The Martian Dark Moon Vortex

Mars on the South Node gives this Dark Moon a different dimension.  This time of the month is always a lunar low tide, the Moon of Letting Go.  But action planet Mars in the sci-fi, spaced-out, Zeitgeist Tripping sign of Aquarius? Conjunct the South Node on Dark Moon? It’s something else entirely. The South Node in Aquarius is like a galactic phenom. A swirling, quintessence-powered vortex of your past, past lives and the story of your life (or lives) so far.

The Action Planet triggers Grudge Flashpoints and long-gone defeats, tune in and you’ll detect a distinct pulse of aggro. This phenom can conjure up enmity from long ago.

A noxious memory floating in on the breeze of your otherwise white-flowery/sunny scented present day. Random encounters with vaguely hostile-for-no-reason people or flashbacks.  Naturally, this is not your cue to armor up and go back in time to re-fight an already-won battle. But it might be a useful prompt to value what you did win for yourself and the treacherous terrain you crossed to get there.

In fact, apart from the usual cat-person, carb-loading and house-witching activity of the Dark Moon, the Mars presence means you can aggressively cut ties with the past. Or drastically update the settings in your psyche. I was reading in the media today about a woman who had been a sex worker and activist years ago.

She got a notification in the mail that she had been awarded an O.B.E for her work bringing attention to H.I.V. and changing the culture of sex work towards safe sex. First – classic Freudian misread – I read it as saying she had an out of body experience (OBE) because of her sex work activism. “Wild,” i thought, drinking my tenth espresso.

Then I realized it was an Order of the British Empire – as it is Queen’s Birthday weekend where I live, so they get dished out. And the Mars/South Node twist is that when she got the envelope with the crown on the back of it, she immediately thought she was “in trouble.”

That seems SO Mars on the South Node to me. It’s like a state of being in high-alert over scenarios from the past. And with the commensurate opportunity to release them. As this is Aquarius we’re talking about, you don’t visualize them floating off down some Zen river.  See them as being particle accelerated into a vortex-black-hole sort of situation.

If you have a natal Mars conjunct South Node placement, your psyche is still in touch with old battles, defeats, and victories. You were born a veteran. Tactics and strategy come naturally to you, offsetting your sometimes defensive persona.

Images: Helmut Newton

114 thoughts on “The Martian Dark Moon Vortex”

  1. Under vegence of the vortex, my longtime at school chum is a domestic goddess with four kids. She is blessed with affluence so she donates her time to our music dept. Just to be nice and she likes the moms there. (Lucky for us!)

    She graciously undertook command of concert wardrobe central- spreadsheets for 200 plus dresses, bow ties, tuxedos-pants and jackets, vests, dress shirts. I have assisted her for five years and I marvel at her ease and love of the smallest detail.

    It is a thorough antidote to the virtual. Very Virgo-Pallas-Athena world- each item is numbered, hung properly- spread-sheeted by clothing type and then chronologically. Each has it’s own cubby- For all the zip zap of computers- this is all 3D real time work- folding, hanging, ordering.

    We spent ten hours last week and so far six hours this week with inventory. This is communal labor invisible to most.

    She also helps with marching band stuff, but another woman heads that up. We helped her a bit this week. So my friend was appalled at the relative disorder and chaos. The cardinal sin- Uniforms returned unlaundered!!! Ewww! (My Libran nose was wrinkled too!)

    Today she asked me if the should take over the marching band stuff as well. I said it might cause offense but I was sure that her help was greatly appreciated.

    She transforms the wardrobe room to a temple- and Mystic’s housewitch mp3 speaks to that art.

    Her orderly vibe is bred in the bone- she is incapable of the imprecise, the sloppy, the vague. And she radiates joy and calm- I do hope it rubs off on me! I do return home and purge naff mementos after our time together.

    In this world of tenuous connections, it has been rewarding to work away from screens with fabric and labels- assuring all is in order.

    Happy New Moon!

  2. Rather comically rather than cosmiclly yesterday I had an ex, or rather The Ex trying to meet up with me as he was back in London for the day. I didn’t need to consult with anyone to know that was a bad idea and while I had already said no to his original request for a lengthy, entire afternoon meet up, I toyed briefly with the idea of a goodbye hug idea before deciding against it.

    I don’t need someone else to give me “closure”
    that is something I learned to give myself ages ago.
    Also I found his “grieving for the life we cannot have” just ludicrous and mildly annoying.
    So chose, going home and fixing myself a meal to be the better option.

  3. I’m so feeling this aggressive energy around EVERYWHERE and knew something was going on.
    …”what you did for yourself…and treacherous terrain you crossed to get there..” Perfect Words !
    (Right now this is daily M.O. , rich rewarding exhausting.)

    Yesterday a.m. an ambulance came to take my dad to the nearby hospital,
    when he was safely tucked in I had to make a dental appointment or pay a hefty cancellation fee. (do they charge for real ?) Off to work for a half day that was not a usual workday but mandatory to help out the business, then back to the hospital to visit my dad.

