How To Be A Love Zombie

How To Be A Love Zombie? The question puzzled me at first. Surely becoming a Love Zombie is an organic process. Specific astrological configs at birth make you more inclined toward it, and popular culture plays its part but still, it’s not something you can cultivate. But on further thought, I have altered my stance. You can become a Love Zombie and here’s how.

(1) Develop a taste for narcissistic future-fakers. They’re easy to get to know, as they will swiftly take any encounter onto a more intimate footing. Familiarity is the fastest way for them to get the ego-hits they need. The married or partnered ones can exist in a state of impending break-up for years, if not decades.

It is their preferred mode, which is fantastic for you. As an aspiring Love Zombie, you will never need to worry overly about them turning up at your door with their baggage.

(2) The moment you find someone sexually attractive, bestow them with a sense of nobility and doomed glamor. You may think that rewriting your every crush to be a mythopoetic saga of epic proportions is something only possible in your teenage years, but no, you can do it any age. Although, it may be harder to do as your hormone mix evolves.

(3) Shun therapy. Nothing kills a Love Zombie buzz more thoroughly than a psych probing you about that emotionally unavailable mother or narcissistic dad. Don’t read Esther Harding, Sigmund Freud, Carl Jung or even Clarissa Pinkola Estes.

It’s discomforting to find yourself in the pages of a classic book that could be about anyone when you feel your circumstance is so unique. Stick to Iseult & Tristan, Beatrice & Dante, Walk The Line and any literature or cinema that gives good yearning.

(4)  Don’t own up to enjoying your solitude. Being open about liking to be un-partnered is subversive as is admitting that you enjoy being able to devote more energy to your craft, children, animals, health or nature.

Having a Love Zombie situation going on means you can be quasi-partnered and thus still (sort of) yoked to the convention. Many people would much rather hear about your mysterious little bit of phantom ‘it’s complicated‘ than deal with an individuated you.

(5) Get hooked on Yearning. In the same way that sportspeople and adventurers come to function their best on adrenaline, you can optimize via Yearning. Is it oxytocin? A neurotransmitter only released when you’re busy analyzing cryptic comments and cross-referencing them to Neptune transits?

Admit to yourself that while it would be nice in some plebian way to have a partner you can phone up to inquire how they are, you like the combo of an intricate research process and fantasy.

Image: Joseph Noel Paton – Dante Meditating

68 thoughts on “How To Be A Love Zombie”

  1. Just prearrange with spiritual guides to be born the day I was 😀 I have every astrological marker possible. Neptune on the DC, NN in the 7th etc etc lol.

  2. Considering my current location I could put a lot of these sub categories together and then slice them down even further. In the same vein as music “Metal fans” get all cut over “that’s not Classic Industrial Metal that’s Punk Metal.”

    I think if you haven’t unpacked your family of origin issues and found ways to cope with the grief of abandonment which arises, your relationship signature or style can predispose you to Love Zombism. Then you add the preconceived ideal of this relationship doesn’t measure up to the expectations of the reality, well a healthy dose of WTF in the Fifth and Seventh Houses is this. Well you can say hello to “Battle Royale in the epic Love Zombie mode.”

    Fabulous topic as always.

      1. Thank you for commenting SheRat. I do love a movie reference and a Canadian anthropologist and metal fanatic….that’s a must do indeed.

        I dig music very deeply, it’s been a saviour to me many times over. The power to articulate the suffering of my life in the most beautiful way. Divine intervention proving the power of human compassion and collective kindness and unity with a fully loaded musical tank.

        There is a FB group that I’m apart off and their comments about Metal is very entertaining and almost mirrors political debate.

        My teenage self was a fan of getting my friends together on a hill in High School and letting out our frustrations with primal screaming. It was a primal scream technique I’d read about in a psychology book about human evolution and primate behaviour. A book I found over the boarder in a used bookstore or in my place of birth in a charity store. I was always keen to unpack my trauma safely, give a tactile and sensory support to it always. Pain needs to acknowledged and voiced. When that’s repressed it causes destructive behaviours in a person’s life. From dodgy lifestyle choices, interpersonal relationships suffer and or breakdown completely, then isolation kicks in and negative absolutes start swimming in the brain box. If we could rebrand Mental Health as Mind Health, we could be onto something special and with greater, more effective outcomes.

