Rethinking Anna-Nicole Smith

Anna Nicole Smith represented the big end of Jupiter. Garish and totally over the top, the Sagittarius model and reality tv personality saturated the 90s/early 2000s tabloids. She was hot, decadent, and dramatic – she may as well have been made for the content-hungry infotainment media.

They were also incredibly cruel to her: the word ‘trainwreck’ to describe an out-of-control person (usually female) was originally coined for her, and she received an undisclosed payout from New York magazine after they used her image to cover a repulsive story called White Trash Nation.

She was born in Houston, Texas, with the Sagittarius Sun in the $$$ sector square Jupiter, the ruler of Sagg. It’s lucky but wild.

Every time she went to earn/spend money or even self-actualize, things blew out. She super-sized everything she touched. Think about it: she didn’t just eject herself out of a precarious existence by meeting a guy with a stable job or becoming the best-looking chick in hicksville.

She met a billionaire at work on the day of her Jupiter Return, they get married, she gains a ginormous boob job, global notoriety, diamonds, cash and a Guess modelling contract. Later, she didn’t just deal with disapproval from her in-laws; she was in fierce litigation with ruthless old money Quakers, an oil conglomerate and the tax office.

She Hooked Up With A Billionaire On The Day Of Her Jupiter Return

She was often portrayed as a predatory gold-digger, swooping in on the hapless oil tycoon widower to the horror of his loving establishment family. But J Howard Marshall was an Aquarius with a Uranian bent and he already had a penchant for sex workers/erotic performers.

As Forbes magazine delicately put it, “he was never afraid to push boundaries in his business or personal life.” Coincidentally both his wife and mistress had just passed when he met Anna Nicole Smith. The mistress – another stripper – died from medical complications after a facelift, creating a vacancy. Marshall asked his chauffeur to take him on a tour of the local Houston strip clubs at lunchtime, because his carers had him on a curfew. He clearly wanted to meet someone in the Anna-Nicole genre.

While he appears frail and tremulous in his later pictures, he’d been a billionaire player for decades and for her part, Smith claimed that Marshall was the only man who never spoke down to her. She did, however, opt to leave the wedding with her ‘bodyguard’ Pierre DeJean, described as a ‘big black guy with a disco stud style.’

From that moment on, it was if her life was scripted for hyperbolic tabloid scandal fodder. Yet beneath the synthetic glitz, she was not so much a melodrama queen as an addict seeking shelter – a survivor.

Her Moon Was Exact Conjunct Venus In Libra

Leaving school at 14 “after a guy beat me up,” she’d gone to work at a fast food outlet, married the fry cook and had his baby – a son she adored – before separating due to domestic violence.

A single mother and part time Walmart cashier, Anna-Nicole started working the day shift of Gigi’s Gentleman’s Retreat because the manager had deemed her too plump to work the more lucrative night shift. It was also, presumably, a job she could do while her child was at school so no need to hire a babysitter.

Her life had sucked up till then – a litany of poverty, apparent parental abuse and petty humiliations. As a child, she contributed to the family budget by sneaking into restaurants to steal toilet paper. As well as the big-appetite Sun-Jupiter square, her Saggo Sun trined Saturn in Aries: she was a hustler who never stopped working.

She also had Mercury conjunct Neptune in her $$$ sector: it bestows a massive imagination, one that is especially adept at visualizing the pleasures of wealth. The person can make significant revenue from their artistic creations – or fabrications – and in Smith’s case, the concoction was herself.

The raw material was there: she was Libra Rising with the Moon exact conjunct Venus on her Ascendant. Venus Rising in the sign that she rules is a classic beauty/sex symbol attribute while the Moon seeks connection and familiarity. Aside from her party-creature tastes Smith evidently trusted the wrong people.

At the time of her death she was trying to emerge from a cluster-fuq of hideously stressful scenarios: lawsuits over her repping a dangerous weight loss drug, tax problems, media-snark about her weight, the washout from a drunken live television appearance, a rumored tell-all by a housekeeper, and most devastatingly, the controversial death of her son Daniel from – probably – an accidental drug overdose.

Her Breasts Took Over Her Life

Significantly her breast implants – the ones that had rocketed her into the spooky infra-light of Playboy fame – had ruptured and were the source of non-stop pain. Her Midheaven was in the Moon-ruled sign of Cancer and she had the Moon rising. Both placements are symbolically linked with breasts and it’s insane but they kind of took over her life: she went from an A to an E cup, would have had a million men talking to her boobage rather than her, and endured five operations to try and fix botched procedures.

You could call it vanity but her career was reliant on them – there was no other possible pivot or not one that she could see. She was young as well as poorly guided when she had her initial operation and the brand she got were later implicated in a massive lawsuit. Even after she died, one of her surgeons – a big deal in the Houston tits economy/adult entertainment scene – tried to sell the two hour video of her breast implant operation.

Neptunian Nightmare Juice

Whether she suffered from Lupus or silicone poisoning, she was self-medicating with the aid of – it seems – an army of fuqwits. She died in a Neptunian haze in February 2007, lost in the swirling mists of conflicting, mirage-like semi-explanations and prescribed-but-not-really drugs.

