Virgo Dating Efficiency

I recently enjoyed a brilliant example of Virgo Dating Efficiency.  On my retreat in September, I met this woman – super fit, competency-oozing, strawberry blonde – and she was saying how she met her husband.  She had been single for 11 years, pouring energy into perfecting her health (she works in that industry) and getting “serious” about her finances.  She did not want to be distracted and nor was she “good at casual sex or relationships.”

One day, however, she decided it was time to pair-bond. She created an online dating profile with a prominent request that interested parties not message her unless they were interested in potentially meeting at some point.  Previous forays had made her aware that heaps of peeps just like messaging back and forth to the point that it becomes a digital limbo. She also said that she wanted a fantastic, committed relationship.

Then she scheduled three or even four dates/meetings for every Sunday, doing hair/make-up in the morning and meeting one man after another. Why? So that she did not “clutter up” her schedule.  She warned them within five minutes of meeting that her usual attire was work-out wear and this look was atypical of her.  If she did not feel the person was the one, she thanked them for their time and wished them luck on their quest for love.

On the 10th Sunday, she met the man she was to marry and asked if they could meet again. When he said yes, she deleted her dating profile. They have been together ever since.

Are you a Virgo?” asked my Virgo friend of the strawberry blonde.  “Yes,” she grinned proudly “and I spread-sheeted all the dates.”  It was an example of Virgo Vision at its best.

Impressive, non?

Image: John Van Hamersveld

125 thoughts on “Virgo Dating Efficiency”

  1. I agree with everyone else that the spreadsheeting Virgo dater sounds a bit sociopathic. That said, I have mars in Virgo so I find good manners and overall ‘neat’ appearances big pluses. I’ve been on dates where the men speak arrogantly to the wait staff… makes my lady parts dry up and clamp down to the size of a pore… Almost as bad are grammar & punctuation issues. But the WORST is BO. Very bad manners to go around smelling rotten. 🙁

  2. Crap.. Virgo sun here and I’m just starting to get real with my finances and health.

    Finances: been taking every penny and throwing it into the stock market. I know.. it might be a bad idea but for my need for restructuring my finances I feel like I am doing the right step.

    Health: toggling between a good workout 3 x week and meeting with a nutritionist on Friday. It’s a start.

    Being a virgo is painful. I need perfection.

    So, with the last piece, finding my man, I say within the next 2 years. I need to also work in my internal Virgo shite…

    I like what I have learned since 2009.


  3. I like this story because she has taken responsibility and control of her emotional state and seeded, grown and culitivated her destiny with confidence.

    Really, I think if you believe you will meet your love on eHarmony, then you might. If you believe you won’t, you won’t.

    We are totally co-manifesting our existence in the here and now.
    Every thought is planting an etheric seed that will come to fruition in material world terms at some point.

  4. You know though. The guy she ended up with would have to be a cancer (security pls) or an earth sign to feel even ok about being “vetted” like that. Or a Scorpio who would have their own parallel “dark” assessment system.

    1. Cancer … security? – what kind of security is that which comes from having being chosen by ticking a few boxes and passing a few tests. This is far too clinical and linear for a Cancer. They have to feel that they are completely and utterly lurved in mind, body and soul – and then some – not just fitting in with somebody else’s agenda. That in itself would be a seed of insecurity that would just grow and grow and swallow up the whole relationship. They are a Cardinal sign – the other has to fit in with their agenda – even if they’re not even sure what it is.
      Well anyways, i speak as a Cancer female. Wouldn’t the male of the species feel the same about this?

      1. hmm, yes i definitely did not consider the Emo Totale that katakans occupying 100% of the emotional spectrum require. I think i am a bit negatively-hypersensitised to the security-control-safety elements of the more nervy 4th-house-ians. soz crabs. you’re really quite delicious under that shell.

        the agenda thing, while you mention it: on dating sites here and there I’d see men advertising things like “got the career, have the house, happy life, now just looking for a partner to complete the picture” and I used to think, “jeez dude, I hope she’s happy to wedge herself and her entire presumably full life into that little box that you want to neatly tick off and tie with a bow. “

        1. the ground around my Dating Arena is littered with the corpses of would-be suitors, dincha know
          love from Gladiator Venus x

          1. oh wow! (sorry, this is a pisces-mercurial tangent) I just googled “gladiator venus” out of curiosity, and got (1) a pair of white studded gladiator style 4″ wedge heels,and (2) the spelling suggestion offered me “Verus” – a 1st century gladiator … Rather than post the wiki link I’m going to paste the text – sorry if tldr !

