How To Be More Scorpio

Scorpios themselves are often baffled by their archetypal Scorpio sign traits. “I don’t have any of them,” they’ll sniff disdainfully, deftly concealing an incoming message notification from scrutiny.

Like ultra-rich people who ‘don’t care about money’, they don’t measure “sexiness” as a metric and couldn’t care less whether someone thinks they have sex appeal.

Superficial people calling them ‘obsessive’ is an omen they’re on the correct path. Note: In Scorp-O-Vision, practically everything/everyone is superficial. They’ll say they’re not new age or don’t believe in astrology but their desk is always aligned to Betelgeuse or they have the Necromonicon downloaded onto their phone.

Read on for more Scorpionic traits.

From an early age, Scorpios are aware of a primordial energy source that they can tap into via that very same emotion that non-Scorpios deem ‘obsession.’ This same Plutonic Swamp Water enables them to quickly perceive covert activity or dead-energy-fields where someone has locked up a secret and thrown away the key. Not that they’re suspicious. Like Cedric Bixler-Zavala (Sun, Venus + Mars in Scorpio), they think paranoia is a hallucinogen. 

21st Century Scorpios are proud of their emblem, the Scorpion. Never mind the ‘phoenix’ or ‘dove’ aspects, whatever: Scorpions are where it is at. These desert creatures are able to control their metabolism, custom-blend their venom, and stay submerged underwater without stress for over 24 hours. They have a fluorescent component in their exoskeleton (think armor) which means they glow neon under ultraviolet lights or Full Moon rays.

The Scorpion species is 300 million years old and was probably the oldest land-dwelling creature. In awe of their survival skills and magical traits, the ancient world revered them. Sacred scorpions were kept at the temple of Ishtar and Serket, below, was the Ancient Egyptian Scorpion goddess. Her disciples were healers, specializing in bone-setting, antidotes to poison, and curse removal.

“I’m basically a witch,” says New Zealand musician Lorde, sporting a skeleton necklace and citing Bowie as a spirit guide.

Enraptured by complexity and drawn to the depths, Scorpios are religious. They’d probably prefer to say that they are ‘spiritual people’ but that sounds too flimsy, a bit gerbera. They’re not Serenity Signallers and they don’t engage with anything unless they completely understand it. Religious is a better word for their passionate exploration of undercurrents.

Scorp musos like “I’m all about Pluto” Bjork, Frank Ocean, and Anthony Kiedis are more Metaphysical Shamans. Their eloquent takes on taboo topics light the way for more timid souls. People talk about Sagittarians being outspoken but nobody is more direct and fearless than a Scorpio who has engaged. Eg: The academic and activist  Ayaan Hirsi Ali. See this Vulture magazine interview with Thandie Newton talking about sexual predators, sexist scripts, and specific racism for another example.

Scorpios don’t court controversy; they’ve got a long-time thing going on with it.

Aside from the obvious Goth themes, the Scorpio aesthetic can be difficult to define. Sunglasses, yes. Black? Not since Saturn in Capricorn. That color intensifies Saturn/Capricorn energy which can be good for career and focus but Scorpios have had Uncle Pluto in Capricorn since the G.F.C. Enough was enough.

The designer Rick Owens, who says he is inspired by “death, mortality and utopia” hones his creativity with cold showers as well as “chain-smoking in bed and watching old movies.”

For archetypal Scorpio inspo, read Super-Cannes or High Rise, by the triple-Scorpio surrealist J.G. Ballard. When a publisher rejected his novel Crash, suggesting that he seek psychiatric help, the author was thrilled, seeing it as a sign of artistic success.

Or, read your dream diary religiously, a la Ryan Gosling. That’s your hotwire to the meta-realms, whether or not you’ve got Scorpio privilege. FYI,  Gosling has hired fellow Scorp Charlie Kaufman to adapt The Memory Police, by Yoko Agawa, a novel about a dystopian surveillance state that Ballard would have loved.

You cannot simply become a Scorpio – it is a metaphysical state, although Pluto transits will approximate la vie en Scorp fairly well, as well any 8th house action – natal or transit. As for Scorpios, they become more scorped up with every transformation or dive into their esoteric depths.

Thoughts?