Your Neptunian Boyfriend

Your Neptunian boyfriend never gave a fuq what time it was. He wasn’t “always late” – he saw himself as transcendental.  But he’d queue overnight to be there on time for music, cinema, or drugs.  He had a horticulture degree’s equivalent of knowledge on Dream Weed and framed his use of Space Dust as some sort of anarchy.  You could tell he thought his beauty and charm inoculated him against all harm.

A human example of the Heisenberg Principle*, he was so oblivious to current affairs that he could plausibly have claimed brainwashing. You found it soothing at the time. Yet occasionally, he’d come out with A-grade, rock-solid insider info, fuq knows from where. Neptunians protect their sources by being unsure if they were a hallucination or not.

He’d find money in the street as if by osmosis and could literally smell gold. He had a hit-list of status symbols he wanted to acquire with the lucre from his hypothetical fantasy business. He was the only person you knew who navigated by rumor.

Your Neptunian Boyfriend Navigated By Rumor

To be honest, during the time you had your Neptunian Boyfriend, you’re not even sure if you were together, as such. His excuses for not meeting your friends or family were ridiculously elaborate – obscure festivities that he was obliged to attend, covert missions, an environmental incident that silenced all communications within his orb.

But now you realize that seeing you in a broad context would have taken you out of his narrative stream. You were a metaphor, a cipher.

Or did he live in another dimension and visit you the way a Shaman journeys to other worlds? Because that was the only explanation for how hard he apparently found the connection. You remember his starry eyes swirling with nebulae as he haltingly explained “I don’t know if I can make it…it’s the next suburb over, that street  – it’s…it’s tricky.”

You don’t know what happened to him, he is one of those traceless people: no social media trail, no public profiles. Still, your Neptunian Boyfriend persists in dreams, more present and reliable on the astral plane than he ever was in the everyday.

He appears through the disco mist, talking about a neo-Incan rapper and suggesting you invest in ankhs. You can reach him, he says, anytime. You always could.

*The Heisenberg Principle – You can never know both the momentum and the position of a particle at the same time.

Image: Roger Meno 

54 thoughts on “Your Neptunian Boyfriend”

  1. And they’ve all tended to have the same physical features too!😩like slender, strong mermen who’ve definitely learned more than a few songs from their siren cousins to croon n’ swoon with.

    Grateful for time, age and wisdom. These dudes CAN walk on land, they just feel awkward about it and struggle. Yeh, so do I, underwater, with a companion who thinks lungs can grow gills faster than fins can become legs.

    Neptunian men are still so achingly beautiful but the shoreline is the only place to meet. gills and fins won’t transform because of well wishes and desires, they transform from recognizing that one lacks/has what the other has/lacks and time spent there, at the shoreline if there’s any hope of finding inroads to each other’ worlds

    (3HAries Venus -about to have her return, square 1H cap Neptune)

  2. does a taurus with at least three pisces placements count, and a quadruple pisces. (eros in pisces is a red flag for me now as is Venus in pisces even if it is right on my sun , I can’t deal with not living up to their fantasy.) I mean I thought I was bad but these men. good god. wish I’d seen this post then or at least realised what it really meant if I did see it then forgot

    1. Absolutely counts! Tbh, its not just Pisces placements, but also 12th house action or interaction with Natal Neptune. If you feel the space dust in your eye, it absolutely counts.

      I am counting one with Venus in Pisces dang on my Descendent, conj my natal Lilith, with Mars too in Pisces in 7th house. He also has his staid, reliable Virgo moon marred with a Neptune square. Plus, my Neptune sits on his South node. He is my Karmic Dreamboat.

      Dreamer. Musical. Always reachable on astral plane. Hot intel out of nowhere. Traceless on social media. Thinks his charm inoculates him from harm. 😅 Hell to the yeah! This is one of those golden (hehe) Mystic posts we will keep coming back to, year after year.

  3. I’m in the process of trying to get my final belongings of this clown of addiction and cycle of horror to be over. I’ve got to say on the balance card of intimacy you get a failure even if your brain says you got the ammo. Everything this you say is literally absolutely true MM, except I don’t want this drama of selfishness to continue. Repeatedly today the phrase “End of Story” is spoken by a many people I have spoken to today. I’m all for this chapter to find the Exit like Snaggle Puss does, with the exclusion clause shut on the dramatic love zombie (hacked, stalked and just juvenile attitude ain’t punk it’s this Rent a crowd tool).

