While there are others, of course, these ladies are are the core Real Housewives of Hades – can anyone detect their Sun or Moon signs?
Optima – ‘Reincarnating and Ready To Roll’
Out of all the wives, Optima was the most likely to rematerialize. A one-time manager of Eighties cover bands, she’d emerged from a spectacularly vile marriage break-up to become the most successful real estate agent in Chronopolis. Few knew that she’d secretly studied pre-Confucian Taoist Feng Shui and Babylonian Astral Magic during the Nineties grunge era.
Tiffany – ‘Hotter Than Hell And Just as Mad‘
In her most recent life, Tiffany had wanted to be a private detective since she was a child. But she grew into a woman of such extraordinary beauty it blinded others to her talent or ambition. She became the (first) trophy wife to a cosmetic surgeon: A former intelligence operative and an avid fan of cocaine, he saw the extension of Tiffany’s youthful looks as his career pinnacle.
Dolores – ‘Dead or Undead, I’ll Outshine You‘
The “oldest” of the Real Housewives of Hades, Dolores was born into the Ghost Years of World War I. A secretary-school-dropout, she was booted off the beauty queen circuit for ‘homosexual tendencies’ and became a honky-tonk dancer. At one time the mistress of both a mob gangster and a would-be senator, she really only liked cosmetics, cats and women.
Barbara – ‘My Karma = Your Drama‘
Before the New Age, social media influencers or the Secret, there was Barbara, hip-witch and mini-media-empire mogul. An early adopter of Ayahuasca and author of a best-selling Astral Travel guide, she ran afoul of some shadowy entities she’d met while trying to implement a supernatural tax minimization strategy.
Serena – ‘Exquisite Taste Is Forever‘
Previously the head of mid-20th Century decor at a high-end auction house, Serena does not identify as disincarnate. She does, however, relish her new powers of invisibility and being able to glide through solid barriers. While her frequent forays into the homes of former clients are often blamed on poltergeist activity, she prefers the term ‘phantom.’