            “His combat with Priscus was the highlight of the opening day of the games conducted by Titus to inaugurate the Flavian Amphitheatre (later the Colosseum) in AD 80, and was recorded in a laudatory poem by Martial — the only detailed description of a gladiatorial fight that has survived to the present day. Both gladiators were declared victors of the combat, and were awarded their freedom by the Emperor in a unique outcome.

            Martial, Liber de Spectaculis, XXIX:
            As Priscus and Verus each lengthened the contest,
            And for a long time the battle was equal on each side,
            Repeatedly loud shouts petitioned for the men to be released;
            But Titus followed his own law; —
            It was the law to fight without shield until a finger was raised: —
            He did what was allowed, often gave dishes and gifts.
            But an end was found to the equal division:
            Equals to fight, equals to yield.
            Titus sent wooden swords to both and palms to both:
            Thus skillful courage received its prize.
            This took place under no prince except you, Caesar:
            When two fought, both were the victor.

        2. Pi MM once described Katakas as Emotional robbers. Too true. They can suck the life out of you like no other- yes I am a bitter and twisted victim pf a recent kataka emotional robbery. Only myself to blame. Been shutting down slowly and putting up psychic fences. yet to concrete myself in but may have to to fight the good fight. lLooked up my mars tranist after your comment above. Mars in virgo in 8th. yep its a triple threat.

      2. I’m running my mouth off a lot here lately. Also finding in real life I am being blunt to the point of rude, in what is normally more mercury-ish funny one liners but it is just not coming out the right way. Not meaning to be an ass, it’s just a kind of impatience with existence right now. hmm. will look within. x

        1. me too Blunt as lately. My BS meter is in hyperdrive and I do not tolerate any. Making new enemies meh! Taking no prisoners . Rude as even to my new boss. Care factor ? zero minus infinity.
          What astro is that?

          1. oh thank fuq i thought it was only me, lol
            it feels kind of mars ish. the almost aggressive [defensive?] care factor zero.
            maybe it was mars in cahoots with pluto,
            mercury though. since we’re talking words. square pluto just now.
            making new enemies haha
            “fuq it”says Bad Pi *not even trying*

        2. Ha-ha! – don’t worry, Pi hon. I’m completely combative at the moment too – just had to defend the tribe – even though you could be completely right about this dude being Kataka. In fact, after i posted i thought – Fuq! i betcha he’s a crab.

          What is Uranus doing in your chart?

          1. One week later here I am, replying into the dusty abandoned-office-floor that is an old comments stream… 7days??? Might as well be last millennium… Anyway where was I. Uranus is in the middle of my 10th house now. Pinballing off things in the years past / & yet to come. Xxx

  5. Oh man! That’s crazy! Kudos to her for finding something that worked with her rhythms like that.
    I could not cope with that tactic.. My Mars in Gemini/Mercury + Venus in Saggo does NOT do routine or schedules. I like the whole ‘you never know what you may find/what’s waiting around the corner/go where the wind takes you’ sort of vibe.

  6. Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot

    Ha ha! I love it! Awesome.

    As a Virgo with Pisces rising (Neptune ruled) I prefer to take a more mystical approach to such things.

  7. I pulled ;”You need to sit down and have a good chat with a Virgo ” – or words to that effect, from The Oracle on Tuesday, mins before my focused Virgo friend turned up brimming with a new business idea for us in the future, she was focused, and built a business model in front of me. She was in her element, The Piscean (husband) with the Virgo moon was standing in the doorway in awe of the genius of it all.

    Being ruled by Mercury with connections to the Earth, seems to stream a direct grounded connection from earth to mind/mouth.

    Virgo plants teacher is the first teacher who can fit in 15 plants/tree in a 2 hour class ,with clean clear precise info transmitted and a walk around the college to see them in the flesh (as opposed to cut samples in bottles) . Previous teachers over the past 2 years struggle with getting through 8-10 a class. Favourite class. 3 (el Toro, La Scorpio and moi – Ramzilla) of us going back to do next year just so we get him again.

