Self-Mastery With Asteroid Gary

The eerie thing about asteroids in Astrology is that they can be relevant. They’re one of those factors that technically should not work – like, say, homeopathy – but often do. Few are more technically irrelevant than asteroid Gary, yet Gary is often SO pertinent.

For example, Gary is currently conjunct Venus, and this uppity asteroid will be conjunct Mars then Pluto in early March. What does it mean? Asteroid Gary is where you’re against pretension and prefer streamlined solutions to complex explanations.

As I said in a previous post on Gary: Gary lends a certain stone-washed masculine braggadocio to any persona or circumstance. Asteroid Gary is simplicity itself, and Gary is where youโ€™re basic. You like going to the mall with your jeans fitting right and good hair. You prefer globally branded food and beverage products or hand-prepared meals composed of commodities such as bread and a spread.ย  You like sunny weather, your velour couch, a good laugh, and sexual release.

Fuq It‘ Is A Gary Affirmation

People with asteroid Gary prominent in their birth charts cannot parse pomposity but, if they knew what it was, they’d dislike it. Or dissolve it by their very presence. Although unlikely to espouse a specific religion or new age belief, Gary people have rites: For example, they often blend a basic banishing spell with an affirmative statement: A scornful sigh followed by the almost ritualistic intonation of ‘fuq it.’

Other strong Gary traits: The ability to quickly attain a trance-like semi-consciousness state if forced to listen to complex, contradictory constructs. An irrational but compelling belief that politicians and related characters are all clones of one another.

Asteroid Gary Is Currently In Capricorn

The desire for minimalist relaxation routines – e.g., noise-canceling DJ style headphones and a maximum bass playlist that cultural arbiters would ban on five continents. An ability to speedily rejuvenate via sleep, orgasm, or a party. To qualify, the latter needs to feature either a fully-clothed dive into a swimming pool or a Dreamweed-fuelled deep conversation with another hot guest in the kitchen. If they turn out to be the dishwasher, so what?

If you’ve been feeling your inner Gary more in recent weeks, perhaps it’s because of this asteroid’s laconic anti-authoritarian stance? Gary doesn’t like getting letters from the local council or penalty notices from parking Illuminati, let alone anything more elaborate.


Undaunted by challenge, the Aries-Gary person will front up to anything except a form to fill out. Intrepid at the mall, intrepid in bed, they’ll always help out if asked or even if they’re not asked. Moving house with one of them is terrifying: they’ll attempt to break speed records and order anyone ‘dawdling’ to ‘stand down.’


Their body is psychic: a left finger that twitches when an odd request is about to arrive, hair on end in advance of trouble etc. They’re like medieval soothsayers with nail art or an infinity playlist of ambient electronica/Iron Maiden. Also: deifies food:particularly the pizza/pasta spectrum + work. Impinge an opportunity for them to eat or earn and you’ll know all about it.


Is rumored to play the sound of their voice in full rapid burbling monologue to soothe them to sleep at night. Guaranteed to be witty. Competitve anecdote teller and freaker-outer at silence or taciturn people. Gary in Gemini people specialize in quoting you back at yourself but with embellishments and reattribution.


Incredibly sensible with money and a shocker if short-changed or over-charged yet will blow ludicrous loot to acquire Aztec artifacts, rocks with extra-galactic energy fields etc. Ask a Gary in Cancer person about their secret pacts with the Moon/the Cat kingdom or the secret stream that they’ve dowsed running under a local motorway.


Their leisure-wear is high-concept and they’re not so much self-assured as self-awarded: eg: Gary in Leo people will augment their sporadic attendance at high school Taekwondo into a situation where they provided lethal aid to save a village. Don’t mention any problems with their hair or their relationship with the person they have deemed a Great Love – ever.


Virgo Vision channeled through a Gary sensibility emerges as fix-it genius. Things are taken apart and then re-assembled or, if they can’t be put back together, used for parts. It can be frustrating when it was a brand new item but it is how they meditate. Even when they’re on the couch, acquiring future one-up info from history docos, they’re planning a zealous fix it job.