    Today my {“psyche settings are updated” !!}

    Did you know you can buy toothpaste with extra fluoride but it’s over the counter at the pharmacy ? Bought some today.

    Now I’ve realized that my new career ambitions mean I have to deal with powerful men for the rest of my life and yikes if that hasn’t brought up a million issues.. And there is all kinds of powerful right ?

    The self-actualized, the aggressive bully who tries to punch a hole into your auric field because there is something about you he can’t quite put into a box.or stick a label on you in parentheses. The young millennial you thinks you’re his mom & is trying to get back at his mom and then he gets himself fired for something.

    Mystic if you read this would you consider doing a small piece on man times again but for this weird year ? Tech Bros, New age surfer MBAs. and how they view women right now I’m so confused but HAPPY & STRONGish…

    Blessed be the fruit just kidding.

  4. I have been decluttering like a mofo but the biggest and most symbolic item of a defunct relationship – my bed – seems to need special treatment. Still working on a plan for that. Oh and I have a large piece of furniture that my ex conveniently left behind that I literally cannot give away (op shops refuse it, when advertising it for free people express interest and then ghost me). As a last resort, an axe and a match.

    That Freudian slip made me laugh out loud. Wild indeed!

    1. Interesting re: bed. After giving every piece of furniture I owned away two years ago, I suddenly found myself ousted from fully-furnished resort abode – a la Transition Zone – to leasing 180 sq m of rad studio space in a commercial precinct 5 mins from the beach.

      Purchased a mattress first-up but no bed ’till two nights ago, after a little manifesting shesh. No bull – logged on to facey and a brand-new queen bed base appears for free. Said, “Come get it”.

      Cleaned up fully, deleted tinder, dead linkedin contacts, photos and docs I’ll never use, then Feng shui’d my bedroom and dreamt deep.

      Waiting for this new moon is like watching a bloody kettle boil.

      1. Congratulations on your new bed!
        And yes, this new moon cannot come fast enough for me.

      2. Thank you. Just scored a front loader for free! Apparently the Feds had some scheme going. a discount on water efficient washing machines, equating to peeps upgrading, flooding the market with good used ones. Hmm, wonder what else I can manifest for tomorrow? Yay

  5. what is the time period of this? meaning – when did the dark moon period with mars on the south node begin and when is it clearing?

  6. Someone even more autocratic and deluded than him. On the Big Swinging Dick scale, north korea wins, in DT’s books. He can only watch and learn.

    1. probably a bit tasteless in hindsight… ha
      But to his credit (I use that word carefully and in a very limited sense, and purely from a detached-geopolitics perspective), this is possibly a classic gemini move? Provoke someone “least-likely” via social media and then strike up a conversation. Maybe (perversely) he is driven by curiosity as much as anything else.

      I wonder what kim jong un’s astro is.

      the astrology of murderous dictators. hmm it’s been done i guess

    2. it would be interesting to check the astrology of the (end of the) Korean War and see what’s going on there.

    3. There’s some cojones on cojones astro between Trump & JK:

      JK’s Sun squares Trumps Jupe.

      KJ’s Jupe trine Trump’s Mars.
      KJ’s Mars sextile Trump’s Asc-Regulus.

      This is some bigboyz mutual stimulating synergy going down…. Just thinking that In the good ol days they’d be puffing each others huge cigars. Now it’s all about hand-jobs … ok,sorry, hand-shakes.
      It has it’s moments though, like the welts (Macron Mars marks?) on Trump’s hand … a bit underhanded but an effective sly Mars move all the same…

  7. Sheeeesh what a dark moon this is. Carb loading to the max.
    I started a declutter/rearrangement of furniture a week or so ago and weird things have been occurring. I think the Triple Toro and I are about to say our goodbyes. He’s watched me buy new furniture and rearrange the old and realised that I am not moving from here to shack up with him any time soon. We’ve had many almost-arguments about this recently, he is continually pushing me for some kind of living together arrangement and I’m getting angry that he won’t respect what I’ve said about it. He’s now giving me the silent treatment; and when I call him and end it properly he will blame me for everything and go off in a pass-agg sulk. Oh well – better off without him, I know.
    I listened to the housewitchery MP3 last night. Very thought-provoking. It’s prompted a rethink on some pieces of art and other mementoes.

    1. So interesting as I’m the opposite. Libra Moon/Cancer rising fiance is dragging his heels on living together and its been a simmering issue on the edge of every argument we have lately.

      Of course he (and you!) are entitled to your preference in terms of living space. I’ve been doing work on why it’s so important to me, why I’m pushing for it, what it symbolizes, etc., But also trying to understand what the significance is for him.

      On my end it’s an example of our lives actually coming together and moving forward collectively.

