Astro Gaga is a collection of surreal, absurd and funny takes on Astrology, the New Age movement, and 21st Century Living. Read about the Space Dust Shamans, Neptunian Life Coaching, Supernatural Tinder and the adventures of Space Archeologist Vanadium Lightyear. Some of those posts are daffy suggestions for doing transits and unique takes on – say – the planetary styles of infidelity. Or Beauty Therapists of the Galaxy. Others explore an alternative dimension where disincarnate Real Housewives of Hades haunt the subways and pentacles are a cryptocurrency.

woman in turquoise evening gown with scuba diver

Astro-Gaga: What Are Their Signs & What Is Happening Here?

Her astrologer had said there was NOTHING inherently wrong with a Leo dating a Sagg. That in fact, they were really compatible, both Fire Signs and that there was WAY more to their chemistry than just the Sun Signs. So when he said he didn’t like formal occasions, how the hell was she to suspect the absurd lengths he would go to avoid one??? Her Sagittarius lover is equally confused. …

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nude supermodel watching men

Saturn in Virgo, Exfoliation and Seduction

So screw Saturn in Virgo all the way to hell and back. The Stress Diet (thank you Saturn) had worked a treat and her regular full-body exfoliation-colonic combos completed the effect of glowing good health. Her filing was done, she’d alphabetically ordered her entire possessions and the fumes of Ti-tree oil and Dettol (fuq all that crap about not mixing disinfectant with any other substances – nothing interferes with the …

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Girl in bathtub with flowers and high heeled boots

What Sign Is She And W.T.F. Has Happened Here?

WHAT is going on here? This totally fits my Moon-Neptune in Aquarius mood. That IS what is going on right now.  Moon-Neptune = dreamy, beauty-loving surrealist with a foot fetish in the mood to only arrange flowers but Aquarius gives it a zany edge. Image: Oyster Magazine–pic by Zoey Grossman-styled Cat Wennekamp

model couple in rustic bedroom

Astro-Gaga: Freaked Virgo On Hols?

Right.  At first I thought, this being a luxe bag-ad, that they were both gazing at the bag. Then I thought that maybe they’d just had a massive rowl and it had to do with something IN the bag. She looks like she’d maybe be fine if he took off but heaven-help anyone who gets between her and that bag. This fits because the bag is supposed to be madly …

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woman in red ballgown with big hole in wall

Astro-Gaga: What Sign Is She And What Happened?

She is a Cancerian Mood-Swinger who works as a stylist at the Large Hadron Particle Collider (the scientists are expecting some media attention) and she took some weird shit back from a lab, hoping it would help her seduce her strange Aquarian lover. But he’s just morphed into a Reincarnate Atlantean after shes sprinkled even just a bit of the God-Particle powder into his chardonnay. That or a kickboxing Libran …

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Sesame St Vampire

The Evolution Of Vampires

Does anyone have an astrological or socio-cultural theory as to why vampires get better looking with every generation? Gemini Vampire Saggo Vampire Sagittarius & Cancerian Vampire. Taurus Vampire Of course, the character  of Dracula, the most famous vampire of them all, was created by Bram Stoker – Sun & Moon in Scorpio…

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