Gary in Libra people are diplomats who see themselves as conflict resolvers/advanced negotiators etc but they accomplish most of what they want by sleeping with people/acting as if they’re transfixed with lust and subtle blackmail. They’re a mine of beauty/ageless aging intel but you never know if what they tell you is psy-ops or not.


Asteroid Gary people are good at acting normal but quietly working on vast secret projects – building an ark in their suburban garage or citizen crime solving via zealous examination of digital micro-clues. Hypnosis and/or Annunaki sex magic – yes, they subscribed to the ten-set encyclopedia – are just side-hobbies.


Road-trippers at heart, they have the soundtrack and the wheels: or they will when they have completed their latest financial acrobatics. Gary in Sagittarius people are great at pontificating on the beach or when in motion – they can’t think when standing/sitting still. They think every seagull is Jonathan Livingston.


Gary in Capricorn people aren’t boastful – they let the bling do the talking. Or their new networked thorium-motor coffee machine. Good at memorizing pertinent passages from popular success guides, they strive to advise and mentor those around them. Then they strut around high-strung and indignant at all the people now reliant on their input.


Asteroid Gary in Aquarius means you’re up to date on the latest UFOlogy and conspiracy hypothesis but it’s also the most likely Gary sign to get into control-dramas, the antithesis to Garyian consciousness. Friends are only receptive to their theories when they’re high – it’s an ongoing frustration but they work around it via multiple online identities.


No matter how high-faluting their work or aspirations, Gary in Pisces people are most comfortable in classic Gary-wear: acid-washed jeans, home-dyed hair or something obvious about their appearance that is the result of a recent ‘experiment’ and multi-purpose glittery gunk. Consciously or not they identify as ‘young’ and like to think of themselves as eternally ‘cool.’

113 thoughts on “Self-Mastery With Asteroid Gary”

  1. Hiya, My name is Gary ( Best Spear/ Prick ) Sun Gemini 7th house and Ast. Gary is 1st house Late Scorp asc. In Sag Retro as is my stationing Saturn Sag. I just hate all that Big Bass crap though. Not my thing. Gimmie Vivaldi Pederefsky Allman Bros Art Blakey and jazz messengers etc. And I am quite the gourmet and maintainence man Gardener cleaner musician and yea…. ride all sorts of wheels under my own power. I rollerbladed 768 miles in year 2000 nyc quit Stubinville Ohio in year 2000 weighing only 88 lbs at 42 yrs of age. Eue is everybody you everybody or ONE if ya like O yea I do astrolgoy for 40 years

    1. Aries Moon to boot June 10th Judy Garlands B day and yes my life is like the Wizard of Oz… everywhere you go there YOU are and everyone you ve ever known. Yes there are rainbows almost everyday in Paia Maui where I now live outside of course

  2. “Fuq it” as a banishing spell 10000%

    Gary is in my 7th house which would explain a LOT. However, I feel that Capricorn Gary would be into a DIY custom rebuild for his 1976 Dodge Charger? (Although I’m sure he’s tinkered with a thorium motor coffee machine from time to time..) Gary rarely needs coffee. He runs on unreconstructed male pheromones and UV radiation

    1. Berocca is Gary’s coffee equivalent, a swill of that nuclear orange fizz first thing in the morning being the perfect cure for hangovers & pick me up. It’s one of Gary’s few concessions to health care. Second only to CBD oil, which has now become a panacea for all ills.

  3. Ah ha! I’ve checked my extended chart and confirmed I have Gary in Virgo, right near my moon, not far from my Sun in Leo. Surprise surprise my Cap lover has Gary in Capricorn, right near his Sun. Both aspects make sense!

  4. I have Gary right on my Sunโ€™s tail in Aquarius! *insert Uranus joke here*
    I can attest to being up to date on conspiracies and seeing my friendsโ€™ eyes glaze when I have a theory to explain the shadow of every collective topic brought up. ๐Ÿ˜ and yes, politicians are puppets, canโ€™t tell the difference between them and their โ€œbeliefsโ€.

  5. Off topic: I just wanted to express what has been on my mind lately. I have been feeling the need to be quiet especially in speech as I am feeling that my words hold a lot of energy and I need to choose to wisely. Also I lose a lot of energy this way.

