Ask Mystic: I Have A Hair Vampire

hair vampire redhead
Image: Single White Female

Hi Mystic,

Since you created the phrase “Love Zombie” and give advice on dealing with Qi Vamps I thought you may have some advice on my hair vampire situation. I am a Virgo-Rising, Virgo-Sun, Virgo-Venus and Leo Moon. I have a Sagittarius colleague who keeps copying my hair. Grow it long, so does she and when I cut it short, so does she. And then I add bangs, so does she. I change the color, she shows up within days with the same color. And I don’t know if she is doing it consciously. But I am wondering what powers I can summon to make her stop. I fret my next trip to the hair stylist for fear I get some amazing cut that ends up on her head and I have to – yet again – abandon the style. And even abandoning the style is no safety.
This person has shown herself to be a Qi Vamp in other ways. I am keeping my distance. To make it worse, many people at the office call me by her name. Can I do any house or office witchery to get some space from this person? Any tips appreciated. For various reasons, I’m not able to switch jobs at the moment.
Certainly not asking for free advice, but I am wondering if perhaps your sage readers have encountered this phenomenon before and if it has a name.
Thank you,
12th House Virgo

Hair vampire tactics

Hi 12th House Virgo,

Has this phenomenon got a name? Hell no! It’s just a subset of Qi Vampire with potential Love Zombie involvement. I feel like we need a lab to study this behavior. There seems to be a bit of it around lately.

So firstly, I have never encountered a Moon in Leo person who did not have fabulous hair. And that you are also a Triple Virgo, well, she is probably aspiring to be more, you know, YOU.  Or perhaps this hair vampire has Bad Hair Karma?

But that does not help with what is clearly frustrating and frankly, weird. As an anti-idea, you could get really weird hair, like a wig that looks like your hair but you do something strange with it? And then, when Ms. Vamp copies your leopardskin print acrylic hair extensions, she will realize the oddity of her conduct? She is probably sapping her own vital energies as well.

On the other hand go full Jupiter-in-Sagittarius candor and bring it up with her directly. For example, ‘I notice that you seem to have very similar taste in hair aesthetic to mine. Do we have the same hairstylist?’

Alternatively, if this hair vampire is just too hideous for you to bring your flair to bear on the situation, you need Office Witchery. Go into work on a Sunday or when nobody else is there and sage your desk and here if possible. Sage smells like Dream-Weed and the smoke can set off fire alarms so be careful with this approach. The more office-friendly approach is to mist the place and yourself with Himalayan Salt in triple-distilled water.

Get a talismanic protective mini-statue for your desk or similar work-zone; A Bast statue perhaps? Or the little Feng Shui guardian dragons? And, wear Metal. Crystals are grounding but they’re Earth and we are moving into a more Earth-centric era. Metal is connected to Saturn Vibe which is the ultimate in Qi Vampire deflection.

What does everyone else think?

Image: Single White Female 

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Rainygems

(no offense BUT) Sagittarius are the worst, weird, vamp-your-style/look/habits/interests/passions type of zombies! Swear to God their personalities are just stolen bits they thought were cool from other people. Their ‘radical Sag candor’ just seems to always be an attempt to brazenly flaunt and own these vamped concepts in an attempt to cover their deeeeeep mutable insecurities, instead of dealing with them head on to self actualize.

When Sag actually can do their own thing it’s incredible, but I’ve only seen it happen once.

Melissa Melita

Hair Vampirism aside, I think this could be the old feud between Virgos and Saggitarians. Virgos seem to hate Saggis, and vice versa. Wasnt there an ask Mystic here once, where a pregnant Virgo wondered if it was ok to abort her Saggitarius baby? These two seem to have irreconcilable differences.

WizarDora

On point Mystic.

First thing an ex-work Qi-vamp colleague was hair style similarity, then lipstick, accessories and finally hobbies and online persona stalking. Put up your walls, have zero curiosity in this person and shut it the hell down, as best you can, Queen of Hair.