  4. My favourite boyfriend is the one that’s far away as it’s ALL about the fantasy. Couldn’t have a ‘normal’ relationship, far too ordinary & mundane. About an hour is all i can take before becoming restless. Relationship ADD 🙂 The one that makes my heart beat is a Leo (of course…the heart & the hearth fire). Same age so just texted him a happy solar return. He is my unwell Virgo friend’s bestie & both in lock down in Victoria so i’m safe from making either of them a reality.Guess it takes a Leo to pull my heart strings. He is an expert gardener 🙂

  5. My new pandemic boyfriend is Neptunian and so am I.

    Soooo …. thank you for this post! It’s totally Neptunian itself — gave me a helpful ‘aha’ moment in a wordless yet potent way for how/why to keep sailing along with this new, mysterious, unprecedented and important connection.

    btw, am finding it tricky to develop/evolve a pandemic protocol for social distancing. I live in the USA where everyone is on their own to devise strategies, and in a southern college town that’s about to double or so in population w/students incoming, etc. Who gets into my quarantine circle and why? How much? What do I know/need to know about my circles circles? Without magic, intuition and you Mystic I’d be completely at sea. 🙂

    The new bf and I are both Scorpio Neptune, his conjunct Venus/5th house Scorpio, and mine basically conjunct Mars Scorpio 10th/11th houses (4 degrees).Both our Neptune’s make multiple aspects to other points in our charts. It’s interesting – I’m into learning more about it, most certainly.

    Thank you again Mystic! Tridents up and all the best from North Carolina! 🙂

  6. Crystallised future

    Ha!! Spot on. Mars/Jupiter/Mercury in 1st house bloke within 5 degree orb opposite Neptune in 7th house. An absolute arsehole but I learned a lot!

  7. Not my boyfriend, but my former best friend. This description nails it. I don’t even know what exactly Neptune is doing in his chart, never looked too closely, but there’s a Pisces Moon and other stuff that I stopped wanting to have anything to do with LOL

  8. I once had a Neptunian boyfriend, long long ago. To my amusement, I had a flashback recently as to how I ended things with him by pouring an alcoholic drink over his head in a bar. Hee hee. Is that a suitably Neptunian ending? This was after he’d disappeared into thin air on me, then turned up at a bar and sleazed onto every single girl there right in front of my face before asking me if I wanted to take him home. 😆
    When I think about it, life was generally so much more Neptunian in my 20s…

  9. Neptune’s in my 12th house and I totally have Heisenberg’s formula tattooed on my chest (literally). I would explain in more detail, but I totally gotta run to this ‘The Untold History of Absinthe’ Webinar”, which I’m scheduled to speak at (and I’m running late)… Peace out Love 🙂

  10. I love this. I wish I had had this in 1983 the year of my 18th birthday when I waited and waited and waited for the Neptunian boyfriend I met on a park bench in the wee small hours when my “friends” had dumped me because I was too emotional. He swore he was coming to pick me up and take me to dinner at some amazing restaurant for my 18th. He was a no show. I sat and cried and listened to Elton John albums. Weeks later he showed up like he was on time just slightly delayed and my Dad held me back from running to him as he explained he’d been in an epic car accident, yet somehow could not ring 🙄

  11. As I read this I was nodding. Yes bizarre appearances, mysterious reasoning and stunningly gorgeous yet unattainable. Then I thought about my Neptune conjunct South Node in 10th Scorp also conjunct ‘his name’ asteriod. I had it coming and didn’t even see it dissolve cause I was wrapped in the delicious vampire obsessive mode. Made for some great deeply personal symbolic art.

  12. Haha this one made me laugh. My Neptunian boyfriend did indeed live in another world – asteroid Ikea, on which he lived with a wife and three kids.

      1. Actually I knew he was married – I was hoping he would leave her for me. It was all the cliches and 100 per cent self-deception on my part. A huge life lesson. Neptune was on my Venus at the time. Say no more!

        1. Crystallised future

          Shivers! I’ve just realised that’s where Neptune was sitting when I ‘suffered my episode’ with the delusional bloke!! Opposite my Pluto too. Blew me apart. Thanks for that.

