Fake Psychics And Bad Gurus

Fake psychics are not all bad. Some are just people who mean well but can’t take themselves out of the equation. So they murmur sweet drivel that is more like what they want to hear.

Or say that you need sleep and crystal angel talismans because your dippy boyfriend/yeast infection/global warming is an ascension symptom. It’s hard to be psychic on demand but intentionally fake psychics are frightening. Along with bad gurus, they’re responsible for significant anxiety and misinformation among their (hopefully) ex-clients.

Everything Is An Ascension Symptom To Them

My personal Grudge Flashpoint is pass-agg, controlling New Age guys in muslin pants who sigh a lot in faux empathy. They talk a good game about their stupendous tantric-kundalini rooting skills but upon rejection, they resort swiftly to New Age versions of “you must be frigid.” Or say that your clitoral chakra is blocked or that you need to clear bad karma via their penis. I wish I were joking and that this never happened.

There are variations of this gent, but they all like to use the Occult/psychology, etc. to manipulate people (usually women who are young, naïve, or vulnerable at the time)  into bed. I had one Bad Guru tell me I was fuqing with my karma by not “honoring the connection” between us.

It is as bad as when an abusive church priest tells someone they are risking their immortal soul by not doing what they say. Another did my Tarot and misread the whole thing to say it was about our growing sexual attraction. Vile. “You see, I am the King of Wands,” said the 40-something man to my 19-year-old self. “This means we need to explore this. On all levels.

Fake Psychics Establish Toxic Intimacy Fast

Yes, yes, i know women do this thing too. But they are less likely to be sexual predators and more into psychic vamping i.m.o. You know when you’ve ended up with a fake psychic as she’ll try to establish toxic intimacy. She’ll act like she knows your “nasty secret” or that she can see the souls of unborn babies around you. And, they often use a fairly cursory knowledge of astrology to pontificate about “dark times ahead.”

I get a constant stream of emails from people asking for help. A mall psychic took a quick peek at an ephemeris and pronounced the said person to be destined to be forever poor or fated to be loveless. There is no astrological transit or natal position that would reflect such a fate.

If you’re purporting to represent a deity or a spiritual force – as bad gurus do – it’s already suss. Like who hires them? How did they get to be on such good terms with the Karma Police? But if you then use this bogus affiliation to violate trust and rub your sleazy paws all over someone who is not there in a sexual context, it is (1) illegal and (2) going to attract lousy energy to the perp.

Ignore The Karma Cops

As for the fake psychic people. If they’re just hopeless, fine, it’s buyer beware. But if they’re trying to disempower the client by alluding to dark scenarios or shame in the person’s past, they are toxic.

My favorite psychic was this woman who said literally three extraordinary sentences to me and then said ‘that’s it, that’s all I can pick up.” And, I believe that in most cases, you don’t need a psychic. Cultivating your skills is one of the most rewarding and empowering practices of all.


66 thoughts on “Fake Psychics And Bad Gurus”

  1. ChittyChittyBangBang

    Thank goodness for this article. I think it should be reposted. As a professional and ethical Witch/Healer/Medium here in Los Angeles. I am now more than ever being contacted by women and some men, more than ever, because of their traumatic experiences with a Bad Guru. For some reason they decide I’m the one to help them get their faith back, and want me to help them fix the damage done by said Bad Guru. While it is an epidemic of sorts, I do believe it might be part of the clients lessons on their path to have these encounters. Not that they deserve harm, but that they need to understand boundaries, and not everyone is who they say they are. Is that jaded of me? I don’t know. But it is why I initially got into this work, because of a Bad Guru experience on a Boardwalk at age 14. What do you think Mystic? Why so many more Bad Gurus now than it seems before?

  2. Oh David, of course he is. Didn’t see that at first.
    Yes that is an excersise but i was shown it with the eyes closed so as
    to be looking into the 3rd eye space.
    Tantric/Kundalini Yoga has many unusual facial expressions for various reasons, duh.
    Kali with her tongue stretched out……etc.

