I Was A Hot Leo Guy In Tech


No, this is not what you think – it was a temporary digital identity. And fine, critique the alleged hotness but Ted Griffin, my Leo guy in tech persona, was quite sought after. I learned a few things from Ted and I am about to share them – one of them made me surprisingly sympathetic to guys! (Note: Ted is a guy, not a man)

Fed up with futility on a platform I will call Uplancer, I decided to go with a male developer’s suggestion that I create a male alter-ego. So voila Ted Griffin – I don’t know where the name popped up from but I like griffins and it felt good.

Why Leo? It was intuitive. Ted has done some Jiu-Jitsu but exaggerates the extent of his training – even so, he’ll bust out some moves after a few glasses of something trending.

He still reminisces about the start-up he worked at which had a wood-fired pizza oven and backers so smashed on Space Dust that they let Ted expense his dubious work trip to research ‘software development in the Maldives’.

Adapting to the rapid tempo of the times, he’s developed a fluid set of non-committal phrases: “I’m excited by…” “It’s all about the firmware…” “I’m drilling more into the data” – even if he is actually just clicking to learn more about Christy Turlington’s wardrobe malfunction. This morning he was excited about Vivaldi for Android but now thinks it’s played out.

So what did I learn from my time as Ted?

(1) What Ted Said Went.

As Ted, when I described a task, the people bidding for it just said ‘yup, great, I’ll do it’ and if there was a question, it was to the point and sensible. eg: ‘Do you want the font to be 16px?’ Or ‘is by Tuesday okay?’

Whereas, as non-Ted (and I’m sure many women can concur), the frequent response to task outlines etc is “you don’t want to do it that way…” or “why are you doing it like that?” or “that won’t work.” Sure, usually after some tedious to and fro you get to the point where the uplancer or contractor thinks your way is great but it will be their suggestion and presented as a way to put an end to all the fuqing around.

This did not happen as Ted. What Ted said went.

(2) Ted Was Deemed A Potential Perp For No Good Reason

As Ted, I’d briefly messaged with a contractor who could not do the job on offer but said she had the exact ancient version of a spreadsheet program that was specifically now needed for a new task. So Ted zips into Live Chat support on Uplancer to say he/I was trying to get hold of “Edna K” and that the previous messages had been deleted, could they help?

Suddenly – bam – the screen is filled up with a gigantic notice about not hitting on uplancers, that it was a criminal offence to discuss or tout for sexual activity on the platform and so on. I’ve asked plenty of similar questions with a female digital id and never had a response like this.

At first I was concerned that “spreadsheeting” had auto-corrected into something skeevy but no, it was because I was Ted, a guy. Offended on Ted’s behalf, I asked the support person whether I – Ted Griffin – legitimately looked like someone desperate enough to seek sexual interaction from someone 10,000 kilometres away and on a business website.

Ted – who has Mercury in Virgo – nearly scorched his fingertypes composing a granular drill-down of the spreadsheet situation when the support person posted another totally unnecessary preamble about respecting humanity and closed the chat. 

Still number (3) cheered me/Ted up.

(3) Ted Was Assumed To Know A Lot

Looking at one of those live sites that showed the flight path/projected landing trajectory of the Chinese rocket ship making an uncontrolled descent, I forgot that I was on there as Ted and made a comment.  The comment was quite banal – something like “it seems to be going faster” – but the response from attractive-seeming women and even a few of Ted’s fellow guys was great.

“Ted, you seem like you know a lot – when is the NASA update occurring?” So I referred them to the Twitter profile of Jonathan McDowell, who is an astronomer and astrophysicist at the Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics with a special interest in satellites/rockets and a constantly updated feed.

No Ted, I want to talk with you about it. Are you a space engineer?” And so on.

Did Ted exude space engineer tech mastery despite the banal commentary or were the flattering people playing him? Is that why there are notices all over sites like Uplancer and others saying not to just send people money? Not that Ted would give money to someone just because they said they could sense he had a black belt in Jiu Jitsu or would he?

I have retired Ted now, although who knows, he may re-emerge but are any of these observations relatable?