      For him, he’s expressed some fear about losing himself and his personal space. As if, somehow, we can’t cohabitate and still be separate people. (Also deeper issues around home and safety and having control over that).

      Hopefully yours gets sorted amicably Chrysalis. It’s not fair that he’s being pass-agg about it (although I can’t say I haven’t done the same previously).

      I’m just really trying to be loving and communicative to show him why it’s a better option for us. But ultimately, if he’s not ready within a reasonable time frame, then there’s obviously a deeper issue with our expectations of commitment, marriage and cohabitation that we have to sort through!

      1. It’s interesting that he is your fiance yet is dragging his heels on living together… I would have thought that he could see the advantages of living together and building a life. Hopefully you can work through it – it’s not easy!

        In my situ it’s simple – hard but simple – and has taken me about a year to figure out. My hard truth is that while I am fond of him I don’t align with his values. My Cap moon is suspicious of a man his age with so much debt and who blames his situation on everyone else – family, exes etc. He likes a beer and a good time and I like a more sober life. Our long term values aren’t aligned but it’s my affection for him that has made me hesitant to end it so far. Plus, I hate the idea of being alone again at my age (post Chiron return) when my ex hub has recently floated off into the sunset with a new bride. Tough issues to grapple with but I am accepting now.

        You sound calm and loving and in a space where you’re willing to meet your fiance half way – I hope he can see that, and take a leap of faith! x

  8. I’m realising that my natal mars in aqua may have more of an influence on my persona than I ever bothered to consider. To my surprise I come across as cool (as in a bit hard to reach), a bit caustic, not as in being an a-hole, but just not as piscean as I thought. It depends on the friend describing me of course. My capacity to detach had probably developed a little… Unevenly. I think natal mars in aqua adds to to my natal energies that oppose the deployment of behaviours that could be described as affectionate, cuddly, cooperative, warm, open, expressive, you know, everything that makes people like you, lol. It’s possible I am a socially challenged jerk but only 10 of my closest friends would step up in my defence hahahaha .. they can take the heat and I love them dearly for it
    Maybe I’m just tired right now.

    1. It’s a fuqing neverending battle for supremacy with the “oh did I hurt you I’m so sorry” pisces things, I tell you

      1. Yes, it is Chrysalis. I agree re 8th house
        Transit-wise it seems to have (over the longer term) most distinctively played out in the fields of intimacy & sex, testing /challenging my capacity in a relationship, although a lot of that encompasses the Uranus, Neptune, Chiron in Aqua decade or two, basically my 20s and 30s sooo.. that’s just standard growing up I guess..
        No help there am I haha

  9. I just left an online group as work-life collided too much and boundaries were blurring. My job wanted me in that group for promos and likes but too risky for HIPPA breaches. Great reluef.

  10. Outta the past- a new cousin! We chatted yesterday- for two hours, catching up on 60ish years of family history. Her dad disappeared when she was three. Left wife and five kids. Visited when she was five. He remarried-never saw them again.

    Oddly I have my dad’s letters and family pics- so I can share. Her mum stayed super haute- not bitter. Her Grandma lived with them. Her Grandma was also widowed- and very matriarchal line- raised my cousin’s mum with matriarchal help.

    We were like little kids- so excited and talked as if we had always known each other. Cannot wait to visit in person. Mars Aqua and SN are retro in my 3rd.

      1. It is really miraculous as I have zero family of origin left. She is the only cousin on my dad’s side that I have met. We are sharing photos, documents and memories.

  11. Therapy and doing less, zero impulse spending means uncomfortable feelings seem more prominent than ever. Only because I’m making room for them to be processed instead of numbing out or being too frantic/ / creating chaos/ blaming other etc to be aware of them.

      1. Yes, just back from therapy now.
        I joke that it feels like being in a seance because we spend so much time talking to the parts of me that are frozen in time. Its asking what “she” needs and inviting them in and valuing “her”, making her feel safe etc.
        Not comfortable but productive.

  12. I don’t know what it is but Dark Moon have become gloomier and gloomier for me, with the passing years.
    Before subscribing to this site I would not know about it.
    Now I at least know it will pass as of tomorrow evening.
    And yes everyone is particularly rude and aggressive today: I’d really rather be home with comfort food and my cats.

      1. LightningButterfly

        SO RUDE! And I’m not doing well with the “rising above Muggles” thing…I have gone off on 2 recruiters last week for being rude fuqwits.

  13. So I know during Mars rx, you dont go around picking fights.

    My question is, who is picking fights when family members are not cooperating on dealing with a property issue when your name is on the property? If I start a legal case, will I be considered the one picking the fight regardless of situation?

    I have been avoiding legal action for the last 6 months, partly out of consideration for another family member’s wishes, but I am coming close to the legal route being the only option left. Unfortunately we are now in retro, and they are becoming more and more difficult to contend with. Mars Rx in Aquarius; Aquarian mother is the main member here. All of this happening in my 8th, shared resources(this property).