      1. Creepiest pic I’ve seen posted to date on this site Myst. It’s always the eyes. and davidl I’ve explained my spazi attack on later post to you.

  3. That man in the photo has very scrary eyes. Maybe i won’t go to India but back
    to my beloved ‘children’ in French Polynesia. My island Home.

  4. Ain’t THAT the truth, David. Have fallen down some holes in the past in my Tantric
    Was invited to ‘The Fountain Group’ an Adders esoteric send light at 10am & 4pm to the
    water fountain in Victoria Square (heart of CBD). A bloke gravitated to me started talking Ascensionism, told me he was a Tantric Master & really made a pitch.
    Wrote them a letter after to ask if this was a ‘New Age pick-up place’.
    Again, an invite for a talk on the OTO. Took my beloved crystal egg to absorb information
    placed on my lap (also had a black russian drink next to chair,it was in a pub on a square with 2
    other pubs all starting with a ‘A’), as soon as AC was mentioned, i quickly stood up to leave as he creeps me.
    My chair went over backwards & crashed as my drink fell over, my crystal went rolling back down the room! All at once.
    CHAOS! My anger just blew i guess….mmm. The most disliked dead man in the world. Bet he knew Hilter, alter ego’s.
    Every bodyworker has to self monitor again & again so as not project stuff or go by intution alone.
    It must have science behind it, meta-science if not mainstream, to have any validity & effect.
    All i know is Pleasure reduces Pain………….any pain…………….at all………..always.
    Didn’t that cute blonde Dr. Rosie….. say G U R U = drop the G & you are you.

  5. Ive always had one rule with so called spiritual gurus..If there is money or sex involved they are basically charlatans.

        1. i think there are ways of negotiating situations without “becoming” them – sometimes you are simply a witness not a cohort or accessory.

          I love the way you spelled that punctuation out davidl – just in case i forgot i was reading a sentence? ;o) I went to that flakey school in the 70s that didn’t teach punctuation so this is an ideal approach for a victim of experimental scholastic theories.

        2. davidl I think you get a big ego boost being one of theonly boys to blog here – non, though I must admit you display perfect partner qualities if not a little temper temper and impatience. Lots of knowledge tho and it shines through that Gem asc, so keep on giving it to us. xx

          1. In what way would I be getting an ego boost ? seriously ? This is the 2nd comment about my ego you know, or is it the 3rd ? It is funny though coming from a leo.. Please explain ?

          2. hehe I’d say just the opposite is true for David. He’s delightful but we do sometimes give him a hard time. That wouldn’t be ego lifting

  6. Gasp. Where do I begin…?

    Since we’re chockful of men in muslin pants, I’ll draw from the other side of the line to those in a dress i.e. my Catholic childhood. As everyone may know, Catholic clergy take a vow of celibacy, it is completely enforced (and IMO, a superb way for the church to control not only peeps but anything they acquire). So it is the oddest thing to see parish priests usually surrounded by a clutch of women, all in the name of piety, tending to his needs.

    Whether its dinner or laundry or whatever, and I suspect at times probably something else. To be told from youth in judgment, by some man, I have no idea from whence his authority came, whether I am good or bad with no real interest in my soul, frankly makes me ill.

    Whatever it is, its abuse of an authority that should be taken with humility as a privilege to guide. No one should laud themselves simply an expert in matters of the soul, perhaps a fellow traveler who has traveled certain points a few more times than one has but certainly not as someone who knows about it ALL much better than you do. Is my moon in Aqua showing yet? hehe

    But my point is that we are all weak in some areas and strong in others. Flow is inhibited by anyone who would set themselves up as having any control over what is ultimately an individual journey.

    And on another note bowing to Cheshire Caps point about men in wicca, I recently read an article about the value of women in the justice system. That female judges tend to review the implications of their judgments as a whole vs male judges who tend to uphold the crispness of the law regardless.

    I think this is a fine demonstration of what the female heart brings, for where do crimes spring from but from broken souls? Of course, this isn’t to say there aren’t any amazing and fair male judges but just a contrast between how nature can still show her face in what is considered an androgynous arena i.e. the law.

