This Leo woman’s romance with a famous chef imploded and given his temperament, she should be delighted but….this Capricorn Ex-Weirding is multi-faceted. My thoughts are below & it would be brilliant to get your comments on this also!
Dear Mystic Et Al,
The Capricorn Full Moon / Solstice has brought some bad energies / news transmissions around and I am wondering about the astrology of it all – and when the relief will come in!
My Capricorn ex is (was) an internationally renowned top chef who ran on three bottles of wine a day and lord knows how much Japanese whisky at night to fall asleep.
We had a passionate-turned-very tumultuous few months until he attempted to quit booze cold turkey after we had a short breakup — and in the midst of his two weeks of alleged sobriety, ghosted me MID conversation.
He literally stopped texting one afternoon and never spoke to me again. Spent all of January posting on instagram that he was a new man who ran in parks and ate blueberries and drank in moderation.
Two months later, he lost his star restaurant rating for reasons unpublished. The instagram has since turned back to bottles of Montrachet.
Despite the obvious positive of losing such a stressor in my life, the manner of his exit and the overall energy of the relationship has lingered with me for months. He’s the phantom watching me chop onions in the kitchen or telling me my bread isn’t properly laminated or whatever—even though those convos never transpired.
He cooked this ten course craziness for me once at his restaurant when wooing me and always promised to cook at home but never did – was always too drunk tired blah blah. He actually lived in a pigsty more suited to a college kid than a chef of international merit….which was bizarre to me given the focus on precision and aesthetics at work….
Fast forward to the Capricorn Full Moon (of course) – a vague but gossip-hungry acquaintance THINKS she spotted him at the bar where we first went together, sitting with some blonde.
Naturally she felt absolutely compelled to transmit the unverified information with a touch of glee. What in the solstice fuqery is this and why can’t I shake it?!
The Befuddled Leo
Dear Befuddled Leo,
I have several thoughts on this and they’re not necessarily in priority of importance.
Firstly, I have never actually known a chef – famous or otherwise – who likes to cook when off-duty. My friend Not-The-Typical-Virgo was married to a chef who mostly ate fast food at home but would launch into screechy diatribes against her potato-peeling technique or use of a ‘supermarket sauce.’
In the case of your Capricorn, you could see the squalor and chaos chez him as a counterpoint to the ornate demands of his workplace. Or, less sympathetically, as an outcome of the boozing. Disorganization in a Capricorn is a sign of a troubled psyche or was it a kind of perverse status statement?
But you know what Capricorns do super-well? Strategic stunts. They also keep score. I would not be at all surprised if he conspired to be seen at this precise, meaningful to your relationship bar, with someone attention-attracting because he wanted you to find out.
The motive might be that it would spark your Leo nature into a dazzle-and-awe pop-up seduction, complete with a now more diffuse focus on his drinking. That is, you wouldn’t see it.
Or he just wanted to ostentatiously signal that he’d moved on. Like the way some young footies players like to show they’re ‘back on the horse’ by going out with an Only Fans starlet the night after announcing their divorce. It’s a thing and naturally the tabloids need to be alerted or, in this case, mutual frenemies.
I think this person is what’s really bugging you, understandably. We’ve all known a few but Leos seem to draw them – what gives them away or delineates the difference between them and someone just being informative?
It’s the avaricious glint in the eye as they regale you with a morsel of intel that – to their small mind – puts you in the ‘loser’ position. And the avarice is because the other person being bought down ‘a peg or two’ is like diamonds to them.
And while it would have been brilliant to hyper-gush how happy you are to hear that “poor Capricorn chef” has found someone, it’s hard to do in the moment.
It’s also hard to let this guy go – in my opinion – because he would have presented initially as fabulous. As an imaginative, creatively minded Leo, it would have been hard not to conjure up beautiful visions of your new life together.
And as January was his month of blueberries and park fitness escapades, it seems like the last climax was the preceding December Solstice.
Solstice energy with all of the geomagnetic fluctuations and stark contrasts suits Cancerians and Capricorns, not Leos. Anyway the December Solstice is paired with the one we’ve just had and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if this was a stunt to re-capture your focus.
If you do absolutely nothing, I’d practically guarantee he’ll be texting you to ask for a spirulina smoothie recipe or to announce that he’s sworn off grog in prep for an ultramarathon.
Vibe-wise, I surmise that he’s hyper-driven to pursue outrageous goals and that the adrenal high from them (a) serves as a kind of alibi for the boozing and (b) means he’ll ghost anyone expressing opinions that run counter to his preferred ‘process.’
eg: a lover being sincere and ‘nice.’