    I have no Virgo, and after dating a string of dead shits, i started making a list…Things like – be able to change a washer on a leaking tap. Works outside with their hands – creatively. Kind. Someone i can learn from who is not spiritually stagnant. Fix broken down things – eg washing machine / car. Didn’t date for 4 years, then met him. I spoke to my passed Leo Grandfather about it ” Dont send me anyone who doesnt fit this Pop, I’ve a back up solo plan that involves a Truimph motorcycle , travelling an a long grey plait i can sit on in old age, full of tales”….

    Sorting the wheat from the chaff.

    Mind, he had a list too, ”No Aries, and No Red Heads !!” … Lucked out on Both !!!

    Gotta believe.

    1. Great story. ” No Aries, no redheads” – that’s the kind of challenge the fates just can’t resist. Oh Rlly? -Take that, puny human.

      I have a real thing for people who are clear, efficient communicators. Actually the best communicator in the public domain that I know of is another ram – the former Greek finance minister Varoufakis. Speaks in complete, grammatical sentences, ignores the usual bait and switch and personality BS from journos to stick to the realm of ideas. If the intellect as opposed to the heart can have a crush, he’s mine.

      1. I’m going to google him now !
        Syrynx, where to you think this pleasure comes from hearing someone speak, in our charts ? eg, That Virgo teacher has that class divided .. Some think he’s a smart arse know it all .. Thing is he does know it all, and being direct is not being an arsehole in a teaching capacity…(according to half of us!) …
        Would it be our Mercury placement ? Where is yours ? Or is it a more air in a chart, like swords in Trot, cutting through the shit to get to the point ? I have a lot of Gem, with Merc in Aries … Someone who can speak with no ”ahhs, ummms,” and not backtrack, and is, like the(in the boy and bear song) ”Like an arrow in a bow” with their speech.. it’s an ear / brain / mindgasm it’s even cleansing afterwards !

        1. I was thinking about just that question last night, Cosmic, upthread there was another discussion of this, Circe Baby with Mars in Libra/3rd house.

          I have no air, other than my MC, but mercury is one of my chart final dispositors (with the moon), merc is in virgo, and Saturn, the ruler of my ascendant, is in the third. I have lots of aspects to Mercury so I feel I’m pretty mercurial.

          Actually Yanis Varoufakis is extremely self-assured too, which some might think is arrogance, but I have the same reaction as you, someone who is truly accomplished and an authority in their field has earned that self assurance and the right to cut through all of the flim flam others throw up to hide their incompetence.

      2. Me too. The sound of someone’s voice and their turn of phrase can be bewitching and is a deal-breaker for me.
        I have Merc trine Neptune plus a Gem NN. The man whose voice I fell in love with before we had even declared our love, was a Gem rising exact on my NN., his Cap Merc exact on my Eros-Juno conj in Cap. He used to say he would like a recording of my voice reading the train station stops 😉

        1. There was a brilliant little sequence in the comedy Black Books (do you know it?) where the character Fran has orgasms listening to the weather report read by comedian Peter Serafinowicz doing his Russell Crowe super-deep-voice impression. I have a total crush on a particular baristas voice, and he is, yes you guessed it, a Gemini. Beautiful, deep resonant voice and when he laughs it booms. I don’t think I’ve actually managed to concentrate on the content yet though, very superficial of me. He also has Venus in Cancer and simply cannot stop himself looking at the boobage, oh dear, and has eros on my ascendant. *fans self*. Totes unavailable though, which I’m kinda grateful for actually.

    2. I love that Fleecy!

      I don’t do lists, I naturally gravitate towards the life of the party, too many damn Gemini planets in my 3rd house… lol

  8. hey- I put my wardrobe on a spreadsheet…LOL

    Wow, I AM kind of amazed by this, but at the same time, I am shaking my head. Its incredibly unromantic. Strange enough I am virgo rising, with my jupiter and saturn there as well…You will never see efficiancy in my dating life. Its all sloppy, adventurous, etc.

    Im fully convinced I may be single forever, and this OK. I used to have a love life that was the envy of all my friends. Really crazy, passionate affairs. But that was pre-zap and now its here’s my profile and dick pick…I miss the days where love and romance were adventurous, risky and full of mystery…never knowing who you were going to meet and how it would turn out. Now, its weeding through boring profiles. Oh well, at least I have those days to fondly remember.

