Ghosts Of The Zodiac

We go on a lot about Feng Shui and space cleansing here but hey is it possible that a good basic knowledge of Sun Signs could help in ghost-busting or at least identifying them?

Think about it.

The Aries Ghost – Noisy, likes making loud thumping noises and banging schizz around. Would rattle chains for sure if there are any.

The Taurus Ghost – Creaky floorboards, couch creaking is if someone flinging themselves down on it, fridge opens and shuts.

The Gemini Ghost – Television turns on in the middle of the night a la The Ring, phone does weird stuff, lights on and off but ghost has such a short attention span, it can’t commit and goes off to also haunt your neighbor.

The Cancerian Ghost – Sighs, transmits nostalgic music and scents through the ether, quite likes the old-school touches like bats and flickering candles.

The Leo Ghost – the mirror constantly fogs up even though you think nobody is there. They also like to haunt landmarks, castles and Oscars ceremonies or theaters, even if only as undead fans.

The Virgo Ghost – Shit gets organized and moved around all over the place. Like you put something down and it’s gone – only to reappear later. Because Virgo has a system.

The Libra Ghost – The Sock Thieves – because if the socks don’t seem to match perfectly, Libra would rather start over. Leaves traces of perfume in the ether.

The Scorpio Ghost – The sexy ones you read about in medieval lit who try to pull even when they’re dead.

The Sagittarius Ghost – they fling open the front door, back door, any door.  Blasts of fresh air when everything is closed.

The Capricorn Ghost – they wake you up early – who says you can’t be productive after a “nightmare” woke you at 4.58am?

The Aquarius Ghost – Aquarians don’t haunt – you have to access their other dimension via something fancy like a particle collider or Tesla device. They will show themselves to cats on occasion.

The Pisces Ghost – Pulls fancy schizz like ectoplasm on walls and spectral wailing until they get a Feng Shui person down there or a hot exorcist that they actually might fancy or at least be able to talk to about their whacko theories.

Image: Casper the Friendly Ghost – Hanna Barbera

56 thoughts on “Ghosts Of The Zodiac”

  1. I love the zodiacal ghost guide MM. I’m wondering what a zodiacal guide to the undead LZs might look like? e.g.

    Aries LZ: deep down, he/she wants me to slay dragons for him/her
    Taurus LZ: deep down, he/she wants to feed me grapes while I sip on cocktails poolside
    Gemini LZ: feel down, he/she has no deep down
    Kataka LZ: deep down, he/she wants to look at my boobs all day
    Leo LZ: deep down, he/she wants to win back my crown

    And so forth…

  2. unconventional Gemini

    For yrs and yrs my telephone clearly rings in the middle of the night – but nothing. There are months and months when it happens frequently, then nothing for several years. It rang again about 6 weeks ago. I’m used to it now and ignore it. But weird! Then again I seem to be a transmitter of sorts, pick up on things no one else sees/believes until it happens some time later. Used to frustrate me no end when people couldn’t see what I saw. I now understand that it is a gift but it helps no one but me since others think I’m bonkers when I share these insights. That’s just the way it is. Still have no idea what the ringing phone means other than someone did die in this house before I bought it.

    1. Scorporation, Inc.

      Death in the house: yes, mine too. How old is your place & what’s its history? Mine is a hundred year old farm house & it has two doors to the outside in its “parlor” (what we now call the Living Room) because back in the day, the deceased were displayed at home, in the parlor, & one door was for mourners to file in & pay their respects while the other door was for them to leave. No funeral parlors back then & it was natural to die at home/have a dead body in the home.

      Ive smudged a ton of course & put as much positive energy in the place as i can muster, not that death weirds me out so much but a hundred years of lingering vibes is a lot of lifetimes piling up. But i have played around a lot with the placements of my living room furniture & have finally found the right spot for my couch: when I had my sofa against a different wall & lied down on it, an image & feeling of lying in a casket came over me that was not conducive to peacefully relaxing while still alive. Lol! I got it figured out now. 😉

  3. Ah, so my ghost is gemini. Now, please leave the TV alone!!! Though that doesn’t explain moving my shoes.
    Had a good laugh at the Pisces ghost fancying the Feng Shui exponent, so right.

  4. What a scream!
    By all accounts my humble abode plays host to a pet Kataka Ghost.
    Then there’s the flash in the pan, two-timing, moonlighting haunts of my Mr. Gemini spooker… That’s farkin hilarious Mystic!


  5. Ahh Mystic that’s some Genie-Ass schizz! Brilliant and hilarious. Fridge door for reals. Scorpio succubi lol!

  6. Blind Hypnostist

    My sister has 3 cats totally different personalities, (one of them has an awesome chart by the way, totally psychic). One day the 3 of them were sitting, lined up, staring at a mirror for around half an hour. Since two of them never leave the bed this was really odd. So was this a leo or an aqua ghost? And why do the aquas mess with the cats lol?

  7. I have or am definitely hosting Libran ghosts. My sock fetish is out of control.
    I can’t bear it if they are not rolled up in a certain way. The letters L and R have to unfold in a particular way and if I get two L’s or two R’s I am COMPLETELY freaked out and have to discard both socks to the laundry basket in disgust. Yes all my socks have L & R on them because I always forget so this ritual of putting the correct sock consciously on the correct foot at the start of the day grounds me. All my socks are either white or black and all by the same company. Is that weird?
    Single sock make me sad.

    1. Electric Eel Libran

      You remind me of a funny story. I have those Injinji socks that have the toes on them. They can ONLY go on one way on your foot. You can’t put a left sock on the right foot because the big toe compartment is a different shape. I made myself crazy on day as I packed on LEFT socks on a trip. SOOOoooo angry making.

