Ask Mystic – A Soulmating Dilemma

Dear Mystic,

I have a soulmating report dilemma. I’ve been in love with my best friend for almost a year now, and I made the terrible mistake of doing a soulmating report for us (such a fabulous report by the way, such cool details!). We have 14 connections, North Node conjunctions and trines galore. My friend is already partnered though, and since they are unavailable, I started dating someone a few months ago.

I made the second terrible mistake of downloading a soulmating report for my new partner and myself. But to my surprise, we only have two links, and one of them is Venus Square Saturn, which is as much a warning as anything. I was surprised because I didn’t realise that perhaps it’s unusual to have as many links as I do with my best friend. Now I’m in a love pickle. Should I ignore the friend report and pretend it never happened and hope things work out with the new partner despite all the stars that seem to suggest I have the deepest connections with my unavailable bestie? 

Yours sincerely,

Sad Moon 

Dear Sad Moon,

You are so ahead of the Venus in Gemini curve! That is classically Love Triangles galore! So, these are not “terrible mistakes” and nothing bad is really happening here. And, the Soulmating Links are not necessarily compatibility indicators. There are people who have heaps of them and practically palpable fate lines pulsing between them like neon geomancy spells. But they’re not together. And other couples have three or less and are clocking up their umpteenth anniversary.

Fourteen is a lot though. I think the most I could find was between Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward.

So leaving aside the Soulmating report and its results, how are you going with your new partner? Do you lie awake at night watching the stars and wondering if your ‘best friend’ is too? Was the new lover meant to be the cure? Does your 14-link person know how you feel? Ultimately, if a whole sector of your heart is walled off and reserved for someone else, your new partnership won’t work out as such. Or it will, but it would be hollow.

Reports like soulmating illuminate and inform, but YOU are the best judge of you. It’s one thing if your regard for your official partner is simply more grounded in real-life than the crush on the friend but there is a connection there. But if you’re trying to build structure into a lie, fool yourself or pique the jealousy of another – pull up. And, anticipate plot twists with Venus into Gemini for months and Retrograde!

What does everyone else think?

Image: Konstantin Somov – Enchantment

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Wish Upon a Star



The soul mating links are picklesome. I have 9, not very interesting links with my Gem Hub. Largely Saturn/SN related. It’s the best! But less links might be creative space? Mystic says about the highly linked, “They’re reset people for one another. The chemistry (and sometimes chaos) generated between them is a catalyst for evolution at Warp Speed”. Ok, cool, but not awesome for a situation involving shared funds, kids and trust levels. Separately, nice to see you Psuedo Intellectuals astro-bitching as usual. It is amazing to see the the magical sophistication of thought in free flow and the beautiful… Read more »


“ love pickle” sounds like it would go great with cheese and a Waldorf salad.. or a curry; one of those weird pickles, that goes with everything




I’ve always found that fantasy relationships are far better than real life ones!!


True of some of mine that’s for sure 😂


Jimi Hendrix & I are off the charts 🔥
His own asteroid is *exactly* on my 8th H Lilith – or should i say, *under* my Lilith…. hence Wild Thing.


I recall there was a post on this some time ago CM (nice update btw).

Me and Jim have Sol conj exact (which is SN also) and his Venus/Merc also conj. His NN conj IC, Uranus on NN. His asteroid trines the NN and I think probably some asteroids… haven’t gone into detail or .. competition 😉

I am a mollydooker guitar player… was only ever interested in channelling the sound.


That is an *impressive* cluster of conjunctions you two sinistrals have going on – which is in fact all trine my Moon-MC.

Well, his NN-Chiron is on my Venus-Vesta-Regulus; and his SN is on my Chiron… (Sexual Healing soundtrack playing in my head for some reason 😉 )

Hey but wait – that means that your IC is conjunct my Venus-Vesta …oooh baby … seriously simpatico charts we 3 got goin on here!

Btw, was it you who won the bag of mushrooms in that Hendrix competition post? i loved that post.


