Who Are The Real Housewives Of Hades?

Who are the Real Housewives of Hades? Well excitingly, more information has come to light.  This will only make sense if you have read the previous post that describes their emergence.

While there are others, of course, these ladies are are the core Real Housewives of Hades – can anyone detect their Sun or Moon signs?

Optima – ‘Reincarnating and Ready To Roll’

Out of all the wives, Optima was the most likely to rematerialize. A one-time manager of Eighties cover bands, she’d emerged from a spectacularly vile marriage break-up to become the most successful real estate agent in Chronopolis. Few knew that she’d secretly studied pre-Confucian Taoist Feng Shui and Babylonian Astral Magic during the Nineties grunge era.

Tiffany – ‘Hotter Than Hell And Just as Mad

In her most recent life, Tiffany had wanted to be a private detective since she was a child. But she grew into a woman of such extraordinary beauty it blinded others to her talent or ambition. She became the (first) trophy wife to a cosmetic surgeon: A former intelligence operative and an avid fan of cocaine, he saw the extension of Tiffany’s youthful looks as his career pinnacle.

Dolores – ‘Dead or Undead, I’ll Outshine You

The “oldest” of the Real Housewives of Hades, Dolores was born into the Ghost Years of World War I. A secretary-school-dropout, she was booted off the beauty queen circuit for ‘homosexual tendencies’ and became a honky-tonk dancer. At one time the mistress of both a mob gangster and a would-be senator, she really only liked cosmetics, cats and women.

Barbara – ‘My Karma = Your Drama

Before the New Age, social media influencers or The Secret, there was Barbara, hip-witch and mini-media-empire mogul. An early adopter of Ayahuasca and author of a best-selling Astral Travel guide, she ran afoul of some shadowy entities she’d met while trying to implement a supernatural tax minimization strategy.

Serena – ‘Exquisite Taste Is Forever

Previously the head of mid-20th Century decor at a high-end auction house, Serena does not identify as disincarnate. She does, however, relish her new powers of invisibility and being able to glide through solid barriers. While her frequent forays into the homes of former clients are often blamed on poltergeist activity, she prefers the term ‘phantom.’

12 thoughts on “Who Are The Real Housewives Of Hades?”

    1. Sun-Venus in Leo Rising with Saturn in the 3rd house and Mars seething in Scorpio, the fourth. It was at his immaculately manicured – and lifted – hands that Tiffany passed. Although he blamed the anathesist and the chrysantheum tablets she was taking, of course. She hadn’t even wanted the procedure and it took her weeks to work out what happened – think 6th Sense but instead of lurking around cafes and underground railway stations in a trenchcoat like Bruce Willis the character is screeching ‘don’t you know who I am?’ at maitre’ds and trying to read books about mid-life invisiblity at chi-chi book stores.

      Nobody can see her of course….except for one person: a Thai massage therapist with (he doesn’t know about this yet) Scoloti shamanic ancestry. He falls in love with her, like so many before him, yet Numen’s quest to discover some of the most tightly held esoteric secrets in the galaxy will reveal his real destiny.

  1. HAhahahahahah.

    Dolores Aqua Sun
    Serena cap moon (that invisibility trick is a left over gift for any cap moons from their time with pluto)

  2. Optima
    ♈ Sun
    ♒ Moon

    ♊ Sun
    ♏ Moon

    ♌ Leo
    ♑ Moon

    ♊ Sun
    ♐ Moon

    ♉ Sun
    ♓ Moon

    So simple and yet not so… couldn’t decide whether to go with the title or the text and just threw a guess which..in true mutable style I will not lock in 😄

  3. Oooooooo I love this! These are my very quick guesses at first glance 🧐🤔
    Optima = Double Gemini
    Dolores = Capricorn Sun maybe?? but she definitely is Venus square Uranus with under 1 deg lol
    Barbara = Leo sun + Pisces moon
    Tiffany = Libra rising + moon
    Serena = Sagg sun & Aqua moon

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *