Vanadium Lightyear

Vanadium’s Mars In 4th House Problem

Vanadium Lightyear sometimes wondered if her at-home restlessness was a Mars in 4th house problem. She’d been raised by a Qi Vampire, leaving her with excellent self-reliance skills. But the residual ‘something’s wrong’ guilt persisted. Weirdly, her new cleaner Onyx – sent by Neptunian Life Coaching Services – was helping. She’d lost that constant feeling of having forgotten something urgent. But she was also wondering if Onyx was from anotherRead More…

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Find Your Next Paranormal Romance On Supernatural Tinder

Vanadium Lightyear had no idea how she got onto Supernatural Tinder. She’d done the Deflecting Karma Drama course, opted out of Ad Drones and was not even Diversion Dating. She was literally on there seeking a new partner, with realistic and sane expectations in the world of supernatural dating. Because it looked more or less the same as the usual Tinder app, it was only her Paranormality Alarm Monitor goingRead More…

Deflecting Karma Drama

Pluto in Aquarius was still years away, Vanadium Lightyear reflected ruefully.  Vowing not to date at all until then had made sense when she first set that intention. She had been being bombarded with social media, ad-drones and personal messages from her Space Dust addicted narcissistic vampire ex-boyfriend Ronaldo.  He said that he wanted her to go to his Deflecting Karma Drama course. But really, he just wanted to (1) makeRead More…

Vanadium Lightyear Has An Existential Crisis

Were pentacles a crypto-currency?  Was she solvent? Present? With a jolt of disdain, Vanadium Lightyear realized that she was entering a full-blown, epic existential crisis. She did not know if she could retain equilibrium until Jupiter in Scorpio, the sign of her Sun. She wanted desperately to move cities but could not bear to leave her neighborhood. Not even for a day. Besides, a move from Cosmopolis to Chronopolis demandedRead More…

Vanadium Lightyear’s Mercury Retrograde

Vanadium LIghtyear awoke in some angst. Her nightmare had been vivid and disturbing.  A Kardashian had passed and somehow managed to co-opt a reality television deal from the Afterlife. Or at least one dimension of it. Entities with influencer contracts and ghostly Real Housewives of Hades had permission to haunt subways. They could also emanate from television sets that had been turned off. She was already uncharacteristically melancholy.  Space ArcheologistsRead More…

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Vanadium Lightyear Could Not Wait For Uranus In Taurus

Vanadium Lightyear knew that Uranus in Taurus would alter her go-to zodiac plants. And that her un-rut process would start with the gut. Her Aquarius Moon nervous system could no longer stand her non-stop existential crisis over the industrial food system. But she could not maintain the rage without dangerously spiking her cortisol. Gastroenterology and its relation to gut instinct would be the next big thing, she decided. And fuqRead More…

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