s okay, because he totes said he loved me, just… couldn’t stand anything about me. all i needed to do was change to fit his mold, right? soooooo reasonable, with his “i’m sorry i don’t compromise, that’s not a good way to be” and then never even trying to change… and his mom would come sobbing to him every time she was super stressed out over something, since she clearly had no close friends to do this with. i mean, omgosh. and the sex was boring 🙁

    1. I have recently draw a line between an old kataka friend and I – same shit – very sentimental but too ready to criticize every and any thing about me. Let her back into my life after 10 years absence, partly coz we share a very good friend, but before long she found an opportunity to criticize and attack (assumed) behaviours via email. Urghhhh shudder – and porkchop – agree with most comments. Your anger IS real and genuine – the therapist has really crossed boundaries. Very unprofessional – now – what will you do about it?

      1. Joining in on the train of those drawing the line with the Katakas. Exact same thing here, Quintile. Even when I try to remain as neutral and bland as possible, she finds something to snap at me about. I blame it on the Zap Zone hitting her Sun exactly. Mars is about to batter her Sun by square also, joining in with that Uranus square still pushing on her. I feel sorry for her because I know she must be beyond stressed, but she needs to find a healthier way to release it than to chew on me.

  33. Wow thank you MM this describes my ex perfectly . That’s how I felt that ENTIRE relationship and it lasted a year I kick myself for staying so long I blame my Pisces venus

    1. Oh, I read yr name as ‘Ramricorn’! Pisces Venus, I have Cancer Venus, it’s ridiculously loyal – thank goodness for my Gem Asc. or I would be with some seriously silly guy.

  34. Scorporation, Inc.

    That’s so awesome, Triffid, the heart chakra vs solar plexus biz. Energetically, this makes sense to me.

    1. Yep, good stuff – always had terrible physical churning in my gut area/solar plexus when contacted by these certain folk.
      Also – dynamics can change over time, and with a few protections/medtiations/shrugging offs later, they may not affect you in the same way, and you take back your power.

    1. Good on you Pork Chop,
      I dig him, and get his audio books out of the library to listen too in the car. A Haute Leo friend sent me some of his stuff just after first child when i felt i was vortexing out of control (re no sleep/hormones/etc) .. i dig him and what he has to say.
      The one i’m on in the car, talks about unbinding yourself from your grief, amongst other things (My mum could really do with a listen, but im super weary about putting people onto anything unless they ask. ) Can check out name next time in car if you fancy.

  35. I have been feeling ENRAGED since yesterday. A counsellor that I see emailed me yesterday to see how I was doing cause she hadn’t heard from me for a little bit (we do some work over email in between sessions).

    I have been seeing a new grief counsellor (does different work to the type my old counsellor does, and I will still work with the old counsellor cause she does different stuff) to help me really get over this ex stuff and move on. So I tell her that I am doing great etc. and feel like a million bucks… (cause I had a session just a couple of days ago) I end and say offhand that I wish ex would get his act together instead of being in denial (we have both worked with her, but me way more cause he always thinks he is ‘fine’). (and I have just gone no contact with the ex, although I forgot to tell counsellor 1 about it, cause I always end up irritated and he ran off with some little bimbo so good riddance. I had been trying to be friends with him because I idealised him and blamed myself for everything but I don’t feel that way anymore).

    And then she emails me and says ‘That’s great! And ex (insert name) is working on himself now, if that makes you pleased/grumpy’.

    And I have been SO upset ever since. I am probably being overly sensitive??? But I didn’t ask what he was doing and wasn’t asking her for help where he is involved so she should’ve just STFU. She has this new agey view of relationships and even though I am working on myself I am not in a place where I can be the bigger person and forgive and forget, not just yet. And then I told her that I didn’t need to hear that kind of comment from her, and all she said was ‘I understand – it’s like an alcoholic not wanting to hear about the trip to the vineyard, LOL’ and I am fuming! Is it just me?! I’ve worked with her for four years and she has always gone above and beyond to help me and I have made HUGE strides with her support. But I feel so crappy now, like all the progress I had made with the other counsellor has been wiped and really everything that happened with the ex was 100% my fault rather than 50%. Maybe it is my Saturn and Pluto transits talking.