    Any suggestions? MM, I would love to book you for this but I know your consults are filled 🙁

      1. OMG!! That is so sweet of youuuuuuu!
        I would only take if you are 2000% sure and MM is also ok with it. I am super grateful for the offer T__T

      2. OMG Starbaies, you paid it forward and now the beautiful energy of your generosity has come back to you! You guys are the best. <3<3<3

      3. Hey Starbaies
        I’m more than 100% happy for you to take my consult. I know that you gifted me the wallet without any expectation as my circumstances were so dire at the time it would have been quite insane and a rather terrrible bet if you had had any expectations :)))) I’m hardly rolling in it now but I am no longer an undischarged bankrupt and am working stealthily on a new business venture – stealth sounds like wealth haha xxx

      4. Ill email Mystic shortly to figure out the details 🙂 Tysm again, and for being a light for me at this time. Really, it means so much.

        May your wealth grow stealthily and steadily abundant, dear Invicta. Rooting for you and keeping you in my thoughts and prayers xxx

    1. I’m doing so much better these days and don’t have any pressing need for a consult. Its a “would be nice” rather than “this is urgent”
      I booked one because it was available and I had money in my account.
      This issue sounds pretty big and it would be my pleasure to gift you as you so kindly did for me when I was going through hell. xxx

      1. I love my wealth wallet and the year of bankruptcy has passed so going forwards now as Pluto continues through my second house. It’s early days for Pluto’s transit through my 2nd house still so I’m laying low and thinking more about being frugal and being a financial grownup. Interestingly Pluto is going back and forth over my North Node, 22″ Capricorn.

      2. So happy to hear the good news and that the wealth wallet has worked its magic in your life!! 😀 I will have to scoop one up too when the time is right 😉

      3. You are an angel…. tysm for the offer. You dont have to offer me anything back, I gave you the wallet without any expectations. Im glad to hear you are doing better. I havent seen you around here. Im not around here regularly either but havent seen any of your comments for quite some time. xxx

      4. Starbaies & Invicta -thanks to both of you for being lovely lights in a rather low dark moon period

      5. Sweet of you. Wanted to share and give back to the community. Thanks to Invicta for being my light too at this time.

      6. I’ve not had a laptop for ages but now have a 2nd hand MacBook air and so have been back for a few days xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  14. Thank you everyone on here for your love and support of others – it is so good to be reminded of both the resilience and beauty that humans are actually capable of <3

  15. Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot

    Yes! I totally get this! Found out someone from my (DEEP) past…had changed so much as to be unrecognisable. How the mighty have fallen!

  16. Housewitching the shit outta my new digs yesterday whilst listening to prosperity consciousness healing podcast (lemon eucalyptus essential oil in vacuum cleaner for vibe blasting efficiency); I discovered some old dread locks I’d kept from father of my children which I’d hung onto from back 2012 during our haige fucking nightmare legal schizz where I was accused of kidnapping our children after he strangled me in front of said kids..( I’d held onto the dreads in case of any possible need for voodoo insurance in case he tried to follow thru on those threats again). Needless to say finding these scabby bits of DNA in my closet took me down that vortex of past drama making me realise how far I’d come in restoring my Ju-ju after that wonderful yet hard hitting lesson re boundaries and integrity and self love. Fast forward to now, Quantum strangeness abounding, shifts in perception and the ex and I are in good standing these days. “These things have got to go!” I think to myself. So off to the ocean I tramped rainbow umbrella battling this torrential storm, stripping off my clothes I waded into the ocean and cast them off into the murky depths wind and clouds howling, with an incantation of releasing any hints of left over unseen blocks or ANYTHING from this era that may be blocking any of the love, joy and abundance that this brilliant universe throws at me each day. Later that evening to complete the ceremony before bed I aspected this conversation between he and I where I acknowledged our old partnership, and honoured our learnings and the beautiful gift of our children, and informed him (cosmically) that his DNA had been returned to the sea. Thanked him for the good times, acknowledged that he took some things from me and some of those things he can keep, but now with the release of the dreads, I’m taking back my sovereignty once and for all. My room felt so energetically dense, like a soup of heralding cosmic beings all letting out a sigh of relief at the same time. Then I received a call from said ex ( highly unusual), telling me his new partner had gone into labour that afternoon….we are both libra.

      1. I did that BEFORE I knew about the MP3! Ps it’s a baby girl born on the same day as his first born (our son)!

  17. I bought a cherry tree to plant for the birth of my niece, and I was going to call my Aqua brother today to set up a date to plant it at his house, but now I think I will wait a few days and call him then. We get along well, but he doesn’t approve of the boundaries I set with our other two siblings.

    In our family, setting boundaries, acknowledging issues etc. is seen as more of a transgression than causing deliberate harm to others. The more damage someone causes the more everyone just dances around them and pretends it isn’t happening. And that we are all happy, exceptional people, who don’t have needs of our own, and are never bothered by anything. I have Neptune conjunct the South Node in Sagittarius. Facile happy-go-lucky enabling run amok.

