Dating The Zodiac: Libra

Many of the mating and dating “complaints” I receive are to do with Libran guys.

“Passive-aggressive” and “manipulative” seem to be the most bandied about critiques, along with the obligatory acknowledgment of how charming and attractive these Venus-ruled people can be. Anecdotally, the women seem less problematic.

One of the main things people get wrong about Libra is to assume that they’re all mad for pair bonding. I mean, they are good at relationships and working in tandem with others but they’re not necessarily keen on monogamy. Libra IS the free love champion of the zodiac. Sure Gemini and Aquarius talk a good game about it but Geminis often like to have a key partner at home to “manage” things and Aquarius often prefers intense but non-existent affairs.

Whereas many a Libra is genuinely, at the base of their psyche, polyamorous. They’re rationalists and logically, why should their undoubted charm and grace be limited to just one person? As the Libran journalist Helen Rowland wrote, “marriage means giving up the attention of many men for the inattention of one.”

Add  the Libra appreciation of aesthetic stimulus and their disdain for tedious details for an idea of how difficult dating a Libra can be.  They are, however, relatively easy to wow: they’re scent addicts – yes, they will notice if you layer a high-concept fine fragrance – and they dislike fanatical-seeming opinions. Of course, anything outside of calm, measured, balanced and informed is potentially ‘fanatical.’

They’re also huge flirts and if you’re their partner, you can’t mind. It’s a Venusian thing and is usually not even sexual: they like to be liked and they love that exchange of mutual “wow factor.”

There is an array of first-hand Libra mating/dating tips in the comments that you may find helpful!

LavenderQueen is all for dating the Libra.

‘I am a Libra married to a Libra and I love my Libra man. I think we “balance” each other out well. He isn’t manipulative and you just have to point out that his passive aggressiveness is BS and he fixes it. The one thing he never does is make decisions.’

Akapluto reveals…

‘Ummm I’ve dates two Libras and I can’t disagree. One of them I consider a soulmate to this day but we couldn’t get it together because of life choices…even so I would still say he’s a total slut. Next dude broke my heart so hard I have romantic PTSD!’

Thoughts on Libra and dating?

Image: Ranbir Kapoor

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I dated a Libra sun with an Aries moon and Virgo venus for two years. About a year into things my father died and he got all wishy-washy with my despair. I think he expected me to move on from it quickly and as a result, kept one foot on one side of the door and the other outside. Eventually I pushed him on out, but was shocked to find out a few weeks later he was probably already seeing my neighbor at the time.


I live with a Libra who has the sun plus 4 planets (Sun, Neptune, moon, Venus, Mercury) in Libra, for a total of 5 in Libra. All of that is in the 5th house. Ascendent in Gemini. Jupiter exactly conjunct his MC. His life purpose is to have fun. His definition of fun. So any person or any occasion attracts him if he thinks its fun or exciting. Any social occasion is a celebration. People love him. He’s popular. He’s very handsome. He’s always perfectly dressed, if not overdressed. He has lots of friends. Everyone is his “good buddy ……”… Read more »


Thank you, Arienaquacancer.


I cannot help myself but add to the Libran male description- just went to the amazing criminologist/ psychologist (yes helping me recover from said libran)and cautiously brought up astro …she strongly stated that there seems to be a preponderance of libran males popping up on the domestic violence perp profiles…anecdotally…..jaw dropped…


Hmm…rings true, I’m married to one, with Capricorn rising Aries moon and everyone tells you how easy going they are ! agreed outwardly,
but the silent manipulations….


Libra men…I have a Libra brother who looks quite a bit like the photo illustrating this blog post. Currently dating a Saggo with Mars in Libra, last year I dated a Cancer with Mars in Libra. They both do/did this periodic withdrawal thing. I’m getting used to it, although it really bothered me at first (I am an Aries with a Cancer Moon and Venus in Taurus, which may be why I think the relationship is over every time the Mr. in question gets distant). I will say that the periodic withdrawing that I’m attributing to Mars in Libra is… Read more »


Thank you for sharing this. I’m going through this with my current guy who has sun and four other planets in Libra and it’s very confusing.