    But perhaps this is why justice is portrayed as a blindfolded woman…though popularly believed that this is to mean that it applies to all in fairness, perhaps it also implies that it is not always one’s eyes one needs to see the truth, but the heart.

    1. Druidic judges or brehons were both male and female equally respected. One of the brehon laws that makes me smile is that a man was fined for not bedding his wife when she requested but not vice versa.

  7. My heart goes out to all the weak and innocent who have suffered as a result of trusting in these vile predators.
    We yearn for that spiritual and human connection and in that yearning we at times overlook the obvious.
    I give thanks daily for being blessed with an amazing “bullshit detector” so have never been caught up in any of this misfortune.
    I also mostly keep it to myself unless asked as I’ve been accused of being “distrusting” – and then the truth comes out and I think why can’t others see this too ? perhaps it’s the kataka sun/ pisces moon.

  8. I am hunting for a good Wicca organisation in the inner suburbs of Melb. Can’t seem to find one. I know they are here as I see there ceremonial sites along Merri Creek on my walks. I wanna be a part of it. But no creepy Crowley-ites purr-leese~!

  9. When I was in my early 20’s a group of friends & I used to go to a psychic cafe in Gosford. I had a tarot reading with this guy, who gave me his number & made out he had ‘further information’ for me. Of course, I called and he strung me along & wanted to meet me for a drink etc and I clued in to what he was doing. I was so appalled as he seemed like such a nice genuine guy, it was all such a facade, and I was horrified that he might actually succeed in doing this with young, naive, impressionable girls. That was my first & unfortunately not the last experience. The worst was this guy my auntie had referred me to for a tarot/clairvoyant reading. He came to my house & we started the reading After a while he stated telling me how much his wife would love me, insisted I had to come to a agan gathering (he was head of a well known pagan network) and told me I had abilities etc and I needed a good teacher & he knew just the person but it would be like sending a lamb to the slaughter as this guy would just gobble me up. Ugh. He made it sound like it was meant to be that we encountered each other – he had the connections I needed for my spiritual path and “oh by the way I have an open marriage”. His wife had 2 girlfriends & he had 3 and then he gave me his home number & invited me to come for dinner so we could all meet etc etc. I played dumb & just let him think I fell for it. As soon as he left I had to go thru & ‘undo’ everything he had done in the house. Was so revolting. I just couldn’t believe anyone could abuse the position of trust so innocently given. I was so angry at myself for having ‘opened’ myself up to this guy, and to have him abuse that was horrid. In any case, I learnt my lesson.

    Ugh. Vile creature. Was such a repugnant Crowleyite.

    1. I’ve always had extreme reservations about any men becoming involved in wicca LL. The whole male perception is foreign to the gentleness and connectedness of all living things and I’ve found that those involved seem to want to introduce rules and regulation (their own) and set up hierarchies to strut their stuff, seemingly ignoring and suppressing the feminine powers often surrounding them. I know of two such in SE qld and have watched and smiled as their tiny empires crumbled. They just don’t get it.

      1. and don’t they always love all the ceremonial aspects and get all worked up about the importance of “doing the work” skyclad .. meh

        1. David Buckland is quoted as saying ” it must be awfully weak power or magic if it’s hampered by a few layers of clothing”

      2. This doesn’t sit well with me – wicca is about embracing the whole not separatism from the masculine or feminine. Peeps who misuse power can be found in all modalities.

        Without the sun we would not see the moon.

      3. “The whole male perception is foreign to the gentleness and connectedness of all living things…”

        I am sorry. But if anyone ever finds this post at least there is a reply saying ‘what a load of fuqing bollocks’.

  10. Pegs, I try to use your principal even with friends/visitors to my house not only for them but it also makes me feel great to wave them off with them laughing and smiling all stress momentarily gone.