    When I was seven, my father smashed my head into a brick wall, for no reason other than the impulse to do so, on Easter in front of my entire extended maternal family. Probably 40 people. No called him out on it. They just tried to make me stop crying. I realized then with great clarity that no one would ever help me (Capricorn in the 4th). I would have to help myself, and from that moment on, I would never let anyone mistreat anyone in front of me without trying to intervene (Cancer sun in a midheaven stellium with Mars, Mercury, and Asteroid Lilith). Although the internet has changed that commitment somewhat, as it would take lifetimes to confront everything worth confronting. In person, I still abide by it.

    My brother reacted a different way, becoming silent, and dutiful, and extremely uncomfortable around any display of emotions. Sentimentality, in particular, is excruciating to him. I understand this about him, and I don’t push him on it, so he’s opened up to me quite a bit. But he’s still internalized the idea that love means having no boundaries. That he can simply obey his way into a peaceful life. The fallacy that if f we give Hitler Poland, he won’t go for France.

    Venus is exalted in Neptune. The glowing dream of love we all desire. To make that dream real, we can look to the planets exalted in the two Venus signs. The Moon exalted in Taurus shows the attachment we need to stay by the ones we love, to be loyal and steadfast, to do the the real embodied physical gestures that demonstrate love. Saturn exalted in Libra shows the need to also set boundaries, to show reciprocity, to make sure things are fair for everyone in the relationship.

    If we over-give and are deluded about and dependent on those who intend us harm, or simply do not care about us, the balance is lost. Saturn is not being exalted. If we are fickle and surface oriented, the balance is lost. The Moon is not being exalted. If we are overly materialistic or calculating, the balance is lost, Venus is not being exalted. It is a trinity of energies that balance each other.

    My brother is embracing the Moon at the expense of Venus and Saturn. In his ethos, one stands by family, no matter what, and all emotion is suspect. In my ethos, family is people who truly love each other and show it, whether they are related by blood or not. My birth family, for the most part, does not fit this criteria. Many of them are fond of me. As a Libra rising, I am something of a favorite, even. But despite that fondness, not one of them would be there for me in a dark moment. Or even want to listen when I talk. The last time I spoke at length to my sister I timed how long I could go on the phone without her noticing I wasn’t saying anything, and it took 45 minutes. And when I did say something, she immediately changed the subject back to herself, peppering all of it with undermining comments. This is not a person who cares about me. And I am no longer willing to pretend she is for the sake of convention. I have always taken care of her, protected her from our parents, brushed her hair, checked her homework, gotten her ready for school, let her treat me as inferior, because of the low self esteem rising off her like the fog off a sewer grate, trying to make up for our childhood. To do for others what I wish was done for me. But I am not an inexhaustible resource to be exploited forever. It was a mistake to confuse my caring as weakness that she could use and lash out at with impunity. My brother does not understand my choice to stop this pattern and raise the standard.

    This is increasingly something I am coming to terms with and taking less personally. But I should probably heed the synchronicity of the stars and spend some more time meditating on it and finding equilibrium, before I call my brother.

    1. Greatly admire your clarity and ability to articulate this in a way that others can reflect on.

      Capricorn or Saturn anywhere near the moon or 4th house is a real treat. It’s taken me forever to grasp the way that plays out. But my god, the absolute clarity once you begin to map the behaviours that should have been there but weren’t/aren’t, and the behaviours that are there but should be nowhere near the home front.

      It takes a great deal of humility and self recognition to be able to own our place in that and assume the personal responsibility to shift it.

      I think that part of the problem is that in having families before we truly know our own minds, i.e. when youngish, perpetuating dysfunctional patterns is almost a given. So we have a dysfunctional relationship with personal empowerment, emotional intelligence and so on. Hence a crap ability to address affective family events of any dimension
      I don’t know how we get around this! Maybe we are, with more effective awareness of healthy behaviour thanks to social media etc.. maybe

      Anyway, probably adding my 2c there melodryad.

      1. if it helps, he’ll be basically unbreakable, like a one-man militia, or a 120-day Vipassana guru in the Arctic Tundra, hostage extraction, something like that.

      2. I think it is possible to get around it, but it comes off in layers like the layers of an onion.

        Six years ago, I will still dealing with clinically diagnosed PTSD. Now that is not the case. I used to have nightmares every night, now my dreams are almost always ambivalent to pleasant. I feel good most of the time. Every few months, I will hit a low point, but I’ve learned if I navigate through it, understand it, and dismantle it from the inside I can level up. Because the dynamics of the low points are operating in the background all the time like a barely audible hum. When the emotional volume turns up, there is a chance to shut the program down for good. And feel better than before from then on out.