    I am feeling a lot of internal transformation and being in my head doesn’t help this process.
    It feels Plutonic and something to do with my north node Taurus season starting now.
    I will probably pop in and out with emojis and little comments.

    See you on the flipside.


    1. You know being able to express yourself is a beautiful thing in itself, identifying youโ€™re experiencing change instead of punishing those around you shows a highly evolved person Wish!
      Plutonic anything is transformative on its own (Iโ€™m year 1 in Pluto sq Pluto transit and my whole life/being/purpose is in metamorphosis) but then add the north node you could be tapping into newly acquired energy direct from the source! You may need to revisit your auric cleansing to protect yourself, especially while youโ€™re so receptive โœจ

      1. Thank you SO much cc. The part about the North Node rings very true.

        Best Wishes with your transformation.

        ๐ŸŒŸ ๐Ÿ’– ๐ŸŒŸ

        1. My absolute pleasure! I know first hand because I have natal Pluto trine NN and itโ€™s a deeply instinctual aspect. A knowing. Youโ€™ll be fine, just respect the changes and enjoy your fresh new perspectives ๐Ÿค

  6. Gary in Virgo (no other Virgo placements) in the 5th house… I guess it makes sense that computer programming has sort of become my main creative output lol

    1. Umm peeps – there is an asteroid Sharon, number 3694 and GET THIS she is currently at 19 Cap – Gary is at 15 Cap!!! Perhaps they are the bogan equivalent of Psyche and Eros

      1. LOL!!! …. But Holy Fuq! Shaz & Gaz will be getting it ON at the same time that Venus, Mars & Pluto will be all over each other a couple of degrees away – CONJUNCT MY IC-SHARON! …. *rushes to drinks cabinet & checks for Fluffy Duck ingredients & kahlua*

      2. Oh lord. As if I need more crap squaring the schizz in my first house. Bogan Psyche and Eros, indeed! Good lookin’ out, Chrysalis!

        But what does Sharon connote? Is she like a Karen but with more hairspray? Is she the Oz version of Tina in “Living on a Prayer”?

  7. What a playful exploration of this asteroid! I remember when it first graced these pages that Mystic had a cliff diver named Gary as its expression. This put a big smile on my face!!

    1. Yes!! Gary Hunt the world champion cliff diver who’s afraid of heights – last seen a few months ago in France at a world series event in lurid scungies with “budgy smuggler” written on the bum. Class act.

      1. Wow. This american would like to thank all in this thread for 10 minutes of sheer googling delight. Not to mention a useful vocabulary lesson and a burgeoning crush on Australia.

  8. off topic, but great news re the may lunar eclipse in scorp ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿฆ‚๐Ÿฆ‚๐Ÿฆ‚

  9. Every time I read about Asteroid Gazza, I legit hear Jon Bon Jovi’s “SHOT, dooowwwnnn, in a blaze of glory…” song start wailing in my head, lolz.
    Enter the Vertex Cappie Gazza in mine (well, 3 degs off). Broadly square my exact Merc-Pluto Aries-Libra opp. So maybe he really is a “Mr Catch-Me-if-you-can”, ha. Dunno if my Gaz-return will bring much, but I DO know i need several new (2nd hand) pairs of jeans AND that hubby’s Gazzie is conjunct my Jupiter – it must be double-denim twinning time, cowboys..

    1. Nice to hear from you Earthstar ๐ŸŒŸ
      I just watched Catch me if you can this weekendโ€ฆ I could imagine a Gary in Capricorn having a love of Pan Am pilot uniforms and James Bond bespoke suits, like Leonardo DiCaprioโ€™s character has in that movie. That mix of status and โ€˜ordinaryโ€™ glamour should appeal ๐Ÿ˜‰

      1. Likewise, beautiful Calcifer. Xx It is the whole cross between Very Ordinary But Trying To Be Extra that makes me laugh!! (This must be me, but surely!!) Hope all is well post Merc/Venus/Pluto rx in Cappie for your dear XOO

        1. ‘… the whole cross between Very Ordinary But Trying To Be Extra’, this is exactly what makes me laugh too. And it somehow such a balm after all the heavy stuff that everyone has been through in the past few years…

          1. Oh, C – like, I can’t explain here, but the whole Venus retro cj Pluto through Cap has been a ride – a lot of complex ptsd ancient reflections, yada yada. Pluto has been trine-ing my Lilith point forever, too – and it has just made me re-locate to the moon, internally. Luckily my little family ground, heal and hold me – daily routines & their well-being become my mantra. Am incredibly grateful. So anyway – yep, crack me a tinnie, Gazza! (of lemonade, coz I don’t drink either – am soo Very Ordinary try’na be extra, mate…;-) )

            1. Wish Upon a Star

              Oh maaaate. Relocating to the moon, daily routines and loving routines is so gentle but powerful.