        #soundtrackyourself – by learning to be safe and sane in an insane situation. Because sometimes temporary situations become a permanent way of existing and new strategies need to come on board.

        1. Awesome S! I did something very similar: My family was even instructed not to bother me with phone calls if I were in my room “doing Janis” (as I called it), which sometimes it was necessary to do like, from the time I got home from school til the time I went to bed! Sometimes I think about renting a studio rehearsal space even though I’m not in a band at the moment just to have a place to scream Janis etc. and not bother anyone. ;-p It’s a release and a fucking great high too!

          If you are into metal, “Get Thrashed” is also a must see: documents the history of the big 5 of Thrash. Again, excellent interviews, very well done. I would bet the people in your FB group know about these things…Metalheads (I think?) deffo tend to respect their history more than other types of music fans…I am seriously thinking of going to Wacken in 2019.

          1. Here is a tip: go to a swimming pool and dip yourself underwater and just scream it out of your system. It’s safe and it’s a soft approach, not pushing up the dramatic just letting the emotions that have been built up a gentle way out.

            Preferably a pool or body of water without tots learning to swim or folks doing rehabilitation lessons and rugby league players cooling off. I’ve been caught in those situations. Look I just need to float in the water and scream under water people…nothing to see here people, just move it the f train along.

            Thanks for the suggestions too.

  3. MM! this is probably my favourite of all of your posts and I’ve been following and absolutely loving the shit out of your amazing writing for about ten years now. I’ve just come out of a traumatic “thing” with a covert narcissit.. almost a year ago exactly i left.. ran more like it.. and in my recovery (after three months drinking myself stupid to not feel anything) i realised it was me choosing it and then was shocked to realise that I had chosen this abuser/teacher/lesson several times before… everything written in this post is SO spot on. Many months ago now I left love zombie land via a concerted effort to not only remove all of the toxic external shit I could possibly identify.. but most importantly really spending a year weeding out my own bullshit. My own toxic patterns of self harm through bad romance seem to be born from persistent psychological abuse from a narcissistic teacher when I was 9. Regardless of how it started, accountability is the key to freedom – it is my own shit ultimately, being a victim is such a waste of time. So, fortunately, I identified exactly the stuff which had meant I was CHOOSING relationships that SUCKED the life out of me, thus turning me into a love zombie. Knowledge is power – I realised I didn’t believe I deserved to be loved. (thanks year 4 teacher) I have since spent a year now dating myself and I’m so farking happy. I recently re-heard Bjork’s song Isobel “My name Isobel/ Married to myself” and it just made me shout “YESSSS!!!!!” I stopped drinking, ditched fake friends, made sure I was really there for people I love, I invested in my mental and physical health… and got rid of ego-based desire.. i don’t yearn for anyone or anything.. i just am and I like the person I have discovered I am . I don’t waste my time yearning for scraps.. I just read and write music and eat well. I treat myself like I am someone I am responsible for keeping alive, with love like I’m honouring the 9 year old girl who was bullied by the first narcissist. I’ll never let another one hurt her/me. It’s the most profound era of my life… This post says IT ALLLL. thank you Mystic. Sometimes in the recovery from covert narc abuse its easy to sometimes fall into the trap of questioning your sanity..”did that really happen?’ and posts like yours here really just fortify my path and happiness. thank you x and it’s true what they say – beware love zombies, the narcs ALWAYS try to come back. That’s why ya gotta snap out of it. Life is too short to get stuck in a bad pattern.

  4. Haha! My Neptune Moon can be delusional, but my Venus & Mars in Gemini get bored too fast to let much damage occur. You have to be one hell of a zinger to get past those two.

