Weekly Horoscopes from September 17 2022


Few understand the remarkable intricacy of the Virgoan procrastination process. Idle scrolling and televisionary trance sessions are for novices. You go straight for micro-niche projects or solving a suddenly urgent dilemma. With Mercury Retro in your $$$ sector this week, you explore more of your financial galaxy – the black hole of your budget etc – and come up with some fantastic, actionable data.


Reminder: You know that Mercury is Retrograde, others usually don’t. So if someone vaguely or even sharply adversarial wants to charge ahead with a delusional take on you or put something inane in writing, let them. Sept 17 to 20 enhances your real estate, family dynamic and homing instincts but ideally, use them for planning, not signing anything. September 23 initiates Libra season and Neo-You.


Time God Saturn reprises its irksome but productive square to Uranus and it stays in play till Halloween, aka Scorp-Fest. Think about the new data and wisdom you acquired in 2021 and how it streamlined your self-image, consciousness and communications style. Have you also integrated all this into relationships or is that persona still on a different version? Voila the most likely theme of this quantum astro finale!


September 22 to 25 is peak Mercury Retrograde mayhem and a hazy Venus-Neptune scene – think love triangles, psychedelia and time-warping parties or encounters. Therefore, if you’re after relationship or business clarity, aka tangible developments, move with the momentous Sun-Pluto synergy that’s strong till the 20th. It accentuates unusual affinities and enterprising tangents but remember: pledge nothing.


In-the-moment people or even those who speculate in the near future don’t realize the advantages of your deep-time thinking. Capricorns can contemplate vast tracts of time without wigging out and it informs your decisions. This talent also means you can realize a major goal by November: you just need to view your ‘now’ (or investments, culture etc) through the prism of 1988, 1999/2000 and 2009-2010.


Saturn and Uranus were at odds with one another over 2021, making it one of your biggest mind-warp years on record, even aside from the socio-political climate. Essentially, the tension it generated compelled you to merge your more saturnine traits – detached or even austere – with your uranian attributes – inventive, erratic etc. Also: ‘hippy’ with ‘tech’ sensibility. It pays off over the next five weeks!


September 17-19: Mercury repeats the opposition to Jupiter it made between Sept 2 and 5. And like the earlier iteration, it’s a big-idea swaggering influence. Your September concepts will be prosperous, even if you don’t have the bandwidth or operating environment to expand them yet. However, as you’re now dealing with Mercury Retro, say no to stream-of-consciousness messaging or negotiating by vibe.


Saturn stepping up again means that, socially, you may be stuck in a loopy holding pattern. It can’t hold indefinitely but you can ease it in the meantime by not flying into a snit over perceptions. Besides, Lilith and Uranus are sextile until October 5: no matter how nuts your local real estate market or how you see chez Aries at the moment, this astro could spring a surge of domestic and home ingenuity/abundance.


Venus in harmony with Uranus till the 21st re-activates your aesthetic acumen and DIY creative flair. It also intensifies an affinity, interest or attraction so weird that it’s practically an alternative dimension. If this qualifies as a vibe-stimulus or harmless life enhancer, keep it. The phenom must not, however, stop you from working the adrenal but abundance-generating influence of Mars in your $$$ sector till 2023!


Arieans love you. Mars in Gemini attracts them your way because – don’t freak – you are becoming more like an actual Aries person. You’re accelerated, look hot in red, interrupt everyone and retaliate against micro-aggro in real time. This week’s Mars sextile with rogue comet Chiron makes the Gemini-Aries link legit: Team up with an Aries for mutual benefit and anticipate overtures from one in particular.


Sun-Pluto synergy (Sept 17 to 21) strengthens Cancerian resolve and relationships. You could even pull off a diplomatic coup or satisfyingly distance yourself from a quagmire. It’s also a reminder that the era that began in 2008 is nearly over: from late March 2023, you and your love life are in an entirely new phase. You’re already sensing which dynamics or people feel ‘new-era’ or part of the fading paradigm.


If you’re hankering after a bold, dazzling relocation and/or vocational revamp, pull up. Late October’s big-deal Solar Eclipse is more suited to this sort of thing and Mercury Retrograde (till Oct 2) is not the ideal time to push through with what might amount to a ‘weaponized whim.’ But this week is optimal for robust research of all options and crystallizing the wisdom gained since 2020 into a succinct strategy.