              It is inspirational too.

              Cheers !

              1. Thanks Wish X Although I have to say, I feel “inspo” is a big con – like most things these days, lol. I don’t think that’s Lilith talking either, just lazy cynicism on my behalf – but yeah – I guess there is power in vacuuming and mopping, if you turn it into a bit of “house-witchery” (MM’s feng shui points in today’s DM are spot-on – my family are so sick of All. My. Freaking. Bells. And. Incense. lol again..) Stay Starry Wish. X

                1. Oh Earthstar I appreciated that beautiful image you painted in your previous comment, I was in a small log cabin with a pot belly stove burning and there was a scent of sugar and spice in the air. Like cakes baking in the oven.

                  Hey as a Gemini I understand cynicism. .He is a bit of a demon that needs to be battled.

                  I love freaking bells. Especially on my clothes.

                  You are an Earth Angel. Follow your heart and don’t listen to the doubters. I’m not referring to your family. I’m talking about the dross we encounter sometimes that drags us down.

                  Stay above the fray like an eagle.


                2. Ha, Wish-in-the-dreamscape-log-cabin: I think it is you who has painted & brought the beauty!
                  Agreed – cynicism is like the worn-out and frayed security blanket needed to battle the real terrors in early life – same as being a judgy and imperial Darth Vader. Much harder (and braver) to be open and easy, like a Sunday morning. With you in the battle, is this Aries Sun.Xx
                  I feel for my family because my incense is not just pretty little sticks, but small branches of mugwort (Artemisium absinthium – which I think is more commonly called wormwood?) from a bush I planted near the front door, and which I only ever pick on a full moon (for max essential oils). I only ever light twigs to burn in a latticework ceramic pot, but it smokes – and smells – very potently. I only EVER do it when everybody is out of the house, unless there is a Dank-Energy-Emergency (i.e. bad news, qi vampire wafts, or – as MM said – annual flying star 5 has converged on a busy area of the house (hello, the centre?? Which my house already has natal earth 8, and which is now joined by the monthly 2?? I may as well place an anvil in the centre!!???)
                  So – I think I will go back to my old method for now, which is making hot floor-washes in saucepans with large twigs – just as effective – although I am still careful as the tea can be toxic to animals & humans. (Also, am leaving bowls of washing soda and bi-carb in hard-to-reach places to soak up any negative qi – another fantastic MM tip from Housewitchery mp3!)
                  And my bells are special – I bought them from Karen Kingston’s website years ago – made by the same Balinese family for generations, from 7 metals. As I stated, for emergencies only – cleaning with soap and water just as magical.
                  Sending lots of love and good energy in this crazy world. E.

            2. Sorry to hear you have had such an intense time during the Venus retrograde, Earthstar. Lovely that you have your small family oasis, though. Take care ๐Ÿ™‚

              1. Hi Calcifer, thank you – I only mentioned it by way of explaining silence of late – not to draw attention per se. I have got off lightly with all the fixed squares/outer planet action, honestly – and have a pretty unsinkable optimism – but this December/Jan caught me off-guard. Love all the humour and ladies (and gents??) here; will (re)find vocab soon.. x

  10. Original Scorpsta

    Hmmm – I got natal Gary conjunct Mars and Midheaven in the 10th. No idea what that could mean but I’ll confess to having broken three pairs of Bose noise cancelling head phones by sleeping with them on – each time was equally devastating. Most likely listening to Mystic’s Neptune sleep enducing sleepy tunes.