I’d probably be a little more crabby cryptic and say to her, “because you are worth it huh?” then I’d flick her the rods.

x

WizarDora

On point Mystic. First thing an ex-work Qi-vamp colleague was hair style similarity, then lipstick, accessories and finally hobbies and online persona stalking. Put up your walls, have zero curiosity in this person and shut it the hell down, as best you can, Queen of Hair x

Scorpio_Rising

What exactly causes a woman to copy/steal another woman’s style? Not a celebrity but someone at the same workplace or city? Is it insecurity? flattery? or something much more sinister?
I have friends admire my new sunglasses or hairstyle and get something similar, but not the exact same but they aren’t acting as if I copied them, they have acknowledged that I inspired them, that doesn’t bother me. But, there’s a far more sinister version of copying/stealing someone’s style to steal their identity…I had one person who I caught copying my FB posts verbatim but would adamantly deny it then copy my style down to my hat and boots and then accuse me of copying her I find this to be some sort of mental illness, so I distanced myself right away. I was tired of my posts being copied daily, then she’d act annoyed I pointed it out.
I never understood this behavior, never will. How hard is it to give the writer credit for a post? It’s really quite simple to quote and tag the writer or to share the original post. So why not do so? This goes beyond bad manners.
If I had to guess she might be bipolar or suffer from some other personality disorder where she cannot give credit where credit is due to a pride issue? She also refuses to say sorry or admit to a mistake even when caught red-handed in a lie. She doubles down and blames others every single time. It wasn’t her that posted that nasty remark, she was drunk, left her iPhone at the bar, someone else posted those nasty comments about me.
I also do not understand why this person friended me in the first place spend years trying to become friends only to treat me with such rude, disrespectful behavior and act like it’s normal.
People really confuse me.
Good luck with your situation I feel ya, I really do!.

Salamander

Yes, I agree that there’s some particular Qi vampy stuff going on here. Leo hair is power. And by stealing your hairstyle, she’s trying to steal your power. Think Samson and Delilah. And by forcing you to change it, she is succeeding.

Choose a style you think you’ll be happy with for awhile, then keep it for a good long time. It’s likely she will move on and find another target to fixate upon for Qi juice and inspiration if you are not providing it to her. If a salt spray would be beneficial for your hair style and type, you might go for a few spritzes. Salt tends to discourage the vamps, and it’s great that it’s in now for the beach wave look.

With respect to the name issue, I think you need a talisman. Get a necklace, bracelet, or ring with your name on it (even engraved on the interior) and wear it every day. It doesn’t have to be big or flashy, but it should be a piece you love. Don’t respond when people call you the wrong name. You don’t have to do this in a hostile way, but when they get it right, you can be breezy and distracted, as if you are busy contemplating more weighty matters.

One thing that you can do to individuate yourself in the subconscious of others is through scent. Find yourself a lovely signature scent, if that is permitted in your office. You can buy one or make it yourself. Something you truly love and will wear to the office every day for a year. If anyone, especially your would-be doppleganger asks for the name of it, just breezily say that it’s something that a friend bought you or that you created yourself. Withhold the name of it, if it can be purchased. You know she’ll ask (“What IS that scrumptious scent you’re wearing?”), but she will not be able to figure it out, and you will have regained some of your power. In the reptilian brains of your co-workers, you’ll no longer smell like your doppleganger, and they’ll be able to make a change to see YOU as YOU more easily with a distinct fragrance.

Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot

Avoid avoid avoid. Watch out for any stalkery behaviour. Its creepy to say the least…AND i noticed my stalker started copying my hair styles too.

kitty

Could you complement her on her own style choices? Also encourage her into a hairstyle of her own. Sometimes people don’t know their own look and need help finding it. Reinforce desired style choices (not copied) with further complements.

Sam

It surprises me as Sadges are generally dgaf about other ppls styles (aren’t they? Or the ones I know are)
I wonder if she has some low-functioning Scorpio in her chart. Or Cap, for that matter?
Given they are neighbouring signs.
I had a similar experience with the Libran Scorpio. Except it was my look and friends she was vampireing. ugh. Long time ago though.
Physical and social separation was the only way I could manage it, plus some psychic protection /separation practices. Also, doing things that were very uniquely Me. Venus in Aries helped with the push-back.

