If Saturn Were A DJ

Longevity. Legacy. Resilience. When it comes to such factors, everyone knows that D.J. Saturn reigns supreme.

At four billion years old, you’d think the wily scenester would give it away, but no, he’s still showing the young up and comers how it’s done. Cool under any circumstances, Saturn is always timely. If you can’t catch this global superstar in one of his exclusive gigs at Chronopolis, or you didn’t relate to his 2019/2020 releases, prepare to be awed.

Saturn’s hugely anticipated residency in Aquarius was always going to be a risky stylistic experiment. But this ‘structured anarchy’ has resulted in the ultimate dance mix, including the extended play reboot of Deepfaked.

Check it out, along with 11 other new future classic tracks. Are you feeling it?

44 thoughts on “If Saturn Were A DJ”

  1. i probably got wayyyyyyy too triggered after reading this, took a few days to sober up. i am too delicate rn aaaaaaa

  2. My natal chart has moon, Saturn, and south node in Aquarius in 11th house. Does this mean more intensity during this time?

    1. Yes! But get a year ahead transit report if poss, that way you can get the broader, panoramic view of the influences…

  3. Dying of laughter over here. Very on point and fitting. Love the visual too. Saturn is in my 4th house, where my Moon also is (both Aqua), and I’m spending my nights googling “offsetting carbon emissions calculated how??”, organising my drawers and becoming an eco-minimalist of some sort (minimalist as in, not buying more, not in the wasteful Mari “Throw Perfectly Good Things Away” Kondo way, d’uh). Recently deleted Instagram because it’s been inspiring me to eat too much (all the beautiful food pics!) and the algorithm-inspired ads were a tad too creepy, bearing in mind that my microphone and camera have been disabled for all apps since I ever got them.

    1. Also, the Protonmen (the band and the musical) ARE Aquarius! imho. Give it a listen, astro-gang! Wholeheartedly recommend the 80s glamrock vibes. Lyrics very relatable in the current dystopia.

    2. Late last year, while struggling with a relationship (w man) my Google ads kept inviting me to connect with Women in Your Neighbourhood, and Hot Mums. Thought about it in a bored-of-struggle and low-vibe vengeful moment yeh for sure Pisces likes to note signs 😂.

      Was either the result of (a) turning off ad settings; or, what thoughtful Pisces adventurous Sag decided could be (b) Neptunian Life Coaching services teaming up with Uranus to create Mille’s Smart Home Tech Hub of Fresh Operations. ‘Cos i’m Venus Aqua IC conjunct NN in mutual reception Uranus Libra, yeah?

      Lucky, i remembered relationshit drama is what it is, merde, regardless of whom one tangles with 🤨😏😆

  4. Why do I feel like I’ve punished the dance floor to this track list at the Neptunian nights recovery club in Europe? lol 😂 your intelligence is so amazing Mystic!!

  5. Weirdly, when Saturn Uncle was on my moon, I listened to sappy, sad songs. Now that its on my sun, I am into electro-bop. So, you have a point.

  6. I preferred his bootleg remix Tachyon Accounting. It was on the Viral Escape album with an extended remix of Giving You A Hadron.

      1. I think you’re right. I was probably thinking of that track Empathy Audit. I always get them confused.

  7. I LOVE THIS POST! This is one of your all time best posts. It’s brilliant, on point, hilarious, inspiring, and profound. Rock on, Mystic!

  8. Wish Upon a Star

    Very creative Mystic. Love it !

    But 5. The politics of water. As a Pisces Rising I thought there was no heirachy with H2O. LOL.

    But I can’t get enough of track 7 and 10.

  9. Hi Mystic I must be missing something.
    Is this a real record or cd?
    I thought I’d check it out, but can’t find any mention of it other than your post? And no physical product that I can find.
    Enlighten me someone……please. Maybe this is some sort of joke I just don’t get the punch line.

      1. Okay I’m there. I am in Retro Mars garb with an infinity fascinator. I glow in the dark even though I’m text.

    1. Wish Upon a Star

      Dear Athena it is totally made up. I thought it was real till I read your comment.

      It looks pretty good. A testament to Mystics creative genius and hard work.

  10. Fabulous!! Me or the Algorithm…. hahahaah!

    Structured anarchy: “I believe that the moment is near when by a procedure of active paranoiac thought, it will be possible to systematize confusion and contribute to the total discrediting of the world of reality.”
    ~Salvador Dali ~
    (Saturn in Aquarius)

  11. When’s the vinyl release out with some gatefold sleeve notes? Seems legit. Or maybe even a phonograph cylinder? Although that’s more Saturn prohibition style come to think of it …

    1. The vinyl will be made from the original masters, it might cost a little more but it will be a top quality weight and pressing, designed for authenticity and longevity!

  12. As a semi-professional DJ/Producer type, I find this to be nothing shortly of utterly hilarious 😀

    Now, if only Saturn would make it clear what he’s up to in my 7th :p

  13. Who did this mazing art work? The dance party of a lifetime. It’s been a long time between light & sound shows….I’m THERE. Reeboks & baseball cap outta mothballs & the last wave at lasers.

      1. Remember that song, “I’m So Horny, Horny Horny Horny” ? Sang it while burning up gay club floors. As “Love to party, party party honey” and was amazed how many boyz flocked in to boogie and sing with dancefloor respect and you go girl eyes 🤣🤣🤣

      2. I do remember, dancing with my Neptune goggles. I grabbed them by mistake. Made a mental note to find the Saturn version for the extended tour coming to a undisclosed location anytime soon.

  14. great 😀 😀 ! track 5 immediately reminded me of “the politics of dancing” by ’80s band re-flex… “the politics of dancing… the politics of ooooooh feeling good… the poltics of moving… oooooh ooooh is this message understooooood?”

  15. The artwork is fantastic and I love Mystic / DJ Saturn’s clever track titles. Although I now have to visit DuckDuckGo and do a search for the meaning of 6. ANGSTROMS

    1. Club featuring this album is called DuckDuckGetIt. Get on down, you already have a pass, and forget about the Angstroms. Someone you meet there will give you the sign and let you know it’s gonna be alright. Probs Pegasus in her ol’ school cool Boks w Invicta lighting the way

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