I’d like to add libra seems perpetually adolescent to me… like Archie Andrews with hearts in the eyes blooming in the vicinity of every betty and veronica in radius. but obv 1000x more more handsome/suave, like where it’s the legit the women would be fighting over him.


Oh yes, finally the libra-poly connection! My boyf is a libra rising/venus and we had the whole open relationship for a while (he tried to convert me) but i didn’t like it one bit (er, like a year later…). he thinks it’s his true path & is kind of evangelical about it. His venus is in the 12th with sun conj neptune so ‘spiritual polyamory’ is his jam. He’s a scorpio sun/merc and fixated on every beautiful woman in existence + mega Love Zombie. It’s profoundly frustrating to my aries moon (gotta be #1, yo!), but I get it on… Read more »


Libra men dont hug tight. No depth in their hugs ????


I’ve noticed this too … even have a Libra moon friend who hugs lightly.


c’est vrai… a light touch seems to be their speciality

Prince Stolas

Ha! Looks like my ex-Aqua-Toro’s apt! no condiments in the fridge! There were like ice cubes and frozen chicken breasts and pizza.


That was me…


Try a libra rising, moon in gemini, mars in aquarius guy, omg good confusion…that’s also with scorp in venus and saggo sun…mental.


Someone pointed out to me once that they’re the only sign (symbol) of the zodiac that is represented by a machine (scales).
Every other sign is flesh and blood.


I am a Libra married to a Libra. I love my Libra man. I think we “balance” each other out well. He isn’t manipulative and you just have to point out that his passive aggressiveness is BS and he fixes it. The one thing he never does is make decisions. This can drive me a bit batty as he never knows what he wants to eat, drink, wear etc. I am glad I am decisive or nothing would ever be decided.


I dated a Libran Sun (Cap Asc; Tau Moon) for a whole ten months. It was THE single most challenging and soul-crushing relationship I have had to date – and I’ve had many. Ha! Never have I been with such an intense individual who consistently left me in tears after “disclosing” his liaisons and insisting I be “more supportive” of his “needs”. We were both openly polyamorous (me becoming so after meeting him and with his encouragement) but “committed” to each other – or so I was lead to believe. Within two weeks of getting together and he confessing his… Read more »


To stick up for Librans (moi Mars in Libra) I’d say our manic desire for balance is very a important trait. Balance in everything- life, that painting on the wall that is off kilter by 1mm, dishing out exact amounts of drink, my turn your turn kinda thang, You do me favour I will tear down walls to do you a favour back. Always thank peeps with a gift where appropro, Uneven anything i have to ‘fix’ or try to. Psychic sense of smell don’t start me. I could , in the winter air, smell snow falling in the NSW… Read more »


OK, so I’m a Gemini with Aqua rising and while there are other signs I am compulsively drawn to (Scorpio, Capricorn), Libra is IT for me as far as relationships. I am now with my 3rd Libra in a long-term relationship and couldn’t be happier….that song “3 Libras” by A Perfect Circle has special significance for me…even tho Arien Maynard was apparently writing about 3 Leeb women who broke his heart. Oops. I also tend to have a lot of Libras as friends, both men and women. While their wishy-washiness and what I consider an unwillingness to talk honestly about… Read more »


“Aquarius often prefers intense but non-existent affairs”

Coffee out of nose laughing.


I can’t wait til you get to aquas.


Yes! that comment had the same effect on me …hilarious but so brutally true.


me too! 😯

Ingrid Tosteson

Loving the comments…laughing at the nature of human nature is so healing after the absolute mind fuck, emotion warp, and deep soul felt amorous amazingness of my libra male experience. I err on the side of aquarius, yet have enough in me to stop the madness and want monogamous for the sake of clarity and the sublime trust necessary to go deep within and achieve special goals that alchemy can only unfold. Devotion is a two way street, and as such the paradox of libra is a conundrum my soul is weighing forth as I venture forth into another dream… Read more »


ooh, like.


That man has a juicer on the fridge and Gerberas on his wall. Nope. Nope. Nope.



Cannot IMAGINE dating a libra. Pretty boys turn me off and I am philosophically opposed to symmetry. The dislike is probably mutual tho – I have a super crooked jaw. And a family full of librans, and that’s ENOUGH.


Libra men. Charming. Players.


