Introducing Saturn Serum By Mindwarp

If you love your Saturn transits – experiential maturity, time consciousness, tax ache, and teeth bills are just some of the inclusions – you’ll be thrilled with the new Saturn Serum from Mindwarp.

66 thoughts on “Introducing Saturn Serum By Mindwarp”

  1. No way! And I thought twelve drops! Is my Neptune transits square Moon, square Saturn, opposite Sun, Mercury and Mars deluding me???
    And I thought transitimg Saturn opposition to Venus will… poopphhh!!!! disappear somehow…

      1. HAHAHAH. Because your voice is so unique and you’ve an amazing knack of taking highly complex concepts and inventing pithy phrases that not only describe them but turn them t-shirt worthy!

  2. Product review:

    With consistent use this does actually work!

    There is a subtle but brief scent of old parchment and cedar that hits you immediately but before you get a chance to drift into nostalgic thinking you’re hit with a waft of sweat and endurance. It’s off-putting to be honest but I can see how it works with the structural matrix and the product isn’t designed to be a flash fly-by-nighter.

    A warning to any purchasers – there are no results upon initial application but you will notice the NHPRT kicking in quite quickly. Initially this will feel like an irritant and one of those reasons to cease usage. You probably need to persevere for results knowing you won’t see them til you see them.

    The Mindwarp portal seems to be Mercury Retrograde proof and shipping was fast!

  3. I’ve got Saturn trine my Gemini Sun in the fourth house all next year minus the first 2 weeks in January.

    I’ve also got the Saturn square Taurus moon in 3rd house for the last 2 weeks in January. mmmm

  4. Know what ? I’m sick of Saturn currently. I’m done, through and finished. I want sun Jupiter in the 5th to take over. Saturn is literally going to turn direct and skip into my twelfth. My new mantra is sun jupe 5th. Sun jupe 5th. Sun jupe 5th.

    1. Hang in there emg. Love from a natal Jupiter in Leo conjunct Venus in Cancer both 5th house. ❤️💖❤️

      I’ve also got Saturn transitting my 12th house. What does it mean.

      1. Wish Upon a Star

        Funny that. Shit did get real and like now I am bouncing back. Keeping boundaries is the theme. And now again nurturing and growing my pshyic abilities..

        Thanks emg.

  5. Off track..allowed coz i’m an elder, thanx Myst for featuring Modesty Blaise in Sagg weeklies. My favourite hero from whom i named my fancy rats after, Modesty & Blaise. Interesting that she adopted her surname from Merlin’s teacher named Blaise!
    Seems Quentin Tarantino is interested in making a movie of her adventures, there WAS a movie made not well known starring Monica Vitti, very sexy in a trench coat and stellies.
    Of course my next fave hero is Barbarella. ‘An angel doesn’t make love an angel is love’, the Black Queen smoking essence of man, and Barbarella short curcuiting the pleasure machine.

  6. LMAO. I must be doing my Saturn transits wrong. All this last one seemed to do is make me more determined to be more batty. My Saturn is positively aspected in most ways except it’s opposition (out of sign, as it’s in Toro) to my 3H Saggo Neptune, which would be a bit of a micro-generational problem. I even made a wall tapestry of the two symbols to remind me to me think on it, but I just don’t know what it means for me and I can’t help but feeling it’s both the question and the answer.

  7. Love your copywriting and artwork, Mystic, funny and true! 🪐

    Saturn has been crunching back and forth over my natal Mars in Aquarius all year long… Lots of hard, strategic thinking and moving forward in a very measured and very SLOW way

    1. You must have your Mars near where my daughter’s moon is, Calcifer! She had school bullies in the first fly-by earlier this year, and not only has she made great new mates, but all the ‘bullies’ now seek her company (as a pal), too. Plus she has discovered a heap of her innate strengths. Hopefully, the next conjunction will be way easier for you and her! 🤗

      1. Hi Earthstar, hope you still get to read this. Good to read that your daughter has made the best of Saturn conjuncting her Moon. These transits are always so much more challenging when you are a child/teen, but they can shape your character in a positive way that stays with you for life! 🌞