  5. The LZ thing only happen once due to massive manipulation of my emotions. By another Saggo whom i erroneously thought was like me… and honest 🙂 and obviously enjoyed the power trip. A relationship of constant texting and only meeting in person 10 times over 5 years, even tho’ in same city.
    Still in shock when i remember how my brain was turned to mush and how constantly dissatisfied i was. What a crazy game it was, however the after effects has lasted way too long and turned me off having a partner since.
    The Ex-es always contact me afterwards to say how they didn’t appreciate me at the time, and how lucky they were.
    Well hey hell, too bad,dudes, you made me too sad.
    So i know how normally sensible intelligent people can get sucked into a vortex that is unexplainable at the time.
    HIndsight is 20-20 vision!

    1. I’ve got a 2 out of 3 thing going on…sans meatloaf.

      I cant say it’s been a one time only thing. I’ve got Neptune 7th and that BS would emit it’s stink rays right out of the screen hahahaha!

      I got done over once by a Saggo. Made a similar miscalculation in judgement. Double barrel kick to the heart. Pfffft.

      For reasons too inexplicable and by that I mean, compatibility, the actual relationships, synergy and sign etcs they seem to come back and lay a you were my soul mate trip on me, never got over, blah-dee blah speech. And no – that ain’t my peacock feathers starting to fan, that’s always been plain weird but oddly predictable. Hmmm… ok well now maybe I can repeat that back to you slowly with a little more emphasis on that word starting with W…assuming I’ll pick up.

    2. “So i know how normally sensible intelligent people can get sucked into a vortex that is unexplainable at the time.”

      This is a very good point, Pegasus (and hiya!!). All too often people use another’s relationship troubles and/or LZ-ing as a way to feel superior: :”I’d never fall for *that*!” Truth is, we don’t know what we’d fall for given the right circumstances, gap in front teeth, laconic guitar strumming, cut of the jib, iconoclastic skill set/professional status/”Oh, look I have a tattoo of a Baudelaire quote” combo. How hard we’ll fight for / hang on to that original vision–and sometimes it takes years for the swindler to reveal themselves! Even if it all works out and no one gets thrown around/cheated on, it’s still something you FELL for. They call it “falling in love.”

      As a side note, within the last 24 hours I have been contacted by 3 ex-bfs. Of course not the one I want. {{sad face}} 😉 Drunk Virgo called 11 times in a 20 minute period. haven’t spoken to him since August. New Moon conj Venus in Via Combusta Weirdness? Uranus backing up on to my Mars?

      1. And Mercury retro… for some it’s always an return. if we were to completely ignore the Astro drunk Virgo (and I know nothing of him) got consumed by the spirit of the bottle and not getting his way. There’s a point in that journey where to blame any other influence is just blatant ignorance (perhaps from the outside only eh).

        This is a really well stated post SheRat.

        Maybe Neptune direct is invoking wordsmithing en-mass. I’m loving lots of words around here!

        But I’ll add that the Venus retro has got a reference point back to 2010 with her last retrograde in Scorpio. I am only just thinking about this as I type and Uranus would have been Aries like now beginning a tour not wrapping it but I’m now wondering if her cycles synchronise with his movement as in she sets the stage and then loads out? Anyone know the answer to this without looking it up? I will anyway when I get a chance…

        Then the other less obvious (hey it’s Chiron and Pisces) transit I’m probably going to add in is Chiron at 29 Pisces now stationing. End of the zodiac and the transition from Pisces to Aries regardless of house for all of us is still a significant end and the what will be both personal and collective. It could be things such as the end of an old familiar lie one has told themselves for a long time or a unhealthy habit that has become so natural that it’s bypassed all the usual alarms or perhaps shut them down entirely. Maybe there’s a circle back on a bigger relating pattern via Venus that clicks into consciousness. I don’t know – there’s too many variables but whatever evolutionary process arises for each person there will also be a collective momentum created for us all and right now that could be around the right sorts of nourishment and structures for earth and its inhabitants as it could be about the end of the patriarchy (which is actually on it’s slow final tour but also linked to the ‘actual’ age of Aquarius commencing which can’t be dated until it actually begins).

