Dreaming Of Ex-Lovers

What does it mean when an ex-lover suddenly starts to star in your dreams for no apparent reason? You don’t want to be with them and you’d scream the house down if you woke up with them or time-warped back to that era- so what is going on?

Is it that while you’re over that relationship, your subliminal mind is not? Or are you and this person still together in the astral realm?

You’ve moved on. You rebuilt your life and you’re confident that the romance was not meant to last longer. In some cases, it soured and no amount of saccharine gambits could sweeten it again. Or, you out-grew them and realized that to stay, you would need to bonsai yourself into a stunted sad shape of your potential.

In some cases, it was worse. You lost them un-naturally, while still in love. Or, it was traumatic and they were abusive. You crawled out of that wreckage, like a Plutonic mercenary, vowing never again.

Dreaming of ex-lovers makes sense when you still love them or actively seek them back. If that’s the case, a simple Saturn-style action plan or some therapy can help you to assess the terrain. It’s cognitive. You either reunite or you comprehensively put this behind you. But when you don’t want to be in that relationship again and you are still having those dreams, it’s time for astral action.

You may have a Shadow Self trapped somewhere in the basement of your psyche. That self is still fighting a war that’s over. They’re on a psychic loop, proving something to a phantom.

Recognizing and reintegrating that self is the realm of shamans. Focusing on this mission when the Moon is conjunct your natal Neptune (delineated each month in your Daily Horoscopes) is highly effective: keep a dream diary, connect with your guides or different dimensions of yourself via a meditation like the Sirius Mp3, pay extra attention to auric hygiene and attempt to logically figure out where this other person is at re you.

By ‘logically’ – I mean ‘magically’ or intuitively but with your own desires kept out of the quest. It’s possible that this ex of yours is still not over you so their astral self is visiting you. The less they’ve dealt with the break-up consciously, the more likely they are to have uncompleted psychic energy swirling about the place.

If so and assuming you distinctly do not want to reunite with this person, consider whether you’ve got items in the house that act as touchstones for your ex’s astral self and if so, remove them.

If you have a child together, you’re connected for good but affirming their role as co-parent/parent of…(your child/children) rather than your ‘ex’ is often helpful. Whenever you speak about them, refer to them as the “X’s father” or “my children’s mother” to distinguish the roles and draw an invisible line.

Dream-wise, set an intent to be aware during any dream that requires it and – in this case – to bid farewell to the phantom of your former lover. Or, if you’re up for it, to ask what they want. You are not a passive participant in this process – dream lives matter!

Finally, you could also be dreaming of ex-lovers at times when you’re not certain about your present or future. It’s not so much that you want the person back or to complete an unfinished conversation, it’s harking back to an era when you thought you had things more sorted out.

It was a more certain time, even if you were discontent. And, if you’re currently single, it could be that though you don’t want to be in that relationship again, your psyche is saying you’re ready to share more with another person.

Keeping a dream diary will help you understand these vagaries, even if the dream notes do not make sense at the time. In fact, dream fragments can sound deranged but miraculously, when you read over them later, the narrative is entirely clear.

Thoughts?