Hi-Lo Astro: Haute Capricorn – Low Capricorn


SMART: Capricorns can hound offspring to find lost library books, plan menus for the dinner party, and compose a speech to the nation, all at the same time and all without the slightest stress in their mind. They have a lengthy to-do list dancing around in their head at any one time and, unlike certain other signs, all are feasible. All get done.

SEXY: Capricorn appeal is modern, snazzy, and always together. Already a sensual Earth sign like Taurus and Virgo, Capricorn adds the worldly wit and magnetism that is the gift of Saturn. Capricorns are elegantly ribald and able to conduct flirtations and romances in an appealing grown-up and sophisticated style. They get more attractive the more mature they get.

AMBITIOUS: No matter how well certain Capricorns (comic actors Howard Stern, Jim Carrey, Tracey Ullman) disguise themselves as ditsy free spirits imbued with divine carelessness, they are extremely pragmatic. Weirdness is a well-considered career move. They are expert at energy conservation and will not get worked up about anything unless they’re going to get really worked up. Then they reach out and sue someone. Capricorns are here on earth to create structure. They do it in their day jobs, they do it in their ultimate career plan, and they do it in their daily life. They have an awesome ability for grind, toil, mentoring and that science of networking.

CLASSY: Capricorns find salvation in the details. Flowers say so much about a person, particularly if they are just that moment in season or very difficult to grow. They don’t necessarily have great aesthetic instincts – they take the time to study design or areas they are interested in. Eg: Using the flower example, a Capricorn garden will be a planned and referenced style statement with an underlying ecological philosophy.

As Capricorn author Quentin Crisp wrote,  “most people are at present content to cherish their mere identity. This is not enough. Our identity is just a group of ill-assorted characteristics that we happen to be born with. Like our fingerprints, if they are noticed at all, they will probably be used against us. You have to polish up your raw identity into a lifestyle so that you can barter with the outside world for what you want. This polishing process makes your life so formal that, by comparison, the life of a Trappist monk is an orgy.”

COOL: These people are blessed with enviable calmness. They can cope with the most full-on stress event without stressing out. It’s one of the reasons they’re so sought after and successful. The stiff-upper-lip ideal was coined with Capricorns in mind. They’re glacially cool and always in control.

TENACIOUS: No matter what the conditions are like at the beginning, Capricorns can claw their way out of some swamp to create the life most desired. Many of them have astonishing “before” pics tucked away. Or, more likely destroyed.

“When the president does it, that means it isn’t illegal…” Former U.S. President Richard Nixon.


CREEPY: What do you say after you say hello? Capricorns could try not saying or implying “what have you done for me lately?” Or, “I’d like to take a few minutes of your time to discuss an exciting business opportunity…” A Capricorn can literally act as if you did not exist for years. And then, when you hit the news with your invention which would have sold for an undisclosed amount of money believed to be in the vicinity of trillions, guess who’s first to make contact? Remember that the Capricorn motto is “I use” and they will. They are particularly good at harbouring their own resources while shamelessly cadging off those of others. They get away with this by giving off straight vibes and making everyone else appear quite flaky in comparison. When asked for help, they won’t help. But they’ll always have a variety of sensible excuses. You feel embarrassed for even asking.

DISHONEST: They can justify anything. Embezzlement of funds? Just an unauthorised loan. Faked your doctorate? They were simply trying to better themselves. That lollipop? The baby dropped it. Capricorns are enormously judgmental about the foibles of other people, but blessed with deep reservoirs of understanding for their own less-than-candid outings. They lie in order to bolster their own position, avoid some nasty truth about themselves emerging, get out of giving you back the book they borrowed (“Oh no, that’s not your book-it’s mine, I’ve had it since I was a child!”), undermine an opponent, destablise a lover’s self-confidence, or aggrandize their career. The one thing they don’t do is lie for leisure or to embellish a story and make it funnier. Capricorns always have a motive, which excuses the fib in their own computer-like minds.