        Interesting times abound… someone must have wished that upon us all here on earth and maybe the origins are far older than Chinese culture?

        1. SOOO did not answer Drunk Virgo. When he called back immediately after the first one went unanswered I knew there was some sort of scene on the other end. There was no way to engage in that schizz without: a) activating Mars in Aries (with Uran!), or b) indulging my Venus in Pisces…”Are you okay?” action! I chose…? I chose Aqua sun. Ignore. LOL.

          There’s proof in the pudding for the last Venus Retrro ins Scorp and Uran in Aries–for me at least…Uran went through my 7th house, which has been a thing for sure. The Chiron thing is interesting–it’s just away from conj. my Venus.

          Are there ever times that are uninteresting? I feel like it may just be a myopia, but I keep asking my elders and they agree ain’t never seen schizz like this….

          But you know what? The last time Chiron was in Aries was in April, 1968–MLK, RFK, just before the Student Uprising in Paris–the DNC Convention/Chicago Riots in August. Then he went back to Pisces for election of Nixon, then back to Aries for Woodstock, the Days of Rage and Altamont…and later Kent State, Bloody Sundays in NI and elsewhere. Not to mention the Manson murders. Remained until 76/77–which as we all know heralded Punk. I mean, FFS , now you got me looking forward to something! MANG apparently the last Chiron in Aries essentially bookmarks when all my favorite music was made. I better start hustling to find out what the new, cool stuff is gonna be!!! “I don’t own the clothes i’m wearing / and this road goes on forever / I got one more silver dollar / but I’m not gonna let ’em catch me no, not gonna let ’em catch the midnight rider!”

          1. Go girl – why waste the Mars | Aries which could no doubt make short work of the matter but hey, you might even be starting a Venus – Venus trine so better fish to fry I reckon. Aqua Sun sounds like the best offence. Drunk Virgo might be grappling with Neptune opposing Sun eh…or could be Saturn trine now and it’s time to be responsible for his actions, if he can surf the mighty wave of Neptune Pisces?

            What a brilliant download. Thank you. It all feels a bit epochal. I’m going to have to do some pondering on all that. If you just stream of consciousness typed that out ima impressed – MANG (hahaha Tony!). What a time of change and rebellion. Paris is kind of emulating that again now for different but same same reasons. In a non-utopian way I hope that we can go forward without more destruction. On a brighter note (music) yeah, I wonder if the soundscape is readying up for another change. I dig a lot of the music from that era too and have found lots of good stuff beyond there of course but some of the vintage is yet to be toppled from it’s lofty position.

            1. Well, once I saw the dates–I am a geek about the years 68 – 72, really–and a bit less about 62 – 67 (stems from Stoneslove). And exactly on the events in France!!! Did my undergrad thesis on the Weather Underground, so I kinda know the haps during their years of operation (which, actually, match Chiron in Aries!! LOL)…YES I was thinking last night…I always wished I’d lived then (secretly admonished my p’s for not being part of the Diggers, lol). But it’s an inspiring question. Conditions are similar but ratcheted up by many degrees. What did they do last time that allowed not just for Nixon in ’68, but Nixon in ’72? Does this mean Trump in 2020?

              IMO, Factionalism is what destroyed the Left in the late 60s (though I argue that factionalism is a result of the doctrine of false consciousness)–but here’s the weird thing: At first they were infiltrated by the FBI for troublemaking, and then they were handed over to the highly inexperienced and pompous American Communist Party, who continued the work of alienating them from any popular support by brainwashing them into rigid, inapplicable conservative Marxist ideology. The govt. was not actively, say, pushing the KKK into the mainstream to counter the leftist inclinations of the population, such as they were–as is happening now. Okay I’ll shut up now.

              1. No – don’t shut up! I’ve been outta town and offline but just wanted to say that I hope you always lead with that dazzling mind of yours though I’m sure it’s but one of your attributes – the unworthy will wilt in it’s presence leaving only the suitable suitors 🙂

  6. Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot

    It really is all about the hopeless yearning. “Don’t read ‘he’s not that into you’ or ‘the rules’, instead favour Rumi and consult the i-ching.