    Anyway, sorry for the rant. and writing War and (no) Peace here. I am just having trouble forgetting about this!

    1. Scorporation, Inc.

      Uh, your counselor had No Business saying shit to you re your ex!!

      I seriously question the ethical integrity of this counselor. For one, she broke your ex’s confidentiality and depending on the laws where you live, breaking confidentiality is not only unethical but Illegal, too!

      For two, a counselor does not “stir the pot” by gossiping to you re your ex! WTF?!

      Re Qi Vamps: this counselor is suspect! Why? Because she’s seriously abusing her authority and power, that’s why.

      Cut the tie, and report her!!

        1. Yep – I second that – never see her again – grossly unprofessional, not to mention completely insensitive. Walk away VERY fast and don’t look back. Your new counsellor sounds much better (just think how you felt after your last session with them, as opposed to this).

        2. Agreed.

          Counselors are only human too, sometimes Energy Vampires will take jobs in grief counseling to feed on others.
          Seriously, bad juju wrapped in a haughty attitude.
          Had a counselor pull that then hit on my boyfriend.

          1. Agreed.

            I AM GOBSMACKED that your counsellor would
            a) mention another patient’s case with you; and
            b) snarkily imply that you would have some kind of reaction to his making progress.

            Gross misconduct.

            But why are you entangled with seeing a counsellor your ex is also seeing? Incestuous and yukky. Leave her. You need someone to understand YOUR perspective. She is never going to be that person if she needs to be on his side too.

            ALSO – a GRIEF counsellor OF ALL PEOPLE should not rush you into a forgiveness stage.

            In my experience forgiveness happens all by itself after you’ve let yourself feel all the rage and anger that you deserve to feel and should feel after someone failed to treat you with the respect you deserved. And I don’t think it’s essential to forgive, so long as you are not in hatred or defensive mode and so long as you can move on when you’re ready. Books or teachers that tell you to forgive before you’ve gone thru ” i hate that abusive person for x behaviour, and y behaviour and I deserved better” are full of Sh*t, imo

      1. Thanks for your comment. I feel less crazy now!
        I had already known he was seeing her cause I (stupidly, when I was still in contact with him) convinced him to start seeing her again cause he was so miserable about work. She is amazing at what she does (personal development stuff, not traditional counselling), but things have gotten too familiar/friendly between us. Her comment made me feel like I shouldn’t have any ill will towards him or should be over it already, any bad feelings are my illusions/ego talking, each person just did the best they can blah blah. I am just not a saint and I do still harbour a lot of bad feelings. Not like I want this to be my life story, but I was pretty devastated with his actions and it’s going to take a while. I just think that that new age-y approach to relationships only will work for like 5% of people. I have a Venus-Pluto square – I want vengeance, damnit! (Not that I would ever do anything.) Now I feel very icky.

        1. Scorporation, Inc.

          “things have gotten too familiar/friendly between us”

          Yeah: Bad Sign!

          None of this is your fault, I don’t care if you lent your ex the car to get to his first appt with her. She has ethical and legal obligations that she is putting aside– and causing damage in the process! She has No Biz bringing his doings up to you, and she sounds like an effing trouble-maker/guilt-tripper/probably sleeping with some of her clients/exploiting people/power-tripping kind of a person. And it sounds like she really enjoys her vamping, too.

          Sorry: I get pretty uppity about this shit. I hate hearing about this kind of stuff happening… But anyway–

          Leave her ass! Protect yourself!

          1. Scorporation, Inc.

            And yeah, she’s good here or there… Probably pretty charming… Kind of sucks a person in…


          2. Thanks, I appreciate your advice and that’s a good point about the professional thing. I think the good thing is that I have become this peeved off at a time where I feel like actually saying something back and asking for a boundary and for my feelings to be respected. Rather than just taking any comments or advice that she or anyone says as gospel. Maybe that is a good sign. If I tend to attract certain behavior from others maybe this is to help me recognize this and take action (i.e. my feelings aren’t valid).