    This story puts the final nail in my romantic coffin.

    1. Here’s how to handle the unsolicited dick pic, ladies: Simply respond to his txt w/ a picture of a very large, very sharp kitchen knife. Done.

      LMAO, I guarantee he’ll never bother you again!! And if you’re REALLY lucky, this may even prompt him to re-evaluate his approach going forward, so perhaps it’s possible you might also be performing a vital public service for the rest of The Sisterhood in the process.

      Yes, I truly am *that* wicked – Venus/Pluto, Venus/Lilith, and Juno/Pluto at your service 😉 The last thing you ever want to do with me is try and force a level of intimacy I’m not comfortable with – my 8th H Mars will come out swingin’! Ugh, talk about ocular assault!

      1. LOL, as an mercury in aries, I usually just fling some sharp tongued response, but Im digging this option!

        Last time this happened, a friend and I were waiting for our lunch. Low and behold some random guy at the next table starts talking to us and “here is a shot of my dick….”

        The only thing I could say was “Honey, please- I didn’t even want to know your name!” yeah, that and where’s my quinoa?

        1. First off, *Hi-five* for that return serve! I’m a Mars/Mercury girl myself and am quite fond of the blistering retort when it serves my purposes – this would be one of those instances!

          What I’d really like to know, though, is why has the dick pic become the new business card of sorts?

          Seriously – it’s the digital equivalent of walking up to somebody and flashing them.

          We put people in jail for that, BTW, so I’m not exactly sure why/how this has become a “socially acceptable” phenomenon. But it must be to a degree for this to become so common a problem for women to deal with. I’m not puritanical and have no issues with nudity or sexuality – it’s more about the idea of someone trying to force a level of intimacy into the equation that the other party might not want.

          1. I agree! When did this become ok? Thankfully I’ve never received one. I don’t exactly ooze ‘sure send me a dick pic and all will be well’ lolol
            Is it a generational thing? All the men I dated in my short-lived online dating career were my own age.

            1. It’s NOT OK! I think we can agree the unwanted dick pic is even worse than the unwanted ‘stalky’ behaviour e.g. calling after you have politely turned down someone’s request for a date etc.

        1. I’ve never minded a dick pic. Saves the disappointment later if it’s not what you want ! I had a guy one night in a bar take my hand and place it on his rather firm member. I looked at him totally unaffected felt around it then dropped my hand. He was crest fallen and said “I’m not big enough for you am I ?” ‘Errrr actually no but thanks it’s saved us a lot of time’.

          1. To each their own. I’ve personally never allowed a man’s penis size have any bearing on his worth to me as a partner, probably because if my value to him were dependent upon my tits n ass, I’d tell him to run along and fuq off.. 😉

            Do unto others and all of that.

            1. Oh I get what you’re saying but if you just want him for that for a few hours…
              If we go back to the post this is about, the virgoan spreadsheet find a husband girl. She did exactly this for weeks on many aspects and multiple men. Very clinical.

  9. While I applaud her efficiency, I could NEVER see four men in one day! Good goddess, no – how in the world could I give someone my undivided attention that way?! What did she do, book each date in 2 hour increments? How can you possibly leave room for things to unfold organically when you hold a stopwatch to it because you have to run off for your next date in precisely 120 minutes? Jeez, it’s like the egg timer biological clock but waaaay worse, LOL!

    I <3 Virgo, I truly do. I have a Virgo sister, a Virgo best friend I’ve had since I was 13, and two Virgo Moons in my family FWIW. I find many of their eccentricities endearing and adore how helpful they are. But if a guy did this to me, I’d consider it a total turn-off….basically, you’re treating me like some kind of cheap disposable commodity and completely discounting the possibility that I might be Something Special that you might want to spend more than 120 minutes of your time on. It’s a lot like fuq-n-run (which I don’t do either), only without the fun part, LOL! As far as I am concerned, you had better either not tell me that you have 3 other dates lined up today or else cancel those other rendezvous tout sweet if you’re hoping for a second date with moi.

    It’s a fast food approach to dating is what it boils down to, and I’m all about holding space to serve one carefully prepared quality dish rather than trying to do the whole “billions and billions served” deal. Sorry, it’s just not for me!

    1. exactly LV. the Mc Donalds approach to meeting peeps. Everybody comes packaged up -looking good from the outside, the marketing lures you in and then you open the wrapper and bam – soggy lettuce falls out and it tastes like crap.

  10. Spreadsheeting in close relationships when you think about it could be considered a kink ? A deviation. ? A type of BDSM. Even a new category of porn.?

    ” Here’s busty euro Lotta Fagina in her latest spreadsheeting romp… “

    1. LMFAO!

      Aren’t Virgos known for the whole sexy librarian thing?? Maybe you’re onto something there – perhaps this is just another variant of it! 😀

  11. She is not a Venus-Uranus Woman!

    And while I am reflexively completely freaked out by this to the point where I am literally twitching, I think it is both good and just policy and aesthetically pleasing to juxtapose the two. 🙂

  12. Here’s the spreadsheet of my online dating experiences:
    Douchebags: 20
    Non-douchebags: 0
    It was when the website matched me up with MY EX-HUSBAND that I realised online was probably not for me 🙂
    Neptune is on my 7th house Pisces sun-Saturn-Merc. Over to you, Fate!

    1. lol — can’t believe you were matched with your ex! which site may I ask? i’ve tried rsvp and ok cupid and found them both pretty crap

      1. It was rsvp. Being a multi-Piscean I took it as a sign from the cosmos that if I stayed online I would only get more of the same as I’ve had before.
        In the end, it became about efficiency but not quite in the way of Mystic’s strawberry blonde Virgo. My Mars in Virgo started adding up the time spent online and going on crap dates… the opportunity cost, i.e. what else could I be doing with that time.

    2. I had a similiar experience! Got matched with 3 ex-bfs, 4 friend i already knew who i had no chemistry with in *that* way, 3 secretly marrieds, and the rest…ugh…no profile pic, incomplete profile, etc….
      I was like F this!

      1. I’ll join you David – played by a violin of course. Got no time for online dating palava. Any friend who contemplates it I give 10 good reasons not to. No. 1 is opportunity cost like Chys said above.

    3. I am interested to know how women are scamming? Are there married women online looking to play away? God I am so naive!!

      1. OH ok that makes sense. God, how soul-destroying.
        I could deal with rejection… it was being ignored after being in contact that really pissed me off.
        I love that your scammers said they were from Perth. How funny! So far away it may as well be Mars. I live there/here 🙂

    4. I’ve been thinking about this and I reckon if I go online again I would do what Ms Virgo did. Be really up front so everyone knows precisely how I intend to proceed.

      Perhaps because I am hugely Virgo – I am Pluto-Uranus-Mars in Virgo (1st and 2nd houses) – I actually like the spreadsheet approach. Ms Virgo above didn’t find love this way, she found candidates. Big difference. Love will only ever be the thing that happens between two people.

      BUT I agree with others asking about the bloke – any chance of a follow-up post? The bloke’s astro, their synastry etc?

      1. What about speed dating? It sounds pressured but fun too. Good advice is given as how to survive, find people through this. There was an article in the newspaper about it, weeks ago, unsure if age restriction applies…Then a friend who is a single parent told me she was attending “meet ups”, that are not for dating but more for establishing common interest…I think internet dating is really dicy…

        Always love hits when you are least prepared. You go to the shops, you attend a seminar, You have work, or a doctors appointment, you just do not know who you will meet…maybe that’s hoplessly optimistic…

        I’m having a progressed scorprio rising / 1st house, with juno and ceres also in scorpio /12th / conjunct…My progressed sun and moon are in aries 8th…with transiting uranus (squaring my poor caprciorn venus 5th (that is being pluto-fried) LOL even though I have endless energy where there was once fatigue, illness, its not brilliant, as all the sex in the world does not equal love…in fact it is horribly desolate emotionally…

        I relate to the virgo pisces dilemma; integrity and love should be able to mix, but it seems a challenge…I could be divorced just because I loathe an “arrangement”…As I said I feel like a domestic slave, concubine…

        Just on the speed dating, it seemed there is an art to this; as its fairly light, so not too intense, brief, etc…so a person would be reasonably confident, know what they were OK to offer / discuss, easy about giving it a go – and if the vibes were not really good about the whole set up, then onto another idea…

        1. I’ve not tried speed dating, but what puts me off is the cost, and the fact that you’re only matched by an ‘age group’. Sounds like a big waste of time unless you just want to meet a man in your age group and (possibly) single.