12th House Virgo

She is Cancer rising. ‍♀️

Pegasus

L’Oreal ‘Silver Rush’ a Feria metallic could look quite exotic on your brunette locks or silver/violet streak(s). LIke have something so unique and individual that it is impossible to copy.
If a DIY it’s easy to bleach a streak or 2/3 in the front or middle of head.Wrap in foil then apply violet mebbe magic silver white drops after so you can control the depth of colour.
As you are a Creative play with it yourself. How about talking to her about hair styles….lol, take some hair mags to work, leave on your desk, hand them to her ‘as you seem interested in my stye and i love your hair’. Is it possible she could turn into a compadres as you are being connected for some reason it seems even if a bit hairy.
If i remember your hair is thick and shoulder or longer so can do up styles and down on alternate days. That will put a spanner the works if she is copying your style exactly tho’ perhaps it’s an unspoken upside down complement however annoying, as hair is SO personal.

Year of the Phoenix

Hi 12th House am a Virgo Sun conj Pluto /Virgo rising with Venus in Leo and I have experienced and also witnessed in a work setting.

Always a signature of poor self esteem or taste or both. They see your fabulous self being all effortlessly stylish and try a take over of whatever the look you nail.

Worked in local fashion house and there was a co worker who would copy her subordinates hair/clothes and I watched the look change as the *also Virgo assistant left a new team of blondes arrived and her look change from severe black straight to sandy beach loose wave look

I had a friend/house mate who would check what I was wearing to nights out and then wear an exact same outfit. I worked out a change to something else entirely and with one of my own design tees (ahhh 90s rave culture!) would do it

Try the old bait and switch, your planned perm perhaps?

Leo-Scorp Grrrl

I like the salt spray and Celtic Freeze spell ideas. I do love a good salt spray. We don’t wish her ill will- just want her to stop creeping on you.

I think I’ll try the freeze spell this weekend. I have a former dishonorable love interest that I swear emotionally creeps me. He pops into my mind at odd times – and not favorably. I truly do. it want to see him again.

Leo-Scorp Grrrl

Thank you to Mystic for the salt spray and to Taurus Vixen for the frozen water spell. I’m off to look for the perfect freezer bottle….

12th House Virgo

Thanks for the thoughtful comments. Things have improved since I first wrote Mystic so it feels a bit petty now. Really what bothers me is being called her name.she never calls me by her name so it’s a larger office identity issue. I’m not mad at her. I empathize with her. I don’t want to confront her about my possible projections. If she is influenced by me I’m sure it’s not conscious or intentional. Now we each have new roles and I don’t even know what her hair is doing. I’ve got a new stylist who is growing me into natural waves. I love the idea of a wig collection. I wish there was a “day my name” spell to go with the “bitch be gone” spray. Haha! Thanks again.

12th House Virgo

*say not day

SoVeryGemini

Don’t know what kind of office you have, but a passive-aggressive name tag worn every day might get the point across . . . Also, Florida Water sprayed on/around your desk will help keep the creep-o’s away.

12th House Virgo

Haha! I should have my name embroidered on my shirts!

Taurus Vixen

Immediately thought of a Celtic frozen water spell I was taught last year. You write the person’s name on a piece of paper and put it in a bottle of water. Then put the bottle of water in the freezer. As it was explained to me it freezes the person’s energy in regards to me. Definitely worked with a good friend that was jealous about how well my life was going.

Chrysalis

Thanks for passing this on, I have a couple of energy vamps at work I need to tackle in such a way

Taurus Vixen

I was surprised just how quickly and how well it works!

SheRat

Yes, yes because the latest culprit of this is visiting me for her birthday in a couple weeks and I’ve deffo been feeling l’ll need to protect my space!

Electro

After a few years with two SWF types, one at work and one dating a family member, it is really nice not dealing with it for a change. It drove me absolutely nuts but of course one has to look at the life lesson. My two SWF differed as they tried to do and then outdo whatever I had going on.

I love the idea of wigs, get several! She most likely feels the energy you give off each time she copies you and basks in it, no matter what flavor it is. So the less energy flow you can give her, the better.