        2. Chrysalis my darling, oh I get it. What is it with you and I and these synchronicities? I also had my heart hooked on a married man a few years who helped me through an extremely tricky part of my life, when I was stuck in an abusive and loveless marriage. If I’m brutally honest with myself, there still is a tiny part of me that still has hope that after his kids grow up we might be able to get together – only 10 years or so away! Lol. LZ or what? I have Neptune in my 5th house natally, and had Neptune in my 7th house for my entire adult life until very recently. The LZ struggle is real! Thanks for sharing your story, astro-sis. x

          1. And just to add to the Neptunian boyfriend theme, I just discovered today that the man I am currently in an attraction scenario with is a multiple conjunct Piscean! My closest female friends have always been Piscean so I’m a bit excited about this. (And yeah, maybe I’m LZing a bit…)

          2. OH wow astro twinnie, our experiences match up again! My guy was the same – a deep and transformative experience that cracked me open after years buried in an Arctic tundra of a marriage. I was Pluto on his 7th house sun, he was Neptune on my Venus. His Mars-NN was on my Pisces stellium, his sun on my moon. Intense is an understatement. I LZ’d for aeons but now am SO glad he didn’t leave wifey for me. The lessons were essential to set me on the path I’m on today.

            1. Chrys, I love your words…”cracked me open after years buried in an Arctic tundra of a marriage”. Wow. That synastry is spine tingling. All conjunctions? Mega intense. His Pisces moon was smack bang on my South Node, and it was the most healing and nourishing scenario of my entire life. Never felt so fully understood or accepted before. Venus-Neptune trine, Venus-Mars trine, Venus-Jupiter trine…so much going on. Mystic’s soulmating report had 5 links and really resonated.

              Want to hear something funny? I did a soulmating report for my arctic tundra marriage, and guess what came up? A blank page. Lol. I was in stitches. Best closure ever. I wasn’t into astrology when I got together with ex-hub but gee I wish I was, for as tricky as synastry can be to interpret, with ours it’s pretty glaringly obvious it doesn’t make for a happy family… “Mars opposite Mars” for starters. 😂 And that’s in a Scorpio and Aries couple. A learning experience nevertheless. We live, we learn. xo

              1. OMG zero soulmate links??!! That is so funny. Closure, indeed! And Mars opp Mars in a Scorp-Aries couple does sound like it would need careful management.
                With my Neptunian guy there were 10 soulmate links and with my ex-hub, 11. I was really surprised about that but it also helped me to see the relationship in context and why it felt so safe and familiar. The last time I saw my ex-hub it was very strange, I actually heard a loud noise like the slamming of a heavy door. It felt final on a cosmic level, as if we’d finally resolved many lifetimes of interaction. I’m not much of a believer in past lives – no judgements for those who do, just that I have more than enough challenge dealing with this life I’m living – but the moment was unmistakeable.
                Keep us posted on your multi-Piscean new bloke! What does he have in Pisces? xx

                1. Chrysalis, wow, that is so interesting about the heavy door slam that you heard. So fascinating too that you had that such a huge number of soulmate links with both Mr Neptunian and ex hub! 10 and 11 is massive!

                  Can I possibly ask you how you managed to close things off with your Neptunian married guy? Any tips? In my case it’s now essentially a long distance supportive friendship. We’ve been hundreds of kms away for years now. But romantic undertones creep in naturally and I wonder if it’s still holding me back somewhat from fully moving on in my life. With me being Scorp sun and he being Taurus sun, it’s like we just can’t stop holding on. I guess I intuitively know that I need to stay firmly grounded in my life in my present city and the reality that it’s highly unlikely I can ever actually be with this guy, and minimise the contact as much as possible. I know going no contact would be a better option but I just can’t bring myself to do that yet… any tips appreciated!

                  Oh yes and the multi-piscean new prospect has Sun, Merc and Venus in Pisces. And interestingly, a Virgo moon just like the ex hub. It’s funny but I sensed that part, smelt it a mile off. I’m starting to think online dating is great for developing your astro intuition. 😆 I will keep you posted, and I trust all is well with your new beau? x