          1. Would the concepts of meet ups with a theme of common interest be good? I think this might be the best path for people wanting to connect. I am a mess at present, far from inner contentment. I have my intersl martial arts, I do my best with what’s immediate…

        2. Sun Meetups is a well established and legit site where you can join any group by interest. Im currently in 4 groups and they are great. Not there to find a hookup just peeple with common interests e.g bushwalking. there are singles groups but I don’t go on any of them. Too busy being happily solo

      2. Yep Sun-Saturn-Merc conj. in Pisces.
        Also Cap moon-Lilith-Eros-Juno conj. I am Saturn! That’s when I’m not being Neptune.

  13. I find this sort of organisational control freakery fascinating – like watching an anaconda swallowing a crocodile type of fascinating – from afar. Tho in my much younger years I dated a Virgo Sun/Moon guy with a spreadsheet fetish. At first i was flattered that i was passing all his tests, but then a deep discomfort set in. I’d wake up in the mornings feeling apprehensive, like at exam days at school. Then one day i overheard – ok, eavesdropped on Mr Virgo talking to his sister – telling her how when we got married we’d buy a place nearer to parents, etc. Thing is he hadn’t even broached the subject of marriage with ME yet.

    My phase 1 reaction by my Sun/Moon in 9th H trine Jupe in 1st H – was to jump out the window – literally.
    My phase 2 reaction was accidentally knocking down a multiple Sadge with my car door the following day, and taking off with him on a 5 year stint hitching rides round the world. The only spreadsheet we followed were the stars above us.

    My partner also likes to draw spreadsheets occasionally (Mars in Virgo – can’t help himself), but his Sadge Moon eventually ends up making them into paper planes and throwing them at the cat who then mangles them. 🙂

    1. I love so many things about what you wrote:

      Apprehensive like exam days as a reaction to the spreadsheet approach–yes!

      Knocking down a multiple–Saggo and following the stars with him — Perfect! Lucky you!

      I have Mars in Virgo –make spreadsheets and lists all the time– but I believe in the saying “Plans are nothing; Planning is everything.” Making a spreadsheet to organize your thought processes on prospective matches–that’s one thing–but actually choosing someone to be with, based on that spreadsheet –that is horrendous.

  14. Kudos to the Virgo!

    Dating’s not for everyone, but I can appreciate a good system that pulls on one’s personal strengths.

    Has anyone seen Amy Webb’s TED Talk, ‘How I hacked internet dating?’
    Here’s the link:

    She took spreadsheeting and dating algorithm to NASA levels of data precision. Amy Webb wins the (dating) internet, for sure.

  15. Brava to the virgo in question for her success, but I would not follow her example. This just seems too clinical an approach to other people. It actually reminds me of a captive breeding programme, with genes and traits all carefully tracked. Thankfully, life and desire have a way of getting around all attempts to control them. My INFPness must trump my virgoness, I’m just not a systematizer in my daily life, though I love stats in the abstract, absolutely love them, for me they don’t belong in the domain of relationships. I like starting the day with no plan, I just can’t bear to make lists or formal plans that contain more than two steps, I find it stultifying. Someone close to me met her partner at top of a mountain, having just been buffetted nearly off her feet by a blast of icy wind, she looked up and met the eyes of her soon to be beloved, also struggling to their feet. How lovely is that? Story and narrative is so much more important than we imagine.

  16. i only have Juno in Virgo (Jupiter is hanging in my natal degree right now!) and i feel i am as efficient as this person with potential boyfriends. I drop them on the spot if i don’t like how they behaved on the 1st date and i usually schedule dates according to the moon in transit. Like, if the moon is in my 7th house i meet up with the husband material type. If the moon is in the 5th or 8th, well, you know…. The point is I reeeeaaallly need to like them or they’re gone. Hope Jupiter introduces me to the right one soon 🙂

  17. I was the victim of spreadsheeting once.
    I had all my boxes ticked and got on the ‘verify’ train. It was after the blood test that things got interesting. I’d worked out her algorithm in a few weeks and verification became established.
    Months in and a few elements changed. You know, things that were not part of the equation. Life.
    Her response to these changes was first irritation followed soon by tantrum like behaviour. Instead of finessing the equation she fought tooth and nail for it.
    She mourned for months over the fact that somehow, even after crossing every Tee, spreadsheeting all potential scenarios, and actually getting what she wanted she still wasn’t happy.
    We broke up and I was so relieved.