        It is like working out to failure, when we feel our weakest, when we have hit our limit, as long as we don’t push ourselves to the point of injury, that is precisely when we are becoming the strongest we can become thus far.

    2. I hear you. Your experience sounds very similar to my own experiences with family. My mother is a boundary-less, transactional Aquarius and my father a low-Pisces so lack of boundaries has, and still is, a huge issue.
      My brother is someone who has stood by silently while I was beat until my body was covered in bruises. Just a couple years ago my father attempted to choke me and my brother still did nothing. As the only other male in the family, he would be the logical choice as to who would offer their protection or support, but I received none. He on the other hand, has never been struck or hurt in any way…. raised like a delicate flower. He has failed at everything that was given to him. They reward his failure with kindness and compassion. They reward my achievement with abuse and theft.

      I dont ever believe in standing by silently while watching others get hurt. I also am tired of being kind and considerate towards others when they dont give half of a rats arse towards me. The phrase you use about giving Hitler Poland so he wont go for France articulates well how I was raised in my youth. I was forced since childhood into submission and obedience. They never spared the rod, hand, fist, or other various methods to make my life miserable, lest I lose what little I had. I have not always expressed myself in such Uranian ways as I can be quite sentimental, but I have found that in my later years embracing this side of me is the only way I can survive the horrendous lack of compassion displayed by my own kind towards myself. To be a martyr in this kind of situation is to be sucked dry and left to die…. to love myself and to rise up is to be beat, abused, disrespected and taken advantage of at every turn. Either way my end of the stick is the same. I might as well choose the path of self-love anyway.

      I just want to let you know that I hear you, and my heart feels pain reading your words. It brings up my own painful experiences. Ones I dont like to share. I know not everyone’s experiences are the same, so I dont assume that I know exactly what your situation was like. However my heart goes out to you. I wish I could have something more erudite to offer here, but I also am working through my own issues in this arena. My sincere compassion and positive wishes are all I can offer you. May you quickly find the peaceful equilibrium you seek.

      1. I’m so sorry that happened to you. That isn’t something that’s often talked about with abuse, the bystanders. How much less abuse would there be in the world if all the bystanders spoke out?

        It sounds like there are Narcissist/Golden Child patterns with your parents and brother. And you are the scapegoat. I vacillated between being the golden child and scapegoat in my family. My mother wanted me to succeed because it reflected glory on her, but she was also vindictive about my accomplishments.

        A helpful book that I read about this is Will I Ever Be Good Enough? by Karyl Mcbride

        It is courageous for you to choose the path of self-love, to choose not to be like them. So many people do not make that choice, but you have.

      2. Thank you for your suggestion, I will definitely look into it. I didnt mean to make this thread about my story btw, I just resonated so much with your story that I wanted to share. Indeed I share the same dynamic with my mother that you have shared above. I am in the process of closing a very long and painful chapter… I am going to seek a lot of therapy when this is over, Im looking into brainspotting to help remove trauma and PTSD. Grateful to bump into you here and for your sharing your wisdom with me.

      3. Rest assured, I want this thread to be about your story. And I am just as thankful to you.

    3. Oh my goodness thank you so much for sharing this. I can relate to so much of it, in fact I have been thinking through some very similar issues about obeying one’s way to a peaceful life, just today. So profound thank you xx

  18. This dark moon has been rough!

    Random aggro? CHECK
    Carbo loading, no energy, binge watching of Dexter? CHECK
    Mulling over all past defeats? CHECK

    Turning to Saturn for comfort, doing tasks, paying bills, cleaning house + getting organized.

    Jesus take the wheel! Lol

  19. While I have good reason to be irritable given my job today, I am both not at all surprised, and entirely surprised, to hear that “there’s a pulse of aggro underneath it all.”

    That said, I am slowly and what feels like not very effectively working through issues and still working on my full house declutter. This weekend was the bathroom closet’s hair appliances and health and beauty crap. Thank housewitchery (and you, MM, for the mp3, which I listened to first thing Saturday morning) for it being possible for a cleaner, emptier, better organized bathroom closet to make the whole house feel different!

  20. Omg haha. Over the weekend my husband and I were walking our dog in the park ranger pulled up to us, got out of his vehicle, and approached us; and I automatically assumed I was about to get in trouble for something pre-Saturn Return Baby Sinclair would do. It was a weird flashback. And he’s just like “be careful with your dog, someone saw a bear around here”. Mars/South Node on my natal mars right now. Also Uranus opposite my sun. Loads of rut busting happening over here!

    1. BTW – I am actually feeling like my Mars in Aquarius is my friend these days. Used to fuck shit up for me all the time. I think I may be on my way to transmuting my Mars square Sun-Pluto into a super power. I feel like I am fully owning my Aquarius vibes, and I absolutely love this side of me. Yay!

  21. 6th house.

    Radical changes to domestic vibe. Super rebellious of tradition/ possibly accelerating change so fast it is irrevocable. Seems to be assisting others agenda & their willingness (or agreement indicate that its meant to happen, this action is supporting me without much resistance).