  8. Aqua ghosts responsible for déjà vu trances or glitches in time/the matrix. And weird internet synchronicity/magic, good or bad.

  9. This is brill!! I think Saggi ghosts are the ones that haunt terminals & airports.
    (Actually I feel a bit guilty joking about this as ghosts are just people who went through something really horrendous.. #scorpmoonproblems).

  10. super cute. 🙂

    my regulars are saggos, but the one this last week and last night particularly- scorp all the way. 😯 moving through the fear…

  11. Cap Moon Ghost can’t sleep because of that movie The Grudge (less than 10 minutes). Totally shitscared Cap Moon Ghost vows never to sleep again and will do a load of laundry and or dishes just to get shit done. Aka The Beastie Boys “No sleep till Brooklyn” Ghost. 🙂

    Sag Ghost – loves to rattle plates and leave things open or left out over night.

        1. Electric Eel Libran

          could be! Although it would depend on what the essay is about too! I could see a Cancerian ghost hiding a personal essay.

    1. Could be the Virgo OCD Ghost on a Mission.

      Clearly your going to need a Virgo to watch over the Lost Sock Vortex Department.

  12. Laughed myself to tears reading this MM, it’s brill!

    I suppose then that Capricorn ghosts are the ones responsible for pulling the sheets and doonas off of beds in the middle of the night! “Wake up you lazy **** it’s 3am, you’ve got shizz to do!”

    Leo ghosts will definitely be the photo bombs!

    Scorpio ghosts are like succubi and incubi, horny onto death! Then again, so could Capricorn ghosts LOL

    Sagittarius ghosts are nudists hehehe

    Libra and Virgo ghosts cohabiting the same property will cause poltergeist activity because they are fighting over the socks. One says to throw, the other says to catalog all the solo socks just for records.

    1. Electric Eel Libran

      yes! Libra and virgo ghosts are responsible for lost dryer socks. You know 2 go in, but only one comes out of the dryer.

      1. It’s either a Virgo or Taurus ghost that caused my mother to “lose” a beloved necklace halfway through a holiday overseas, only to discover it back at home, bunched right at the back corner of a never before emptied out linen closet 3 years later!

  13. Lux Interior is My Co-Pilot

    *tears of joy*

    Pisces would totally be the best wailer.

    Leo ghosts might sing? Or appear in film footage? Most likely to be photographed for sure.

    1. haha, made the same crack re: Leo ghosts above, before i saw your post. LOVE the idea of the wailing – or moaning! ha! – Pisces ghost.

  14. My grandmother, a strong, independent Kataka woman died today. She hasn’t been lucid in awhile and has been sick for many years. I hope she is at peace and no longer and pain.
    The yard bunny mother got killed by one of the yard foxes yesterday along with her babies, except one. I saw her, my loved yard bunny in his mouth.
    The one baby bunny, my cat grabbed. died in my lap last night.

    Death must precede ghosts……

    1. Have you heard of doppelgängers? They are said to be the apparitions of the still living person. Seeing one was supposed to be an omen of ill fortune.

    2. Oh So so sorry to hear of your loss, Catfish, and the dark side of nature too close.
      All must be very raw for you xx

    3. dear catfish, that’s a giant chunk of loss to smack into your world. sending you hugs and wailing and silence and so much love… xxxxxxxx

    4. Thank you. Yes raw and hard. I have had an emotional stressful couple weeks and this all just made me sob.

  15. The Leo Socialite

    Leo Ghosts are like Bruce in The Sixth Sense, refusing to admit they are dead and still trying to get good tables in restaurants.

    That nearly folded snow IS actually scary. Someone styled that.

  16. agree, Scorpio for the sexy ghost, Virgo rising for the system, cap moon for the nightmare that wakes you at sunrise to tidy the kitchen

    Do caps have a tendency to have nightmares?
    I’ve had them all my life and still remember a couple from when i was about 5, have crystals & stones in my bedroom to ward them off so i can rest.

    1. Don’t know if any particular sign will have more propensity for nightmares but having said that as a fellow Cap, I’ve had severe nightmares from a very young age too, all of which I still remember as well. And same thing, my mother had to set up wards in my room in the vain hopes that they’ll keep the nightmares at bay.

      1. Blind Hypnostist

        My girl is a Cap with other 4 planets in Cap and has nightmares often, so we might have something here. I, on the other hand, dont have nightmares since i was like four, but its probably because im a Scorp.

  17. Spot on MM for Leos. i think we would haunt palaces too and disrupt party’s or opening cereonines we weren’t invited to when alive. Maybe mess with someones hair at said awards night just piss them off.

    1. “and disrupt parties or opening ceremonies we weren’t invited to. Maybe mess with someones hair at said awards night to piss them off.” hahahahaha! leo-rising here — love it! so true. Just generally smudge the makeup and rumple the finery of our victims. 😉

  18. Funny you should post about ghosts just now MM, cos only yesterday overseas rellies put up a picture on FB of a clear silhouette in the doorway of their home dining room, taken when there was no one there!
    Maybe a taurean or Cancerian ghost, as it seemed to have a fancy 50’s dressing gown on

    1. I have a really great new white nightgown with art noveau style edges and I have been haunting fb a bit more recently.. 😯

  19. Scorporation, Inc.

    Ahahaha! Esp the fridge opening & closing biz LOL

    So my ghost is a Gemini– gasp! Gem with Virgo rising & a Kataka moon.

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