I have a few close Virgo rising friends and they have their personal presentation on point. I’m not the confrontational type but if I were to do something in your shoes, maybe gifting a magazine or hairstyle book. Accompanied by a comment about how she likes great hair as much as you do but perhaps she could find something on her own rather than taking yours.

Virgonator

I imagine every time you change your hair because of her, she feels she’s won. Knockoffs are never as great as the original – just keep doing you.

SheRat

Just as confirmation: I have noticed a spate of idea-stealing lately to the point that I mentioned to a friend that I might actually stop sharing my work with my group. We’re supposed to be workshopping/giving each other feedback, but then I find ideas nicked. Kinda disheartening. I had been blaming on my Pluto Rising…

S

I’ve noticed this too. I had cards I’d made in therapy and a fresh out of the block psychology student wanted to borrow them. I know that she just took my idea and colour copied them. Nothing beats the lived experience and someone who knows their own benchmark for success.

I have to believe that one day the reality will dawn on them when the ideas do dry up. A fresh pair of eyes don’t have to be a particular age bracket either.

Stella

The reality will dawn when someone approaches them for original ideas and they don’t have the flair to produce them. You may only ever learn of this informally, if at all.

12th house virgo

Perhaps it’s a Pluto-rising thing. Pluto is within 10 degrees of my AC

SheRat

Pluto is 2* away from Acs. in Libra.

Stella

Are others in the group sharing fresh ideas or are they just musing/wining about challenges they are facing but no ideas?
If you are an ideas person, it is frustrating to not speak about what you are doing. But it is doubly frustrating to see some Noddy just reproduce your idea with no ackowledgement and just brazen theft. In part this problem is open sourcing that is based on common not proprietary ownership. But it is also recognising that open sourcing does not apply everywhere.

SheRat

Um….we were not really doing a “brainstorming” dynamic, as such. We’re not about into rewriting each others shit, more it’s more just, like, feedback. Presumably our instructors would be the ones with the heavier directorial hand. I told the one guy my predictions for the economy and the future of creative labor (these plans actually inform my real-life ten-year plan) and now his next book is going to be using those ideas the basis for the book. I think I might even be a character. The other two have suddenly decided–at very late hours in the program, to experiment with formats they had previously not expressed any interest in–both of which are prime elements in my project. So, you do the math.

I think my main thing is not the spreading of the ideas themselves, it’s the lack of acknowledgement. I drink with these people enough that one of them could say: “Hey man, I’ve decided to rewrite a bunch of the novel but in script format–you know how you did for those scenes? We’ll see how it works!”

OR, “you know, your whole magnum opus has really made me feel like I should add a perforfmative aspect to my poetry so I wanna do a one-woman show–you’ll help me with it. no?”

AS TO “Oh, yeah I changed half the book to script, isn’t that a great idea? or “YAH I’m gonna make a one woman play out of my collection, cool, huh?”

You know, it’s all about context,

Then there’s that whole quote from Picasso….”Good artists borrow, great artists steal.” Looks like I need to figure out what I need to steal from these folks. 😉

S

I’ve found my life appearing as a muse in short story, songs and film. My hairdresser and I discussed this and as a Saggo she taught me to laugh about this. I’m learning to find ways to be ok with this. It’s most frustrating because the content is so deeply personal and the lack of acknowledgement causes further distress to me. I’m trying to trust myself and my decisions and accept the truth of my past. Therapeutic harmony and ownership of my mind and body are my goals for this life and as the Oracle advised “Don’t Give Up.”

SheRat

I am absolutely against people appropriating others’ traumatic events without permission/acknowledgement. I think it is even worse when the person from whom the experience is being appropriated is an artist themselves.

However, I suspect that there is already a lot of psych/socio literature about the parasitic (and misogynist) nature of the artist/muse dynamic. For fiction, Heroines by Kate Zambreno (which is kind of a weird bougie romp through the mania of an acdemic) still speaks to this concept of the “muses” having been ripped off, used and ultimately destroyed. As an example, Marianne Faithfull started out with her OWN career and was not a muse. She survived.

S

Is there an option to discuss this with this person?
Taking a light approach as suggested. It does seem like this person has a self esteem and image issue.