      2. I guess you find out your mettle?.. And she has at least a bit more than me, at age 9.😄 My son has natal Saturn conjunct his Virgo ascendant, opposite his Moon conjunct his Pisces descendant. He loves (ancient Roman) (and all) history, structures, reading the sports section of newspapers, his cat, and is very loyal, solemn and mature for his young age. (Oh, almost forgot! He’s a sun Cap, too – at same degree as Sat-Pluto conjunction of 2020.🙄👽) I guess he does Saturn cos’ he hasn’t a choice?? ☺ So glad to read your experiences always, Calcifer!! 🤗 X

      3. Yes, it sounds like your son does his Saturn because he was ’gifted’ with a lot of Saturn at birth… Good for perspective 🙂 Astrologer Linda Goodman used to say that people with a lot of Saturn in their horoscopes tend to get more youthful as they get older. A gift from Saturn, a reward for bearing so much responsibility all their lives. Couldn’t say if it is true, but it sure is something I wish for them 🎁

      4. I feel like that is happening with me. I have Saturn square my sun, Saturn square my moon, Saturn square my Mars and so on. I’m approaching 50 in September 22 and I am feeling something beneficial from the alienation and fragmentation I have lived with all my life. There’s a feeling of the weight of Saturn starting to lift with the certainty of mortality and how equalising that is. I’m not saying I have no bitterness or residual feelings of “life isn’t fair because I am special and different and have been somehow robbed etc” because of course, like everyone that shit runs rampant in my head if I let it. It’s more a realisation that we all have burdens and, tragedy and grief and the opportunity this provides for connection with community. That is the piece that’s been missing for me. It may be connected with my north node (2nd house Capricorn) but it’s randomly started happening through volunteering to redistribute free food that would otherwise be binned for large companies. I’m doing a silly amount of regular and the odd covering shifts for other volunteers and they take an entire day, sometimes two days to complete. Something about providing for people who are either in reduced circumstances or simply being frugal *trines* with the Jupiter rising and sag moon rising maybe. The Virgo stellium adores the hard physical graft of shlepping literal shedloads of food in a cargo trailer attached to my bike, doing the inventory, photographing and listing the food and answering messages from people requesting it, doing the food bags and just handing it over. It’s feeding me. There’s a cliché in the story somewhere and I hate it. I mean eye rolls all around seriously. But it’s boosting my north node I can feel it and it’s giving me haute Saturn vibes and I’m rich. You feel me? I’m rich AF and youthful too. Bountiful and lucky. My legs are so buff from the cycling and my helmet creates the perfect all day mullet. Previously my two front cowlicks prevented me from wearing any kind of a fringe / bangs but now, see even the Venus in Leo is stoked. I’m able to disguise my permanent hot flashes and the resulting inability to keep any makeup from staying on my face too. So yea win win. Saturn giveth and Saturn taketh away 🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐 🪐

      5. Cripes I love your comments, Invicta. Feeling your feels, all the way on other side of world. Keep writing pls XOO

      6. I’ve “always” known it was Saturn or a basic sense of having roots in a community and more globally that was missing. The direction was always obvious but not the way.
        That was revealed through personal struggle and becoming part of a structure. I joined the app because I couldn’t afford to buy food by the 15th of any given month and would try extended fasts but be burned out after 5 days. Of course I wouldn’t dream of not buying fabric and a sewing machine because priorities right? But somehow I got suckered into this role that changed all my interactions with people in my neighbourhood. I’m extremely insecure and egotistical. I’m also astonishingly vain and being unemployed and poor was so so so depressing and that made me resist any kind of social interactions which became circular. An oroborial head fuq.

      7. You just painted the clearest, most crisp blue sky picture in my mind. 💖💙 Invicta – you are so not egotistical. Nor vain. You can’t perceive, then write with that level of alacrity, honesty and nuance – least of all, about yourself! without enormous grace & humility – and maybe that is your baseline state of being, instead the insecurity – although I am sure your acute awareness of life, the human condition and others around you means you are all too perceptive when you have brushes of these feelings come over you – and we ALL do !! But it doesn’t mean you are a narcissist – just that you recognise any acts/feelings of that kind immediately in everyone around you, incl. yourself. I am so sorry for your suffering up until now. 🙌💖 People (of our parent’s generation) did not know how to cherish children, I find (accidentally or not) (at least – that was my experience, but then my Grandmother was love-incarnate.) (I think we are the same gen). I was in that same space of financial lack, years ago – while working full-time, too!??. I still don’t know how I pulled myself out of it, but I know it was something to do with conquering terror and relying on myself (v Saturn) (20 odd years ago). You sound much, much more grounded. But mostly am so happy you are finding yourself, and I hope, loving yourself too. You have a beautiful brain, and are a great writer, and while I know those comments aren’t fabric or food, I hope you still find them acceptable. 💗