            I do tend to go overboard about things/with my emotions and get uber fired up (mars/jupiter) so I am going to not do anything right away.

            1. Scorporation, Inc.

              All right, but remember: You don’t owe her Shit! Not an explanation, not another appt, nothing. Probably you need to pay any outstanding fee, but nothing more! You owe her nothing.

              Good luck, Porkchop. Stay strong xoxo

              1. Thank you SO much for your encouraging words! I am feeling heaps better. Might still buy myself a cupcake after work though… 😉

            2. Ditto to everything Scorporation says!! This sort of stuff makes me fume – we place so much trust in counsellors/psychs to take care of us at our most vulnerable times. The one big reason they get that trust is their strict confidentiality.
              I would have said exactly the same as Scorporation, maybe not as eloquently ; )
              Seriously time to look elsewhere if over familiarity and breach of privacy have entered the room. You can be thankful for the good stuff she did in the past but she’s taken it to another territory now – which is only messing with your head more and doesn’t bode well for future interactions with trust issues.
              Journalling or Julia Cameron’s morning pages can be helpful for sorting out how you feel about this stuff.

              1. Thanks for the ideas! Last night I wrote some angry letters and ripped them up. Will do some journalling too.

        2. Seeing a counselor that he doesn’t also see is best for now.
          She’s involving herself like a mutual friend not, a distant professional should.
          You need someone to listen to you not gossip about how well he is doing. That’s childish and bizarre.

      2. Scorched Earth

        Yeah I have to agree, it’s a confidentiality breach essentially. He may not be aware that you know and even if he is and lets say he suggested the info be passed on to you I’d still consider that unethical and crossing various boundaries.

        And in email??

        1. Scorched Earth

          Although I should add that I would probably not see the same counsellor as an ex or someone I was working to move beyond. I think it can potentially set everyone up in a tricky dynamic to navigate through. That;’s just me though, I’d feel like I was still connected with the counsellor as conduit.

          Trust yourself to make the right decision for your wellbeing and you will see the clear path PC.

          I like what DT wrote as well.

          1. if you are in australia the problem is that anyone can call themselves a counsellor. ensure that you connect with a counsellor (or psychologist) who is registered with professional organisations (again, in oz it’s AHPRA). That way you have recourse if confidence is breached. Coz if she is telling you about him then what is she telling him? I think that you are best to break ties with this lady who does not seem professional enough to handle your situation and provide you with the support that you need.

    2. Thanks for your comment. Yeah, I think it made me conclude that I will probably never be able to be friends with him ever. No matter how much I spend on counselling, lol. And even though I don’t think I would enjoy hanging out with him really, that makes me sad as we were together for a decade.

      I did realise that my reaction was bringing up something, as it has been so strong, but I still wish she had STFU. It also made me realise that sometimes, even if someone sees a situation and thinks they understand it or they know better, they should just keep quiet! lol. Not that I want to be in denial or la la land about everything, I really work hard on this stuff. But maybe sometimes she tries to play devil’s advocate where he is concerned (when I was asking for her help regarding hm in the past) and I don’t need it. Like when I finally started busting through the illusions it was ‘good on you! good for standing up to him’ and then next time she makes it sound like all my feelings are projections (I’m sure some of them are, but not all of them).

      Thanks for your comment! I am going to think more about what you said. More issues to uncover, lol.

    3. There is a definite ethical problem with this counsellor…she should NOT be sharing such information between the two of you. In fact, there may be a conflict of interest regarding impartiality by treating both of you, knowing what one thinks about the other and (possibly by what you’ve indicated from her behaviour) passing it on, back and forth.

      Get away from this person. You may have made progress with her before…but this is a co-dependence thing where she seems just a little threatened that you aren’t seeing her so much and throws in just enough to reel you back in to work out ‘issues’ the counsellor is planting.

      It’s NOT your ex who is the problem now. It’s the counsellor.