I’d like to support the idea of different hair extensions or wigs is a great option.

I like to wear Tourmaline as it offers a protective shield around the body. It aids in understanding oneself and others promoting self confidence and diminishing fears. It banishes feelings of victimisation and attracts inspiration, tolerance and prosperity.

Wish Upon a Star

Well it is said that Imitation is the best form of flattery. You have to feel sorry for her, it sounds like she might have a borderline personality disorder. So you might have to tread lightly.

I’m beginning to feel that the best way to treat people of this ilk is to just live your life and not worry about it.

Try and look at the big picture and have a sense of humour. People who are worth their salt will realise what is going on and probably give you a knowing look, and the others: well, they are probably are leaning to the muggle direction.

I think involving yourself with this woman will just give her oxygen, and it could be messy.

If you just can’t do this why not have a quiet word with the Human Resources Manager. I’m sure she will understand how unnerving this behavior is. And if the situation escalates at least you will have a leg to stand on.

This advice stems from experience.

All the best.

amazonalison

I like the idea of confronting her about having the same stylist…sometimes you just have to let them know you know, you know? Also, I read this little tidbit the other day, and I am keeping it in my back pocket just in case. But, a very simple and harmless banishment spell: write their name on a tiny piece of paper, wad it up, and put in the back corner of your freezer. I liked how simple and non-invasive it was. Can’t hurt!

Saturnine

Since the copycat has already shown herself to be a Qi vamp in other ways, I’m thinking she might be little more concious than a mere admirer and does this on purpose just to get a reaction (hairstyle change) from 12th House Virgo. I’d suggest going in full defense mode energy-wise and actually keeping the same hair for a while in order to cut off Ms. Vamp. Also, do not answer when people call you her name or correct them immediately. One last tip I learned from my parents: carry a small amount of sulfur near your body when outside the home, wards off pretty much anything/anyone unwanted (I make small sachets with parchment paper, fill them with sulfur, draw saturn and pluto symbols with a pen and keep them inside my shoes for discretion).

Scorpio_Rising

I agree, if you find a style you like stick with it, don’t let her bully you anymore and yes, do not respond when others call you by the wrong name… good advice.

Scorpio_Rising

Being inspired by a celebrity or someone’s style in another city is ok, but copying altogether especially a co-worker, kinda stepping on your toes.
With groups of friends with similar tastes, this kinda occurs but with some level of acknowledgment and acceptance but a co-worker you’re not tight with no. It’s trouble.
Obviously, she admires you even though it feels awful and annoying.
Been there and felt that. It feels like they are trying to steal your identity or hope others will confuse you with them which is icky very vampiric energy. Especially if they are trying to take credit for your work, or steal your job.
As I read this post this morning my nemesis has done the exact same thing.
I often post photos online from different eras to throw her off but she manages to try to keep up.
If there’s a Banishing Spell I’m in. Bitch Be Gone! Spray.

Stella

Yes to Bitch Be Gone spray. Would pay for this.
Sage spray may also work in lieu of smudge stick as it avoids smoke alarm issues.

rachellion

I sympathize. Whether it’s intentional or not it’s annoying/unsettling and feels “Single White Female”-ish. As a moon in leo I’ve dealt with some copy cats (hee) as well …once by my former MIL, who got her hair permed to look like my curly bob. She was actually pretty loving and kind for the most part, though def a little qi vampirish and jealous like this at times, but mostly kept that stuff in check. It also happened with my current MIL, who chopped off her hair after she saw my pixie cut…complementing me on it was I think the first nice thing she ever said to me…she does lots of passive-aggressive and narcissistic crap in general. When she was going to get it cut again the next year, she showed me a picture of her “idea” and it looked exactly like that haircut I had (but since had changed at that point), to ask what I thought. She also went on and on about her haircut several times on that trip. Funnily, when she did finally get the haircut it looked the same as it was before and not at all like the picture so I didn’t notice, and she was upset about this, but I thought to myself that’s what you get haha. I assume this has happened MILs cause also have sun-venus-merc-etc in Kataka. The weird freudian stuff is just uncomfortable. I had one former friend SWF me but the hair was spared…it was just lots of other stuff, including things about how I looked.