30 thoughts on “I Was A Hot Leo Guy In Tech”

  1. I send my husband to get my car registered or even a quote for tyres. Otherwise they go over the car with a fine tooth comb, oh the wheel bearings are loose! BS you just put your big a gorilla weight on it, of course it’s going to move. A guy came to put a relay on my faulty blinker, an hour talking about how these cars are notorious for this issue, it’s going to be a computer fix but it’ll cost you we could try a relay, blah blah blah. Try the relay I said more blah blah. A male neighbour came and asked if he could fart and whistle at the same time? Relay soldered in. But the worst part was, apart from his hourly rate, he said and I quote, “ if it happens again the relay is $10 at Autoplace you could do it yourself.” Ffs

    1. I have some good friends who have transitioned and you would not believe the stories they tell, both ways, about the differences in which they are treated. One friend is apparently a better writer now, as manuscripts keep getting accepted with a male name — that were rejected with a female name.

  2. This is funny, but my Goddess it pisses me off too. How utterly shitfull that women get treated so differently when they present as a guy and so often are not taken seriously otherwise.

  3. Yep, unfortunately. My work BFF and I are a city engineer and city attorney for a large municipality in the US. Both blonde, blue eyed, Nordic types. The other day I watched a guy (not a man) attempting to install a security system on the doorway to our city hall offices. My BFF, watching (as the city hall facilities are in her jurisdiction as are roads and bridges) and offered suggestions on wiring. The guy made some sexist comment about having it under control and she shouldn’t worry her pretty head about. She and I gave each other the “suit yourself asshole” look and walked away. Guy had no idea who he was talking to. We enjoyed thoroughly his struggle.

  4. Literally four hours ago, I needed to get my motorbike towed from the North side of Glasgow to the South. My usual guy is laid up sick, so yesterday I found a good price (after being quoted ridiculous things like £150). I had to be on a bus/ferry/bus trip at noon, told him so and dude said they’d be there at 9am. Great! That meant I wouldn’t have to impose the task of the hand-off to my Lilac-Wine Loving Pisces former neighbor, with whom I had been crashing to sort the bike out. It’s to be sold on Gumtree and needed to go across through the Clyde Tunnel to my very competent and not-easily-taken advantage of Virgo buddy (a trade unionist Marxist). Both are dudes in their 70s. I told the tow company guy that if there was any problem with the 9am pickup, they’d have to call Pisces (gave them his name, number, address, etc.) and then, quite obviously, gave him the same for the Virgo. This was at 3pm yesterday. At 8pm yesterday evening, they phoned the Pisces to tell him they wouldn’t be able to get there til noon, prompting me to have to communicate this to the Virgo. Not sure why they didn’t think the person who owns the bike and is paying them would be the contact person for this info, but I knew from experience that motorbike boys will ALWAYS treat the chick as some kind of non-entity and talk to the man. I call this dude at 10:33 to confirm the noon pick-up and he is on some kind of speaker phone in his truck and the only words I can actually distinguish are his answer to my saying I can’t understand him. He yells “I’m DRIVING.” Okay, so, I understood THAT so why not talk like that the entire time OR just not take calls. He says no, it’s NOT a noon pick up, that he is on his way and will be there within the hour. He is not. He calls the freakin’ Pisces at 11:33, he says he’ll be there at noon, and this means the Pisces will be doing the hand-off. Why does he call the Pisces? Again, perceived vagina possession. I now have to update the Virgo. Dude THEN calls Pisces at 12:45 (late), is perfectly comprehensible, and reveals he is in EDINBURGH and will be there in an hour. Impossible. Now I have to call Virgo. When dude arrives at 2pm, he goes over all the things he sees wrong with the bike with the Pisces, who could give a shit less, and wouldn’t be involved in this motorbike crap anyways except they we late. THEN I am on the bus and get a phone call from the Pisces: Dude is outside the Virgo’s house, but “he’s not home” and can the Pisces call me and get my phone number for him so I can give him the Virgo’s number? Bitch HAS my phone number, I called him at 10:33.

    How did this brainiac even get to Virgo’s house? The phone number was included with the address, so if he doesn’t have the phone number, how did he find the house? Luckily, Virgo is sitting in his flat waiting. I call Virgo, and by this time we are amused and there’s the dude in the parking lot, with his thumb up his ass. Virgo goes down and dude talks Virgo’s ears off about the bike (Virgo doesn’t care) blah blah blah, is perfectly comprehensible and got paid and went away. Virgo no longer doubts me that motorbike mechanics are, by-and-large, misogynist pricks.