  11. How fast does Gary move? My BF is four years younger than me and his is at the end of Virgo, while mine is bang Zero. My brother, however, is three years younger than me, but his Gary is only at five degrees Virgo, so in that year, Gary was moving fast through Virgo. My sister, a cool five years younger than me (but only a year younger than my BF), has it at 11 Capricorn. So, four years later, Gary is still in Virgo, but then within a year he’s moved to Capricorn? What’s up with that? A quick look at the 3 -4 years older GenX ex-boyfriend roster shows Gary pretty much in Capricorn, but in 1967 suddenly in Pisces. (?)

    Anyways, maybe Gary placements can explain the connections within the larger Generation? There is definitely a feeling with my bro and BF that even though they are younger, they experienced, broadly, the events of the day at the same time and with a relatively similar perspective. And the older GenX boys did totally feel there was a difference between my age and theirs…70s kids vs. 60s kids maybe? They thought that we (perhaps Gary in Virgo) kids were the “international generation” — traveling everywhere and joining the Peace Corps, whereas they were content to drop out of school after spending five years in it never picking a major and swilling beer while listening to the ‘Mats.

    </obsessive Gary chart-mining rabbit hole>

    1. SheRat, this classic example of Virgo Gary at 0ยบ (critical degree taking it to itโ€™s zen-ith) should be study material for future students of astrology ๐Ÿ˜

  12. Well ,every seagull IS Jonathon isn’t it.
    Which reminds me of when i purchased the story at an airport bookstand to read on a flight. The flight was to Kashmir and so i read it by a pot bellied stove on Lake Srinagar looking out at snow topped Himalayas.
    And the Pegasus flew………….

    1. Too many good comments to chime in on but I’m with you Pegs.

      In Saggo and I love me a road trip and good tunes!

      Beyond Mystic…and hilarious.

  13. Funny, funny and funny – I’m still laughing (while wearing my Bose noise-cancelling headphones) Transit Gazza conjunct my natal Gazza in Cap

    1. My dream ear casques, have wondered for eons if they were worth the outlay, and by the time it was decided they were, didn’t need them anymore.
      I LUV BOSE, if Bose was a man would be onto him faster than quick. Must be under the influence of Gary to write that statement ๐Ÿ™‚

  14. This post is one of the few things which have made me feel good this weekend! ๐Ÿ˜ŠI have natal Gary in Cancer in the 12th and can totally relate to what Mystic says about having a secret pact with the Moon/the Cat kingdom. Secret pacts with all kinds of animals and trees, really and perfectly relaxed with finding them right next to a local motorway. Iโ€™ll have to look in to dowsing, sounds like something I could have an affinity with ๐ŸŒฟ

  15. Lol I remember when you first posted about asteroid Gary, and Iโ€™m still not over Gary being conjunct my north node of all things ๐Ÿ’€ (in Taurus)

      1. I feel like this explains why I unironically love Olive Garden. Lmao. And now I know, this is apparently part of my spiritual path forward.๐Ÿ˜…

    1. Do Remember, and many ‘coincidental’ posts about that name- that’s not Bruce nor Trevor but GARY! A lot of synchronicities in those posts once it had been made aware of. It’s truly ‘it shouldn’t work but it does’…lol.
      Think we all MM members manifested the energy. We made Gary.
      Must be careful what we wish for…mmmm?

    2. Yes, when Mystic introduced Gary for the first time is when i started commenting here. Trans Gaz was conjunct my Mercury-Uranus back then & spoke to me for the first time – i knew in a flash i had found my spiritual interweb home. Here there was none of that new age slush with virtue signalling, rainbow bridges & unicorn farts, this was real. This felt right.

  16. So good to see a post on asteroids. I think they are actually more important than they are given credit for. When something in one’s chart doesn’t make sense, I suspect an asteroid may be an influence there. And the feminine has better representation among the asteroids. Asteroid Gary in Libra here in the eleventh house.My lovers only number in the single digits, so obviously I am doing something wrong. Maybe I need to sleep with both the men’s and women’s cricket team.

    1. Wish Upon a Star

      The feminine has better representation among the asteroids. Definitely compelling for us gals.

      But don’t worry Gazza. One of you is worth 100 Greek Gods. Your mullet is your power. Flick it with pride.

    2. No way! Gary in the 11th volunteers for everything and is the sort of character people approach to obtain things, if you know what I mean.

