Fifth House people are the least understood ‘crowded house’ segment* in Astrology. Is it the glitter? Their allegiance to Art over all else? That they power-infuse more pure vibe into a single ten-minute flirtatious conversation than most people manage in a decade-long relationship?
They’re sometimes called narcissists but it’s inaccurate. Narcissus was besotted with his reflection to the point that he drowned gazing at his own beauty. He ignored poor Echo, the nymph who loved him. A 5th house person would not let a stunning and loyal nymph lurk in idle Love Zombie mode. She’d be deployed to scout locations, cue the music, and approach wealthy backers to secure funding.
5th House People Are Always In Pre-Production
With 5th house people, there is always a production. Whether their thing is cinema, their ever forming and reforming band, graphic design, fashion, photography, furniture, dance, decor, theatre…they’re always producing something. Big ideas, a definitive look, and awed admirers are not hypothetical luxuries – they are a molecular fuel source.
5th House relationships could be more accurately described as collabs. If creativity called they’d pack up and leave you in the middle of the night to answer. But they wouldn’t care if you did the same, especially if it was a cool pursuit. Stay fabulous and you won’t accrue a single demerit point. It’s not coming from a place of judgment – Fifth housers like people who are inspiring.
Quantum Voodoo Glamor
Why do non-5th-house people put up with them? Their glamor. It’s like they have their own lighting system and, similarly to Leo Rising people, they’re good at Quantum Voodoo merging with the collective subliminal matrix via the camera. If their aura is drab, they can’t think properly or channel their genius. They’re being creative or they’re tuned out. An example: Dinner will either be a smoothie or it will be a concept.
It’s hard to offend 5th house people because they’re self-possessed and confident in their style/creative choices. Every single thing they do involves an artistic process. Your obstacle is their impro cue. They’re not huge on social realism because it messes with their alchemical algorithm. Groove is an emotion.
Groove Is An Emotion
They are not style-obsessed, they’re a conduit for a universal aesthetic field, in much the same way that vicars see themselves as a vehicle for godliness. It’s innate. They’re the toddlers who art-direct their playroom or the child prodigies who put most adults on edge but they don’t know why. They’re creating content and performances from the moment they work out it’s a thing.
Academia seems arid. Their aura doesn’t power up for algebra. They hook the algebra up with the lady mathematician whose father was a silk-manufacturing goldsmith who ran the Bank of France but left her without heat or light at night, to stop her studying. Was Archimedes her spirit guide or her past life? Did she dabble in numerology or read A Vindication Of The Rights Of Women?
They’re The Toddlers Who Art Direct Their Playroom
She cross-dressed – was it purely so she could sneak into physics lectures or was there something else going on? What else did Sophie Germaine get up to when she was Monsieur De Blanc? It’s a song, fashion reference, haiku with numbers, sacred geometry installation…something.
Fifth house children boggle the minds of many teachers: they’re loud, charismatic, and have no creative boundaries. From an early age, they’re good at holding an audience and disinterested in non-imaginative design, people, or ideas. They psychologically identify with superstars, artists, and people who stand out. If there is no artistic outlet, for the time being, they focus on becoming incredibly cool and developing an intimidating veneer.
They Identify With Superstars
Marina Abramovic has the Sun, Mercury, Venus, Mars, and Jupiter in the 5th house: “What you’re doing is not important. What is really important is the state of mind from which you do it. Performance.”
Traditionally, the 5th is also the realm of fertility and romance but the ‘romance’ is not necessarily the pair-bond of the 7th house: it’s eros, the skittish inspirational high you get from fantastic interplays that you don’t have to define or ground in real life. 5th house people passionately attached to their creations, which can include children. If their ambitions are not playing out as they expected, they become stupendously garish stage parents or unsolicited Director of Photography for any social occasion.
The Human Version Of Party Rock Anthem
But really, they’re life-enhancers. People who snark about their loudness or concept-costuming also rely on the 5th houses’ ability to switch up the atmosphere in any room. They’re like human Party Rock Anthem. And remember that the word ‘inspire’ originally meant that a supernatural being would breathe into you, invigorating you with magic. This lot lives for that.
The word ‘diva’ does not mean ‘demanding talent’ – it’s from ‘divine’ and it is also referencing the Buddhist concept of Devas – magical beings. Donna Summer, who had the Sun, Moon, Mercury, Jupiter, and Mars in the 5th, was the pre-eminent Seventies diva. She’s best known for her iconic performances (I Feel Love and Love To Love You) but she co-wrote and produced her music and, of course, had an extraordinary, ineffable talent.