I’d also bet that you have some of this within you as well so part of you knows he’s trouble to the max, another zone of your psyche is limbering up for battle because, well, of the conquest potential.
Finally, I’d guess strong Mars-Venus synergy between you – aka astral pheromones.
What does everyone else think?
Geez this reminds me just of a situation I recently left with a guy who was drinking just as much as you say, if not more.
One weekend when I was out I came back to find 3 empty bottles of tequila. He told me he drank a 6 pack usually before he came home from his 9-5 job. When I finally confronted him about his drinking in the most gentle way out of concern, he became so offended and said I was the most judgmental person he had ever encountered. That who did I think I was to have the right to ask?
I imagine with your Pisces moon that you, like me, a sensitive twelfth-house woman with Venus square Neptune are a well of love & compassion. That is drained dry by these unconscious, controlling and consuming men. And our light is like honey to these dark types I’ve learned. Protect your precious heart!
Be thankful he’s gone and stay gone, unless you repeat another painful lesson or two like I did. They just proved more lessons on repeat to remind myself how much an addicted man like that can take everything from your heart, but still turn it around to be your wrong doing in their logic.
In the end you know the truth. It’s often a painful game with these types, that teaches you to stand strong in your own heart.
Sending you love & surely you will find a man (not an emotional avoidant child) with some water to complement yours x
” I imagine with your Pisces moon that you, like me, a sensitive twelfth-house woman with Venus square Neptune are a well of love & compassion. That is drained dry by these unconscious, controlling and consuming men. And our light is like honey to these dark types I’ve learned. Protect your precious heart! ”
Thanks NW . This is something that I needed to hear today. I’m a Pisces Rising with Neptune trine Venus and after a long time beginning to feel like my old self again. And with that comes back the increased sensitivity with abrasive people. Instead if ignoring my feelings this time round I will nurture myself and avoid or just simply walk away from these people..
Yep, it’s a Cap guy thing. Didn’t Bowie do the same to Angie, his first wife?
I was with a Cap who had broken up with his previous partner (of 14 years, a year previously) with a surgical, “It’s over,” and then disappeared. To the point that the poor woman started stalking me to be friends on social media, with the purpose, no doubt, to try and get some closure. When he subsequently decided we were done, the cutoff was just as abrupt. I had a little phishing “hey!” message months later, which I assumed was him, but I’d already deleted his number by then.
Astrology aside this sounds traumatizing to be honest and it left you feeling powerless which ghosting typically incites these kinds of feelings. Sometimes people suck and if they don’t process their own junk and metabolize it they just pass it on to others. So I bet while he secretly or blatantly judges others he holds an immense amount of shame. And FYI, shame is somewhat of a self-centered situation unlike guilt. So yes, you were alleviated from this situation but a loss is a loss and it should be felt and grieved and processed. Consider the things he brought to your life that you felt were missing and sit with those feelings. He made you feel alive and maybe adventurous or seen (hello, Leo). Acknowledge that and I promise you, you will experience something much greater down the road or you will incorporate more things that invite those same feelings into your life on your own so no one can just rob you of that next time all Willy-nilly. (Astrologically speaking, this is coming from an 11th house Cancer sun, Virgo rising and Sag moon). Please take care of yourself. Big hugs.
Ugh the unceremonious way a Cap man can end a relationship is a serious burn. I had a similar situation with a Capricorn Fashion Stylist in London. He was everything my Leo Sun wanted in a man style, presence, humor, drive until the point where his drive came before his level of empathy or plain decency really.
I was right in the middle of an ugly situation where my Father had weeks to live and maybe he saw impending doom and wanted to cut & run before he felt trapped but… he called me one day and it was done. Like a business transaction. He dropped me like a bad habit and two weeks later my Father died.
I did simultaneously implode and explode because along came my Saturn Return in my 1st house next to my Pluto which saw me clean house and wipe out my whole friendship group like some Friendship tsunami lol, because the veil had been lifted and welllllll Uncle Pluto just did the rest.
…… a few years later we reconnected and the whole not even wanting to be a friend during the worst moment of my life, left a VERY bitter taste in my mouth and I may or may not have dabbled in petty behaviors because I was still hurt.
Hurt people hurt people 💔
Current me would never, but this is now over 10years of therapy, healing and living a spiritual life later ✨
It’s crazy how much we leave unsaid in a relationship, especially to the people we love 🩷
Astrology aside, this is classic narcissistic behaviour. I’d recommend Dr Ramani’s channel on yt so you can clear your own self of it and know what to look out for in future – as if you attracted one you’re likely to attract more…
Ghosting really does a number on you tho. I was ghosted once and it lingers – hence the name. The one thing that worked for me was a video by Russell Brand – regardless what anyone thinks of him now, he nailed it in that ghosting video. I don’t remember what he said but it worked. Exorcised that ghost and i was never haunted again…🌬👻💨
Good luck, you’ll look back and realise what a bullet you just dodged… 😊
Being a Leo it’s the mid convo ghosting that’s like an ear-worm you can’t get rid of. When you think of him with longing just tell yourself it was a psychological imprint of someone’s truely bad behaviour towards you and your psyche is trying to make sense of it – this is not love he is a trainwreck. He will destroy any woman he is with, you don’t want to go down with the Titanic – the obsessive need for perfection in his cooking is an obsessive need for control. He could not control you so took the ultimate control of his feeling by ghosting you.
Ghosting is the worst thing for the psyche..keeps you wondering therefore taking up no stealing your time like they set up camp in your mind with all the utilities to boot.
No respect for anyone who does that.
Mystic’s advice is spot on.
Don’t take the bait.
You don’t deserve a “fixer upper” you deserve the whole package. Your true destiny awaits.
You’re a Leo FFS, distract yourself with some creative pursuit or project (theatre? Fashion?) and move on.
Oh god, I hear this; what irks them is a trigger within you.
I once had a huge crush on a Capricorn during a holiday as a teen. I have never felt so psychically strung along. We hung out every day, he was a little older. Then at a party, he tried to kiss me when I was almost passed out. I pushed him away and puked. He never spoke to me again. I spent months wondering what I had done wrong. This is a very strong theme for the over thinker.. I did the right thing but bruised his ego. I had nothing to lose but in the time of digital communication now, there are so many more ways to exert revenge & keep that thread connected.
I’d suggest pushing whatever mars is in her chart & give him the finger in every direction possible; inwards, outwards, all around, then cold plunge some sense into her body & reemerge glowing. Literal cold plunge.
I heard this from a friend about a former lover: we see the amazing qualities first, fall in love with the potential, and breakup when they rage and abuse in fear because they’re scared to take the step towards their full potential that you see. it’s amazing how much we protect our comfort zones. I’m definitely guilty
This makes so much sense to me. Thanks, Nan, for that succinct description. And I’m sure I’m guilty of this too 🙂
Such a wise perspective – and it works both ways in relationships. Thank you Nan.
Beffudled Leo…. people, regardless of astrology , who come in all hot and sweaty, have a tendency do everything the same way, esp if theyre challenged . I have also recently had someone leave abruptly, without conversation or explanation. It stings.
I read recently that all of our relationships are ultimately a way for us to learn about ourselves, what we lack, and look for in other people. I agree with scorpleocap…. do more of whatever floats your boat. I know thats what I’ll be doing xx
Befuddled Leo here — cannot thank you all enough for your support and ideas (and Mystic, as always, for your brilliance). In keeping with suggestions – I’ve booked tickets to the ballet and will get some salt and sage on hand. Have also blocked the Cap in case the recent stunt was a ploy. So-called news bringing friend recently announced that she’s moving, so I feel grateful to eliminate that energy from my life too.
Re: the Mars in Aries comment, I don’t know his full chart. I am a Leo sun – Aries rising – Pisces moon. Put on a good front about rebounding with the good hair, but my moon has tendency to wallow. 🙂
driven Capricorns… hot until they fall to pieces and you get barely a nod in acknowledgement for safeguarding their mental health like a cargo net holding down a trailer load of loose trash. the chaotic college style living possibly also reflected priorities and cognitive limits.
a proper friend would have paused and first asked themself if mentioning an unverified sighting of a significant ex, *with* someone else, *in* an emotionally important location, was in your best interests. :/
sometimes a relationship experience means that I change or allow in some new energy that couldn’t get in another way. that way I could bring it back to me instead of thinking it was more about the other person.
if dwelling on things. I ask myself what it all showed me about me. did it shake me out of a rut, reignite my dreamscape, or feel like I was on a different planet? shakedown of routines? get me to accept something difficult about myself?
adrenaline rush, shell shock and creative connectivity, from the other comments, these are what I was thinking too. I also agree with the advice to do nothing about this in relation to other people. nil hustling. emit no radiation on the subject. (could be my cap moon self protection mode.) you may still be healing, so do your best Leo-ing and focus on your own shine. if he really is back in the hood, you’ll cross paths soon enough and you’ll be a cool customer about it all. it will also fortify you against friends who are not as interested in your wellbeing as you are. 💛
oh dear sorry about the essay
wish we could edit, arrh. I’ve hit a wrong note re safeguarding other’s mental health. it’s no one else’s job as such (different from holding space in key ways) ok end transmission
Thank you for sharing your story with us and being so open ❤️ I agree that the real villain in this piece is the snake ‘friend’ who saw fit to pass on this intel!