      8. Beautiful Invicta! Beautiful your description of receiving through giving. Blessings to you 🌞

      9. Thank you. I don’t ever feel like doing it. It’s very Saturn in that I wake up every day I’ve committed to doing a collection and think “ Today I have to do that thing I hate doing. “ but it’s voluntary so I don’t have to do it really, but if I don’t my opinion of myself will plummet. Letting these people down isn’t the issue, it’s for myself. But it’s the clearest experience of belonging and of Saturn. This belonging I didn’t get from my family and I didn’t get it from all the other desperate attempts to improve the way I’m perceived by others. There is so much more joy in the obvious and mundane than I realised. Oh and Saturn is opposite my Venus this year and isn’t that a classic manifestation of the transit. My progressed Venus is in Libra so it fits that way too. I’m still incredibly vain though and devious and selfish. Don’t put me on a pedestal Earthstar, this was all mostly Saturn’s doing. Also I’m a terrible blog hog. Here we all are though. 🤗

    2. OMG! same here .. I have Mars and Jupiter in Aquarius, and yes, the crunching, no buoyancy. Talk about slow .. A job I was interviewing for just old me a ‘No’ after dragging me round since August!

      1. Best of luck with the Saturn transit, Ic! It is somehow so comforting to read that others struggle with this transit too… Especially as Saturn can feel so isolating and lonely! I am sure something better will come along for you jobwise, if you keep at it, Saturn usually brings its rewards 🍀

    1. Sorry this is so off topic, I did look up Saturn Serum before I clocked it was witty Mystic at work, lol. I want some! I want my yesterday’s tomorrow.. today!! Do wonder what you lovely Astro B!tches think of these covid vax rates by zodiac sign. Personally I am not keen on covax for my part, and as a Leo, I can only assume my Scorpio moon is what truly governs my actions – if not my personality: “According to the graphic, 70% of those with the Leo sign are fully vaccinated, followed by Aquarius at 67%, and Aries and Sagittarius both at 59%. The other signs range from 58% to 50%, in descending order: Cancer, Taurus, Gemini, Libra, Pisces, Capricorn, and Virgo. Scorpio sits at the bottom of the list, with 46% fully vaccinated”. So obvs given that Scorpio and Virgo rule health and surgery I can see them being extraordinarily cautious about any such interventions. They do not appreciate being coralled and are aware of their body’s needs? Scorpios are suspicious of everything anyway, right? Leo’s need to protect their fragile egos and virtue signal ostentatiously (I say this as a Leo. Aquarius are fraternal and communal, the good of society might take precedent over their own petty needs in their imagination. Maybe Aries/Sagg are just concerned with their own freedoms, less than abstract notions of freedom like Libra, requiring freedom of movement before freedom from mandates. Pisces is interesting, they are often intuitive about things. Capricorn as Saturn Ruled, I can only assume are quite aware of qui bono and question from that perspective.

      1. Thanks for this, sphinx! so interesting considering it’s in a medical trade mag. I loved reading the the comments at the end which were mainly derisive, except this one by Dr A Zigarra:

        “That study is interesting, but it is biased, since whoever has a birth sign (Leo or Scorpio), also has other astrological influences such as the ascendant, hyleg, ruler (planets) of the ascendant. The planet Jupiter has been related to vaccines, it would be necessary to see its position in the natal chart (which is not Horoscopy). Please open mind and investigate the influence of the cosmos on human life”.

        Jupiter connected to vaccines?? Can someone here enlighten on this?

        Also i love this comment re Scorpios (which i v much vibe with) :

        “Scorpios, often rather secretive themselves, are also very adept at seeing through the secrets of others. Nothing will set off alarm bells like coercion, censorship and strict control of the narrative. They will search & dig until they find out what others don’t want them to know. This can set up feelings of betrayal, and fascination with conspiracy.  
        Honesty, free speech and freedom to decide their own fate will put them at ease, and you may even gain a loyal partner to your cause.”  