    Virgo also agrees that this all means it is WAY better for HIM to negotiate the sale of the bike through the various responses to the ad.

  5. This is the funniest thing ever! Interestingly enough, I do work through a freelance website and the more confidently I communicate and less bs I tolerate the more respect I get. Though, I still have to temper it a little as my picture is me and I’m a woman. The world is still enabling bros. Am I guilty? I do have a mad crush on an overly confident leo dude right now. Is it real or societal conditioning? I think we know the answer…anyway, this post made my day! Ha ha!

  6. I might change my avatar and username at work. This sux but highlights the stereotypes that AI will hook into (now that I’ve written it, if not before). Ted is actually a blank canvas as an image – slightly wrinkled chambray shirt, unshaved look, typical glasses, nothing too out there, so its all in the written language which as we know is intelligent, witty and sooo knowledgeable Mystic.

  7. This is hilarious and basically describes my ex boyfriend’s persona.

    His name is Todd- mars and Venus in Leo- a tech “bro” and black belt in jiu jitsu. Aside from indulging in his fantasies of vacations in Maldives his other past times included getting high on space dust and going to house music parties.
    And Todd is a real person that is actually his name…

  8. Sigh. It is sad to hear. I think women have gained much ground in the equality stakes but have a long way yet to go. I have a dream……

    1. Yes they do! But if they are truly Leo, like my friend, they will end up travelling the world and speaking on & training professionals in some kind of Hollywood-aligned Special Effects program. Each session will be a display of TedTalk virtuosity sans script.

    2. In my day it would’ve been tech marketing and sales. things have changed. San Francisco has been ruined by real-life Ted Griffins.

  9. MM, your image picks usually wow me into next week. But as a Leo, with a lot of planets in Leo, when I look at that guy, all I see is Virgo and a very organized sock drawer.

      1. Ted was selected to inspire awe amongst uplancers but yes his mercury in virgo is quite prominent.

    1. LOLL scented sock drawer 😂😂😂😂
      There is an undeniable raw element to a Leo man you’re right, but Virgo can most definitely add the meticulous nature to any placement.

  10. Yes, I found similar. My name abbreviated could be male or female so when dealing in environments – digital, email etc – I am often assumed to be male. You definitely get a different response.

  11. #1 and #3 is the default in any comtemporary corporate setup. I had a Libra Rising/Aries Sun/Cancer Moon boss of Pluto in Virgo generation. After getting pretty much ignored at an all-male, very white organisation, I made it my obsessive mission (Mars-Pluto-Saturn in Scorpio in 3rd House) to coach him verbatim on things to speak in meetings. I mean, I used to make him do dry-runs and take mock-meetings. It worked like a charm. Made me Hulk level mad about the unfairness of it all, but it worked.

    1. Agreed. I’d extend it to professional / service-related settings like home & auto repairs as well. I could be the one paying for said service and they will still speak to my partner as if he’s in charge.

      On #2 though – it highlights an observation made by some studies in VR about how “putting yourself in someone else’s shoes” can increase compassion and empathy.

      When (cis) men were given a female body in a VR setting (and then harassed) they had far more empathetic thoughts and remarks about what it must be like for women — vs. other (cis) male participants who got to keep their own (cis male) form in the experience.

      Something about embodying (physically or mentally) someone very different from you has been shown to lead to more compassion.

      Either way, sorry you had a lame experience, Mystic — but at least it turned into column fodder! And who knows, you could keep the alter-ego and maybe create an entire storyline around Leo Ted for future articles.

      1. definitely! after being ripped off more than once, I sadly resorted to inviting over male friends or relatives when asking for a quote. it drives me insane how they take it for granted that you don’t understand how a car (or a house) works

    2. aawww… thank you for what you did for him <3. as a libra sun/cancer rising/pluto in virgo woman, I so feel his pain. for an aries sun it must have been even more frustrating :*((( . my scorpio planets aren’t helpful in these contexts, but they come in handy when everyone else loses it.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *