Capricorn Style Tips

Have you ever wondered how to be Capricorn? Or if there was a way you could somehow vibe like a Capricorn without having to actually, you know, be one?

Read on for some sensational, easy to follow Capricorn lifestyle tips!


For some signs of the Zodiac, it takes an actual identity crisis for them to re-examine their beauty regime, aesthetics or image. Not our Capricorn. They perform a Situational Assessment every damned morning.

Their preferred style is monochromatic. If you are using a cosmetic enhancement, it is not visible. Beige is their permanent new black. Not that Capricorns like ‘new,’ as such. Golden Beige. Pale Beige. Tan Beige. Glossy Beige. Matt Beige. Camel Beige. Caramel Beige. Mercedes dashboard beige and Scandinavian niche designer Beige.

Think also ostentatiously clean skin. Hair is flat and off the forehead to show off chic cerebral “high-brow” and lack of stress – whether it is the result of meditation genius, Botox or a blend of both will remain confidential.


Money, clean petrochemical additive-free soap, heritage lilies from the garden, citrus  + a hint of sulfur or something just a little bit dark such as baby oil & rubber. They do not spend precious $ on actual scent as such. If it is just 96% alcohol, as some commercial scents are, the Lady Capricorn can whip up something super-carnal in the kitchen via some vodka + vanilla essence & her own personal V scent, you understand.


Rarely light. When you’re doing Capricorn, you like gravitas. “Heavy” reading material is the cognitive version of a weighted comfort blanket for finely wired, high-frequency Capricorns. Contrary to what you may have gathered, Capricorns don’t read the news, they peruse structured data feeds generated by A.I.s


Sombre with outbreaks of ribald humor. To emulate Capricorn, listen intently to people as if you were a barrister being briefed on their case or deflect their attempts at familiarity via deft conversational pivots. There is no in between.


Frizz, dirt, engineering failures, poorly pronounced words or words inserted in a completely incorrect context, people who make no effort to reinvent themselves.


DHEA, Melatonin, Co-Q 10, homeopathic Platinum and compounded formulae prescribed by a hideously expensive doctor that the Capricorn visits at twilight.

* BEAUTY SECRET: Old-School – Celery Sticks. Anti-Fragility.  Kettle Bells. A natural fiber exfoliating washcloth.


Seances, friends from a very long time ago, cousins of ex-lovers, old friends of parents, mentors whom one never failed, passed ancestors, genteel grifting. Never any voodoo because real Capricorns consider it vulgar.


Tatts, reminders to self…in blood, pacts, shit-lists of enemies hidden in drawers, an antique lucky coin from the Lycian empire – which they recall as extremely prosperous.


Posture is the only status symbol that also saves money which would otherwise be spent on overly frequent trips to chiropractors.

32 thoughts on “Capricorn Style Tips”

  1. That’s hilarious and very accurate. Am not a Sun Cap but have Asc. and Moon in it. So, so true about image — esp. re makeup and beauty routine. Less is more. Also true with clothes — clean lines and monochromatic but never boring.

  2. scorpalicious robot

    Chesh, i have Pluto, Mars AND Uranus in 8th but i don’t bother with shit lists either and like you i do loud ignoring really well.
    I think i’m quite Saturnian being a Cap rising and move on very quickly with my Sag moon. Thank goddess for the Sag moon!

  3. Mystic, have a closer look. I saw this pic earlier today and it’s been in my subconconscious all afternoon. Had a ureka moment – she looks like a slimmed down version of Jelena Dokic, the vanquished and re-embraced Australian tennis player. Does anyone else see it?? I think it’s the doe eyes.

  4. RlF…I tried to 5* them but the site wouldn’t let me. I’ll try again later. They’re both sweet, good-vibe people.

  5. I must be an odd cap. I don’t have shit lists in drawers or anywhere. I simply couldn’t be bothered with people who I find difficult or have done me dirt. I ignore them and concentrate my time and attention on people I care about. ( but I have been known to ignore very loudly, but only in a genteel ladylike way)

  6. Referring to Mystic’s post picture, is it just me or has anyone noticed that fashion in recent times has been overrun with Russian models, many of whom look younger younger younger and a helluva lot sillier + more vacant than the previous model breeds??

    Or is that just my Saturn in Virgo being bitchy again *sigh*

  7. mmm I think lots of curly haired folk are still recovering from past nastiness. I happen to think it is SO beautiful, I just love curls on men and women. Perhaps some nice hair treatments to get the curls in top shape would make you feel as comfortable curly as straight fluid feline? Wouldn’t it be fun to do even every now and then?

    1. singing seagoat – you are spot on! I think years of being teased in the late 70s to mid 80s at school about my “abundance” on my head has forever damaged my view of “curls” Plus with my “in control” Saturn on the ascendant I think I just feel better looking in control. I know I know, I can see the other point of view (Pisces ascendant) but I just “know” what feels better for me right now. Plus I live in a subtropical zone of Eastern Australia – the humidity in Summer is deadly to anyone with a smidgeon of curls/frizz. My god, I don’t usually do ” ” so much. And I don’t do the body language!