  7. So much fun reading this! SO funny, I love it. AND appreciate such a timely reminder ! I’m going to print it off and keep it by my bed. Thank you Mystic !

  8. Spot on, Mystic. I had the recent realisation that I love being single. In fact, the thought of hauling around an ‘other’ as I zoom about my world or – worse – having someone full time in my space actually gives me the creeps. Now that you have so brilliantly distinguished the definition of Love ‘Zombie’, it’s time to name and define being the SOURCE of love and connection and how that plays out in a powerful life. You know……how ‘Goddess’ energy manifests in the 21st century!

  9. Yearner in recovery here:: Dante is the og haute(?) love zombie . Timeless literature influencing centuries of art and inquiry. Seems like the only right thing to do as an exile. The only good thing I ever did w the -itis was make something inspired. Among other behaviors that were ..less evolved lol. (Chart ruler Moon in Pisces and Venus Libra(as a general Stellium Scorpio was a readily available excuse pre Mystic days.. ) Once recovered from this condition makes it hard to imagine going back. I just really no longer sympathize with someone’s influence hijakcing my emotions/ physiology.I’m glad there’s a name for it!! I’ve been able to treat it in my own homeopathic way, It’s funny if using this term w anyone not familiar they get it instantly..

  10. Lol. I have Neptune opposite Mars, Neptune sextile Sun, Neptune square Moon and plenty of love zombie experience but am also super into psychology, figuring out my shit and alone time so this is both accurate and hilarious.

  11. The alleged love hormone – oxytocin. Partners well with dopamine. They are their own loved up couple weaving spells on even the hardest of hearts though those folk may keep their crushes secretly locked away in a file called trash that might be carelessly taped over the previous name (denial) and thus haven’t learnt the 101 of any soundtrack in your head/bod that is ignored getting louder. You gotta let the thing flow through the bod and remember it’s a hormone – it can be excreted – it ain’t permanent. You need to manufacture more so there’s got to be triggers and perhaps a level of…. yes, you guessed it (sitting ever so quietly sometimes at the helm) – was that you yearning…did I just hear you whisper…. ? 😀 😀 😀

    I would take a punt for that reason that 5 would reactivate that faint buzz of yore and dress it in current garb on repeat and whilst you’re feeling the warm fuzzies – apply bitumen to the bumpy old highway in the brain that got tore up by this current crush, the high school sweetheart or the fantasy crush (it’s very malleable) thus creating a smooth freeway drive down in your convertible vehicle of choice to, cruising past whatever backdrop continues to feel like the hug you’re feeling with whatever sky conjures up images of perfect moment, whilst you got your soundtrack and your intoxicating cocktail mix of remnants of magical moments sewn into the cloak of now with stitches so delicate they’re indiscernible. Neptune is a primary shareholder in oxytocin.

    1. So many great lines, Centaurus! “Neptune is a primary shareholder in oxytocin.”

      Is this why all the theatre kids were like CRAZIER than us punks and metalheads but were stone cold sober?

    2. Thanks ladies – big grins for you for those lovely words.

      I’ve actually copied this rant as I’m going to work it in with something I’ve been lakadasically playing around with but is starting to resemble something – loosely.

      Hahahaha – there were crazier folk than us punks and metalheads?

      1. Srsly, I did not plan to, but I got into musical theatre in my Maoist street punk days (no one else was going to play Maria in SoM on my watch–the nuns loved that for sure…”she’s always late for everything”) and I was stunned–STUNNED I tell you!–at all the sexual intrigue, betrayal (and openess!) and standards of acceptable shared personal drama / dysfunction (I guess I mean codependence…lol).

