ASTRO GAGA

Astro Gaga is a collection of surreal, absurd and funny takes on Astrology, the New Age movement, and 21st Century Living. Read about the Space Dust Shamans, Neptunian Life Coaching, Supernatural Tinder and the adventures of Space Archeologist Vanadium Lightyear. Some of those posts are daffy suggestions for doing transits and unique takes on – say – the planetary styles of infidelity. Or Beauty Therapists of the Galaxy. Others explore an alternative dimension where disincarnate Real Housewives of Hades haunt the subways and pentacles are a cryptocurrency.

Mars square Neptune poster

Mars Square Neptune Is Unmissable

March 31, 2021 / ASTRO GAGA / 43 Comments
Mars square Neptune is nearly here, the live event you've been craving. Do you long for app-free living and being able to reply to things with 'whatever? Lust-based decision-making? Therapeutic decadence? Flirting without intent but doing their birth chart anyway? Giggling during yoga? Mood nail polish? Throwing your Eckhart Tolle book at someone and then going to the pub? Irony? Neptunian love interests? Relationships that never happen but hover enticinglyRead More...
Saturn in Aquarius 2021 dance party

The Saturn In Aquarius Extended Play Dance Mix – Featuring Deepfaked

March 19, 2021 / ASTRO GAGA / 44 Comments
Longevity. Legacy. Resilience. When it comes to such factors, everyone knows that D.J. Saturn reigns supreme. At four billion years old, you'd think the wily scenester would give it away, but no, he's still showing the young up and comers how it's done. Cool under any circumstances, Saturn is always timely. If you can't catch this global superstar in one of his exclusive gigs at Chronopolis, or you didn't relateRead More...

Announcing The Launch Of Neptunian Legal Services

November 9, 2020 / ASTRO GAGA / 23 Comments

A press release…Now?! Then again, why not? “…Neptunian Life Coaching is proud to announce the launch of Neptunian Legal Services, a natural and timely extension for our three-millennia-old company. Leveraging off our galactic platform and proven track record of providing sophisticated advice for complex scenarios, N.L.S. will fearlessly represent the interests of its clients.  Neptunian Legal Services has offices across all dimensions and its agents operate throughout multiple timelines, backRead More…

Every Day Is Halloween Now

March 22, 2021 / ASTRO GAGA / 30 Comments

Every day is Halloween now. Magic has gone from luxury or hypothesis to practical necessity. Basic aura-cleansing skills are the new ‘know how to change a tire.’ The convergence of science with metaphysics is gathering pace – example? Time Crystals! Lockdown cleared the skies so we can see all of the ineffable Star lines, connecting more profoundly to these billion-year-old self-illuminating stellar life forms. Being a technician of Wyrd isRead More…

Downtown Marsopolis

October 11, 2020 / ASTRO GAGA / 45 Comments

Welcome to Downtown Marsopolis. There’s no welcome committee because that would be inane. It’s not that sort of a neighborhood. But if you can handle yourself – that is,  don’t try to fluster people’s focus with fluffy opinions – they’ll reward you with a conspiratorial wink at some point.  Some people moved here ages ago, natal Mars squares are an automatic in. You need it. Real estate agents in DowntownRead More…

Which Mars In Aries Experience Are You?

March 30, 2021 / ASTRO GAGA / 67 Comments

Which Mars in Aries experience* are you? Is it like lockdown resolutions where you start out planning to make your own spirulina and pasta but end up with garish and vaguely insulting “same again?” suggestions from the food delivery algorithm?  Or in the Mars equivalent, you set up your mission H.Q. and scale every goal to be suitably extreme. This Mars trip has a soundtrack, a primal thudding doof ofRead More…

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