A'NLEIFR

Mysitc, you have met one now! LOL I am bald and a Leo Moon!

“I have never encountered a Moon in Leo person who did not have fabulous hair.”

HellaHeka

I was going to also suggest a fake-out wig that looks like your real hair and then once she has copied it, stop wearing the wig. That might also draw attention to what she is doing and be embarrassing enough for her to stop. (bonus points– if after she shows up having copied your wig hair, pull the wig off in front of everyone, including her)

I had this happen to me once as a teenager, not with hair, but with wardrobe. I know people saying imitation is a compliment (or whatever) but that’s also kinda like saying street harassment is a compliment.

Scorpio_Rising

Boom! Yes!
Buy a new wig and take lots of photos on Instagram/FB (whenever she follows you) over the weekend before you go to work to give her time to copy the new style then when she does say can I take a selfie with you?
“It looks like you’re my twin?” Smile. Take a photo then point out you have a new twin in the office.
Maybe, too bitchy?
She obviously looks up to up for her to copy you but still crazymaking none-the-less.
Good luck!

Nady

Wow I understand how you feel. I once had a person like this at my workplace in my early 20s we worked in the same team it was creepy. Copied my hair, work shirts – even same colour shirts, same lipstick anc make up style and then tried to copy my fragrance – luckily I told her the wrong thing the at least 5 times she asked me what it was, this girl was also a liar and just ugly / as in just an ugly person with ugly needy vibes. Still makes me shudder when I think of her energy – i think these people are very damaged and are “Identity Vampires” clearly she is loving your vibe. Maybe don’t be nice to her at all – one word answers etc and actually ask her why she copies you next time she does it really obviously.

Carrie

What I’m about to say comes from a multi- libra, moon Taurus and Venus sagg-and, oh god – DO I LOVE HAIR!!!! I offer what MY reaction would be, only for the purpose of offering a different vantage point, and perhaps a way to side-step a perspective that leads to distress (I told you I was libra- lol): as I read this I felt into this scenario in a way that made me smile. It feels, to me, delightfully sweet and tender. Maybe the dear cub looks up to your lioness-ness, or at least your hair. Maybe she thinks your a genius in the hair fashion realm-, a walking hair magazine cover. after all, hair fashion, like all fashion, is meant to be copied. Anyway. That’s me. And, as someone who has approached near strangers to ask if I could please touch gorgeous hair, I lean toward sympathizing with your hair groupie-girl.

Another thought, maybe this person who is blessed with fabulous enough hair that she can copy you is, sadly, afflicted on the socially awkward spectrum: it does have that weird spectrum-y feel (weird, but harmless). If so, there would be no gentle, tactful way around this without inflicting a dose of shame.

So, to all the fabulous beauties: as I said to my mother at age 6 when I refused to use an umbrella “but mom, we have to suffer to be beautiful.”

EarthWindFire

Virgo Sun/Virgo Moon/ Leo (HELLO MANE) Rising here: I totally understand feelings about hair. I cling to mine and it has so many emotions around it. Yesterday I got my hair cut and changed the color yet again and I can’t even imagine if there was some vampire with a clipboard taking notes, and then copying it. Totally sympathize. As a Virgo Sun/Moon, I will share something tho. I just discovered yesterday after a revealing week that people think I have my shit together all the time, that I never need anything or that I rarely even have feelings. And I was sort of shocked but two people said this to me and that with the Virgo thing, they just think we have it all together. I had no idea. So it really could be that. But what is your strategy here? I love this idea of changing it to make it totally off the wall. I think getting playful could actually be super fun! Like get a wild punk wig, cornrows, something hideous, the next day Marilyn Monroe- every day something new. You could seriously have a blast with that- I am laughing just thinking of it. And laughter is the best medicine!

RisingWater

Replying as someone who has also been copied (and who later copied someone else), chances are, this person thinks you’ve got it all together, admires your style, and is not especially creative herself. I’m a fan of the direct (but friendly) confrontation method, but you could also try letting her know, in passing, that you are also human – as a triple Virgo, you can bet that you give the outward appearance of having everything under super-control, and plenty of people wish they did.

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