Well, I’ve had ’em all – all types of Libras with various combinations: the charming ones, the liars, the sleek, silver-tongued ones, the seductive ones, the uber cultured ones, the smooth, the conniving ones, the Cool, the enchanting conversationalists, and the passive aggressives. And some more, already mentioned above by others on this thread. And for the past 26 years, I have been blessed by the company of my Libra Sun/ Asc life partner. He is even more than the sum of the positive traits of any Sun sign. He loves me. He lets me Be and encourages me to… Read more »


“He loves me. He lets me Be and encourages me to pursue any dream that I desire – no matter how hare-brained”.

That’s interesting to me as my partner’s Sun is also conjunct my ASC and I feel exactly the same. Their Sun shining light on who we are in the world?
I have had other partners who said they supported me no matter what, but in action it didn’t feel so.


I like that – ” their Sun shining light on who we are in the world.” Our partner being our own spotlight (soft focus at my age :-l) – nice concept. And we theirs of course. Otherwise imbalance. So we should choose someone that shows us up in the most favourable light… doing a Marlene Dietrich when choosing lighting..


Honestly, I love Libra men! I have Libra Asc, moon, and jupiter and I find that no other sign is as considerate. Libras are so fair! And especially if I am living with someone, I need that energy or I lose my mind. I have never been able to stay with someone who didn’t have that energy in their chart somewhere. Moon in Libra men are the best. I don’t find them passive aggressive at all, but then again, we’re cut from the same cloth. A lot of astrologers say that the only true match for a Sagittarius is another… Read more »

Marie Hebson

I am madly in love with a Libran male – have been for over 30 years. I won’t lie, our early years were full of arguments, great sex, more arguments, then more sex but overall, he is my soul mate and our love has grown into this amazing, whole, soulful, wanting, cherishing, longing just to be in the same room with him kind of love. I am a cancer, true water sign. Not sure of what what he or I is in conjunction with, all I know is we work – and we’ve had many couples, friends, relatives, co-workers state… Read more »


The air signs in general don’t like messy stuff and project onto others. Especially wounds, needs, hurts. It is never ok to hurt someone. Hurt peeps hurt peeps. Libras run/hide from wounds by evaporating and recreating a persona- it’s like trying to hug a cloud. Many abused women I know were Libra because they maintained the Stepford Wife veneer. And didn’t want to risk censure or the blame/judgment. My observation re abusers- male and female- They perpetuate the top- down dyads- right/wrong, powerful/weak, worthy/naff. Low Libra glosses over everything, then the masks fall off and whoa. Being alone with feelings… Read more »


“Libra IS the free love champion of the zodiac” – Agreed, but ONLY if they have Neptune in Libra conjunct their Sun. Neptune = no boundaries. Or Uranus – that’s another one that screams “free love”. Neptune was in this sign from late ’42 to mid ’57, and the “flower children” born during this time came of age during the 60’s when this concept was a Big Deal. Uranus was here from late ’68 to late ’75, and the explosion of Free Love from the late 60’s to early 70’s in particular is pretty self-explanatory since this is a planet… Read more »


And this. thank you.


Yep. Gotta consider the whole picture.
I’ve known Libra for a while. Didn’t stray in the flesh, for sure. Superficially charming and ready to hop up and get you a cuppa, but with a Venus in Scorpio, wasn’t much for free love. Terrified of the deep.


Libra is in love with love. And beauty. Period. I don’t think it’s so much a case of innate poly tendencies so much as this. All the Leebs I know are pair-bonded in one respect or another – it may be their Bestie, it may be a Significant Other, or a biz partner, but the Leebs I’ve always associated with are all about companionship in one format or another. I think the surest way to repel them is to be self-centered, so perhaps if our Libra is drifting away we might examine this possibility. A lot of times, once we’re… Read more »


I agree so much with this.


agree too. Nice expression LV. We want everybody to play nice and be nice to each other.


Just wanted to say I’m dating a libra and he’s one of the most solid and genuinely nice people I have ever met. Needy? Yes, might be both value alone time too. I am a Scorpio with Taurus rising and he has Capricorn rising, which I think is am interesting combo on his part. Thoughts? Again, it’s early days yet but my gut is saying nothing but good things.