      I think you may have known that deep down by seeking out another, but not telling this one about it.

      1. Hi Aqua Thanks for your comment!
        I had told counsellor A (does more skill development than talk therapy) that I wanted to see counsellor B (grief counsellor/talk therapy) as I was feeling really stuck and counsellor A said that she also thought hat this was a good idea. But now things do feel weird for me regarding counsellor A after her comments. and like there is some other stuff going on, like you suggest, and too much familiarity for sure.

    4. Thanks to everyone for their helpful advice. I definitely feel SO much better. I ended up sending a reply and will take things from there…

      I felt upset after reading this joke and think it was a bit in poor taste. I’m sure that wasn’t your intention, you have always been more than helpful to me, but please do not make comments like this to me as I felt belittled.

      1. I’d let her know that you doing great, so great in fact you no longer need therapy anymore. Say you met someone new and have new plans in life. Thanks. later.
        Allude to great things are happening and see if your ex “hears” about it. Then you’ll know if she repeats what you tell her.

    5. Agree with everyone here regards counselor breach, I don’t think it was malintended but there are two things that stand out:

      One, she’s unaware that she’s now thinking of herself as a friend to both of you rather than someone completely independent. Her lines have been blurred, hence her blurring yours as well.

      Two, I DO think this is an excellent sign of growth, healing and strength on your part. You mentioned (in the moment of rage obviously) that this made you feel crappy and that what happened was 100% your fault rather than 50%, then how Counselor A’s hapless remark has made you feel as if the work you’ve just done with B was wiped out.

      Well, it may just be me but I think your anger over all this is a great moment of self determination. Honey, I celebrate you and your progress.

      Her carelessness created an inadvertent challenge. It’s very normal to rely on whatever resources we’ve gathered to help heal and strengthen ourselves. Especially with a counselor, its absolutely reasonable to expect confidentiality and sensitivity. But as you know at the end of the day, no help can ever be perfect – whether it’s a parent, our bestie or someone we hope has the training to know better.

      I think you have a very good understanding of where you are in all this, and this is just proof that all the work YOU’VE done has paid off. Maybe it was just further evidence you only need one counselor now? Or possibly soon, not at all?

      1. Yeah, what has been good is that I can now see things are too ‘friendly’ and blurry and that is not helpful to me.

        And yes, I don’t want to take sh*t from anyone, lol.

        Thanks for your thoughtful comment.

        I thank everyone who has put in their two cents, all of your advice has been uber helpful!

  36. There are definitely some sad people out there intent on upsetting but I totally agree with the ‘receptivity’ idea. Sometimes other deplete you as you get this hopeless feeling which reminds you of yr own issues. Eg my narcissist dad used to upset me hugely but I noticed when I meditated he was really easy to deal with, a psychic shield of good energy radiates.


  37. What about the idea that the people that bother you are the ones that you project your shadow onto? No one can take your power/qi unless you let them… Takes two to tango and thats sort of thing. Very interesting topic….perhaps the moral of the story is Know Thyself.

    1. Echo I like this – I have been also wondering the same thing myself! (for are we vampires to the ones we are ‘bothered’ by?!) I do think it fair to own our own projections, and try to be aware of our own shadow selves, which some certain people more than others – bring out in us.
      And we can learn a lot from these people – even if it’s just to stay away from them!

      1. Hi Anon

        Avoid those who you cannot accept, accept those who you cannot avoid, and have wisdom to know the difference….

        just having a laugh….such a conundrum!

    2. No offence Echo, but you speak like someone who has never met a sociopath or narcissist.

      Believe me it is a breed apart. Incomprehensible to humans with beating hearts.

      However, I agree with your POV in regards to our relations with garden variety imperfect humans. There’s always a lesson for our own imperfect selves.

