The Avian Love Guide

If you have mating or dating problems, could they be because you’re looking for love in the wrong flock? The Avian Love Guide first popped up on here years ago – this is an updated and extended version of the concept.

Just as birds demonstrate a broad array of romantic and relating styles, so do humans. Could you be the human equivalent of a swan trying to mate with a budgie? Or could you be trying to apply parakeet logic and values to a love interest who is really more of a hawk?

Read on to discover which avian love archetype you and your partners – past, present, potential – most resemble. It may add a deeper – admittedly weirder – dimension to your understanding of your choices or the dynamic.

Additionally, can you see any astrological similarities or resonance?

HAWK: Resolutely solitary birds, hawks are often more attached to their nest than they are to any partner or flock. They perform spectacular aerobatic mating rituals to wow a partner but the next mating season will find them solo or seeking a fresh love interest. They avoid the group dynamic unless there is a distinct advantage, such as when they are migrating. Even then, they will not travel with the same group the following year.

BUDGERIGAR: Commonly known as ‘budgies,’ these birds do not like to be alone and chatter constantly. They often display courtship behaviour – beak touching, cooing, fluffing up their feathers, preening etc – when they are not that interested in mating, as such. Aside from being flirtatious, budgies often flip gender roles – at least as described by orthinologists – and are more likely than most birds to be bisexual.

PINK FLAMINGO: These elegant creatures are monogamous but consensually change partners every year, coming together in an elaborate group ceremony to select a new mate. It seems to involve elements of performance, posing and dance, with the most gracious or agile pairing off. If they didn’t already have their chic pink feathers, you can bet they’d add a fashion component as well.

RAVEN: While ‘affairs’ are not unknown, most ravens are monogamous and mate for life. They’ll fly together for fun and leisure, as well as to patrol their turf and aggressively back their partner in any dispute. Their nests are large and messy but creative – ravens are smart, resourceful and brilliant at acquiring useful components for their nest. If something untoward occurs to their partner, the remaining raven will usually abandon the territory, never to return.

PEACOCK: Appearance-wise, peacocks have the widest divide of the animal world. The male has dazzling coloring and the iconic huge tail, while the lady ‘peahen’ is more muted. Male peacocks are also polyamorous, getting as much mating action as strutting and shaking their tail feathers can secure. They do not help with nest building or looking after the baby peachicks and the peahens often live alone or with other peahens.

SPARROW: These fluffy little brown and silver birds have a surprisingly complex relationship structure. The females prefer multiple partners and their partners go to great lengths to prevent them straying. Unusually, the males acquire a nest by themselves and before mating season – it’s part of their mating strategy. Unmated sparrows live with couples to help with finding food or chick-rearing and if a sparrow loses a partner, they re-partner within seconds.

MAGPIE:  Magpies mate later than other birds and some not at all. The male makes little effort to ‘win’ the female, who builds her own nest and raises offspring herself, but he will vigilantly defend the territory and that in itself is seen as desirable. Male magpies also supply food to any magpie who is nesting with – possibly – his chicks. The mother and female chicks often have a unique bond, with some female magpies staying in the nest indefinitely.

HUMMINGBIRD: Female hummingbirds are fussy and often reluctant to mate – they prefer food to copulation.  Male hummingbirds fight each other and pull off death-defying, dazzling stunts to get laid. After a quick mid-air coupling, they part and never speak again. The female creates a clever, often unique nest (an unusual location or found materials) but it’s flimsy as she doesn’t like to stay in one nest for long. The chicks need to match her speed.

SWAN: Swans mate for life and are not only monogamous, they screech and attack interloper swans. They’re the most outwardly affectionate birds, frequently touching beaks, mirroring one another’s movements and enjoying long mutual eye-gazing. Their courtship is lengthy and often involves extended phases of swimming alongside one another without acknowledging the other swan’s presence. About 14% percent of Swans form same-sex pair-bonds.

WOODPECKER: The male woodpecker uses his titanium-strength beak to make a loud drumming noise instead of a mating call. Both genders are aggressive and their mating ritual is classified as a ‘threat courtship’ – they try to knock one another out of the sky before – possibly – copulating. As female woodpeckers often prefer multiple partners and nests, many of the males ‘share’ her with a brother bird as an incentive to stay.

WREN: Wrens mate for life and put a lot of energy into their nest + chick-rearing but they’re never faithful. The wren that is not in the nest at the time is more likely to be out seeking another mate or in someone else’s nest. Female wrens select the mate with the highest social status, brightest plumage and best nest – he will mark out many prospective spots and if she selects one, they mate. Wrens also like to decorate the nest with flower petals.

CUCKOO: Cuckoos never form mating pairs but try to take over the stable nest of another bird species, replacing their eggs with those of the cuckoo’s. It means they can breed more and without having to parent. Horrifyingly, their eggs mimic the appearance of the ones they’re impersonating and the child cuckoo will destroy whatever is between it and the host parents struggling to feed it. They’re aggressive loners who nonetheless seek multiple partners.

PARROT: Like the Swan, most genres of parrot mate for life and are extremely affectionate – eg: the classic Love Birds. They’re nuzzlers and some of their bonding rituals include holding one another’s claws – like holding hands – and regurgitating food into one another’s beaks. But unlike swans, their courtship rituals are screechy, loud and unsubtle. They’re also creatures of the flock and will opt for the benefit of the crowd – or the pecking order – over their partner.

EAGLE: Eagles are super-loyal and will usually mate for life. Both genders seek nests in high places to wow prospective mates and make it harder for predators or threats to reach them. They’re sexually flamboyant with mating rituals that involve aerobatics, locked talon tail dives, mock death spirals and roller coaster racing one another. Unlike some birds who only live together during mating season, eagles are nest-centric – staying in the same one for years and adding on.

I don’t have time to do more birds but…thoughts?  If the comments below look odd, it’s because they’re from the initial version of this post. It’s reposted and updated by popular request lol!