      1. OMG I have Gary in 11H and both parts of this statement are true for me (never mind that I cannot help those who approach me, I’m still approached LOL)…

  17. Wish Upon a Star

    I knew it. Asteroid Gary in Taurus like my moon sign. The body is physic, and don’t I know it.

    Gary conjunct Venus. No shit. I just dumped a load of friends that are dysfunctional and drama queens. It’s complicated they say. Fuq off I say.

    1. Wish Upon a Star

      Gary is conjunct my Taurus moon within 1 ยฐ. 3rd house. Loosely conjunct my Taurus north node. And my node season is imminent. Gary will give me the fuq it impetus and propel me forward to my destiny. LOL !

      This has made my day. My next haircut will be a mullet.

    1. Brilliant post! So seems my Gary is in Leo and on top of my Sun, Mercury, Venus, and near Jupiter. So yeah, there’s that. Will have to double check as it may just edge into Virgo.

    2. Fuuuq am not looking am not looking am not looking, something cosmically afoot between Venus & Gary. Shall check the personals & get back to you ๐Ÿ™‚

  18. Gary in Asc Aqua one degree before Persephone. I can imagine him waiting at the entrance of the underworld for the goddess to reappear, โ€œhey chickie babe, how was your dark stint this time? Your mum is looking hot, as ever, wanna come and have some fun before I drop you off? You know plant some seeds (wink wink)โ€

  19. Gary in Cancer in the 7th (the apex of a t-square with my Aries sun and Libra Pluto), and yeah, I’m currently at war with Nordstrom for not correctly processing a return, so this was relevant…haha. Also felt the Libra vibe with the 7th house influence, but for reasons I won’t go into here ๐Ÿ˜‰

  20. Wow, Gary is in Libra and within cooee of my Sun (2 degrees or so) and so much of this description resonates with me. ‘…against pretension and prefer streamlined solutions to complex explanations’ bang on! I’m positively allergic to any form of pretension, it’s almost as if I have a radar for it. As for politicians… do not get me started.

    ๏ปฟLoved this. It certainly seems Gary is well relevant for me. Thanks Mystic for another piece to my puzzle ๐Ÿ™‚

  21. Mystic so fun!!! I love Gazza. In Pisces here aspecting not much but in the 11th so I do have some Gazz friends and love the persona. Too funny. ๐Ÿ˜‚

  22. OMG this is hilarious and so good. Gary conjunct my sun in Aquarius… and I just got off the phone with a friend, where we discussed all of my secret online accounts LMAO

  23. OMG, you’ve gone The Full Gary, Mystic! plus AN ASTEROID GARY EPHEMERIS!!! MA-A-A-A-TE! You’ve bloody outdone yourself here. Far-out, this is by far one of your best. Surely you must have a prominent Gaz in your own chart, or he’s conjunct one of your personals to nail him so well?

    Well, trans Gaz is directly opposite my Sun right now, & i’m sitting here having cracked open a cold one after just having completed a monster house move. The boss of the removals company we hired ended up offering me a job after i took over helped the team. And yep, Gary in Aries here (conjunct the SN) at your service.

    1. Skarab you were the first person I thought of when I saw this post!!!! A Gary ephemeris is the magic we all need right now. Hope your move went well, sounds like you aced it. xx

      Gary is on my moon rn and about to transit my Cap stellium like Evil Knievil jumping over a line of motorbikes.

      Natal Gaz in Scorp in my third house. My man has Gary in Cancer in his third house at almost exact conj when you lay our charts on top of each other, snigger. We bonded over double-denim radio friendly rock classics, despite both of us being outwardly much cooler.

      1. I’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, C, with your Gazza’s brains & my Gazza’s brawn there’s no end to the possibilites…

        Well, FWIW, my Aries Gazza’s advice to that trans Gaz line up you’ve got is not to overthink it. Not figuring out the physics of his jumps is what made Evel a legend. Doesn’t Cap rule bones anyways?

        And mate, that’s just pure romance about you & your man, smirk ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ

        1. Hahaha I can’t imagine Gaz overthinking anything, mate! Except maybe: do you put the milk in first, or the Kahlua?? ๐Ÿคฃ

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