      1. None taken WryGrin. I have spent a long arduous r-ship with a psychopath who was incapable of even the most basic compassion and now have PTSD as a result. When I left him he said “at least one thing you got from this is how to spot a wanker” and now indeed I can. There is a big difference between someone being a total c-nt and them actually getting to you IMHO – life experiance has taught me such. Unfortunately we all have a chink in our armour somewhere…

        1. that is to say if he wasnt a hot bed for my projections I would have run a mile in the first instance – and had I not run a mile no way could he have devestated my psyche the way he did, cos I would see his behaviour for what it is and cut it off – ….

          what a cruel world

  38. My dad was the worst Qi Vampire. He’s gone now but I still feel like he’s sucking the life out of me.

  39. Oh, yes, this makes way more sense to me than the old ‘they make you feel drained’ thing.

    I have had a hideous time for years with a couple of Qi Vampires – in my partner’s family, no less. It’s true, I keep ruminating over and over about what ‘went wrong’ with the exchange – why I feel so bad. And, honestly, sometimes it’s so innocuous, people say ‘what the fuq is wrong with you?? Why did that get to you so much??’ etc. But it’s all going on there, right under the surface.

    I sometimes feel like I’m just too sensitive (but Sagg Sun, Gemini Ascendant, and Moon in Cancer?? I’m not that sensitive!), and wonder why no one else has problems with these particular people to the extent that I have – although quite a lot of friends of mine have indicated that they do find the peeps involved to be – how to put it kindly? – rather ‘self-absorbed’ and ‘a couple of prats’ (as one friend said!).

    A friend of mine who was married to an extreme narcissist – and has had to do lots of therapy to get over it – says that such people are adept at getting through to the ‘chinks’ to the deep psyche. But only if they target you – i.e. they often zoom in on certain people over others (mainly those who they unconsciously know will respond to them in the way they want). It gives them a feeling of power. Especially so, because many other people will be oblivious to what’s going on. Or will brush it off. So, there is a ‘receptivity’ there, that they like.

    I’m not sure if this is correct, but it helps to make me feel better – and to get stronger!! Mystic, your discussions of Qi Vampires always help too! xx

    1. Scorporation, Inc.

      I so hear you, re narcissists! Your description of such is spot on, Sagg Girl. Sociopaths/Antisocials share some of the same nuances as narcissists, definitely. One important difference between the two, relevant to this blog post: a narcissist is apt to get jealous and demand adoration and attention; a sociopath, however, delights in screwing with whomever just for the sake of screwing with whomever, and could care less about getting your admiration or attention.

      In my mind, Narcissistic and Antisocial are just two clinical terms for this creature we call the Qi Vamp. I have physical and mental reactions to them when they’re in my vicinity. And then I suit up and put on my war paint– so to speak. (Because sometimes, we Have to deal with them.)

      1. I agree with what you are saying whole heartedly. I still have to deal with one…someone I broke up with 5 years ago and even had restraining orders against, but who still stalks (especially on the net).

        My theory re:sociopathy is that such Vampires want qualities from you they know they don’t possess (and won’t take the time to develop) so even emotional possession of you feeds that ownership-by-proxy. It is also why they hate you so much at the same time – and after.

        I don’t see a win:win because even negative attention feeds them…but not in the way they need. It makes them angrier…and ‘you’ more to blame, from their POV.

        But you know what? FUQ their POV. Once I got a handle on that…I feel much better, even with the crap still going on, it’s not INSIDE me, anymore 🙂

        1. Aqua,
          From my experience of being in a family with a Narcissist, what you have said about Qi Vampires is completely SPOT ON.

          There is no Win Win. Also they hate you while wanting to possess you.

          Sagg Girl, I disagree that they only target people they can get a reaction from. From my observations, They usually target people who might get more attention than them due to having qualities they can’t be bothered developing. Like genuine kindness, seeing the best in others, creativity not destructivity…..

    2. Wow Sagg Girl, how similar are we – I’m Sagg Sun, Cancer Ascendant and Gemini Moon! What you said about Qi Vampires zooming in on certain people really resonated with me. I’d never thought about it like that before. I have had a persistent Qi Vampire in the periphery of my life for the last six years (unfortunately she was best friends with my ex-partner, so it wasn’t easy to escape her entirely), and you know, I think what you’ve described here really applies to this situation. Thanks for the insight!

    3. Sagg girl,
      yes, there definately seems to be a receptivity thing…others seem to notice..that the vampire is “self-absorbed” or , a bit of a showoff/pain/sleaze etc without it getting to them.
      I’ve encountered more than my fair share….I also have Gem ascendant…(taurus sun, scorp moon), wonder if it’s something in the Gem rising!!!

      1. Way to go Sagg girl & Scorp Inc. – makes sense to me put that way; & have had a mighty battle ‘dealing with’ my narcissistic mother. Toroscorp, I have also had alarm bells & physical reactions to people with whom I have this particular ‘receptivity’ to – and been learning to exercise my boundaries and shut them out as much as I need to!!

        1. Anon..yes, re boundaries, learning these things can be quite disconcerting when one starts cutting vampires out..a sort of strange alone-ness, but then again, more energy!

          1. *like*

            Heaps more energy!! .

            Even the hardest goal is easy after the vamps are abolished, because it feels like you don’t have a iron planet tied around your neck weighing you down and no-one is tazing you every five minutes.

            All your wonderful energy is for YOU.

        2. Yes I think some of us are empaths and just seem to draw this stuff in, or be more affected by it – I’m definitely getting better at dealing with it as I get older (maybe some therapy & kinesiology helped with that too) – & have dealt with it a long time with my mother! I just don’t accept her behaviour anymore & I have changed my reactions to her etc – effectively changing how she must act towards me. My eldest daughter (18 – Pisces, scorp rising, libra moon) would just totally brush off any sort of qi vampire behaviour! I love how strong she is! I’m gemini sun – so yes are there more of us??? – do qi vampires just think cos we may vibe naive & childlike (sometimes supposedly!) they can put one over on us??!!! More fool them. Just had cut off my recent boyfriend too – narcissist – another one but so charming he slipped under my radar! Blinded by sex lol! – exhubby was one too but took a lotttttt longer to extricate self from that (hence therapy after to work out why I’d become involved with someone like him & ensure it wouldn’t happen again!)

          1. mercurial fireside

            I am getting the vibe of Gem having a strong link in these. I’m Gem sun, Sagg rising, Aries moon, but often get caught out and have to reset boundaries. Slowly learning to recognise the signs early but I agree with it being a receptivity thing.

    4. Every narcissists I meet has boasted, “I am a people person. I really get people, I understand how they tick (and manipulate them to my advantage they will brag about later.)
      They usually are extremely exported and adept at charm, manipulation of others. (See American Psycho.)

  40. Scorporation, Inc.

    I don’t know. I’m right there with you, except for the whole I’m-ruminating-over-a-negative-exchange-with-X-therefore-X-must-be-a-Qi-Vamp thing. That’s too convenient for the ruminator! Haha

    But seriously, ruminating can mean lots of things, and 99% of the time it is more about You than the object of your ruminations. Know what I mean?

    So Qi Vamp is jealous of your slickness, and Qi Vamp is ruminating over you– as you’re ruminating over Qi Vamp! Yes to the whole vicious cycle feeding itself, and spawning it’s ugly little parasitic babies all over your Blessed Space. Such a shame.

        1. PlutonicUranian

          So true. Erecting a reflective psychic barrier may only increase the volume of bad-itity. Dialogue always gets you somewhere, either pushes the issue or unravels it all to simpler elements that are easier to resolve. I work it down from qi vampire to rude waiter via mathematical reductions when I can.

          Sorry for the squareness but that’s just my Saturn transiting through natal sun & natal ascendant, right into progressed sun & then progressed ascendant!

      1. I agree 100% Scorporation, Inc, if you’re seeing this stuff you could well be tuned into the wavelength, especially if you see and feel it A LOT. In fact it could be YOU (me!) being the Qi Vampire and getting a fair dose of karma for your own life-sucking ways… Great post by the way MM

    1. true.
      “ugly little parasitic babies.”
      It’s all perspective.