    It’s hurting though. A lot of extra work in parenting, despite financial resources, and regular contact / meet ups/ friendship – its so detached, civil and futuristic…Nothing has “ended” the relationship is being “expanded”

    Anger is transmuted into logical approaches and ideology. There’s a vision that has replaced a stagnancy…its hard to say if it will promise a lot, a return.

    Maybe I’ll be even more alienated, perceived as eccentric, too forward, a rebel? I feel empathic to my child who is really trying to get what this vortex of the current energy means for for our actual families…

    I still think women seem to bear the brunt of the home chores, the child rearing, the domestic planning, then their vocation (if there is any space) and the lack of emotional consideration for consquent exhaustion and breakdown is telling…

    If Leo is the North node then how does this help? As Leo is is really warm, engaging and generous in spirit…embracing with love and creative possibility. I am not really getting how this can manifest in my 12th. I suppose mars is in shadow (soon RX), and it is a time of introspection….but its feeling heavy and morose (with saturn in my 5th opposite my moon 10th, square my saturn 8th).

    I wish that I could have been lighter and less needing of other’s emotional validation and time for me (Pluto is transiting over my venus/ trine my Pluto/ sextile my mars). So I guess this is possibly an opportunity to review how unawareness in those themes/ aspects of my life (health/ routine/ work/ domestic matters) can be released of such tensions and evolve with more consciousness/ innovativness and inclusiveness/ better self actualisation.

    Yet to do this requires a gentleness, not abruptness. Thank heavens for the current Jupiter Neptune trine…

    1. Leo 12th house. You are the captain of your soul. Ceres in leo. Spiritual abundance.

      Mars in 6th is rummaging around and rearranging your daily routines and practices. The south node is making the past very relevant to this perhaps.

      Feel free to get angry if it will help.

      1. Oh ta, I like the idea of spiritual abundance / creativity. Generosity to self too, lol, my child as mars in Leo on the current north node, but mars now is opposite on the south node so there’s been some anger but been trying to diffuse / ease that with group activities / play. Thanks!

  22. So much yes (and yes to the Virgonator too-your comment made a lot of sense to me). I don’t even know how to explain my weekend – lots of past issues coming up, lots of grief, lots of crying, a huge amount of reframing and understanding, new friendships, strengthened friendships and finally – FINALLY- a bit of brutal honesty about what has happened in my life and how I’ve felt about it and actually TELLING someone it. Completely and utterly new territory for me. All the past, all the present, all mixed together with enough angst to tire anyone out but well worth it to both release and share the f*$ked up lot of it. And friends with the patience of saints helping me work through it all. Certainly glad to be past the worse of it now. Now keen to throw all my old clothes out and anything else hag doesn’t belong!

  23. The early Aqua is my son’s 12th-soon starts a year in Japan. Late Aqua is my daughter’s Moon. The shadow is in my 3rd- square Jupiter in 12. A 1st cousin found me through ancestry testing. We are talking later today. Her dad disappeared in the 1960s and died without anyone knowing where he was. I have articles about his career but he was that glam mysterious uncle. Did he die broke or earn a medal for spying? LOL!

    She and her twin have researched three generations to Ireland. I am the last of my family and my dad’s parents died before I was born- so I am glad to have new found kin.

    Learned that Bridget/Brigid is a favored name which fits in nicely with my house-witching.

    Meantime my space case Leo/Pisces husband lost his wallet-again. An occasion for astro study:

    Pisces-Aqua Moon Mergirl bit her lip- and raised a perfectly groomed eyebrow. Virgo/Gem/Scorp son deployed congenial logic. Haute Leo uni house guest- who is puzzled that professional can be so spazzy murmured, “That is most unfortunate,” as he slurped ramen.

    Virgo/Aqua/Saggo grad said cheerily, “It will turn up!”

    I deployed my Prog Cap Moon Saturn, said little and bit my tongue. Asked Brigid for help!!LOL!!

  24. My Aqua mother came in the other day, apologizing profusely about having my ‘original’ birth certificate and handed it over. My Aqua is 4th house and this mars business has already been quite trippy. It was not the original but my first copy that I ordered when I got my first passport. Uranus was at the degree Mars/SN is now during the month and year stamped on it.

    My mom completely believed she was handing me the original certificate, which in a way made it true for her intentions and mindset. She is 0 Pisces Mercury conjunct 29 Aqua Venus and 26 sun. She conjures up her own belief system, which of course doesn’t always work out. Well, onward I go with my birth handed back to me.

  25. The mars retro zone is all my 11th house. I am hoping it will help pave the way into a new group by clearing out the old !

