The Astrology Of Space Births

My initial thought upon seeing this was Space Births Astrology. 2024 is one of the dates being cited for this, um, venture. So the first Space Baby would have Pluto in Aquarius. Of course. The other date mentioned – 2028 – would give Space Baby Neptune in Aries and Uranus in Gemini as well. But how would you do the birth chart of this baby?

Then I thought Holy Hecate, Egbert – what sort of fuqery is this?! There are women giving birth in unsafe situations or experiencing sub-optimal pregnancies without proper support all over the planet. Why spend one cent on Space Birthing until that is sorted out? Is this like a gigantic onanistic enterprise? Spaceturbation? Then I scanned my consciousness for bias. Am I letting the fact that Egbert cannot physically give birth himself cloud my judgment of his Space Birth concept?

Or is it that the team, below, look as if they might mansplain your vagina to you and then invoice you for the privilege? See the Sun Signs As Space Tourists for a concept of how that could work out.

Egbert Edelbroek is the frontman for the company. The C.E.O. stalked off recently over “serious ethical concerns.”  So now it is all up to Egbert, an innovative serial entrepreneur, and scientist.”

He has built a broad academic and expert network that keeps expanding rapidly. Egbert received his Ph.D. for his research on courage development in organizations, combining the ability to connect large amounts of data, solid analytical power, and a strong helicopter-view. Egbert is best known for innovative thought power and his strategic networking skills.

 

Irritatingly, I cannot find Egbert’s birth details but one of his partners in this venture is Jeffrey Hayzlett – a Scorpio with Moon in Leo. He is a “global business celebrity” and the author of Think Big, Act Bigger – The Rewards Of Being Relentless. He was on Celebrity Apprentice for three seasons and says “the most dangerous move in business is the failure to make a move.

Imagine being stuck in space, giving birth with these guys as your doulas. Or, as the project is already pivoting to test tubes – women being strangely reluctant to get involved – having your offspring owned by them. Your baby would be leveraged and upscaled into collateral derivatives before they’d even cut the umbilical cord. Or awarded themselves a doctorate in Space Innovation.

Thoughts?

Update: I still can’t find Egbert’s birth details or even a birthday but I did find this in the MIT Technology Review: “Egbert Edelbroek was acting as a sperm donor when he first wondered whether it’s possible to have babies in space.” I see.

51 thoughts on “The Astrology Of Space Births”

  1. Well golly, I have so many thoughts on this!
    Firstly, cosmic radiation – yes, the earth has some lovely protective qualities, if you don’t like the idea of a baby, just radiate it at birth, in space! (It is more glamorous that way). Secondly, fertility: If you don’t want grandbabies, radiate your child at birth (in space!). Freezing your eggs or sperm is the norm for astronauts. Also do YOU want your baby to just “grow up”? Well you can prematurely age your baby, by giving birth to him in space! Just cook ’em a little. “Astronauts report a range of problems when they are at zero gravity in a condition known as ‘space flight syndrome.’ It causes bone mass loss and accelerated ageing of cells.” Want a cute toddler with little specs? “Around 80 per cent of male astronauts have experienced some kind of reported visual impairment after around six to eight weeks in space. The majority need glasses when they comes back to Earth.” So yay for micro-gravity and radiation. Egbert Edelbroek sounds like a killer name for a sociopath space doctor. Given how ‘smart’ he is, presumably he knows the above and is actually trying to achieve the goal of limiting the earth’s population via ejecting pregnant women off the planet into orbit.

  2. Creepy!! But since the US “elected” this current feckin’ eejit, giving maniacal business entrepreneurs a chance to come further out of the shadows, my idea of just how whacky human beings can get has had to expand. (Jupiter in Sag?) As you point out, choosing a novelty space-birthing scheme over creating global sanitation for earthling mothers just about takes the cake.

  3. Ewww. “global business celebrity”. What the heck is THAT? He plays with other people’s money? No thank you. Yes, you’d probably have to sign kinds of marketing and right to image agreements. Yuck.
    And I agree with previous comments- who wants to “travel” in that condition?