    So good luck with the spreadsheeting girls. Please understand that it’s an immediate pressure , a presence in every waking moment. Aside from possibly ending up with a hand puppet.

    1. Buckle (Aries Sun, Pisces Rising, Gem Moon)

      I like that.

      And you know, if someone were to spreadsheet my details (I’m a woman), maybe they would put me in different columns on different days… give me different scores… I’ve certainly met people who made vastly different impressions in different situations.

      Honestly, I’m just not a ‘dater’ at all. Dating’s a weird netherworld to me.

    2. Yeah I was mentally spreadsheeted by a guy once. It was like ” well I’m glad you approve of these features. Which form do I sign?” A Virgo of course with venus in cancer so I eventually didn’t fit his model of galadriel-talking butter wouldn’t melt in mouth model of girlfriend . No matter, he was hot and had mars in scorpio so I was still ahead in my own system…

      1. LOL!!! Yes – I’ve been there too with a Sun/Moon Virgo with a spreadsheet fetish… don’t know his Mars, but between the sheet activities were hott.

      2. oh noes, current crush is a virgo sun, venus cancer, cap rising, pisces moon! maybe that’s why he hasn’t made a move — I don’t tick enough ‘perfect girlfriend’ boxes Lol

      3. not sure if he likes spreadsheets, but he *is* into venn diagrams and egyptology — and saving the world (tres idealistic)

    3. Hehe… you made me laugh David 🙂

      Organisation has it’s place, rarely works on other and the only spread sheeting I do with my partner is the one where we pull them back and jump in.

  18. I have a screenplay running through my head. Miss Virgo is played by Emily Blount. Cancelled Date Guy #1 is Matt Damon. The real protagonist is Cancelled Date Guy #2 who goes on to create a computer virus that erases every spreadsheet in the world and thus re-establishes humankind’s Free Will.

    1. I’d watch that. Fight Club but for organisational software not credit card companies lol. Bradley Cooper also a contender for ditched coffee date # 3 etc.

        1. I was thinking more along the lines of “The Re-Adjustment Bureau.” The real hero of the movie is the soon-to-be-Husband, who throws himself on a grenade. He saves Canceled Date Guy #2, who goes on to save the world.

  19. great story! appeals to my mars and venus in virgo 7H sensibilities…i.e. the thought of having to perfect yourself before you are worthy of a partner / also blatant honesty and due diligence in explaining who you are unapologetically (like she did saying what she normally looks like and wears to manage expectations), so good! though my pisces rising opposes this so I think am the hopeless romantic dreamer instead and find/seek this strong Virgo vibe through others in relationships for grounding

  20. Excellent topic!

    I had a similar system but less time to waste, and eventually could not even be bothered with meeting. (Capricorn).

    I would request a five minute phone conversation, and could tell everything I needed to know within the first 60 seconds.

    But I have Mars in Libra / the 3rd, so how pleasantly a man communicates determines how much I like him.

    With my current partner, I sat next to him on a plane and was busy working, paying him no attention, but then I heard him talking with his friend and instantly had the hots for him.

    I do feel that knowing your Mars helps you to be real about what sorts of men you should target and what you want, and this saves much time.

    I also like to look at their Venus and Moon to get realistic about whether they will find me appealing, and will typically demand their DOB immediately. Finally, I want to see what planets they have in my 7th, 8th and 9th houses, and vice versa.

    Astrology for me is THE ultimate tool for efficiency, because it stops you wasting time on things that aren’t right for you, and people who aren’t simpatico.

    1. Tone of voice and communication style is massive for me. from experience that there are some Venus signs that are not compatible with moi as well. I’d always give something a chance if the feeling was right but be mindful of potential sticking points..

    2. Gosh I couldn’t agree more about Mars! Both his and hers! Because my Mars is in Aquarius I always seek men with that combination of high intelligence and detachment – innovators and inventors like my father, grandfather, and brother (all of whom are Aquarius sun). I go between feeling doomed to these men, to feeling safe and childlike with these men.
      (Also have Venus in Aquarius, so not getting away from this deal anytime soon.)

