Neptunian Life Coaching

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Is Venus Trine Pluto Why My Fake Fingernails Caught Fire?

Is Venus trine Pluto why my fake fingernails caught fire? You know it’s Jupiter square Neptune when you get emails with subject lines like that. Read on for the real reason. Dear Mystic, The most bizarre thing is happening. I did a stellar clearing ritual for the new moon.. getting rid of a car full of junk, throwing salt, mugwort smudging, Buddhist mantra. The following 36 hours includes a visit …

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Vanadium’s Mars In 4th House Problem

Vanadium Lightyear sometimes wondered if her at-home restlessness was a Mars in 4th house problem. She’d been raised by a Qi Vampire, leaving her with excellent self-reliance skills. But the residual ‘something’s wrong’ guilt persisted. Weirdly, her new cleaner Onyx – sent by Neptunian Life Coaching Services – was helping. She’d lost that constant feeling of having forgotten something urgent. But she was also wondering if Onyx was from another …

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Find Your Next Paranormal Romance On Supernatural Tinder

Vanadium Lightyear had no idea how she got onto Supernatural Tinder. She’d done the Deflecting Karma Drama course, opted out of Ad Drones and was not even Diversion Dating. She was literally on there seeking a new partner, with realistic and sane expectations in the world of supernatural dating. Because it looked more or less the same as the usual Tinder app, it was only her Paranormality Alarm Monitor going …

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Space Age Fashion Neptune Goggles

Neptune Googles Are The Ultimate Illusion Accessories

From the mystery backers behind Neptunian Life Coaching, comes a bold new lifestyle accessory: Neptune Goggles. After all, why take drugs when you can be a drug? Neptune Goggles are the exact opposite of Saturn Dating Goggles.  They are designed to diffuse reality, not bathe it in a stark light of skin blemishes and overdue tax. But they move well beyond the classic rose-tint of standard-issue Illusion Accessories. Custom-scented, they …

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Sees Saturn in Capricorn Over In The Corner

Saturn Return in Capricorn – The Inner Monologue. So you’re at the Jupiter Portal Party, having fun and then you spy Saturn over in the corner:  Shit, already? She’d forgotten he was even coming back. Secretly, Hypatia had hoped he’d lost interest. Or somehow held no sway in this new era. But no, Saturn was here, and people were even laughing at his jokes. And here of all places. At …

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Vanadium Lightyear Has An Existential Crisis

Were pentacles a crypto-currency?  Was she solvent? Present? With a jolt of disdain, Vanadium Lightyear realized that she was entering a full-blown, epic existential crisis. She did not know if she could retain equilibrium until Jupiter in Scorpio, the sign of her Sun. She wanted desperately to move cities but could not bear to leave her neighborhood. Not even for a day. Besides, a move from Cosmopolis to Chronopolis demanded …

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