  26. me and my bestie have ‘broke friends’
    she still holds resentments from the past…not much way forward when someone does that…i have apologised (we’ll set aside whether i needed to or not )…feel like ive had a lot of crap and aggression flung at me this weekend….my aqua is my 11th hse…oh…

    1. Oh that is too tough, I have compassion as you know you will miss them too. Perhaps you can celebrate the times you did share with them. Those moments remain. Wishing you peace & resolution.

      My friends of more than twenty years just disappeared, slowly, as relocated, with a partner, just faded…I couldn’t stop it. I suppose I knew even when I tried to resurrect the friendship it was out of my hands. Her ill health, busy family, great distance away, business demands…no room for much else.

      However I know that somewhere in all that time there are dearly loved moments. That is all.

    2. Oh. That’s sad and confusing. I had the same experience during the April eclipse last year. We haven’t reunited in spite of my many attempts to repair (she had a huge emotional trigger to something innocent and unrelated to real time), and with some healthy perspective I can now see the friendship wasn’t what I thought it was. Nor was she who I thought she was. And I wasn’t my quality self in her company. Hugs to you. Have confidence that it will unfold for the best. xxx

    3. Oh that’s the worst. I hope time will open up the possibility of healing that friendship. But then again, sometimes you have to let people go.

  27. 6° Acqua is 5th house for me. And Mars is in the shadow zone of its retro in my 5th.
    So far no exes – nor I have remotely kept in touch with any of them. I highly doubt that will be the outcome of Mars retro.
    5th house is also self expression and one’s creativity so I guess it’ll have more of a “let’s rethink my self expression plan” or “let’s go back to some old talent / creative stint I have set aside long ago and see if it’s still worth giving it a shot”.

  28. MutatisMutandis

    the SN and Mars are bang on my ascendant right now. I have natal SN in Aqua and am pretty Mars-y as well so I’m doing well with this energy. Lots of lifting and pilates, lots of new initiatives that seem to be shaping up the next year or two (culinary school on the weekends, new role at work). I cut half my hair off yesterday! It was damaged and chemically treated, I’m trying to get the natural color the full length without shearing it all off. I’ve reconnected with a good old friend that I’ve known for over twenty years but hadn’t seen for several years, and it’s been great, like we never really fell out of touch. I’m busy but relaxed about it, feels like I’m doing what I should be doing for the most part.

  29. I thank you for this amazing insight. I started my decluttering and gathering clothing that serve no purpose or have bad memories.

    I’ve been letting go of shame, anger and feelings of guilt i have had towards friendships and unbelievable to me, my friends welcomed me back into their lives with open arms. I tear up at this because this is an amazing thing to me and it all started with my housewitchery.

    I recently started to grow roses from a bouquet I had bought for the apartment and they have started to grow :), I bought a lovely snake plant and madagascan jasmine plant that i consider my lovelies and i thank them for growing and providing me beauty and being air purifiers.

    I also have been having past occurrences pop up in my mind that makes me grind my teeth but i wrote a review hoping that the associates my happen upon it but more importantly it was like a release. I considered myself silly to feel betrayed by people i have never met in my life. But this is a part of letting go of the past, letting go of these feelings that clogged me up, clogged my life.

    This is the start of something beautiful and i’ve been on the lookout for something to help someone. I am waiting for that light bulb or that connection where i feel like i could do someone good with genuine love. But maybe i have to be 100% in love with myself before that can happen.. so one step at a time starting from home is my plan.

  30. I ended up with half a day to myself accidentally so I fired up the housewitchery mp3 and went deep KonMari on my space. I’ve done a full KonMari before (back when I was married), and moved twice since then, so I don’t have too much extraneous stuff, but I am managed to pare down my papers considerably. I realized I had some of my exes’ taxes, and a bunch of my old bank statements and receipts that are not remotely from the present financial era. Also recycled an entire notebook of creative writing. I do want to write again (kept my book of writing prompts – so much joy), but the last time I wrote much was in the grips of postpartum depression and I realized today one of my conditions of writing again is just throwing all that out. So much love for that person, but I don’t need to engage with her ideas. I lived it and I don’t have to relive it. I haven’t reached my box of journals yet (it’s both deep in storage and waiting for the sentimental catehory), but I am wondering at what I might dare let go.

    February this year through the present is the first time in my life I have predictable, sufficient money coming in, and it is nice to both declutter things associated with my previous money vibe and to see how my attitude toward decluttering is so different now that I can reasonably expect to replace broken things, for instance. (Maybe not right away, but if I save up for a few months, then sure). Also literally found $40 extra bucks. Definitely hoping to de-clot a little. 🙂

    And while I only got rid of a few pieces of clothing (because I only own a few pieces of clothing), it always feels so good to be down to just the stuff I feel great in. Also five books, all gifts from my dad, are going.

    I have another delicious day to myself on Tuesday and hope to make a big dent in my miscellaneous category. So invigorating to come into the present, embrace yourself going forward, release the past…

    ALSO I’m cranky as heck at everyone about basically nothing, so this hiding inside is strategic.

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