SELFISH: Capricorn self-interest is so over the top that it can be literally alarming. Should you or your agenda not fit the vicious Cap world view or clash with an ambition of the Capricorn’s – guess who’s suddenly enemy number one, to be rolled at the earliest opportunity? That’s right. You. Everyone knows about fight or flight; Capricorns have elaborated the choice to fight, flight, or groom themselves to mate with the victor.

SNOBBY: Caps work so hard to be somebody. They replace shabby friends just as ruthlessly as they edit their underwear drawer. Hollywood legend Cary Grant used to be an Archibald Leach. Note how his roles carefully branded him as a wealthy, witty, and well-bred catch. There is no such thing as casual Capricorn entertaining. It simply does not count as an occasion if it doesn’t involve catering, sandblasting, unsustainable debt, and an anxiety attack. Even if their job requires them to wear a name tag, Capricorn will still be completely full of it, judgmental, and petty about people’s position in life. Whether it’s name-dropping, paranoia about whether or not Capricorn is “keeping up” or naked attempts at social one-upmanship, Capricorn is there.

71 thoughts on “Hi-Lo Astro: Haute Capricorn – Low Capricorn”

  1. i have a big dislike for capricorns. they can be nice when they want to be or when they want something. but when they’ve got what they want or you cant offer what they want, they will ditch you and come out with the most ridiculous blatent lie which often twists the blame onto the other person in an attempt to make the innocent party guilty.
    i wouldnt call them gold diggers but they arent far off being one.
    it seems to me that they are very selfish and only what they want matters and will make you out to be the bad guy should you ever dare to want anything.
    they are also VERY hyopcritical, eg if they want a cuddle and affection.. its okay. if you want the same, your accused of being clingy and likely get dumped.
    they can be insecure and judgemental.

    my advice is to be very careful if involved with one. if you want one to leave you alone, get across that you have little money, crap job, rubbish house or are poorly paid and very irresponsible e.t.c they will run so fast! then ask them why they bolted and watch them lie and squirm, they have a very very guilty look on their face everytime they lie and they cant hide it.

  2. It’s so nice to see the POSITIVE as well as the NEGATIVE about my sign for a change. All I ever read and see from people seems to be the negative, and I know so many Capricorns who strive so hard to be on the high side. It’s a shame that so often we’re expected to be the “adult” and the standards for our behaviors are set so much higher than everyone else’s that people forget that we are fallible, human and just doing the best we can, just like everyone else in this sad world. Thanks for at least one balanced view.

  3. M, high Cap ambition description makes me curious as to how preceding Sun signs interconnect with each other.. becoz the ambitious Haut Cap as you’ve related seems to me very like an Aqua who’s learnt a few lessons…perhaps thats the way things have gone of late…where the G.Gecko of recent past is now perhaps hopelessly redundant….

    1. Me too as that is my moon 🙂

      Although.. my ex (suitably grumbled at in another post) is a Cap and acting a little on the low side now all the while not being straight. I would say our particular combined low behaviour was him loading the bow and me firing the arrows and then getting the blame for firing. Sigh.. seems like he’s trying to resurrect an old game. Yawns.. bored.

  4. sag sun/gem moon/taurus rising

    whoa so ridiculously true.

    my first boyfriend was a double capriciorn. v. v. selfish.
    when we were talking about breaking up, he was like ‘i don’t want to have failed at another relationship.” as the reason we should stay together.

    but then later dumped me for my best friend.


  5. Oooh and another thing I felt was RIGHT ON, Mystic, was the reference to the destruction of old pics.That’s me. I don’t have any from teenage years. In my own eyes, I was a horrid bespectacled, braces-wearing ginger girl in a sea of tanned blondes, thus I made sure all prints and negatives were destroyed. (See, back in ye olden days, kids, we didn’t have digital whats-its like today.)