Libra men are my weakness … As memory serves me, there have been 2 robust connections (possibly more, as I haven’t been an astrofiend my entire life) My first Libra (Leo rising/Kat moon/Venus+Mars in Scorpio) and I had a 2 year thing. We played house for a while and watched his friends couple up/get hitched for about a year. One day, after realizing he’d never verbally expressed his affections – I asked him how he felt. He told me he didn’t feel anything different for the mailman, this mother, or me. I promptly moved out and never heard from him… Read more »


🙁 both of those stories are really messed up, especially #1. that’s beyond cold.


Thanks, R. … at the time, people told me I was acting too needy by asking for verbal validation, but his honesty really did some damage. Appreciate you validating the frigidity of it all … after this last Libra, I’m truly convinced they are incapable of empathy. Fairness/Balance? Sure, but only when it’s convenient or benefits them directly.


I don’t think it is needy at all to have a conversation about our feelings for our partner, with our partner!!! It is essential, normal, healthy, for better or worse (as they say)

And look at what you got out of it. Illusion busting. To say the least 🙁
Pi x


Can’t connect with a lot of the negative rap towards the Libran Man. I am married to a Sun/Mercury Conjunct Lib + Aqua Moon + Leo Mars for 15 years. Apart from being gorgeous looking, well defined physique, chiselled dimpled chin etc…Relationships are his number one priority in life, be it with me, our kids, his friends, or work… whatever… Extremely loyal and a seriously wise negotiator and diplomat. He does have some downfalls ~ lame bullshit which stems from fear of conflict, can be needy for intimacy and can out sulk anyone on the planet if he is feeling… Read more »


the way librans collect friends fascinates me and is a subject of my ongoing study. insta-posse. they are very good at it. I am not sure if i am envious, or just see it as Room for Improvement in my social life, at some stage perhaps, if it becomes a priority. thank you for reminding me of that trait of the Librans


I think I’m guilty of this but my explanation is: I love people!

And I really get off on meeting new people especially.

The downfall of that is the old tried and true friends get insulted when I’m more excited to meet new people. But meeting new people excites me, dammit!

Maria Padhila

Libra/Gemini rising and not only polyamorous, but I write about it. Despite my age and the odds, only libra guy was way back–my poetry professor. Looked like Redford with a broken nose and is the good kind of crazy. Had the gentlest breakup ever, like a diplomatic withdrawal, made it look like it was me, but I think it was because I put on about 10 pounds! He still checks in on my poetry blog sometimes and is wonderful. I like to just take people where they are. (The abusive stalker I had was a Sag, so so much for… Read more »

Scorporation, Inc.

Over the years I’ve had many long-term, endearing but strictly platonic relationships with Librans of both genders. Very flirty, very critical lot. Critical or decisively discerning, it would depend on many factors; constant balancing/rebalancing of the scales. Passionate always. All of that I can appreciate & have found many Librans I’ve encountered sympatico. My 7th house runs from early degrees Virgo to late degrees Libra + Pluto-Moon in early Libra. I’ve never felt sexual chemistry/attraction to Librans. Yes many of them tried lol but nope, I wasn’t feeling it. What Scorpio (with Aries in the 1st & MC + North… Read more »


you must be a seething mass of scorpio magnetism with that lineup, S inc. 😉 XX

Scorporation, Inc.

Seething mass lol! Then there’s my Uranus-Mercury @ 29* Libra/8th house… Like a beehive. “I’m sorry, but could you speak up? Can’t hear you over the bees!”


That’s cut-through communications right there … How is the dark moon and merc retro going for that? Oh and Venus too … -.-
:). Pi x


Haha. I am glad somebody has finally mentioned the polygamy. I feel this is the more natural way, mainly because I see the majority of people who are in relationships, especially the males almost having to force commitment to one person, many of them cheat or find stimulation from the opposite sex via another method. As a Libra I think I want balance and equality in a relationship and forcing the other person or myself to totally bend to the others or societies needs does not have it’s basis in love, not in my eyes anyway. I’ve honestly( and I… Read more »


I thought I should add. I would not go look for a polygamous relationship.

Ideally one on one connection would be wonderful but I want who I love to be happy and like I said I don’t think a large percentage of men want one on one relationship.