        1. The contrasts – punk meets the prim and wholesome Maria and creates a fusion that made folk forget she was late…again! Haha. Good vox required for that too so I’ve got to acknowledge that bit of talent 🙂

  12. honestly, it’s ridiculous how I never noticed until the last few years how absolutely scared people are of unattached middle-age women. I move four steps forward when they learn I *was* married. Then forward another two steps when they find out I’m a widow (because cool! I didn’t FAIL at it)–but then like, two or three steps backwards when they find out he killed himself–it’s half and half whether I go back or forward when they find out I left him before he did. Totally unbelievable.

    Also I’ve noticed people loosen up if I mention a potential relationship. So THANK YOU for validating this as a broader *thing* in #4. With Pluto Rising, I have this: “People always think they’re plotting something or — worse — have the hots for them, even when Pluto-Ascendant is just listening politely.” in spades, so it’s nice to know that it’s not just Pluto Rising that is the culprit of this nonsense. FMITM.

    1. Yes – it’s a thing alright.

      I don’t know if I’ve read of your marriage and partners death before SR and haven’t got anything that doesn’t feel clunky to say there.

      I will say though that your way of describing it was bang on with the uncertainty that’s projected around trust. Is an uncomfortable dance for sure. When you add no kids into the discussion they get sad faces – aw, something went wrong (yes – clearly that could be the ONLY reason)? Um – no, didn’t want them. They recoil like they’ve been struck with something a lot harder than truth.

      My go to of late for a great many things is this:
      It’s an expression of me not a challenge to you. It’s the kindest (to myself primarily) way and simplest extraction method I’ve found to tell people who make shizz all about them and their inability to see more than one spectrum of life whilst trying to imprint their views into the holy realms of righteousness to fuq off.

      And I even say that pretty good naturedly because I’m a Saggo of course and we move on but mostly because we all get it wrong sometimes and we all rub people the wrong way sometimes and sometimes we don’t even know we’ve done it as we’re busy with our own barrows eh.

      1. “It’s an expression of me not a challenge to you.” Story of milife, Centaurus!! But do you actually say this to people when they are making faces or judgments you can only read via body lingo? I didn’t mean to sound like people are openly attacking me…it’s just a very subtle comfort-level, like finding out someone else went to the same high school as you or some shit.

        Like, sometimes you only know they were wary of you until you sense the relief at mentioning “Oh, yes, I remember going through that planning my wedding..,” or some such. “Oh you were married?” “Yes, yes.” ….wait, wait,…”Are you still together?” “No, not together anymore”…Blah blah blah. I’m a chatterbox but I am really trying hard in the last year not to give any more info than they ask for. I kinda wanna force them to ask for it. I guess maybe some people just walk away and don’t talk? I don’t notice. I’m sorry to hear that you have more confrontative experiences with it, that sucks.

        Queer people have all shades of this probing in spades. Again, I lived in SF for so long I think I got spoiled with people not giving a fuq one way or the other.

        Totally validate on the no kids thing. I have a friend who for years has liked to just tell people point blank she’s barren and thanks a lot for prying. (Aqua/Saggo Rising, lol).

        1. Good Q SheRat – Um… short answer is probably not. If it was really covert then I’d probably weigh up my investment and need to call it out and maybe I’d tweak the script a little to something like … ‘ gosh I hope that’s not a challenge to you and your beliefs (winks), or I hope that didn’t make you feel uncomfortable. It is some sort of discomfort that’s going on for the other person. It’s a rub against something they believe to be true is all it is. I don’t know. I don’t always do well in rehearsal and think better and faster on my feet though sometimes I’m doing a post mortem going why didn’t I say X. I also use it to myself if I’m pissed at some muggle statement. I find it brings me back to me and takes the focus off any unsolicited drivel.