    1. Who wants to conceive and give birth in that condition? Mind you, probably some poor but not gainfully (meaningfully) employed sleb or naive young influencer. May the generations of women meet organically and with tech warmth through curiosity! By Isis, by Hathor, by Bastet and with all the pieces of Osiris xxxxx

  4. Also, Mystic … so eloquent. I had to look up onanistic. Knew it was akin to onanism, but had to be sure. Fiesty and cerebral at the same time. Definitely writing inspo for today!

  5. What a tool. This sounds like a ploy for investment and then a loooong R&D that produces nothing, then filing for bankruptcy with the funds syphoned off to some shell company.

    It does make me wonder though what kind of influence Earth in a chart would have. Like if/when people start being born on Mars. What would it mean to have Earth rising and to have no Mars?

    1. Yes, this is an interesting astrological question. Given that the planets are all in different degrees and our modern take on astro is guided by that fixed math (at least at a high level) how does it change the concept of being x,y,z sign? And yesss, especially, what if you have Earth rising? Where is your moon? What about your Sun sign? How would one determine their rising sign?

      Also, moving the creepy, cyperpunk / Handmaid’s Tale aspect of usurping women’s reproductive rights aside, if we do start living in space over the next decade or so, how will that change the practice of astrology overall? What will the standards be, and will they use “old” books from Earth as the foundation, but re-write them for the new planetary realities?

      Ohhh Alouetta, this could be the foundation of a sci-fi series!

      1. OHH THOUGHT EXPERIMENT

        Women’s reproduction in space is manifested (?) When Pluto reaches Virgo. It’s only about 160 years away, which gives everyone enough time to iron out the problems
        OR the first forays are with Uranus in virgo. Health tech. That’s about 30 years
        So in that case maybe Pluto in virgo signifies a shift

        I mean what happened for the Pluto in virgo before the last one? Like the 1600s ish Historically speaking

        Also, plot twist!!!
        What if Virgo’s planet is EARTH not mercury, buuuut, but this assignation can only begin after the first Mars (or non-Earth) birth.

  6. Why give birth anywhere anyway i say.

    Yes i’m also tired of the world being driven by men, the word ‘tedious’ come to mind.

  7. I wonder how Egbert’s courage research compares to Brene Brown’s? I’m really tired of the world being driven by men.

    1. He gets the credit for the idea but it’s the women who would do all the real work lol as guinea pigs with their lives on the line, some things never change?

  8. You ask for thoughts. First off. Bleurgh.
    Second. Who in their right mind in the last twenty four hours of pregnancy with puffy ankles and all would you want to go countdown blast off, unless the G force will help the contractions and baby literally falls out !
    Third. This idea is definitely from a bloke
    Fourth. Sigorney weaver et al all seemed to have rather too much excitement in space and rather unprecedented C section procedures.
    This is not for me. I’ll pass

    1. Hehehehe… ‘rather unprecedented c section procedures’ … Indeed.
      Yes men maketh life a scary place to be sometimes, with their astro turf and their clinical motherless babymaking plans. So focussed on the result they’ve lost importance of the soul completely. I guess that’s why they can do things like have sex with blow-up dolls.
      Where is the love?

  9. (that face in the foto … that is the face of a space spiv if ever i’ve seen one)

    After reading some related articles on creating radiation-resistant humans, what i get is that the first human woman to give birth in space would be the “Eve” for the following space generations. And she could also technically be a virgin.

      1. Yeah, best bit is not part of the deal though. Way too messy – has to be clinical and sterile. The immaculate conception.

  10. Nuts! but said babe would go down in the history books (or whatever is beyond google) Bit sad when you think of the money that could be used to educate about and repair rectocele. I hope its a girl.