  11. My Tantric Yoga teacher put my back into severe spasm from overworking a position (not sexual),
    never went back.
    I new age chiro/osteo did the same (never took a case history) so badly was out for the count 6 weeks!
    Went to a remedial masseuse who started talking tarot. Told her that was NOT what i came for.
    Other Chiro told me never ever to wear heels, then saw her out partying in spikes.
    Other chiro told me i had nematodes (wormy things) & put a magnetic pad over my tummy.
    Never went back…………the list from 15 years ago is endless, too many dodgies to list.
    Too often went out the same door i went in with knowledge of what not to do or say in my learning years.
    Did they think i was suffering from ‘heavy wallet syndrome’? Methinks.
    Fave quote from me in those days “Ma look what they have done to my song’!
    Twenty years of sifting though it all & now i know ‘the person has to feel better leaving than when they came in’ or you have not been in the presence of a healer.
    So sad to hear of all the misuse & abuse in these areas. Not sure why we look outside our SELVES for
    ‘healing’ when there is nothing ‘wrong’ with us in the first place.

    1. here here pegasus .. it’s all in the mind, or the culture we live in focusing on disease like mentality coercing us to believe there’s stuff wrong when there ain’t. God/dess resides within methinks.

  12. Aaahhh Mystic, time for work again, i go with a smile and a giggle. If ever you do need relief from PMT Defcon 5 just re read your own words, they are bound to put a smile on your face or just giggle.

  13. 20 years old, vulnerable, almightily and clinically depressed and walking through Pitt Street Mall at lunch time, a man walked up to me and told me that I had an incredible white light around my head. He then told me he was an American Indian (looked and sounded like one) and because of my white light I should come to his house and we should talk. On the way to his house in Redfern he told me that his wife and child had died recently in a car accident in France and he was on a spiritual journey around the world to try to find some meaning in life. Of course i thought something amazing was happening, some divine connection that was going to lift me out of my horrible now and into some incredible future, Until he suggested that he massage me (ladies, how many blokes have tried this subtle move on you??). I had very little sense at that age, but what sense I did have instructed me to tell him that i had to meet my father for lunch now thanks very much for the invitation.

    throughout my far-too-long experience of clinical depression, I found that, energetically, like often attracts like. Too many weird experiences to mention, but this was one of the creepiest. Now I’m so good, and the weirdies leave me alone yay!

  14. OMG The world is littered with these guys!!!

    I had such a problem when I was growing up in Australia with this bollucks

    Often found at places like confest, where sexually preditorial behaviour is constantly excused because they are self proclaimed gurus and all women not conforming to this are not intune with her inner goddess
    (you know the nice hot one that shags everyone one they made up in their head)

    I can guarantee I can stand in a room for 5 min on my own at certain events when one of these guys will start his rant, ask me a serious of see thorugh questions about my childhood in an attempt to use against me later and tell me all about his sexual liberation values and his love of women. When rejection occurs its my lack of sexual evolvement is to blame and I hold back on honouring the connection due to my father issues

    twisted and tragic guys!

    -unimpressed scorpio

  15. chuckle….I had a cheesecloth wearing jesus clone look into my eyes at a dinner party and ooze at me that I had a beautiful aura….I leaned closer, looked into his eyes and oozed back that it wasn’t an aura, it was a forcefield.

      1. thanks so sweet scorpy r, I’ve missed you too. It’s been hectic but fantastic with only a few hick-ups and I’ve had gremlins in my computer. My intro to new taureans world was to arrive at his house after a 6 1/2 hour drive to discover that a possum had gone to possum paradise leaving it’s decomposing body in the ceiling. It wasn’t the welcome my poor darling had planned.

  16. Uber, I feel sick to the core – just know that could well be occuring and you confirmed it. Please do what you can and spread the word. I agree there are many decent healers. I have exact problem with trusting healers and am using traditional (sat conj asc in pisces) when I could probably speed up healing with hands on plus psychotherapy, but don’t totally trust alternate medical world.