          Rarely do people openly attack but they do get audible in various forms and if it was, say, an obvious side look of horror | disdain | uppity attitude then yep I sure might. I’m polite right – I’m not looking to point score, do battle or get a higher footing as none of that interests me. I advocate for people quite a bit at work and have gotten quite good at calling out stigmatisation and discrimination – have even surprised myself at times because I can be a sassy, sometimes inappropriate potty mouth with my mates 😉
          I don’t think you get the best out of the sitch when you shame someone or fight fire with fire a compelling as it can be sometimes to launch a flame thrower. I’ve done all that and had my mixed results same as any other human: wins, losses, draws, vendettas and war stories we can all woop and hiss about. If someone can gain awareness without that then perhaps they’re less likely to do it again. And perhaps they’re just dicks and if that’s the case there is zero point wasting any energy. They’ll get there when/if they get there and it’s not my bag baby.

          There have been some confrontive ones I suppose – not aggressive as such but ignoring social norms and/or boundaries or my personal fave (eye roll) the feigned concerned tone. All good ed tho and my Merc is all over this kinds a stuff.

          Sounds like you’re just being open and conversational but I get it and I’ve been dialling back outputs myself of late NOT that you’d notice it here LOL. This is Mercury Rx with natal Mercury Rx for ya. He’s pulling me back up and out by my boot straps!

          The last paragraph – hahaha… I’d struggle to keep a straight face at the responses she gets!

    2. The older I get, the more I think : how aqua detached can I get about ppls reactions. I’d like to see the little dance their faces do when you share these details though.

  13. Yes re (4). It was my modus operandi for years until I just let the couple fantasy go. Frees up energy. Best bit is when those around you also ease up on their coupledom expectations for you.

  14. Check, check, check, check and check. With sun, moon, Merc. and Venus in my Pisces 7th house with Neptune squaring three of them, I was definitely born this way but have also actively cultivated. Thankfully (I think) my hormone mix is evolving enough so that I can get the hit safely from films and novels (Pisces moon, yearning is my favorite genre) and less from real life.

    I thought I had a safe little zombie crush awhile back but a year and a half ago I realized how badly I was allowing it to derail my life. Picked up the pieces, moved to a new town and promptly found a new target. It’s hardwired into me but this time I made myself list all the reasons why this one will never work out and I’ve been mainlining all the fictional yearning I can get. So far it’s working.

    Also, I can love zombie over just about anything. It doesn’t have to be a person. I live in a constant state of yearning for places I want to travel to, food, books I haven’t read yet, houses I stalk on real estate sites, wish lists on Amazon. I’d have to say it’s the driving force of my life. I just love wanting things more than I love getting them.

    1. I hear ya, kriblack! in times of crisis–when I realize I’m LZing out on the wrong person, I just restart up all the bedtime stories I was writing about me and Andy Taylor from Duran Duran! I tweak ’em for now, cause man they were stupid. Tee to the hee! It was great meditation before bed when I was 12 and it is now! Like masturbation! LOL,

    2. I actually have a bit of the loving things (in general) more than wanting them when I get them too.

      Is there a safe zombie crush? 😀

      1. LOL WELL…..safest is a dead person (’cause what if you were inclined to stalking and lived in the same country, or could go see their shows, etc.). Me, I likes me some Aqua Little Stevie Marriott from Small Faces / Humble Pie. So pretty and cool he was–and underappreciated!

        I go for musos, obvs. But this is why fan fic was invented no? OMG the notebooks I have full of my 1985 love triangle with Mick Jagger and Andy Taylor…

        1. Weeeell, you don’t need to be told you’re playing with fire right! 😀

          Oh yeah, they’re a tempting talented bunch and there’s no shortage of LZ options that will typically stay in yes, notebooks or dreamscapes when they’re that iconic but the local ones can be hot bits of trouble as well right. I am in a no crush zone with this lot and I think it’s just a blanket no crush zone right now with Pluto harassing Venus Moon. Even as I’m thinking I’m drawing blanks but I was infected with it….maybe I’ve built an immunity? I’ll have to get back to you on whether I consider that a good thing or not…

          Your 1985 notebook would be a cool time capsule. I don’t have anything like that from back then. I have a rep for clearing that stuff (ok, maybe just stuff) out but sometimes I wish I’d kept some of it.

          1. Yeah, the husband was a local muso, so, I know hard well, lol. In fact, it’s my masters project to write about that specific trouble.