                2. Oh wow, the long distance thing is so appealing in so many ways but also a double-edged sword. It can stop you from moving forward, it holds you hostage to an ideal. And before you know it, years can pass. (But I bet your Cap moon has told you all this before, right?)
                  In my case, it was heartbreakingly prosaic. I simply gave him an ultimatum, fearing what the answer would be. It was her or me. Simple as that. Unsurprisingly, he chose her, he said it was for the children, but I’m pretty sure he still loved her. I know it was hard for him but in the end he just made a decision. Or more accurately, I made a decision because I knew when giving the ultimatum what the answer would be and I’d persuaded myself I was strong enough to deal with it.
                  So much good came out of that relationship and indeed from the Plutonic hell that was the aftermath. But at the time it was so very, very dark. Ultimately, it taught me how to value myself. And it rebirthed my creativity.
                  The Mutable Toro is wonderful, thank you for asking. I am very happy and so glad I didn’t end up with my Neptunian boyfriend. Your mult-Pisces sounds lovely – well I would say that, with Sun-Merc-Saturn-Chiron in Pisces! My sis has Venus in Pisces and it is such a lovely placement. How’s his Neptune transit going? xx

                3. Thanks again, lovely, for sharing your story. I think I need to think long and hard about what I channel my time and energies into. In my case there has been some emotional support dependency on him, as the ex hub effectively isolated me from many of my friends, but I’m in a space now where I have re-established or created new supportive friendships. I like what you said about being held hostage to an ideal – yes, that is exactly what is so problematic here.
                  Even though I’ve been dating, there is part of my psyche still hooked on him.

                  Thanks so much, Chrysalis – I will hold onto your words.

                  Knowing about you and the mutable toro gives me hope too! So great to hear things are going well 😊

                  I remember things seeming really tough for you at one point but it looks like you rode out the storm (plutonic hell?) really well. Kudos to you.

                  Yes, venus in Pisces is so lovely. Does your sister have a heightened aesthetic sense? My daughter has that placement too.

                  I’m a bit concerned with my piscean prospect, lovely as he is, that it might be too much of a south node thing with me (I’m south node Pisces). His sun and venus are on my south node. Meanwhile my Jupiter is smack on his north node which looks pretty good for him! My Saturn in Virgo is also conjunct his moon. Quite a bit happening. Anyway, I’m enjoying the sweetness for now. He is really lovely.

                  So great chatting. xx

                4. He sounds divine, and your understanding of the nuances will see you through. So exciting for you! xx

                5. Laughed my ass off at “smelt the Virgo moon”, for all my major relationships have them. I attract these Virgo moon men like flies. 🤣

  13. *The Heisenberg Principle – You can never know both the momentum and the position of a particle at the same time.

    That’s because when you’re not looking at a particle it’s a wave. When you look at it, it knows and takes on its particle like form. You can’t know it’s momentum because all you see is a snapshot.
    Einstein called this spooky action at a distance. This wave / particle action is the basis of what will become the foundation of a whole new communication system. Called quantum entanglement it works a bit like this.
    They find 2 particles that are joined together and encode them with say the letter A . They then split the two keeping 1 and say taking the other one to the moon.
    The spooky action is that if you change the encoding on the one you kept. The one on the moon will instantly reflect that change.
    So a message is encoded into the particles you’ve kept and will instantly appear as that message in the ones on the moon. No energy, wires, fiber, signals .. nothing. Also no security needed.

      1. Quantum entanglement was was first conceived over 300 years ago. It led to the saying “when a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, is there a sound ?
        The answer is no. It’s the vibration of our eardrums that makes sound as we know it.
        Only when light is observed does it take particle form. A forest would look like a soup of waves, when it’s observed it becomes the forest of trees we know.

  14. “I don’t know if I can make it…it’s the next suburb over, that street – it’s…it’s tricky.”
    Neptune in scorp 5th house..

  15. Neptune’s in my 12th house and I totally have Heisenberg’s formula tattooed on my chest (literally). I would explain in more detail, but I totally gotta run to this ‘The Untold History of Absinthe’ Webinar”, which I’m scheduled to speak at (and I’m running late)… Peace out Love 🙂

  16. I have Neptune and the South Node on my Ascendant conjunct the Galactic Center, and it’s me. I’m the Neptunian Boyfriend. The last part really capped it off: The ghost who claims they could always be reached. I’m laughing at both this and myself.

  17. Iam a taurus and had an Aquarius boss. He was on space dust most of the time but he fascinated me. He was so demanding one minute then creative the next. He said he went to India to find himself when he was young and started his own business from there.His friends were all a bit strange as if they came from another planet. He had a heart of gold. I ended up leaving because of the culture in the office wasn’t great. Think the staff were enthralled with him and they wanted me out because he liked me!!