Oh yeah. What the others said about sex. I can’t/don’t enjoy sex unless its the higher type. My mars is in retro which makes my sex life resemble that of a dead dried frog who is only now active in heaven.


SuperLibran, yeah that’s what my saggo yoga teacher ex used to call me. I have 5 planets there including Venus, mars, Pluto and Uranus.. So you could say the Saturn transit was a bit of thing, it was the exact duration of the yoga teacher actually. I have Aries rising so maybe that’s why I don’t relate to the lack of action so many talk of, but yeah lower vs higher vers can make a huge difference. The poly thing doesn’t resonate with me either. I just want the one deep connection, of course I’m happy to appreciate beauty from… Read more »

Circe Baby

Currently seeing a Libra Rising + Libra Moon angel. He is all about the free love. His dream business would be a lingerie company that only makes g-strings and offers a set of five for free for new customers, such is his ardent belief that the female derriere looks like a masterpiece in a g-string. But only if the lady pleases, naturally.

I have my Mars at 29 Libra so I am crazy for these Venusian types. I like my men feminine looking, fine and clean. Long hair is good but a good haircut is better.


I think I am in a polyamorous relationship with my Libran husband – he is also married to his golf (the first true love in his life and most lasting) lol


It’s interesting reading all of the above. I don’t recall ever dating a Lib male, but I do bat for the other team. Lol! However, with a Lib sun, Gem rising and Aqua moon, I am one of the most monogimist people you’ll ever find! Yes, I’m of the female variety, but I also have some lovely male Lib friends who are in very living, stable, monogimist relationships. I am told I am charming and charismatic and yes I am capable of flirting, but I am totally true to whom I’m relating with. I have never really understood how or… Read more »


Heh heh I’m poly and I have no urge to date more than one person…sex with another person is generally random and just a fun experience…but being venus/uranus in saggo I see no other way to be…

Multiple boyfriends? Hell no. It’s hard enough dealing with myself, let alone another person, let alone two! Agh!




Emotional hurricanes that go with bleeding and birthing??? What? My libra experience (which in no way represents all or even a majority of said sign given the three I’ve dated would not qualify for a true representative quota) was me walking on egg shells while libra man went through one emotional/ existential/ weather change crisis to another. Yes, there are mature grounded wonderful men born in all signs. See below for a comment from one contributor who has found a wonderful libra soulmate. But we often vent stories about the undesirable ones because it’s cathartic. And sometimes quite funny. Maybe… Read more »


Brilliantly said! And I’m a Gemini girl very happily living with my Libran soulmate. I have plenty of good things to say about you lot…will tell my tale soon.


The thing I most remember about when reading a biography of libran Brigitte Bardot was that she openly had so many lovers in her heyday, but was never derided for it (even in that era) she had goddess status in France. Goddess of free love! Have never dated a Libran man, been friends with a few and always find them very attractive, and intelligent & well dressed etc. I do like all that, am libran rising myself. Stood back and watched how many women pursued them, but never inclined to pursue, they might have been too nice? The few times… Read more »


That’s interesting, reading this made me wonder if Aries people ever have a preference for the sign that rules their 1st House/ASC. Clearly not!

(I am with a Gem and am Gem Rising but he is very involved with my SN which is located on my ASC).


Gemini is my catnip actually (where my NN is. When I looked at pictures of men on RSVP, guaranteed the ones I found most attractive were Gems. The Leo is Mars, Venus, Jupiter in Gemini. He makes me laugh, just at the point where I might lose my temper, I laugh instead!

I have 3 Aries planets in 7th house, but not much to do with Aries men either


Re: Bardot

Her ruling planet (Venus) was conjunct…..ta-dum!…Neptune! See my other comment below about why I was saying I don’t think Libra energy (by itself) is necessarily all about the Free Love.


Yes interesting what you write about Neptune conjunct sun, she was certainly an icon of the times.

Btw I think it’s a great thing that she could openly take whatever lovers she pleased, particularly in that era, and she was still adored as la Bardot!


