Astro Gaga is a collection of surreal, absurd and funny takes on Astrology, the New Age movement, and 21st Century Living. Read about the Space Dust Shamans, Neptunian Life Coaching, Supernatural Tinder and the adventures of Space Archeologist Vanadium Lightyear. Some of those posts are daffy suggestions for doing transits and unique takes on – say – the planetary styles of infidelity. Or Beauty Therapists of the Galaxy. Others explore an alternative dimension where disincarnate Real Housewives of Hades haunt the subways and pentacles are a cryptocurrency.

Easter W.T.F.

Easter, seriously, w.t.f? THIS IS ME EVERY YEAR, Set and Forget –   I mean, LOOK at this thing.  It ticks every box on the crazy-bats list.   * Stolen Pagan Festival. Easter = Oestre – Goddess of the Dawn. Think oestrogen. Oestrus as in heat. HENCE the EGGS.   * Commemorating the death and resurrection of the awesome Jesus Christ. As a vegetarian, anarchist and open-minded dude, he would …

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Vintage washing machine hot model

Mars Funk

Sometimes, when Mars Retrograde in Virgo is really fuqing with your Qi, you just have to pour yourself a tumbler of Blue Devil, fix a bowl of popcorn and head into your laundry cum particle accelerator time machine room for a little bit of ‘me’ time.   Craig McDean – W Magazine

Pulp Fiction Witch

New Age Nasty Chicks: Gerberas Vs Pterodactyls

So i love this cover – it would make an excellent online dating ad if you wanted to target the sort of people who want potions in their house and witches in the bed etc. I think i actually prefer the Vintage Sleaze approach to paganism to the New Ageie ‘Gerbera’ one. In fact, there have been quite a lot of posts here about the sort of dicky, annoying New …

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Transitioning-To-Virgo For Beginners

Miles Aldridge — Wallpaper Magazine Far fuqing out, it’s like everything is shifting into Virgo all of a sudden. First Venus, now the Sun, soon the New Moon, Mercury and then flipping Mars in Virgo for eight centuries or – okay – months but it won’t exactly fly by now will it? Soon this Baccarat crystal tumbler of Black Pearl limited edition cognac will be a something eco-glass full of …

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Clones Of Pluto

Steven Klein US Vogue “…After a few months of Pluto in Capricorn, it became clear that even my considerable multi-tasking skills were not sufficient.  So i had myself cloned. Was it expensive? Absolutely. Though having it off with a senior particle physicist certainly has its perks. Worth it? Totally. Productivity is up 200%.  Scary? No more or less so than my boob job when i had a hangover. Top Tip:  …

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Anouck Lepere, Maria Carla Boscone, Delfine Bafort Hotel Parti

Neptunian Life Coaching Services

So you turn up on time to your appointment at Neptunian Life Coaching Services, list of goals in hand. The place reeks of tuberose, the books on the shelves are all in Modern Sanskrit, and the only one you can read is titled Shedding The Dead – Part 888. The globe on the right is of a different planet altogether. That chick on the left is your geography teacher from …

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