    3. Hmmm… I need to check out my Mars. I am with you on knowing immediately whether or not the guy is worth it.

      Virgo sun here!

  21. She must be pretty hot to get that many dates with all the requirements. If i didn’t count the peeps who i knew were secretly married, there was not a single man who messaged me that could even be arsed into actually reading my profile. How she managed? I have no idea. She must look like a model.

    1. She went on E-harmony as her research had established that to be the most real relationship focused. I don’t think it would work too well on tinder lol

      1. Ah that explains it! I tried to do eharmony but my application was rejected. Based on my answers it said i am the type of person who would do better meeting others in person instead of online and that less than 2% of their database would be a match. At least they didnt steal my money and were honest.
        Another friend of mine got rejected because it said her answers were inconsistent. I have 2 other friends who got married from eharmony (still married +5yrs).

      2. Ergh. I tried eharmony for about 3 days. I made the mistake of ticking “open to the idea of children” (or whatever it was) and pretty much the only profiles I was shown were men 10++ years older than me, defeated-looking types or those who were maybe playaaaaz 15 years ago and realised they probably should “meet someone” before they retired. Well that was my first impression anyway. A bit mean probably but for a first online dating experience…erk

    2. I know a Barrister who specialises in family law, LOL sexually transmitted debt, wonderful person who met and married their spouse from the site eharmony…

      Note: Never have I or would I contemplate internet dating, and I am multiple virgo stellium 1st, with jupiter 12th conjunct ascendant, BUT I do have an exact uranus (+ conjunct pluto) mars (7th) opposition…Totally prefer sudden impromptu completely removed from expectations…

        1. I’m used to rejection. I once got thrown out of a Jehoveh’s witness study group and asked not to come back. They don’t like it when you ask too many questions and are full of curiosity. 🙁

  22. Embrace who you are, seems like the lesson. Some of us dream in spreadsheets (ugh, but there you have it). I’m Virgo sun, Taurus moon, Pisces rising — I can’t decide whether to just manage it all with a spreadsheet or wait for serendipity to happen and meet my soulmate in line at the liquor store while buying my favorite excellent Bordeaux wine (/cough/ I did say Taurus moon /cough/).

  23. Have to admit I laughed really hard at “spreadsheeted” and attracted stares from other coffee drinkers. Awesome!

  24. Now THAT’S efficiency.

    The Universe REFUSES to allow me to micro-manage relationships. Tells me to work on old demons (that damn 12th house stellium) and to follow my bliss. So I do. And I’ve met a few, but they weren’t at my level yet so I had to keep rolling solo. When I get bummed out in moments synchronicities happen and I just think ‘All is as it should’.

    To all the lovers – enjoy! I’m a lover, and I’ll just keep loving myself until the right one comes along that would like to share learning, laughter, creativity, adventures and ecstatic passion 🙂 <3

    1. Oh I’m with you here. I just let them come into my life. And I know them when they do. Roll with it, let them go if that’s the path but store all the memory and the joys plus the tears. I’ve known my three husbands were husbands when my eyes first met theirs. And because I’ve had three I don’t consider it failure just lots of experience. But I’m keeping this last one!

          1. Actually I did have a guy get really cross with me because I refused to be categorised or fit in with his perceptions. We sat and discussed for a long while. He got heated (not in a good way) mostly about my sexual nature. And concluded that that’s not what he could possibly handle in a woman. He did text me a few days later to thank me for expanding his vision though !

        1. Yes I am, always too…One was unrequited (suicide, 1st saturn in scorpio conjunct / transiting their scorpio moon transit), 2nd was mature, stabilising and had neptune scorpio rising but saturn in pisces close to my mars & opposite my virgo stellium, 3rd partner has sun venus mercury all 8th, jupiter in scorpio 3rd, (with mars saturn opposite sign)…

          Met a person last year during saturn in scorpio, very unexpected after difficult time in my current marriage, I know this is impossible, he has also has jupiter AND neptune in scorpio as other two men, (I have juno, ceres natally in scorpio 2nd in a grand trine plus with scorpio neptune 3rd) plus other pluto intense aspects, planets), felt “fated” but painful, liberating but potentially destructive, and there is moral minefield with children involved…

          1. Wow you do 8th in a big way. My most potent lover of over eight years was an 8th house pile up. Wooooo he was something but I knew he’d never be marriage material.

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