    I really don’t like photos unless they represent me “well” (as in, how I’m happy to see myself represented). I’ll go into full on tantrum/ panic/ bawling my eyes out mode if I can’t get rid of a pic. It’s sad because I think the pics might not be that bad (the ones I’ve destroyed) if I saw them now – but Cap pride really kicks in when it comes to photographs.

    Once again, an odd Cap contradiction – I do acting stuff which sometimes involves commercial print campaigns. I have no control over these images which can be quite ego-crushing when you see the ugly final product out there in the world alongside images of soopah-models and slebs. Why do I put myself through it? Cap self-torture?? A heightened sense of achievement due to the public exposure, therefore it overrides the image issue? Dunno…

  6. Double Capricorn-here, having a spiritual practice helps. Taking Responsibility is the only way out. I have done some things that were not nice. I learned!!!!! Some things were out of ignorance. Some were low. I choose the high road. I think Cause and Effect took care of the stuff . There is always a price. Mystic you are very right on !!!!! You can always count on a cap. to be there if you call.

  7. I do love a good haute cap. One of my dearest friends is Cappy and such an engaging mix of self interest and generosity I have never seen elsewhere. If you thanked her for something she would brush it off with a comment that she did it for herself, and you kind of believed her!

    She was useless at small talk, but she could sit at a bar, slit her eyes and smoulder and men would flock about her like virgins on the edge of a volcano… And her clothing style was seriously atrocious, but somehow it didn’t matter, she exuded a seriously, sexy authority that made a certain kind of man gasp.

    A good cappy is a class act.

  8. OUCH! But yeah, that’s us alright. No wonder we Caps find reasons to hate ourselves at every turn of the corner…

  9. One of my uncles is the lowest of low Capricorns……filthy rich banker…but always on the mooch ….unethical as hell, and seems quite proud of it….even boasts of all the cons he`s pulled.

  10. Haha, so true Mystic!

    I love my Capricorn bestie 8) who btw is having a birthday today & I will be seeing tomorrow for big catch up… & big wines. 😀

  11. Well I always thought my ex was a Leo with Sagg rising (his mother very hazy on time of birth), but I would say that he encompasses all the low Cap characteristics and has definitely employed underhandedness, selfishness, federal offences such as opening one’s mail and using it in court against you, and straight out lying in our most recent legal stoush.
    So I would say his mother has put his time of birth a tad early and he is probably a Cappy rising.

    1. And also, his first response when I told him I wanted to separate? Not “what about the kids”, “what about what we had etc”, but “This will set me back 2-3 years”.
      Way to feel completely used for advancing his life plan.

      1. That is truly horrid for you, SPMALR! You should’ve replied “only 2 – 3 years? Damn, I was hoping for 10.”

  12. Oooh, finallly a hi-lo Cap list! Love you, Mystic!!!!

    As a Sun/ Merc/ Venus Cap, I do have a few oddities of my own that I’d like to add…

    I can’t flirt. Just can’t do it. Actually, I”m quite socially awkward but get away with stuff by acting witty, hyper, etc. But I’d just rather be alone. I guess the “weirdness” thing is what I play up to cover my imagined inadequacy… And I HATE feeling inadequate.

    I’m not a cool cap. I’m the stress princess! Anxiety-laden, sleepless, worry wart – that’s me. I can’t be suave. I tend to walk into walls and spill drinks down my front. And yet I look down my nose at others who do. Oops.

    I don’t want to have children for fear of becoming a snooty psycho monster for whom nothing is good enough. I’m terrified I’ll tell little snookums that “no, Mummy doesn’t like your finger painting. It’s just not art. Gynniie-Lou’s is so much better. You’re better than her, aren’t you?”

    Self-interest. Yep. Selfish. Totally. What’s yours is mine and what’s mine is… just mine, thanks. I’m really really nice most of the time but oddly, when it comes to close personal relationships, I get really icy. Don’t care if you’re going through a crisis, I need to finish this page of reading I’m doing. I hate getting interrupted. I’m soooo impatient when it comes to others – and yet I’m quite instinctively empathetic and helpful. I’ll be the first on the scene if a stranger hurts themselves or drops something. I’m a little girl scout of courtesy and care… with ppl I’m not close to.

    Because I hate ppl getting close. Up go the walls. I just don’t like having an emotional outburst/ confiding in someone because the next day, inevitably, I just feel icky and wish I’d never said anything. But friendships are so important to me. I’d never ditch a friend for not being “someone” nor toady up to anyone because they are. How awful.

    I hate working for other ppl, regardless of how much it pays. Yet can work on my own projects for years without a break or pay (as I’m doing now with my writing project.) Tenacious, yes, ambitious, yes, but materialistic, nah. I save my money and treat every cent like a diamond – and I love it when other ppl pay 😉

    But I know plenty of bitch-troll, pretentious Caps who are abhorrent and I thankfully don’t aspire to that. I must thank my Cancer moon and Libra rising for giving me some perspective.

    1. Stress Princess, love your honesty about your own Cap tendancies! I wonder if putting up walls and boundaries to limit emotional closeness has something to do with your Saturn placement and its aspects? Could it be squaring off against your nurturing Cancer Moon?

      1. Hmmm, I’m not astro-gifted enough to figure stuff like that out!

        Saturn is 15 Cancer, 10th house. Moon in 28 Cancer, 10th house.
        Sun (Cap 3rd house) , Merc/ Venus (4th) all opposing Saturn.

        Would love to know how to overcome this boredom/ ick factor/ snootiness that kicks in with close relationships. It’s so odd because I’m terribly nuturing and beyond accommodating when it comes to animals and plants. Why can’t I translate that to ppl, I wonder??

        I guess this is the fun I face with Pluto in Cap. Face all my fears, take some serious plunges and hopefully experience positive, joy-inducing change. Especially if I can ditch my terrible fear of ppl, failure and criticism. It really fuqs with my otherwise healthy Cappy ambition!

      2. Thank you, Oh Astro Nat. Wonderfully kind of you to take the time to help me! 🙂

        It’s very interesting that you say Saturn is restricting my emotions. Keeping them in check in case I change my mind, maybe? That’d be Cap pragmatism too. Always keep a receipt so you can take it back!

        Ta muchly for your info! xxx

    2. LibrabutAriesontheRise

      I’m surprised money hasn’t come up more explicitly in these posts, actually, because I’ve never known a Cappie without money issues in some form or other – generally either uber uber tight – splitting restaurant bills down to the cent, will come to ‘lunch’ with you, but eat at home so they don’t have to buy any food out, so you’re left sitting there eat while they watch, will always try to get you to pay, even when you’re on a quarter the income that they’re on, miserly with money in any situation, etc; or ridiculously generous, for example where they insist on paying for every single restaurant meal. I know one Cappie who is so bad at hogging the bill, you have to pretend to go to the toilet but then sneak up to the counter to pay before she gets a chance. I’ve even had her secretly give CC details to the waiter at the start, so you can’t possibly pay. But I’ve never known a Cappie with a balanced view on dosh.

    3. I’m a Libran and was reading through that thinking there’s a lotta Libra in here somewhere only I wasn’t thinking of it in terms of giving you perspective – it sounds like it may be contributing to the stress princess. I love your honesty whatever causes the things you refer to as lo – there’s nothing better than a person who acknowledges their flaws – fingers crossed the Libra ascendant allow you to balance that by acknowledging your Hi cap qualities cos not often is a person entirely Lo.

    4. This is so refreshing! I guess the walls can come down on this blog! Made me think of my cap sister in regard to the horror of sharing the private self. Interestingly she spends her life counselling others, listening to other peoples probs perhaps alleviates the need to share her own.

    5. I see a lot of my sister in your post so much so are you really her? lol. I’ve never known anyone to be able to save whilst doing a stint on the dole.

  13. Tati, do you know how hard it is to find hard-working, intelligent, sexy, good-looking men out there? Hold on to him, honey!