All that action you’ve pointed out is sextile my Jupiter which is on his DC. Hahaha… what a trio! I recall Madam Tussauds bringing out a heap of waxy folk a couple of decades back. I went to check it out with a friend. She’s not as tall as me and what still stands out about that memory for me was the height of everyone. I felt like I was towering over most of these celebs and only recall looked 3 in the eye. Jimi, Harrison and Joanna Lumley. Anyway, I digress and no it was not me who won… Read more »


Love this
‘Scuse me, while I kiss the sky’



OMG soul mating dilemmas. Do you really, truly actually want one? Because in my experience it’s a head fuq from noon until sun up. Mind you I admit to being a very difficult woman to be in a relationship with (heaps of Aqua all conjunct on my midheaven). Then there’s the Uranian shizz, the loudmouth Mercury shizz conjunct my Asc and of course good old Sagg moon, which pisses everyone off – including me – the poor Cancer stuck in the middle of my weird arse chart … don’t ask. When I met my partner in 2015 it was bazinga… Read more »


Yes they’re not 5rh house romps and hilariously described.
Humour being a kind of mandatory survival skill requirement for karmic connections


It’s funny coz our names both start with the letter “C”. So when we’re good we’re Team CC …. when we’re having one of our conniptions, well this is his latest rap:

My girl’s called C*****
and the full moon’s whack
I’m a bit scared
That she’s gonna crack a spack
Gotta knife in her hand
And her chef hat on,
I better shut up
Or my nuts will be gone

(chorus using my voice)
Fuq off C, Fuq off C
Ffffffffffffff fuq off C!
~scratchy noises hip hop style~


LOL!! I have a couple of folk where we’re quite spontaneous with making up songs on the spot and sometimes using different voices or imitating instruments etc. It’s good fun 😉 A pre coffee laugh is a rare thing here I’m not usually ready And I don’t really care But I won’t crack a spack I’ll enjoy all the feels Coz a laugh’s a good hack To combat this Achilles heel (ch) It’s the pull of the bull Not the arrow shot full It’s the pull of the bull Not the arrow shot full Yeah – you can thank ‘crack… Read more »


Meanwhile I’m trying to brunoise an onion and giggling so hard that I nearly slice my finger off!


Damn, so you need to read the last post first and then the middle and then this one *face palm*


FWIW I have venus opposite saturn with my partner (he’s the saturn) and it provides longevity/stability, and we have a bunch of other supportive aspects (like double moon conjunct mercury) to smooth over any harshness from it, so venus square saturn doesn’t have to be terrible. While your best friend is in a relationship you have to treat them as a best friend would – with a sincere desire for their happiness. That means not creeping on them for the time being. If you like your new relationship person enough to keep seeing them, keep seeing them. Things will either… Read more »


Libra sun here saying ditch the rebound heart tonic and talk to your damn friend. If poly isnt on the table then maybe just sit with it and think about whether you were lovers in a past life and you need to learn something here. Gold advice from mystic of course

Be your own lover I suggest.


Pisces Merc Retro Moment : got a soulmating report on Friday, then realised I ordered one for us late 2018…THEN WONDERED WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED to the multiple soulmating aspects i remember reading AND the earlier report. Truly wondered if I had imagined the entire earlier report over the entire weekend 0_0

Just found it and checked them both. Erm, i accidentally put my birthdate as 2020 on Friday’s report, so like i’m not even born yesterday, still incubating in utero.


I wonder what the hell happened often 😁

nush ciel

OMG. i hear you. Best advice; if it’s meant to be it will be. Meanwhile, no substitutes, not fair on them. You know, just cos we have a connexion with someone, or they are in our lives, doesn’t mean they’ll stay/ forever.. Or that anything has to come of it . They’ve chosen their current partner for a reason. You might wanna research Soul Contracts. Do a lot more self exploration and see if you can identify past-life schizz behind this infatuation. Oh, and people don’t always remember or honour their Soul contracts_ be like,” I vaguely might maybe remember… Read more »


It’s sobering to realise that many strong connections, though magnetic, enchant us in ways that are destructive to ourselves and others. Don’t partners need to be best friends. which, of necessity, precludes others from being our being best friend. I’ll never forget when, after 20 years of partnership, my ex finally admitted that he’d started cheating and said “I told her all about you”. It cut like a knife. Even though I’d sensed the betrayal. It was a shock to hear those words. Obviously, he’d found a new best friend. They were discussing me and we’d never even met! Trust… Read more »