  18. Isn’t the Heisenberg Principle, like, duh? I’m excited for the August scopes! I’m in America, so wish us well!

  19. Pisceans. Can’t live with them can’t live without them. I still have a Pisces man and a number of other fantasists in my life. They seem to gravitate to my very solid Saturnian vibe laced with Neptune in Scorpio. I must be like the dominatrix they always dreamed of.
    they do attach themselves to those with money and live in another dimension. And his excuses were laughable but mostly and really oddly usually real ?! Bizarre. But for what ever reason my heart is truly very happy in his presence. He simply makes me laugh and has the most profound effect on my sex life. Weird.

    1. fantasists 😀 , well said emg! I have a lot of virgo in my chart, so probably that goes for me too = the earthiness. I’ve got venus conjunct neptune and there are tons of pisceans in my life (family and not). they don’t really make me nervous, while I just can’t do aquarians’ neptunian streak.

      1. Aquarians they are a different kettle of fish! I love me a Pisces but like you it took me a long while to be cool enough to accept the aqua vibe. They are interesting to study from a distance.

        1. As a multitaurean aquarians and i have usually had some Sort of antimagnetism. Uranus is strong in my chart, in tight opposition to taurean Mercury who is chart ruler. When Uranus was in aqua i had a great aqua friend, she rented me a room and we spent all our time together. Now trough tinder a professor from the art Academy of Tblisi Georgia pops up, for he was on his motorcycle in Denmark ( Im in the south of Norway) now we talk of strange things and send letters with aquarelle miniatures. He is aquarian. And suddenly i love the energy. He is very much into knowing all the practical aspects of living off grid. I thought about what Mystic said of taureans and aquarians being pulled towards one another with Uranus in Taurus. But tell me what kind of kette of fish are they? I have mostly just been in a paralell reality from them

        2. same same, emg, from a distance being the key word. my best and longest-standing female friends are two aquarians and a pisces with aqua values (and probably reflect my moon conjuct uranus). but men? 9 out of 10 aquas I’ve met were gay, and I get alond with them great for partying or intellectual purposes. hetero men = like hel says, total antimagnetism. it’s as if they didn’t exist to me, I just don’t see them, and those I need to be with for work, for instance, vibe very bright but extremely cold/repellent/aloof. my scorpio values just can’t. sometimes I get that with my aqua female besties, the coldness, even though we love each other to bits. on the other hand, I find many aqua actors or pop stars really handsome. or men who turn out to have aqua moons.

  20. re the money finding & smelling money and even gold, I have a lovely pisces friend and I’ve seen it with my own eyes! her husband drives her about, mostly after dark, and she just goes “stop here!”, and she will smell the money – under cars, in gutters, under dead leaves, you name it… she’s neptune’s child too. she went through an alcohol bender during her entire teenage years, without a precise reason (this is what she says), and thanks to aa she’s been alcohol free ever since. still avoids even alcohol in cakes though (scared af). a huge fan of tolkien before it was trendy and of fantasy in general, she does lovely paintings on silk and has a lot of this kind of hobbies.

  21. spot on mystic! my neptunian boyfriend was cancer, leo rising but most importantly imo moon in pisces (probably in the 8th, or even worse in the 9th). always been an uppers + alcohol kind of fiend though. he is on social media because of his job mainly (leo rising, mars in libra). and he’s always and forever after rich and powerful women (me, I was neither so I still don’t know why he fell for me) to seduce with his puppy eyes and sexy stance. luckily he doesn’t haunt me in dreams, but there have been years and years when people would spontaneously tell me of his whereabouts :((((, which I couldn’t care less of .

    1. Yes well deduced – he turned out to be more Neptunian than I had realized. I was meaning to go back and write something but didn’t think anyone was interested – however, I will over the weekend! It was an extremely interesting experience, thank you for asking!

      1. Please do, Mystic! Would love to hear. Was trying to respect your privacy by not hounding you for details. 😆 Whatever it was I hope it was qi-boosting. x

      2. Oh yes Mystic, would love to know, if you’re happy to share… am I right in thinking you have Venus in Pisces? Is Neptune there yet? x

  22. Surely he has some affiliation with the Neptunian life coaching services? Maybe the owner is his twin sister or a kissing cousin? 😀

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