    Agree with you about Laurence Olivier, though. And Richard Burton was pretty hot in his hey-day. Mmm. That deep, husky voice of his. Drooool.

    1. Droooool yes quite, mmm.

      Also add perceptive, talented, helpful, SIGH.
      Am trying to hold on but he is slippery *ahem*. It’s all up to him not me and I HATE it. We Scorps love control. Waiting until mid Jan, after which I will just go and sulk or something.

      1. I have always been led to believe that caps are the only sign that can ‘escape’ (or perhaps evade is a better word?) scorpionic influence… And I’ve yet to see otherwise… Silent ultimatum time? If a guy as driven as you say wants something – he’ll get it. If they haven’t come for it after your set time… NEXT! :p
        hope he comes through for you though 🙂 I’ve always liked cappies.

  14. ps. aren’t a surprisingly high number of rock stars Caps?
    Bowie, Marilyn Manson, Syd Barrett, Joan Baez, John Denver, Janis Joplin, Jimmy Page (no surprise there), Eddie Vedder, Michael Stipe, Annie Lennox, Dolly Parton, Rod Stewart, Elvis Presley!

      1. Patti and Michael Stipe perform together sometimes – John Denver made me laugh you never really think about him in passing do you? – he’s lo cap, a wife beater.

        HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEXICORN my experience of caps is that they’re HOT charming and petulant – you gotta take the rough with the smooth ; o)

  15. I just LOVE how we always pull out David Bowie as our Hi-Cap example, do we not? I missed out on sharing a birthday with him and Elvis Presley by just 30 mins, and now Mystic tells us my Joan of Arc birthday-sharing theory is also out by a day. Oh well.
    Love your list as always Mystic, will look on it as a birthday blessing (with a dash of the back hand, always grounding…).
    Despite my obvious protests to some of the Lo-Cap recriminations in these here comments, I do reckon Caps flip into Lo-Mode like no other sign. An unfulfilled, under-utilized, non-actualized Cap is the most horribly destructive force… Thank goodness we here are all oh so Hi! 😉

    1. don’t worry I am a scorpio, that will be the most filled Lo page ever, but it’s not personal to the fabulous 😉

      Happy Birthday

      1. Yeah, don’t worry Lexi, I don’t care what the Lo says, I still think Caps are awesome 🙂

        Happy Birthday Lexicorn! Have a good one 🙂

        And happy birthday to:
        Mr Manson for yesterday
        Mr Bowie and Mr Presley for tomorrow
        (don’t know about the rest that Tati listed)

  16. I have a great respect for Caps. I’ve only ever met good ones, thank God, cos the Low Caps sound like a real piece of work, judging from these posts.

    My Dad is a Cap and we are very similiar with regards to our sense of humour and the way we see the world. Despite having a childhood that sounded like something straight out of Dickens, he has always been a kind, patient, decent person who loves his kids and is always there for us.

    My best friend is also a Cap and she’s one of the sweetest, most unassuming people I know.

    So happy birthday, Cappy peeps!! Hope you have a good one.

  17. OMG same. Had on going social clash in London with right wing misogynist Cap PUA loser. He hit on me, which went from all the charm of a military investigation to degrading my racial background when he was not received.

    Total narcissist who has some kind of PR antenna that he uses to make sure his utter wrongness is always amended socially so he doesn’t loose his position.
    Not to be outdone by the Cap Asc/ Mars aries moon producer. Ruthless.

    On the up one of my favourite people is the swedish capricorn style queen. Total Dandy loyal regal little sweetheart. Haute as Haute goes.

    Funny Bowie is here. Double virgo producer mate used to be a punk and though speaks highly of Bowie, said how he used to take on other peoples work as his own. His style of course but was hurtful to some. Look at “Low” with Gary Numan for example.