            In terms of IRL, of course, my new cohort, writers, are not going to be any less trouble (though so far, they are insufferable. pretentiously unpretentious posuer hipsters (which, what the fuq when did that become a thing?). Hence my attachment to Stevie Marriott! lol.

  15. This tutorial is making me realize that I am probably the narcissistic future-faker cultivating a sense of doomed glamour. OOPS. 😐

  16. OMG this is hysterical and wonderful at the same time! There really ARE benefits to being a Love Zombie! I’ve recently discovered my aptitude for being a Love Zombie after a life time of serial monogamous relationships. The past 3.5 years I’ve been dallying with a variety of Love Zombie scenarios (with the variation they are all single men), content and discontent at the same time for the way they vacillate within the same vague and frustrating ranges. But we all know what happens once a lover is ‘caught’ and the standard fare begins … things begin to deteriorate in the usual assortment of failed expectations, bickering, lack of freedom, habits absorbed and dissolved, mis matched life styles and inter family gunk. So in view of all that, I’ve been indulging myself in this new world of Love Zombiedom. The key to keeping oneself in balance with these engaging fantasies may be to keep the stalking strictly to astrology, have solid work, hobbies and commitments that you find joy in and enduring friendships that don’t judge your choice of love style LOL.

  17. Love this HOW TO. It’s kinda reverse psychology. Just for the sake of the game.
    1) never had this and NEVER (ever) will. I am not made to be someone’s affair. I am girlfriend/wife material or else. It’s been a very long and often lonely 4 years of “OR ELSE” but it still prefer it
    2) god this is my after marriage break up relationship of 2009-2011 but it was also friggin’ horrible Uranus in Aries/Chiron in Pisces era so I forgive myself
    3) Started EMDR end of May and yes I am loving it. Loved “Walk the line” very much but I wouldn’t want to be that pair, not in a million years. Tonnes of LZ and co-dependency. Can’t go back there.
    4) I do enjoy it, most of the times.
    5) I can do that but it’s such an energy sucking things that I prefer go crazy tv show series than to loos myself into that kind of feeling. Hell I am alone with 2 cats and enjoying Xmas for the first time in years.

  18. Said like a boss. Yearn until you burn, research all ties until you realise you have given away a week, if not a year of your time. Desire is that which cannot be requited. Don’t make it the heart’s cocaine I say x

  19. Year of the Phoenix

    Always timely Mystic! I have the “tendency” ( like only a 12 th House Leonian Venus Squ Moon in Scorpio can…)

    Your list has made me feel a tad relieved I have the hormone mix I have now ha! Also admitted to co worker I like being single as it’s simple (truth) I

    Identified my predilection for rescue romances (Virgo / Virgo rising + Chiron in 7th house ) and cured of inability to notice narcissism in potential partners

    Planning on getting some counseling, delayed it too long and probably undiagnosed anxiety, depression and ptsd after disaster marriage. Drs can arrange some sessions for free cause we can throw financial hardship along with work injury in the mix. I just had a biopsy this week so will find out the results of that soon too.

    Have a new crush! At least it brings a nice twist to work and this time it’s not complicated! He is single, straight and seemingly kind of interested. He came back after leaving work on Friday to check back and see if I wanted to have a beer with him : ) I was still on the front desk and was a bit surprised so said no ! Ha!

    Reining in expectations and only doing one tarot reading!

    1. Go and say yes to that colleague NOW and break the LZ spell. Please do it for all us out there not being LZ anymore but with no prospect of reciprocated crushes whatsoever. 🙂

      1. Year of the Phoenix

        Thanks Miss Dee, i will take your lovely advice, you are 100% right and a Virgo so, you know…..

        I will ply him with smiles til he actually asks me out properly, being a Virgoan Receptionist it doesn’t feel right to swig beer on the job! He has circled back from the boutique brewery next door so spontaneously offered me one so very cas

        He is the ‘new guy’ but from the initial encounter it’s been fun and he is an artist working low paid jobs but knocking himself out, catnip!

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