Her 40th birthday beckoned and she had Neptune square her natal Mercury-Neptune, an astro-passage that would have been brilliant with a creative or spiritual outlet. Instead she had grief and chloral hydrate. Hypnotic and sedative, it’s like Neptunian nightmare juice – Bram Stoker’s Dracula drink. It was also the potion that killed Marilyn Monroe and Edith Wharton’s fictional heroine Lily Bart.

In a weird way, I think Anna Nicole Smith would have preferred to drift through to another dimension in the style of such iconic characters. Still, in a parallel universe she would have kicked the enablers out, gotten herself and the children into a cool place and revamped as a real housewife or as a candid tall-tale telling, lilkeable insta-personality.


22 thoughts on “Rethinking Anna-Nicole Smith”

  1. I’m so glad to see this compassionate take on Anna. I didn’t know her history, but I was a fan (if you could call it that). There was a brief period of time when I watched reality TV, and it happened to be when she was doing her show. Right away I recognized her as a lost, fragile soul, & ended up feeling very protective of her, and outraged for her. I was so sad for her when Daniel died, and then when she died all I could think was oh, Anna 💔…

    1. Have to add after reading the other comments that I’m happy to know so many people saw her as a real, vulnerable, human being & not just a ‘dumb blonde gold digger with fake tits’.

    2. I just reread this post and I agree. Mystic I’ve said it before (hopefully) but I love your astro informed and genuinely kind, and probably far more realistic, takes on public figures whose media image has veered off into wtf territory (no thanks to callow journalists and sharky news editors).

  2. genius and heartfelt and just wow.perspective and information on this woman I haven’t seen put together is such a graceful,loving way. Quite a tribute and lesson to us all on how we look at people and how little we know 🙏🏽✨❤️

  3. Anna Nicole’s life and demise made me recollect how entertainers of her ilk are adored/ worshipped and then vilified/ banished at the same time. She was in her prime while I was in college and my classmates followed her beauty tips (lots of bottle blonds on my campus and every lady with certain cup sizes owned a Wonderbra) yet loathed her for the unrealistic standards of beauty she seemed to emulate. Men had her as pinups but then considered her trailer trash or a gold-digging sl^t.

    I feel for people who made careers out of this. We often find they had to be exceptionally scrappy for life yet found a foothold in their beauty or sexuality. It’s not so much ‘oh, poor thing’ for me but watching whether their Neptunian (and Plutonian) energies take low or high expressions.

  4. Reading House of Mirth now. The chloral hydrate link was so intriguing.
    Lily Bart is such a loveable protagonist. I’m wondering what it is that causes such spirited charismatic women to knowingly drink poison?

  5. Also there is something about Texas women, the beautiful ones always seem to have this killer bone structure and jawline. Her face is so like…scuplted and chiseled even when she had more weight on her frame.

  6. Ugh, she was honestly such a pure soul in some ways, really sweet. I watched old episodes of her show on Youtube in early 2020 quarantine and it was almost like… is this ethical to film this person in this state? She was wobbling around and slurring her words. But still so endearing! Trim Spa, baby!!

  7. That is beautiful and cogent empathic reading of a woman who has been kicked out of the village. I am always up for the truth and this is an important part of it. If only we all had people we could rely on to tell us the truth.

  8. I love that you gave her this space and time, Mystic! She is a big fave of mine–I’ve always found her attempts to take the inheritance to be more in line with some scrappy class war than golddigger stuff. Bet she made their dad really happy.

    I have sun square jupiter, and I always think of Anna, Dolly Parton, and Joan Rivers as my Sun Square Jupiter guides–life should be big 🙂

  9. Very, very sad. And how naturally beautiful is she in the “before” picture?! It is such a shame. I hope it was a happy meeting when she joined her son so soon after his death.

  10. So interesting I had just noted her Moon Venus conjunction the day prior to your post when I was researching this aspect.

    I hadn’t looked beyond that aspect but conjunct Asc and square MC puts might have some merging qualities despite the square or is that Neptune mist. Pluto/Uranus – Mars probably warrants some reflection too if my brain had anything left in reserve.

    I don’t remember much about her tbh but I do remember her. Saturn, for longevity, trine Sun?

  11. Adore her! 😍 she was a magnetic and vulnerable force. Such a tragic ending but gosh she burned bright ✨Thank you for this!

  12. I loved her then + still adore her spirit now. The low end (expansiveness beyond any inclination of limits) of Jupiter is so evident (as well as the high end) and that Neptune transit at her passing makes so much sense.

    1. Yes! I had a whole paragraph in this post that I took out as it was already too long but the gist of it was that I street viewed her old club and it was haunting. A monolithic 80s stucco mausoleum-style building on the side of a major highway: I had this vision of a young ANS ricocheting around Houston with her Moon out. They called it Silicon City for a while and a cabal of docs who were regular ‘gents clubs’ patrons were also pioneering now-illegal polypropylene implants as these girls bosses urged them to become more ‘marketable’ right in the middle of a financial crisis – it’s dark. In a weird way, she was like the lightning rod for multiple 90s themes – opiates, amphetamine abuse to meet the ‘ideal’ body type, the normalization of cosmetic surgery, financial abuse etc…She also had a spectacular grand earth trine – Mars in Capricorn trine Uranus/Pluto in Virgo and Lilith in Taurus. It would have kicked in if she’d made it to Pluto in Cap.

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