Honesty In Dating Profiles: Scorpio

Deep Scorpio Dating Truths

Dating A Scorpio? You may enjoy this Honesty In Dating Profile. Read on for what they’re unlikely to tell you straight up. This is what their dating profile really says, but it’s encrypted of course.

Favorite Quote: “If you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss gazes into you.”  Nietzche.  

Likes:  Not having to answer stupid questions. What is “like.”?

Dislikes:  Taxidermy in restaurants. Human rights atrocities. Unscheduled explosions. Being attacked. Weddings when they’ve been living together for a thousand years. Ragged fingernails with hangnails. Illegal elections. That Pinochet got away with it. How society calls people who volunteer to be ‘carers’ for intellectually handicapped adults with the mental age of children saints when they might be exploitative. People making more than one call in a row to “get hold of me” if it is not an emergency. Air conditioning. Botox that collapses one brow but they say it is fine.

Seeking:  “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”  That’s Rumi, and if you don’t get it, you’re blocked.

My Ideal Partner:  It was Autumn, I got him off Adult Friend Finder by mistake, and he was about to embark on a tour of duty in (classified location). He had an Eye of Horus tattoo. We joked about it either protecting him or making him more of a target. He said at the end that he did not want to go, but I could tell from the glint in his eyes and that jut in his jaw that he did.  I was never notified, obviously, of his passing eight weeks later but he appeared briefly in my bedroom that night, his libido having apparently survived the impact of the chopper, the crossing into Valhalla or whatever it is. It took five days for an insultingly banal obit to appear in his local rag. Sometimes I let myself drift into a reverie that him appearing in my bedroom was more than just ghostly lust…that we had a thing.

Our Ideal Date Together Would Be:  Why? Do you need an alibi?

Image: Roland Bianchini – Paco Rabanne

77 thoughts on “Honesty In Dating Profiles: Scorpio”

  1. It’s Scorpio’s loyalty that i love and that they are never gossips. They also seem to have genetic or ancient memories.Like a deep intrisic natural knowledge.
    Don’t brag a lot either when they would be quite entitled to.
    (From one bought up by a Scorp mother). I mean trained by 🙂

    1. yes this is what I like about scorpios too. Mature / haute scorps have an excellent sense of discretion and their insta-perception certainly takes the burden off me having to attempt to make things clear to them, they can largely see what’s going on, give or take.

  2. Sadly no Scorps in my life ‘cept for cyber mates here.
    Do love a Scorpio in my life, so wonder where they all are. From a person who has many Virgos around them that must be because of all the bonking on New Year’s Eve. OR the Aries ‘daughter’ is ruling at the moment with her wanting most of my time and edits who gets close to me, little Rottweiller that she is :-).
    Truly since Monday’s shift of energy, i’m feeling quite glorious after last week’s hideousity.

  3. Ha
    This is funny and sort of brilliant.
    I feel like the bitch in the photo.
    Oh, phhh
    yeah, it IS feeling increasingly difficult to cope with any kind of fakery as the eclipse draws near, isn’t it?
    it could be the Sound Node thing or my being in therapy. Chicken and egg?
    That butterfly situation sounds surreal. Intense.

    1. therapy is manifestation of south node activity perhaps 🙂
      i thrive on uncertainty these days. sitting with the indeterminate nature of things sans fear and with more clarity than ever. decisions when they are required and not calling anything too soon. Mutability is a skill not just a trait 😀 [like the others i suppose]

  4. Ha! My (sort of) ex is a Scorp and I could totally hear his voice saying this with a gender/situation twist! He’d be the one going off on assignment to some far off locale and stalking his last conquest from the beyond before passing on!

  5. Ha! My (sort of) ex is a Scorp w/Leo rising and I totally could hear his voice writing this with a pronoun and situation twist! He’d be the one going off on assignment and stalking his last conquest before passing on!

      1. All’s good now, supakali. I’d left my shell in bed…And Nietzsche, hangnails and ghost-bonking before coffee…well, i guess i wasn’t prepared. Not to mention that for my electric heroin fix before bed, i’d watched a truly bad, post-botox Meg Ryan flick … so i’d thought i had slipped into the abyss…..(*slugs back tequila*) …all’s good now.
        Thanks Mystic.

        1. In answer to both questions: fuqed if i know.
          Only watched film coz Antonio Banderas was in it….(in defence)

        2. oh! post botox meg ryan is distressing. she is so beautiful and expressive. why !!!!!!! I want to see how these vivacious women progress in their lives and not … exist in some kind of visual stasis. is it that bad??? looking older than 45????? must every single one of these wealthy, talented, spirited women buckle under the aesthetic hazing that is hollywood acceptance?? there is more to film stardom than the sorority of Delta-Epsilon-Alpha-Delta

          you know

          1. What’s so sad is that after she destroyed her face in an effort to look younger – to get more work – they didn’t hire her anymore, because she looked so awful.
            The temptation and pressure must be so enormous – as much from your own fragile ego – as from the Hollywood machine.
            Also, you’re not really aware of how much ageism is so ingrained in the culture, until you get to a certain age, when all of a sudden you do start to take notice of the vile ageist comments and descriptions of the more mature woman in the media….never men.
            What amazes me though, is how young women are embracing this madness. In one popular magazine, i read that it’s good to start surgery BEFORE your skin starts to sag – for better results!!!!???

            1. Men are just as susceptible to the youth industry – but you can hardly even compare the pressure that women have been/are put under.

              Though that is changing too – there’s far too much money to be made in exploiting the male of the species as well.

              It’s all about money in the end – and the boys in suits know that there’s an endless supply they can mine from people’s fears and insecurities – which they continually instil via advertising, media, films etc. It’s a continual drip feed of ego-corroding poison.

              (…..my, this is turning out to be quite Scorpionic in ton)

  6. I like the photo, great dress, nice body.. Anyway here goes my reply …
    Dear Scorp, how long have you had the barbituates addiction ? Did someone do you wrong ? Everyone did ? Yeah, I hear ya. Me too. We should get together sometime over a couple of vodkas and watch some vids ? My lawyer reckons that I’ll be released any time now, so let’s make it soon. By the way have you heard of a guy called Jesus ? Man, he was so cool, come back to me with your email addy and I’ll send you a pic of me and my latest tat. It’s a full color Jap style tat of Jesus in a Chevy .. So cool . See ya soon. Oh my names Square Dawg, nice to meet ya.

      1. They just are raised already, I guess. ? A state of permanent shock. Like, omg I will never die see?! Sad.

        1. botox brow has a kind of Klingon thing. not the ridges but the perma-fixed look between the brows. it’s pretty easy to spot after a while. deadface stare kind of thing. maybe it’s a better alternative than the fate-worse-than-death-wrinkles in this death-and change-averse era we live in. who knows, maybe i’ll do it myself one day

          if i may twist the following…

          “the less things change, the more they stay the same”

  7. Yes I get that guy drifting from the other side into your room that night. You did/do have a thing and you are one of those on earth who can mediate to him where he is now – like on the other side. It could be terribly disorienting for him to have passed so suddenly and to know where he is now. You can help him.

  8. So lemme get this straight… Scorpio likes botox unless it collapses one brow that people say is fine? Or scorpio doesn’t like botox?

      1. Extreme surgery and phoenixing seem Scorpio traits! So are they saying Scorpios shouldn’t go plastic fantastic – it’s not in their stars?

        1. Welp Mars, a Scorp c0-ruler, does rule surgery too so it makes sense, but for some reason I thought plastic surgery would be more done by Librans or Leos. But come to think of it, among non-celebs I know in real life, all were Scorps except one lone Capricorn.

  9. Oh wow, an Asrological play would be serious magic! And it is really how the stage evolved – from ritual & comedy combined, no?

    1. Lol, I am not a Scorp Sun so I can’t really verify, but my gentle, elegant Sun/Merc/Venus isn’t in this exotic profile either. But still funny.. 😉

      1. My Scorp/8th house Sun-Venus, Mars, Uranus-Mercury– & Pluto-Moon in 7th Libra, says No.
        The pic resonates, tho 😉

        1. It’s ALLLLL about the image.. Just that as smouldering profile picture is tremendously Scorpio.

          The words are a lunge-parry-riposte to the idea of summoning up a brief worded profile to the complex submarine depths of Scorpio woman.