Lovely and wise response Lucia


You started a relationship because bestie was unavailable ? Ummm. Let’s move on … You fell in love with your bestie 12 months ago. How long had you been friends before that ? I’m assuming a while ? So what happened 12 months ago ? For you and bestie ? I’m sorry but there are facts, realities and there are myths, fantasies. Maybe you’re choosing the latter and turning a blind eye to some basic facts. That can be fun for you but if it sort of leaks out into the real world and the real people involved it can… Read more »


Wow, this Piscean is both intrigued, learning from and horrified by this analogy! The first two options show a lot about 12th house projections and unhealthy self-indulgence, don’t they?


Ok, I get the deeper wisdom behind the I Ching and y’know maybe I dont but couldn’t you also simply let the fish swim free in a practice of non attachment | something not needing to be held?

And NO this is not meant to be a red rag to a ram 😜


The fish is the fantasy, he’s married, he’s my best friend, I’m in love with him and the Astro proves it, while I work out my current squeeze is not really my match. Blah blah . So feeding that to the ‘guests’ ( bestie, his wife, my boyfriend etc) will certainly disrupt lives. Eating the fish yourself ? That just disrupts your life. Putting it in a bowl isolates it and removes it from the possibility of disrupting anyone.


Oh and yes, mich better to just let it go but not sure if she’s ready for that 😬


Got ya 😎 – and so obvious but wasn’t sinking in today. I think I was in just let it go mode because even if I can’t but am of the view that’s what is best then that’s the way I’ll orientate even if it aint quite the clean cut or direct path I’m hoping for. But yes, we have to be ready for that and when ‘that’ involves popping our self created illusions it is not always as simple as saying it.


I love the putting it in an aquarium/ gorgeous big pond/ lake/ bejewelled glass ceiling crystal encrusted water feature with tropical plants and slow moving prehistoric creatures in perpetual motion idea because we never “really” get free of our obsessions/ compulsions/ addictions I suspect. As I understand things we are a bit fuqued if we think just knowing something means we understand it. To me that would be another delusion that makes us weak and the “enemy” of truth? stronger. Err Isn’t it more Sysiphean to confront it anew every day as it were and outwit the monster / enemy… Read more »


I am living for this comment. And the fish / unhealthy fantasy analogy is the trues thing I’ve read online in ages. Yes! Hmmm, can an analogy be more true than say a scientific fact? I believe so. Archtypal fiction is more true than fact imo and more alive. Digression feels appropriate during this amazing MR, is anyone else finding it astonishingly profound? A few days ago was woken from a dream by the revelation that I FINALLY understood the meaning of my first terrifying nightmare. This particular dream and it’s nuanced metaphors has bothered me subliminally every time I… Read more »

Love Merkuri

I only have 3 links to my current partner and this relationship has been the one where I’ve felt the most connected, free and most adventurous than my last two long term relationships. I was delighted with the description provided under each soulmate link.
But…don’t be with someone if you have stronger feelings for someone else.
It’s not fair on either people involved.


Yeah ‘all is fair in love and war’ is the second worst saying of all time.
The worst ? ‘It’s all good’


Yes, without all that heavy karma-drama, of COURSE you’re free to adventure and connect beautifully. And to keep on doing so as you both grow, freely.


You should tell your friend how you feel, and you should never be wasting someone’s time by being with them if you’re not invested in them. There is a third option you don’t seem to be considering where it’s don’t be with either of them. Time alone and unattached brings clarity and allows you to observe how you yourself can improve and become a person worthy of the person you would one day like to match with. You don’t need to discover yourself with other people’s help.


