A press release…Now?! Then again, why not?
“…Neptunian Life Coaching is proud to announce the launch of Neptunian Legal Services, a natural and timely extension for our three-millennia-old company.
Leveraging off our galactic platform and proven track record of providing sophisticated advice for complex scenarios, N.L.S. will fearlessly represent the interests of its clients.
Neptunian Legal Services has offices across all dimensions and its agents operate throughout multiple timelines, back to – but not including – the Deluge.*
While N.L.C. is always fully prepared to go to trial, we prefer negotiation to litigation. Our deep network of astral assets and disincarnate experts affords us with a unique perspective that our clients appreciate.
Our initial case is a class action and already underway. Acting against an as-yet unnamed entity, Neptunian Legal Services is representing the parties broadly known as Lilith, Betelgeuse, the “Holy Ghost” and the “Whore of Babylon.”
We will be vigorously pursuing our charges of defamation, data breach, privacy infringements, trade secret appropriation, misrepresentation, and malfeasance.
*Some periods incur much higher costs than others for logistical reasons and assignments in future periods are not recommended in most cases. Further details on request.”
The press release was delivered by an ibis and that was all it said.
Image: George Rochegrosse – The Queen of Assyria