    Great post

    1. Im cap raised by a leo narcissist mother who turned me into a co dependent coz where ever i go ppl take advantage of me and i feel powerless . I think its better to b narcissist than b a co dependent

    1. Thanks guys!! Woot! So far so good. I got my one birthday wish, which, SO Cappo, happened to be a work achievement – but still, I pulled off a great coup, so it’s smooth sailing for the rest of the day… and then some low-Cap grifting in a bar til the wee hours I imagine… he he xx

      1. scorpalicious robot

        Hey Lex, just finished watching Lars and the Real Girl. What a fabulous, wonderful, amazing, genius, original and touching movie. It was absolutely PERFECT!! Thanks so much for insisting i see it. Hope you had a great low-Cap birthday celebration. x 🙂

      2. So glad you got to see it, its amazing, isn’t it. So just imagine me watching that on a flight feeling tired and emotional and blubbering and weeping into the back-of-chair video screen!
        Aaah. Memories.

        Had a wonderful birthday thank you. My Scorpio bestie made me a birthday cake that was MY BRITHCHART. It was incredible, complete with little chocolate planets in the right signs and houses and everything.
        It was soooooo incredible. Must try and upload / post photos here somehow…

      3. scorpalicious robot

        oh wow! what a fantastic idea and what a great friend!! “We ate my astrology” sounds like a cool song title.

        Lex, go to photobucket.com – it’s free to join. Upload photo, copy link and paste here. Easy peasy. 🙂

      4. WOW That is so cool! Ingenious.

        “and then I ate Saturn too, just to teach him a lesson.”

  18. absolute scum of the earth in all regards is this what you’re saying then?

    ( wish people would stop talking about my mother…)

  19. Uranian&Plutonic Virgo

    My Momma’s birthday is coming up soon in a few days. She’s Haute double Cap, a strong woman. 🙂 I’m proud to be her daughter and I miss her, wish she weren’t in another country.

  20. virgosunariesrising

    My mother is low low Cap and every word in Mystic’s description fits her or is something she has done. Every word. Its kind of a relief to see it in print because you can’t explain to anyone how devious, selfish, nasty, diabolical etc someone like ol Ma is, no-one would believe you. The years since I stopped seeing her have been the happiest of my life.

    Luckily ol Da was high Cap. 🙂

    1. oh gawd Virgosun, both my parents are Capricorns too. I feel for you! I’m so traumatised I feel reluctant to share any of my Cappy examples lest it turn into a rant from the wounded 🙂 Suffice to say, Great list Mystic! Love your Hi-Lo posts.

      I would add a few more to the Lo list: Right is Might. Love the Rule Book (their OWN rule book that is) – and only see the world (including your own children) according to it. Naive belief in “authority” figures and societal structures. Belief in your house as proof of your status & standing in the community.

      1. virgosunariesrising

        Thanks for the solidarity, nat! Your extra characteristics are spot on. You learn amazing lessons from low cap behaviour, but where do ever really use these lessons? Although for me, knowing when to walk away and when to run is valuable. Perhaps we should invent a triumphant cocktail and drink to the joy of now being surrounded with diverse and balanced human beings who have a little give in them. (including haute caps).

      2. Invent a triumphant cocktail and drink to the joy of finding flexi-people??? Oh YAY! That is the best thing I have heard today virgosun’! You are on. Now, what shall we call it… The Mountaineer? The Gorgeous Goat? Miss Moneypenny’s Moderated Mirth?

        Lexicorn, perhaps you could experiment with a Hi Cap Cocktail tonight and report back.

        *air clinks*

  21. LibrabutAriesontheRise

    Many years ago I (briefly) dated a woman who you have EXACTLY DESCRIBED in the low Cap section above. She was DREADFUL. Selfish, ruthlessly ambitious, unethical, deceitful… her lies ended up as a contributing factor in someone’s suicide, but still she felt that, as she had been acting in her own self-interest, it was justified. She was really beyond belief.

    The experience scarred me for a long, long time, so my reaction when learning someone was a Cap was to shriek and run for cover! However, in the intervening years, I have met quite a number of high Cap peeps, which has helped to show me the good aspects of this sun sign. I do tend to find them a bit dull though.

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