ASTRO GAGA

Astro Gaga is a collection of surreal, absurd and funny takes on Astrology, the New Age movement, and 21st Century Living. Read about the Space Dust Shamans, Neptunian Life Coaching, Supernatural Tinder and the adventures of Space Archeologist Vanadium Lightyear. Some of those posts are daffy suggestions for doing transits and unique takes on – say – the planetary styles of infidelity. Or Beauty Therapists of the Galaxy. Others explore an alternative dimension where disincarnate Real Housewives of Hades haunt the subways and pentacles are a cryptocurrency.

Announcing The Launch Of Neptunian Legal Services

November 9, 2020 / ASTRO GAGA / 23 Comments

A press release…Now?! Then again, why not? “…Neptunian Life Coaching is proud to announce the launch of Neptunian Legal Services, a natural and timely extension for our three-millennia-old company. Leveraging off our galactic platform and proven track record of providing sophisticated advice for complex scenarios, N.L.S. will fearlessly represent the interests of its clients.  Neptunian Legal Services has offices across all dimensions and its agents operate throughout multiple timelines, backRead More…

Every Day Is Halloween Now

November 3, 2020 / ASTRO GAGA / 30 Comments

Every day is Halloween now. Magic has gone from luxury or hypothesis to practical necessity. Basic aura-cleansing skills are the new ‘know how to change a tire.’ The convergence of science with metaphysics is gathering pace – example? Time Crystals! Lockdown cleared the skies so we can see all of the ineffable Star lines, connecting more profoundly to these billion-year-old self-illuminating stellar life forms. Being a technician of Wyrd isRead More…

Downtown Marsopolis

October 11, 2020 / ASTRO GAGA / 45 Comments

Welcome to Downtown Marsopolis. There’s no welcome committee because that would be inane. It’s not that sort of a neighborhood. But if you can handle yourself – that is,  don’t try to fluster people’s focus with fluffy opinions – they’ll reward you with a conspiratorial wink at some point.  Some people moved here ages ago, natal Mars squares are an automatic in. You need it. Real estate agents in DowntownRead More…

Which Mars In Aries Experience Are You?

October 6, 2020 / ASTRO GAGA / 67 Comments

Which Mars in Aries experience* are you? Is it like lockdown resolutions where you start out planning to make your own spirulina and pasta but end up with garish and vaguely insulting “same again?” suggestions from the food delivery algorithm?  Or in the Mars equivalent, you set up your mission H.Q. and scale every goal to be suitably extreme. This Mars trip has a soundtrack, a primal thudding doof ofRead More…

The Gateway to the Gateway

August 12, 2020 / ASTRO GAGA / 49 Comments

I’m feeling like 2020 may as well just go for full weird, get us all in the mood for Pluto in Aquarius.  The C.I.A. declassified Astral Travel docs make fabulous reading. I liked the part about how the brain does not have “an imagination” – the imagination has created the mind; something like that. But my fave section is where they are looking for the “gateway to the Gateway.” YES!Read More…

A Classic Sun Conjunct Uranus News Story

April 30, 2020 / ASTRO GAGA / 44 Comments

The Pentagon declassified Navy UFO video story was so apt for Sun conjunct Uranus. I loved it, right down to Caligula saying he didn’t believe in aliens or the Navy, whatever. I inadvertently set the video above to Monobeat’s In the Arms Of Eternity – fantastic. But really, who is surprised? I have had two major U.F.O. sightings, the first when I was in primary school. It’s not so muchRead More…

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