Astro Gaga is a collection of surreal, absurd and funny takes on Astrology, the New Age movement, and 21st Century Living. Read about the Space Dust Shamans, Neptunian Life Coaching, Supernatural Tinder and the adventures of Space Archeologist Vanadium Lightyear. Some of those posts are daffy suggestions for doing transits and unique takes on – say – the planetary styles of infidelity. Or Beauty Therapists of the Galaxy. Others explore an alternative dimension where disincarnate Real Housewives of Hades haunt the subways and pentacles are a cryptocurrency.

Vanadium’s Mars In 4th House Problem

Vanadium Lightyear sometimes wondered if her at-home restlessness was a Mars in 4th house problem. She’d been raised by a Qi Vampire, leaving her with excellent self-reliance skills. But the residual ‘something’s wrong’ guilt persisted. Weirdly, her new cleaner Onyx – sent by Neptunian Life Coaching Services – was helping. She’d lost that constant feeling of having forgotten something urgent. But she was also wondering if Onyx was from another …

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Valentine's Day astrology

How To Do Valentine’s Day Pagan Style

Welcome to Valentine’s Day Astrology. Saint Valentine was not an Aquarius. Even by Stolen Pagan Festival standards, it seems ridiculous to schedule a festival of schmultz, gypsophila, convention-sanctioned togetherness. And the Dining Dead during Aquarius Season. Firstly, Aquarius classically despises officially mandated celebrations and sentimental gestures. Cognitive connections move them more. The most memorable gift you can offer an Aquarius is usually Space. Poor Valentine officially perished on February 14. But even …

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supernatural dating image

Find Your Next Paranormal Romance On Supernatural Tinder

Vanadium Lightyear had no idea how she got onto Supernatural Tinder. She’d done the Deflecting Karma Drama course, opted out of Ad Drones and was not even Diversion Dating. She was literally on there seeking a new partner, with realistic and sane expectations in the world of supernatural dating. Because it looked more or less the same as the usual Tinder app, it was only her Paranormality Alarm Monitor going …

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Space Age Fashion Neptune Goggles

Neptune Googles Are The Ultimate Illusion Accessories

From the mystery backers behind Neptunian Life Coaching, comes a bold new lifestyle accessory: Neptune Goggles. After all, why take drugs when you can be a drug? Neptune Goggles are the exact opposite of Saturn Dating Goggles.  They are designed to diffuse reality, not bathe it in a stark light of skin blemishes and overdue tax. But they move well beyond the classic rose-tint of standard-issue Illusion Accessories. Custom-scented, they …

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After The Full Moon – A “Choose Your Planetary Option” Adventure

The Full Moon in Taurus squares everything (or so it felt) is over. It was fun, it was real but I am glad. (Concept: an astrological children’s book.) So apres that Full Moon and the X-Roads energy of the Sun/Retro-Venus opposite the Moon/Uranus square the Nodes of the Moon, we may as well hunker down and choose a stance for the rest of the Venus Retrograde. I have identified five …

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Hypatia And The Lake On Mars

The Lake On Mars Was An Ancient Sanctuary Hypatia could not stand it. Centuries of peace and quiet to be suddenly wrecked by scientific scrutiny. Or more likely, she thought furiously, commercial exploitation. Caligula, she gathered, had somehow managed to reincarnate and rule on Gaia, not usually a simple stunt. How had he done it? She honestly didn’t care. Some of the people and entities Hypatia was living with were …

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