    However, must say I am having great results with Irish psychotherapist (i.e. psychiatrist – beautiful persoh) , but know I have bodily pain that needs release too. BUT how long did it take for me to find her. Need to start younger! Good to know you are on to it and blessings for being you. xx

  17. Mind you the bad guru above would be kinda cute sans the beard and the rasta dreads. Cool vacant Neptunian eyes. Nice nose. I bet he’s a Leo. Has anybody noticed that Leos tend to have flat/aquiline noses??

    I’m so going to suck at this celibacy thing…

  18. Absolutely with Mystic and Saggi. My first experience at the tender age of 15 was mainly to do with wanting to learn meditation in an eastern philosophy based organisation. It was all good, until “they” noticed I was becoming a regular and then the inculcation began …. oh you must be vegetarian (that I didn’t mind so much) … but the “now to experience true connection to the soul and enlightenment you must be celibate” made me run so fast I left skid marks in the carpet. I hadn’t even had sex yet for fark sakes!

    Since then I’ve always cast a weary/wary eye on so called initiates. I grew up in an area where people left for India in droves to cast off their bondage of self, only to come back with weird names, bald heads and saffron clothes and then set up poxy pseudo businesses ripping people off doing bullshit “rebirthing” and the likes. I’ve gone to all kinds channelers, seers, whatnots and deliberately told them either nothing, or a blatant lie to see what kind of rubbish would present itself … and also just in case someone actually caught me out! None of them did.

    The best experiences I’ve had were with an old skool astrologer when I was 16 who did my chart from hand and told me things it was impossible for her to know of at the time. Particularly regarding my career. The second was a psychic who used tarot, who channeled a dead person who I didn’t know had died at the time and had a message for me that basically changed my life. Mystic was pretty spot on without being deductive or overly determinative for my 07-08 transits too. Plus she’s funny and completely non wanky.

    My Aunty who actually started life off as my Uncle (yeaaaaaaaah I know weird long story) is actually a psychic. She appalls me! Being a Scorpio she just reads people and tells them what they want to hear. YUCK. We had so many arguments regarding the ethics of this.

    I’ve read the tarot since I was 12 but after accidently outing two gay people, and predicting more relationships than I care to think about stopped it. Now to me it’s just a snapshot … a photograph of present circumstance.

    There is something bigger than us, but we shall never truly understand so my feeling is that it’s best to just be kind, generous, honest and open hearted in our life here and now.

    The biggest ego wank of all is the spiritual one. Beware.

  19. u know it’s weird two of mine have been women – there was that tantric sex guy but I was outta there as soon as I was satisfied – can you be a bad disciple?

    I had an “aura reader” detail a desperate and frightening series of past lives most of which involved me being impaled – on a ghengis khan style mongolian sword, there was some kind of similar forced to have sex with the indians story and another one at knife point and then she went on to detail an experience from my present day childhood and suggested my father had molested me. THAT was the weirdest part – my father had never been around – ever – and I had no memory of this situation and I’m certain I would have – the list of reasons to steer clear of the man is long but that is not one of the things on it. She then went on to tell me I had to go to some place where I could be healed and talk to some guy who would do this for me. This is the flashing red light tho – she then went on to detail her own present life violations and how this guy she was recommending helped her – and I suspect they were lovers. It was creepy and sicko.

    The next was a shadow yoga woman – what a psycho. So I’m sitting talking to her and suddenly she looks startled and points at my abdomen and tells me I have to see a doctor. I go to this woman to learn yoga not to be medically diagnosed so this was weird and out of context. She gets more and more aggravated and I tell her I am happy with my current medical practitioners, am healthy and it really isn’t any of her business whatever she is seeing. She then tells me I have cancer – it was hideous and entirely inappropriate. She wouldn’t shut the fuq up so I ran out of there and was so hyperventilating and hysterical and upset that Aqua Cap had a moment of total alpha male like I have never seen before – it was insanely virile – and hoofed it in there and apparently yelled foul things at her – she was a vile woman with a huge gash of a scar across her abdomen. She haunted me for ages after that. I even went to my doctor and told him I wanted to have a test and he said he’d do it but did I really want to give this woman power by following through so i said no.

    Both of them were projecting their own hideous sad embittered lives onto the people who entered their orbit in a professional context. Bitches.