          Umm…did you want to add: Likes long walks on the beach…?

            1. You are hilarious! Thank you – i need the sweet black humour today 🙂 Kisses and hugs, Ankh. May the Scorp Phoenix rise xxx

    2. This IS in the Astro Gaga category, it is meant to be amusing, rather than a nuanced take on any Sun Sign. Sorry, i assumed that was obvious

      1. No, I’m sorry. My sense of humor has evaporated, I should have refrained from commenting. Carry on ye merry way, nothing to see here.

        1. Since Saturn in Scorpio my sense of humour has been eclipsed too, some would argue I didn’t have one to lose (moon in Scorpio problems).

          1. Lol! Ok that made me laugh, Sphinx, for reals. Oh u guys…

            Every day I begin again, you know, like we all try to do, but lately… too many doors closing, no windows opening. And tomorrow… I will try again. Thank u, Sphinx. Thank u, Mystic. xx

          2. Since Saturn in Scorpio and still regimen ting my 8th my libido has curled up and died RIP desire passion lust I’m hoping to find it again in my 9th but I do hope it’s not intellectual I’m too earthy for that

          3. I was supposed to be getting the injections to my spine today. For the 24/7 pain I’ve had for a few years now despite all the other tx? It was on the New Moon Eclipse + Chiron that my insurance co denied the procedure & so, the hospital canceled my injections. So disappointing/frustrating– I was so hopeful that some relief was in sight! But no, not this time. Vault door slamming shut. Ppl who don’t live with chronic pain have no idea… So, I’ve been recovering from that blow, that disappointment, ever since. I know you feel me, Sphinx. It’s always a power up to find someone who gets it! Rare. And wonderful. x

      2. Lol mystic scorpios love to argue! And point out any innacuracies in their opinion, though of course they can muck around with such things cause well they are scorpionic?

  10. “I got him off adult friend finder by mistake” …scorpio’s do not make mistakes lol..and once he had experienced me he would never leave, dead or not! Scorpio rising with Saturn and Neptune on ascendant with Pluto conjunct midheaven

  11. I used to have a very bad subconscious habit of dreaming about my partner-at-the-time’s ex-lovers. Not just dreams – their actual memories that they never told me which of course would freak them out. Not cool, NOT cool yo…

    Scorpio ruled 6th house but in Draconic both my Mars and Venus are is Scorpio.

  12. This: “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it”

    Spot on.

    Scorp rising.

    1. Lol yes but please don’t make Pisces out to be too flaky. Being kind to children and animals is always a good foundation haha

  13. LiberatingVenus

    Love Nietzche – that quote in particular! Fun fact: Did you know that Nietzche was a Leeb with Sun opposite Pluto? Possible Scorp Rising, but his TOB isn’t ironclad so we can’t know for sure. He spent his latter years quite mad from syphilis, so the VD would seem rather astrologically fitting…

    LMAO @ the whole thing, mostly because I could identify with a fair amount of it as a Venus/Pluto chick! Well, ok, except for the Adult Friend Finder part – I’ll leave that to the Venusian Uranians like my girlfriend who actually did find her beau on that site; I kid you not! But the tattoo bit, OMG, YES! Every Plutonian worth their salt sports at least one highly symbolic sigil – I mean, tatt – of one stripe or another. 😉 It is how we simultaneously empower ourselves and also how we recognize our own kind.

    Plus, it’s always helpful for ID-ing the body in the event that things go tits-up in bad way, ROFL! Pardon my gallows humor there – morbid humor has always been one of my “finer” traits. 😉

        1. Ha, right! Or one with Mars in Scorp (Sun) and Mercury in Libra (rising): “unscheduled explosions” indeed (just because they are my own doesnt mean they are a like exactly),, and then frantically picking up the pieces and trying to put things back in order and balance again…:-)

  14. Very funny, very cool, love it!
    Haiku like and powerful.

    Ps. I am in the 3D Life of Volcanos room, 3rd time repeated in the museum, surrounded by 6 year olds shrieking as we fly inside a volcano over lava.

    This post is sweet relief. I may need an alibi any minute.

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