” Libra IS the free love champion of the zodiac.” Yup. I dated one for about two years, with a break in between so he could fly to Canada to try and make it work with a girl there. Absolutely THE guy for manners and charm, really lovely. He collected Swarovski figurines and carefully chose his outfits each day. Appreciated a good cocktail and classical music. My Libra rising really loved all that stuff about him, but the Aries/Sag part of me did not so much, especially when it turned out that Mr. Polyamory didn’t actually want a poly relationship… Read more »


LOLOL awesome. i mean, hideous. but awesome, as an anecdote at least xx


Tres hilare Jessleane; his mother broke it off for him… God these Dating the Starsigns are a major dumping ground. I think its just men in general!!!


I know someone who is a libra-scorp combo and although you think butter wouldn’t melt in their mouth, my god the arguments i have heard about. like 2 personalities.


times may have changed though.


in all fairness [since we are talking libra here, fairness seems apt], i think what it was (is maybe) is the libra parts have a clear idea of what is best or necessary for The Relationship, and if the other person does not eventually toe the line, then the SAS / paramilitaries (scorpio parts) get called in. I get that , I guess, but making the Ultimate Sacrifice for a partnership is a little beyond my “man on verandah polishing shotgun” venus aries / moon cap ;D hahaah


I definitely concur that the possibility of Scorpio being in any Libra’s chart creates a certain scenario (and I’m not talking smack cuz I am myself Libra/Scorp full blown). The Libra who broke my heart was all wonderful and perfect until he saw something he didn’t think was gonna work and shit got shady fast. He broke up with me out of nowhere and i mean out of nowhere. He was Mars/Uranus/Venus conjunct in Scorp! But seriously you can’t be prejudice against a whole sign…that’s lunacy. Libras are, at the very least, some of the better people you’ll meet, and… Read more »


I must have gotten lucky with my (sun in) Libra. He is the most compassionate, understanding, supportive and easy to talk to man I’ve ever been with. We are going on 4 years together and we have a wonderful bond. Whenever there are conflicts we work through them. He has always made time for us and helps me remember I am worthy of great things. Perhaps he has other planets at play that help but this Libran is one to keep. Or maybe we are just a good match ^^ I don’t just feel the love inside me – I… Read more »


Sometimes when it’s right, it’s right;-)


I’m a female Libran with a stellium in Libra.. and in relationships I’m never interested in dishonesty or looking for other guys. Probably because I don’t get into a pair unless he’s the most beautiful.. and would rather just break up with him if I fell out of love and in it with someone else. Dishonestly can lead to unpleasantness.. Libras need connection…


Have had two relationships with the Librain (sic) of the species. One had a hair fetish as in liked lots of it and would withhold sex if you had a wax, shave et al. Liked seeing prostitutes and had no issue with multi-partners. Had mother issues, as in a lot, of, mother, issues. But unbelievably good looking and charismatic, insanely so, much like he was. Second was a sociopath of the highest order. Mother issues again, as in dead mother issues, and I don’t want to speak ill of the dead but there’s that old adage of how people can… Read more »


Ummm I’ve dates two Libras and I can’t disagree. One of them I consider a soulmate to this day but we couldn’t get it together because of life choices…even so I would still say he’s a total slut. Next dude broke my heart so hard I have romantic PTSD. He came on like we were soulmatea and lost interest in a matter of weeks. The most charming, seductive interesting dude I’ve ever met. Handsome as the devil himself. Found out later that he’s done the same thing to hundreds of girls! Ew. And as for the girls…well I’m Sun/Moon Libra… Read more »


“so sue me” … haha excellent. the thing is owning it and telling the whingers to rack off 🙂


heh heh yeah….if done in with proper etiquette (not in front of your significant other) than I see no reason why people can’t flirt…


My ex-husband is a Libra, 10 years younger than I am. And I’m an Aquarius. He is everything stated in the article. He’s beautiful and charming. As well as passive aggressive and manipulative. Every day I regret divorcing him, I am still in love with him. At the moment we’re friends with benefits, and it works. Honestly it may be the best I ever get out of him at this point…


Dated an attractive and grounded Libra for 4 years. He had some of the qualities everyone is talking about. Was very open sexually, ok with polyamory, ok with bisexual playing, but once we started dating really cared nothing for any of that, just didn’t seem to have the motivation to really search it out, but the thought of it was just fine. He had always been a loyal partner when he was in a relationship, never cheated on a past girlfriend. His Venus in Virgo liked me barefooted with no makeup, and was really into the idea of me shaving… Read more »

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