      2. Thanks for responding, I was so excited! Very cool, I didn’t read the comments, I liked those two you pulled up. It is true, we are not looking at those other influences, but hey, we take what we can get from a zine directed at medicos who are prideful about their corner of reality. I love that this person is likely a Scorpio. I have no idea what Jupiter has to do with vaccines? I read that as we are in Metal Ox energy, the metal of the needle (also the metals present in the vaccines, including graphine oxide) is well represented in the energy of the zeitgeist. I found the meaning of ‘hyleg’ which I hadn’t heard: “The ruler of health, commonly termed “Hyleg” is either the Sun, Moon or the Ascendant, and is found by the following method: after erecting the figure for the desired time, first, see if the Sun is located in the 1st, 7th, 10th or 11th houses of the figure, if so it must be taken for the ruler of health, but if the Sun is not located in these houses then look to the Moon, should it be in any of the above houses it will rule the health; but should neither Sun or Moon be found in any of the above houses, then the ascendant will rule the health.” https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/A_Treatise_on_Medical_Astrology I have some reading to do!

      3. That is such a great link, thank you! Almost missed it. It’s such a shame that it takes about 2-3 days for links to clear past the censor.
        Interesting take on Jupiter & metal/needles – this will taint my view of Jupe forever now, LOL. I also read that Jupe is associated with the vaccines because it’s when it entered Aqua that they started administering them: 19th-20th Dec 2020 – during the time of the Great Conjunction of Jupe-Saturn. Apparently to do with Jupe highlighting the necessity of group participation to achieve a common goal; & also the emphasis on science & civic duty esp with Saturn already cohabiting in Aqua.
        Agree with reading so much info, but dunno if my poor eyes will cope with too much more.

      4. Yes! It is awkward to answer questions with such a lapse in my poor Mercury in Cancer’s impressionistic focus. Saturn in Aqua, so right! I don’t know that Jupiter is related to metals, but I definitely believe the hype factor of Jupiter can push things out of perspective. Good luck with your eyes!

      5. I haven’t read the article but I read the comments above and the idea of Jupiter being connected with vaccines made total sense intuitively.

  8. I misread “Saturn Serum” drops as “Saturn Return” drops!🤣
    …”Take just two. It will be the making of you..” 😉💪

    1. I appease Saturn by knitting/gardening/researching history (he loves “heirloom”?). Seems to work – but yeah, the tooth factor. *Ouch*

      1. Yeah, must admit so many heroes of mine are Caps. But it’s different for them – they’re born unto Saturn – though even their fun looks like hard work, FFS.
        i think Slash is Leo all the way, babes, (just look at his HAIR 😉 )

  9. Huh. Just realized I’ve been having Saturn square my Mars/Pluto conjunction in Scorpio… lol no wonder I keep signing up for extra study groups, etc. Still don’t have that daily routine down. Could really use this serum. Now is this topical or internal ?

  10. I need this so bad. I knew it was fiction but still googled anyway, just in case lol. Next year I have “the worst transit” Saturn square my Moon, as well as Saturn opposite my Sun and Saturn conjunct my North Node. Fun times, can’t wait.

    Also “Enjoy Yesterday’s Tomorrow” had me dead 💀

    1. You will probably rise to the occasion, Enkidu. At least that is my experience with Saturn transits.,You will find strength you did not know you had and you will get stronger… But it is usually hard work and very tiring

      1. So true, Calcifer. I find Saturn usually visits me in the form of people, too – and yes, they get more endearing the older I get – LOL !! XOO

      2. I think my husband qualifies as a Saturn person, he has his Moon and Saturn in Capricorn. We have been working together a lot on my new house and he is a taskmaster indeed! 🪐

      3. Saturn in Capricorn must be so Saturn-y!😂 Same as Saturn in Taurus – have known more than a few of those, and I so love their steadfast stoicism – I reckon the Ancient Greek Spartans had a few Saturn in earth signs, huh?? They are always there for you in a crisis, unflappable – even if they might gently infer/say, post-crisis “choose better, next time!” 😑 Bet your husband is a steadfast rock C – he and your house ! X

    2. I’m about to finish up a 9-month transit of Saturn to my Moon, and I won’t pretend that it’s been easy. But I made structural changes to my life (still in process) that will be better for my health in the long term. I think I was also Saturn in many ways to others during this time.

      It has been an easier transit than the last one of Saturn square Moon, because of some supportive transits from Jupiter, Neptune, and Pluto to my chart this year. (Uranus has been going bonkers squaring my Midheaven.) Check out what those outer planets are doing in your chart as Saturn pays its visit.

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