For someone so into simplicity and personal integrity, you sure attract a lot of cryptic characters. Sagittarians ostenatiously disdain ‘game-playing’ yet love puzzles. But if you’re sick of dating or mating with human versions of Rubik’s Cube this week’s astro can help. Venus is conjunct the Galactic Center in your sign, signaling a new, more spacious era of love. But first? Fakesters revealed.

It’s not like you to veer off-topic to regale people with niche esoteric intel or brazenly call out a bluff. But Neptune Direct is a turning point: it evokes the fishier aspects of Capricorn – your symbol is, after all, the Sea-Goat – your cool facade conceals dionysian witchery. In the face of this week’s mixed messaging and feral incompetence, default to deep instinct. Plan: Out-weird everyone.

Jupiter has three more weeks in your $$$ sector and yes, you can pull off an unlikely financial coup in this time. You don’t need more ingenuity, you’re loaded in that regard: maximizing this beneficial influence demands triage: Sacrifice fluff, clutter and rando cute concepts floating around. Jovial money largesse flows when you perfect the big meta-picture and embody ‘boss’ mode.

Paranormal activity this week is probably just you. Your ruler Neptune turns Direct and squares Venus, activating multi-sensory psychic receptors and long-gone Love Zombie scenarios. What to do if your sharpened psy-powers pick up on an ancient infidelity or somebody else’s business? Nothing. Divert yourself with the potentially rad business or career expansion in formation from Friday.

This Solstice, Jupiter returns to Aries for 19 weeks, developing promising scenarios that went A.W.O.L. around Halloween. A fortnight later, Mars Direct drives fantastic momentum. So don’t be spooked by mid-week’s Mars-hyped Full Moon in Gemini. While it aggravates any drama-dependent people in your orb and it may expose skittish colleagues, it’s a noisy nuisance, not a signal.

Time-saving tip for Taureans this week: Make an “I Told You So” auto-response for practically everything. Then again, the Full Moon – brewing from Tuesday but exact on Thursday – has everyone on edge, especially your money people and intimate partners. Be content with a self-assured smirk that implies inner peace from being right all the time. Handle $$/love combos with extreme care.

Contradictions and polarities don’t bother Geminis because they’re basically built into your operating system. But this week’s Full Moon in your sign could inspire others to weaponize them, reframing scenarios to suit their dull agenda or casting you as the guest star villain in a sordid drama. Mars Retro in your sign helpfully favors camouflage, stealth mode and high-end elusiveness.

The Saggo Sun opposes Retro-Mars from Tuesday to Friday, incorporating and amplifying the Full Moon. Expect a mind-warping merger of micro-tasking, soulful revelations and muck-raker reveals. Without the minutiae or having to cover for other people’s faux Zen slacker deficits, it would be totally your scene. Psychically, this week resonates with your evolution from March to May 2016.

You’re cruising toward a comeback around the Solstice but for now, your neo-Leo new seasonal offerings are still in preparation. Neptunian vagaries and an aggravating Sun-Mars opposition plague your week but these must not deter you from perfectly valid visionary goals. Time is not against you: it’s just that some people undervalue your time. Look languid, stay stoic – you will prevail.

Venus square Neptune as it turns Direct after 22 weeks of covert action is the finale of a long-running dry-ice indigo disco mist hall of mirrors extravaganza. Phantom realizations and desires that have been swirling around show their form. Can a dream scheme or nebulous romance be grounded in reality? Of course it can – you’re a Virgo. You can do anything. This is about the materials.

This week’s spontaneous image morphs or concepts for reach-out messages could probably be reclassified as a time-space anomalies. Even if not, pretend they’re a kind of mood-malfunction and postpone. You’re in expansive mode but others could be seeking a target for snark or drifting in a deluded haze. It’s transient and the energy is more even after Thursday’s turbulent Full Moon.

Gaslight is good for concealing things but it’s not particularly flattering. You wouldn’t need it unless you were in a film noire or managing seances. If you have become enraptured with a shady character who deploys it anyway, it’s apparent within days. While this week is remarkably weird, stick to purely defensive maneuvers as Mars is still Retrograde and conjunct the Full Moon.