I’m keen to know more about the charts involved.. Is there some kind of lo-Neptune square stuff going on? Chaos behind the scenes v winning in the public arena, attempts at pass-agg manipulations etc. But never mind him – I’m curious to know where Cap/Virgo is in your chart and what your rising sign is. Your admiration for his outward success shines through, and you also seem pretty clear that you can’t be doing with a person who doesn’t live an orderly life. It seems you’ve really connected with his creativity and this could be why you ‘can’t shake it’. It can be so compelling when we meet someone who is expressing their creativity in a cool way particularly as you are a Leo (I’ve been there, hence my interp). Maybe this is the key? You have told us about his creativity but not your own. Perhaps it’s taking time to let go because that creative part of you isn’t getting expressed in your life as much as you would like.
As for thoughts on what to do from here? Unfollow, delete, block etc. A clean break. Then devote all your time and energy to being your brilliant, creative, expansive Leo self. xx Can I add a big caveat that I don’t know anything about you except what I’ve understood from what you have written, and there could be a big element of me needing to attend my own lecture, ha.
Based on internet impressions I sometimes feel like I am the only person who really likes a Capricorn man. Did I just find a good one?
I like caps too, Penelope D. my Capricorn-friendly placements probably help. but I think they’re among the easiest signs to understand.
I dig the competance and drive. My Capricorn has a lot of Sag and Aquarius placements in the rest of his chart so I guess it balances out.
Love me a Cap man possibly due to my Cap rising. Their success pays for my air tickets to elsewhere plus accomodation. (back in the day 🙂
Ouch, ghosting like that hurts. I wonder if he might also have mars in aries given his ability to abruptly move on like that? Such a quick energy shift and no looking back. I had a Capricorn sun man with mars in aries quickly skedaddle out of my life once too. Definitely a case of a blessing in disguise and time will certainly heal but I’d recommend getting into the salt and housewitchery for sure. Grab a luxe salt scrub like black chicken love your body scrub or even just rock salt from the supermarket. Salt baths are great too. Remain regal and fill your fabulous leonine self with as much uplifting music, theatre, cinema, etc as you can. Live performances can be particularly potent, if that’s your thing. Fill your cup with whatever floats your boat. The ghosts of him that linger on will start to disappear.
And yep, Mystic’s summary of his vibe sounds so spot on and generally typical of a lot of low-capricornian men. Hyper driven and wanting to climb that mountain…but quite happy to do that ALONE.
This post also makes you reflect upon these celebrity/top of their field types and the worship around them vs the reality. All that glitters is not gold indeed. Why do we revere these top of their field types who are complete a-holes? Anyway, just my ponderings…
Sounds harsh but I think any ‘kindness’ with him could be interpreted as weakness.
And I would not attempt engaging…just based on personal experience!
Capricorn energy is quite focused on ‘power’ (open to a multitude of definitions) and every conversation can be a power struggle.
Capricorns ghosting mid conversation is a thing? Is it contagious? Its awful to be on the receiving end but I concur with Mystic. Do absolutely nothing. Not one thing.
I mean, go live your fabulous Leo life, of course! Get your hair and nails done. Go out to an art gallery with a nicer friend – not the snake. Go on a holiday. And read tonnes of blog posts from Baggage Reclaim. We deserve better.
Y E S!
The chef. I mean, anecdotal but after the tense, controlled and stressful kitchen hours they’re always walking chaos.
The acquaintance…is it a mutual one or a viper looking to start a group meeting about your fall from favour?
It sounds like you’ve experienced a combination of adrenaline rush and shell shock.
Personally I’d be smudging, salt circling and gonging away right through to the weekend. But I’m averse to malevolent spirits both dead and living.
Unicorn Sparkles, I agree with your take.
Hospo folk are in a few cases maladjusted when they begin on their career path and in most cases twisted and mangled by the hours, the stress and the pressure cooker of working among this higher concentration of warped people 5-6-7 days each week.
About the messy home. In the restaurant kitchen there are always junior staff who tidy up after you … chefs I am acquainted with are always the last ones to wash up. They secretly hope (or openly assume) someone else does it. Which is a dumb assumption if they live solo!
Ans many chef’s i knew were on amphetamines washed down with alcohol that seesm necessary to keep the ridiculous pace they need to go.