Diva Does Not Mean “Demanding.”
Her specialty? Recording songs in one take and high-concept albums that would invariably have the title changed by the record company. Eg: Mixmag reported that her album I Remember Yesterday was supposed to be named after the novel it was based on – Anthony Powell’s A Dance To The Music Of Time.
An aside: Her co-producer describes how he went to Summer’s house to finish writing the soon-to-be club hit I Feel Love, only to find her on the phone. She appeared after three hours: “Look, I’m really really sorry but I’ve been on the phone to my astrologer in New York. We were discussing my relationship,” she explained.
“She was with a guy called Peter Mühldorfer but she’d just met Bruce Sudano of Brooklyn Dreams, who she’d fallen for,” recalls the co-producer. “She called the astrologer because she wanted to go through Bruce’s star sign and charts; the astrologer had decided that she had to go with Bruce. She came down and said, ‘I’ve made my decision’.”Then she delivered the song in one take.
‘I Feel Love’ Was Neptune Conjunct Donna Summer’s Venus
The transit in question? Well, it looks like Neptune conjunct Venus, your go-to for Mists of Avalon style love triangles.
Another classic 5th House indicator courtesy of Donna Summer? Composing – on the fly. Nightline asked her about She Works Hard For The Money. “I was at a Grammys party and I went to the ladies’ room and on my way in I saw this little old lady sitting at the end of the bar. And she was asleep. She was the bathroom attendant. And at that same moment, a group of ladies walked into the room and started spraying their hair and doing all these things.
And my first thought was ‘God, she works hard for her money, that lady.'” “And then I thought, ‘Man, that’s a song. So I went and grabbed my manager and we went back into the bathroom and started writing the song on a piece of toilet paper.”
Sequins, Voluminous Hair, Flowers Everywhere And Glossy Everything
She fought for full input into her music and image, to respond to her inspirations, and the new gay/disco/style scene she’d seemingly summoned up with a click of her glittery jaffa-orange fingernails. She was big on sequins, voluminous hair, flowers, and glossy everything.
Some dwell on her later switch to fundamentalist Christianity and alleged renunciation of her music/her audience but looking at her extraordinary line up in the 5th, I think she was more devastated by being unable to retain creative control than many appreciated at the time.
If she came back now, with social media and the social climate to call out skeeves or write meaningful songs, she would rule. And in the realm of style, art, and performance, 5th housers do.
Here are some more 5th House people to help illustrate the genre:
Nick Cannon – Venus, Uranus, Jupiter, Neptune, and Mercury.
Timothee Chalamet – Sun, Mars, Mercury, Neptune, and Uranus.
Sulamith Wulfing – Uranus, Venus, Jupiter, Saturn, and Mercury.
Juliette Greco – Sun, Mercury, Jupiter, and Venus.
Will Smith – Sun, Jupiter, Uranus, and Pluto.
Stephen Sondheim – Mercury, Sun, Uranus, and Venus.
Dame Judi Dench – Mercury, Venus, and Sun.
Young Thug – Sun, Jupiter, Mercury, Venus, and Mars.
Enrique Agudo – Venus, Pluto, Eros.
Mozart – Saturn, Sun, and Mercury.
RuPaul – Sun, Moon, Mercury, and Neptune.
Tallulah Bankhead – Sun, Mars, and Mercury.
Dr. Dre – Moon, Mars, Uranus, and Pluto.
Bob Dylan – Moon, Jupiter, Saturn, and Uranus.
Michelangelo Antonioni – Mercury, Sun, Mars, and Venus.
Vivienne Westwood – Saturn, Jupiter, and Uranus.
William Blake – Sun, Mercury, Jupiter, and Neptune.
Calvin Harris – Mercury, Venus, Jupiter, Neptune, and Uranus.
Yoko Ono – Sun, Mercury, Venus, and North Node.
Bruce Springsteen – Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, and Neptune.
Tyra Banks – Sun, Mercury, North Node, and Neptune.
Alexander McQueen – Moon, Sun, and North Node.
*A crowded house is more correctly called a stellium – three or more astro-anythings in one house. As a lot of interesting people don’t have their birth time on public record, I can’t zoom in and go super niche on this. You can read about the Ninth House people here. Or browse everything tagged The Houses in Astrology.
Donna Summer – Backstage at a television special in 1982. Photographer Unknown – tell me if you know!