      If I have a brief exchange with a mentally- imbalanced person who fumes that I didn’t smile or looked at some-one weird in fact i didn’t, doesn’t make me a energy Vampire unless, I intended to send bad energy at him or her.
      I’ve been accused of being a snob, or elitist when in fact I am reserved, quiet and shy around people I do not know or never met. I am polite but, reserved.
      I also have to realize sometimes, the waitresses is having a shitty day and might be PMS-ing and it has zero to do with me.

      1. But, yes I think the energy Vampire is much deeper spiritual exchange going on then rushed, impoliteness.
        I was just reading/researching about this topic. I am glad to see a post on it!
        Some people really do get under the skin or touch on those nerves!!!
        I’ve been avoiding energy vamps and have regained my energy and haven’t been sick in awhile either.

      2. I have the same problem with people thinking I’m a total snob, when in fact I’m just shy, quiet and reserved as well.

        There have been times where, no matter how much I smiled or how polite and considerate I was, the fact that I didn’t engage in an annoyingly lengthy conversation about the weather or something else superfluous meant that I was a total snob, a stuck-up b****, etc.

        I’ll admit/own up to the fact that I’m not good at small talk mostly because I do find it to be unnecessary and contrived. Anytime I’m being waited on by a cashier or a waiter/waitress somewhere, I always make sure to acknowledge them by smiling first and then preceding to say: “Hi!” or “Hello! How are you?” But, I can not count the number of times where that simple act as been met with complete and utter disdain. Everyone has bad days and I never take it personally because I know that everyone has their own private battle going on in their lives. However, I do remember one particular interaction I had with someone one day quite some time ago and still to this day, I’m scratching my head wondering: “What the HELL?!” It still creeps back into my mind. It just felt extremely personal even though I know I’d never met this person in my life. It seriously must have been something from a past life or lives.

        1. omg! my boss said to me that he wants to f*** me. yesterday, at a party with colleagues. the exact words. what do have I do? II suspect he was a bit drank yeah, but he reapeted that for about 5 times. quite explicit. i wonder what kind of attitude I must have with him. he’s a predator and I suspect I would became a perfect love zombie if I accepted this. no way…plus, having an intercourse with the boss is so eighties. no..
          can someone tell me what do I have to think, behave, say if he insist again? any advise?

            1. And btw his astro means jack. There’s no excusing sexual harassment, and it would be rude to even suggest this dickery comes under the jurisdiction of any sign in particular.

              YOUR astro matters. Do your Moon, your Saturn, activate Uranus, whatever you need to be supported and strong.

          1. Hey lovely, you are going to have to show your clearest firmest boundaries ever here. You let him get away with this, and you will always suffer this man’s ill.

            Have you got an HR or any other formal recourse? If you don’t know find out. And right now, document the incident: words, times (or approximations), locations – anything – write it down. As well as anything else previous.

            Sorry lady you proabably want to wrap into a ball and have a nice hug and sip on some soothing tea, and yes please do all the things you need for nurture but Find Your Steel. You will be supported. That language and behaviour from anyone let alone a boss is not only unimpressive it’s illegal.

            Power up, go wisely, be gentle with self and best wishes xx

            1. thanks Milleunanotte!!!!
              just what I had to hear, cause I didn’t tell anyone at the moment, and your words made me feel better. I was so confused, u know. I don’t want to tell the thing to anyone in the work place, or it will be total hell. let’s say, I just behave as if it was an “accident” due to the over drinkink and partying last night. let’s say he was just not on totally in hiself. no excuses here, but it’s the simplest way for me to deal with this, plus, I’ll be très set on my boundaries in the future, and maybe, if that ever will happen again I’ll say honestly to him what I do think. directly eye to eye.
              btw, my moon is not very well placed, cause it’s in cancer in the 12th, squared by pluto BUT rescued by mars sextile in the 10th. I’ll show him what my mars is about.
              and my venus is in capricorn too. I can become like steel if necessary.
              again, thanks xxx

    1. That last paragraph describes my mum. =(
      Course I can laugh about it now. *engages delete button for unwanted recollections*

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