    1. o and yes if I had to guess their sign they were what I always think is classic pass aggressive taurus. Not that taureans are all pass agg just that when they are they do it in style.

        1. mmm yes important to try not to generalise lest ye offend – if it’s any consolation my sign is apparently most likely to be fickle or deeply flawed in love or something or maybe it’s just slutty and unreliable I can’t remember now

          1. But I can do it in real style – more to do with mars methinks! Having sun at just 1 degree I’m not always keen to assume the toro stereotype. Still, vile is as vile does, regardless of sign.

  20. “I am not saying i am the greatest astrologer in the world”

    OK then I will “You are the greatest astologer in the world” by my humble reckoning. The breadth and range of your knowledge, and your ability to home in on pertinent details is simply awesome. If others had a tenth of your talent they would be merely very good.

    1. I second that Bloss, and I’ve been around astrology for some time – started 30 years ago.
      My God, I’m ancient, except now that doesn’t scare me like it did at 30. I still think of myself as 33. You know when you hear news reports and they mention ages – always shocked when it’s my age – blah – I’ll admit 44 – just feel 33. Curiously I was 33 when I gave birth to my first child, a daughter. Vanity will make me say that peeps always think I’m younger, but I think its my conjunction of planets in cancer/4th/5th house inc venus/north node/mars/moon/ and as I discovered today Bacchanus – god of wine and fun in 4th.
      Truly Mystic, have never felt such a truth/connection/ less bullshit than with you. And many “prof astologists” have turned me off; thus leaving me to my own devices, which has proven useful. l can cut the BS – esp with Sat conj asc trine those 4th/5th house benifics. Blessings to us all that you are who you are. xx

    2. Divine M, it is so true! Wots actually lovely is your marriage of the esoteric and the practical, of truth and beauty with nuts and bolts. And SANS the horrendous moralistic guilting that many astros seem to indulge in these days!

      I once had one tell me that my love life hinged on me dating as many peeps as possible. You think? A baseball coach could’ve told me that, no? Law of Averages et al.

      And finally, you are inspirational darling. Truly truly ever.

    3. MM knows her astro but I was unaware of it being a competitive sport. Can we at least have something where there is no such thing as the best?

  21. OHMYGOD.

    i have just managed to extract myself from a two tin cans and a piece of string “connection” that was a taurean man who thought we had soul history that needed fixin. it wasn’t ominous, more kind of fun but lots of flim flam shilly shally. ultimately hes waiting for his soul mate…. “karma tits” as mystic called her once very fetchingly, hahahaha, and KT can have him. hes back in the online place he found me in, constantly, i think he has a digital sleeping bag and just opens his eyes every hour on the hour to see who’s arrived. really funny. he comes from the next village down the road from susan boyle. fascinating.

  22. oh mystic i know EXACTLY the men you speak of. they make my skin crawl and i have encountere a fair few of them around so called spiritual pursuits. my conclusion i finally came to was that ego is ego no matter what you dress it up as, and anyone using anything to manipulate others is not spiritual no matter what they be preaching. to this day any man with a pony tail gives me the creeps.

    that said, my yuckiest bad guru experience was with a woman, and shouldve trusted my gut instincts to get away from her as soon as i met her, but stuck around (paid my money…weep, weep) to have someone i would never even want to emulate or admire tell me all these ‘truthful’ things about me that were so incredibly geared towards making me feel vulnerable to her. ugh icky. it actually really puts me off any thing new agey etc anymore, even though my own personal beliefs are really quite into it. but i just find 75% of ‘teachers’ etc have a pretty yucky feeling about them, and prey on people going through hard times or whatevs.

    it means when i find an amazing practitioner or healer i stick with them.

    1. Oh boy..
      I guess we all get one of these ” types ” in our lifetime. They have the appearance of being saintly, grounded, centered, fun and other worldly. They can travel to India, wear their garb, take classes from well known guru’s but ultimately they are soulless. Talk to their ex’s..we all know the truth and the dirt..Signed..Been there, done that and never again!

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