  8. Thanks Mystic, about the flat hair ghd thing. I have super curly hair although anyone who has known me for less than 7 years would not know as I straighten it every day (I know super anal but I can’t help it – I feel ready to face anything with my hair shiny straight). My hairdresser sister has been telling me that my curls are really in and no one does straight anymore but I didn’t listen. Must be Saturn on my ascendant.

    1. FF my aunt has been straightening her hair or should i say was straightening her hair for many years….till it all fell out…stop it now, before you end up with a head of dead frizzy sparse stuff. In the 70’s the trend with men were these awful blow dried doo’s, I could never get the look as I had a head of curly wringlets , I called it my Brady Bunch afro, eventually it became ‘the’ style of course but by then I was giving myself a no. 2 all over. Let those curls be free..

      1. davidl, I would love to lose half my hair. You have no idea how much hair I have, hairdressers (other than my sister, no, including my sister) always exclaim about my hair i.e. the amount. Three months after my son was born I began losing handfuls every day for months; yah! Sadly it all grew back. I think I would secretly love to have “thin” hair, even to wear a wig, no time lost straightening. I apologise to anyone going thru chemo, I’m sure it is not so fun.

  9. My very cap friend also loves indulgent food – it has to be of good quality though. No shoddy cheap choccies or boring chips. Its more lamb backstraps from David Jones food hall made into a very rich curry, or gorgeous pastries.

    I think it is more the quality thing, because as we know (cap style) quality is not wasteful!

  10. Sorry Mystic, I’m a cap and my sister was a cap and the no-carbs doesn’t wash. We’d been known to have huge slabs of Pav or chocolate cake for breakfast washed down with a full-cream cappa. Cap ex-husband would practically roll in anything sweet. My mother, Leo with cap moon was the dessert Queen. I have a magnet on my fridge saying “life’s short, eat dessert first.” I have cap friends and they’re all dessert fiends. At restaurants, I always go to the sweets section to check and if an item sounds wonderful, I order no entre and a small main. My fav food is coffee hazelnut dacquoise for breakfast, lunch or dinner.

    1. Yah but i said Cap for a DAY not for a lifetime. And is kinda my fantasy version of Cap, lol…Plus an excuse to post more of those fab monochromatic look pix.

      1. This pic made me think of Linda Goodman’s description of an Aries. She said that if you can superimpose a rams face over the face your looking at, it’s probably an Aries or Aries rising.

    2. This is quite interesting, as every coeliac and wheat-intolerant person I know is a Capricorn Sun, including me! I have entirely the opposite experience to Cheshire Cap. Sugar & carbs tend to digestively disagree with all the aforementioned Caps.

      I adored this post, Mystic. The part about accents made me roar, and I’d just been researching DHEA before I looked at your site!

      1. Anon…it’s sweets my Cap friend are into, of the sugary variety. I can’t eat pasta but love it. Really doughy stuff like scones, some breads and cream buns will blow my glucose levels from 5 to 16 in 20 mins but sugary yummies like pavlova have little to no effect. Nor does chocolate, fruit based or creamy dairy desserts 🙂

      2. If I can chime in here… I’m a Cap with fat tendencies. I don’t eat carbs, generally but at least once a day, I have to have “something”. It must be yummy, gooey, floofy, creamy, smooshy or sticky. And when all else fails, a good ‘ole Hersheys with almonds is enough to maintain my natural sweetness levels. But once a day, I must have, absolutely need a little “something”.

  11. Seguing into the Bowie aspect of this post…my Sagg daughter with the Cap moon was rather delighted to realise that I not only had a very good condition Bowie vinyl but was happy to give it to her so she play it on her at the time freshly new record player (with ipod dock to digitise music) if need be.Looking at this list gives me much more insight into some of her so not Sagg tendancies…that Cap moon is strong.

    Spazzy Aqua had some balance problems recently which apparently were to do with her labyrinth…which lead both Sagg daughter and I to remark independently of each other, that anyone that has David Bowie running around in their ear channel would have problems with balance.

  12. maybe mood was the right word… period? Goes hand in hand with extensive ‘no money’ period (which is not suprising either) so you could be bang on the money for the speed/value (excuse the pun). One friend has a lolly jar that he _always_ has full of as many lollies as he can. The jar is big enough to fit my head in. He doesn’t like to share. The qi is possibly very weak with this one?
    I was thinking the model was looking like a fresher version of young Bowie there… but Putin’s love child would be fantastic!

  13. EVERYONE chooses junk food when down. Is like an indicator? I know successful Cap men who won’t touch it but lower qi-vibing ones who value it for the frugal-food hit and perceived speed/value equation.
    Also, while i am here, I just realised that the Russian model i used to illo a kinda Cap look resembles Vladimir Putin a LOT….Didn’t he have a love child a while back?

  14. Have a few Caps (and ever increasing number, infact).
    All these tick the female Caps boxes (no pun intended), but the male Caps no so much. Only in relation to food. The Caps of a man type nature only exist on junk food. Not to say that they don’t like ‘good’ food… its just that they love the junk, and will choose it above all others. Especially when in a down mood…

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