  11. i’m just wondering how they cope with the zero gravity situation during, like, actual birth? but also maybe it would actually be kind of comfortable when you’re super pregnant (hearsay, idk myslef) because you’re just floating everywhere

    he’d have a 6-point Relentless plan to hustle you out of your post-natal depression too no doubt.

    that bro-tastic energy is quite repellent, it’s the boring presentation as much as anything

    ohhh you’d have to have some pretty cool laws around the baby’s citizenship, a la plane births but even wierder, maybe the country that owns (or operates) the space station? is your place of birth a set of coordinates rather than a city

    mind you as a concept it would be blissfully free of awful pregnancy art / graphics, and you woulsn’t have to field 3254 sms’s about baby specs so that’s a plus and i would consider getting pregnant and giving birth in space just to avoid all the cringey baby everything. IMAGINE THE COOL PHOTOS #nopumpkins #spacebaby
    Oh maybe that’s Uranus in my scorpio ruled 5th house, lol. imagine having earth rising. or earth (ok Gaia) on your MC pretty cool huh

      1. Yeah but baby would not want to come out anyway, Aqua or no, it’s like the opposite of Uranus in Taurus, as weird as that must be for the primal earthy folk. “It’s space! That means freedom! Stop making our Uranian realm quotidian. And no tilt-up concrete with flat-pack furniture.”

  12. Most of our innovation comes from computer games or space exploration incl the new tyres that will never wear out (they were created for Mars Rover but may stop us from having dead tyres in landfill). I’m all for space exploration. Not sure about this Egbert guy tho LOL

  13. pretty sure babies born in the absence of gravity or with less gravity would not tolerate earths gravity… kind of limits that person’s options in life!

  14. Apparently the WHY behind this venture is: “If humanity wants to become a multi-planetary species, we also need to learn how to reproduce in space.”

    (See Egbert’s shared Linkedin article re: SpaceLife Origin’s Missions Program 2020-2024 in order to secure future human generations beyond Earth. https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/spacelife-origin-announces-human-conception-space-edelbroek?articleId=6461235113555558400#comments-6461235113555558400&trk=public_profile_article_view )

    1. “we” … except he means “women” lol. So naturally we (women) would be the bad guys if we vote No to off-planet births.
      Also, I believe he may not have truly absorbed that we (again, women, crazy how we keep cropping up there huh) would bear 100% of the risk.

      1. Word, Pi. I think it’s just a thinly veiled attempt to regain the control momentum over women again, future in space or not.

        1. yeah built-in patriarchy!

          Maybe he is trying to seize the means of …reproduction. it’s all very blade runner 2049
          With apologies to Marx haha

      2. It must suck being born a man with all these great ideas for women. Especially for a controlling Scorpio. With a Leo moon! Ha. Sucks to him in a man’s body. “I’ve got such great ideas! Why will no one listen to meeeeee?!!!!”

  15. Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot

    This is like the polar opposite of witchy-womyn-wise-birthing wisdom.

    Let’s leave the sanctity of Mother Earth/Gaia, for the confines of a man-made-metal rocket so some smug bastard can make a name for himself and $$$.

    I feel in the light of this fuqery that tribal birthing circles will make a comeback.

    I feel truly sorry for any women who might be in Egbert’s life, as I can only imagine him pressuring her to “be the first to give birth in space”.

    Surely gravity helps women give birth!? not to mention dealing with contractions etc.

    1. “This is like the polar opposite of witchy-womyn-wise-birthing wisdom.”

      Exactly.

      I say we leave this dude up in space. I think my Lilith’s showing lol

    2. Yes also wondering about vulnerable women moving in rich, competitive circles in his orbit. Sorry about ‘orbit’ pun, not meant, just came out and no better words at the mo.

    3. I wonder about the impacts of zero gravity on things like blood pressure. And what if (assuming that it’s not advised to experience a space shuttle launch while pregnant) her pregnancy turns out to be high risk? What if she needs emergency surgery? And that’s not even considering the logistics of regular(?) birth scenarios. How do you breastfeed a baby in space? Or manage boobs if the baby is straight onto formula? How does microgravity affect healing ? Oh I want to be a fly on the wall at if he presents this at an obstetrics conference or something

  16. WHYYYY????? Because…… another tech start up!!! Of course it’s a tech start up cause they would be an app for that. SMH…. we are made by gravity, babies born in its absence? What can possibly go wrong!

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