“Time alone and unattached brings clarity and allows you to observe how you yourself can improve and become a person worthy of the person you would one day like to match with. You don’t need to discover yourself with other people’s help.” THIS IS IT!! Especially having the goal of leveling up to a future better self and/or partnering situation. Primarily the leveling up of self. Also, it is not easy and if you have any Saturn working for you, USE IT. Saturn is your best long-term guide in a situation like this. As well as self-compassion/satisfaction …is that a… Read more »


The Soulmate reports are so spot on and thoughtful. I found them astounding! So I wasn’t just imagining it all….phew. And I’m really glad the term soulmate is not just about the constant obsession with marriage like partnerships and romances. And I’m very reassured to hear you bring the questions that come up, back to the day to day feel and understanding of the choices we have already made. I found these reports so enlightening!!! Again, I am so grateful you do what you do Mystic. Thanks


I have a best friend soulmate that I am not able to have a romantic relationship with as well!! We have 9 links on the Soulmating report + a Mars/Mars trine and Venus opposition with Saturn conjunct. SO. I feel this all really intensely. We met when we were adolescents – not even really teenagers – and were wildly in love with each other as the platonic ideal for all of our youth. And then the stars appeared to align in our early 20s and we assumed we were heading for a lifetime of wedded bliss and….. …. …. ….we… Read more »


When I reason/think so much about something is just because my heart isn’t in it. I am not saying yours isn’t. This is just me. When I started dating online last year, I swore to myself I wasn’t going to check any of the guy’s birth charts. I kept my word and to this day – though of some of them I also knew the rising because they had told me and I could have run their birth chart in seconds – I am still very happy I didn’t do it. None of them is around now so why bothering.… Read more »


Soulmate karma can also be huge stress points in the fabulous building that looks so designer-cool.

Unicorn Sparkles

This just made me think of “my best friends wedding”.


Hmmmm. connections are connections and they happen with literally everyone you ever meet. Some of them are “run for the hills” vibe and others are instant hit vibe. Love at first sight exists but may pan out to be nothing more but at least you know it exists. You have to practice the art of feeling all but being attached to nothing. easier said than done. But you can do it. Love the feelings but detach unless it becomes a thing for real and then do not ever ever expect it to last until in this realm forever. Again if… Read more »


Some mutual loves do last for ever – at least in this life time, as unrealistic as it’s painted these days. I’ve witnessed a few pair bonded lovers who have loved each other for 50-70+ yrs, till death parted them. They weren’t just together because of societal pressure or parental duty or anything other than love, mutual admiration & enormous respect for each other. For some, adversity strengthened their bond even more. And they all still twinkled with playfulness even in their 80s & 90s. I know they seem to be the exception rather than the rule, but they do… Read more »


oh I know this is true but as I said even then, mostly one will still leave, as in die. It’s very rare for a notebook scenario where they go together. But again this has happened. All I’m advocating is that you don’t aim for this or set a holy grail you just experience each connection you have as unique and special. It may be ever lasting it may never truly get going. I’m just wary these days about the notion that we can all have these unicorn relationships.


Sure, i’m-a-hearing ya, & underneath it all we might even be violently agreeing with each other. I’m just averse to absolutist statements these days – be they “real love lasts 4 evah” or “nothing lasts for ever”. Love & relationships mean different things to different people – that’s the whole damn human conundrum. But it certainly doesn’t help that women have been victims of a brutal 2000+ yrs propaganda campaign by the established patriarchal religions/systems to keep us under control, by perpetrating the Prince Charming/ knight in shining armour myth.


Oh boy am I getting more and more angry at that sheer injustice of the past few thousand years and its continuation into today FFS! But I do feel however that we have to use our new voice in a calm and wise way. We cannot let machismo infiltrate us. Best of luck with your journey into power.


Thank you, you too & your journey into sunnier climes!

Wish Upon a Star

The actor Paul Rudd really lights my fire so I thought I would have a bit of fun do a soulmate compatibility. My moon conjuncts his asteroid Pan. No wonder there is fire. We bring out each other’s inner pagan wild deities. He is Pan and I am the Goddess. Lol. My Venus trines his Neptune. It’s a high for music, poetry, cinema and each other. My Venus conjunct his Ascendant. The relationship is a magic mirror and our hearts are old friends. How sweet. But this is where it goes awry. My Venus squares he’s Saturn. So he dampens… Read more »


I’ve done this too just out of interest with folk I have had an instant hit on, namely movie types etc and without a doubt there are the connections as bold as you like. Humans connect with other, we have a knowing but if you think about it we are tribal or community creatures and must have an ability to feel each other out.

Wish Upon a Star

Yes we do have a knowing EMG.


This kind of thing can be an interesting exercise.

I’ve been contemplating a couple of folk myself but no time of birth. I can’t recall whether the time is essential for this or if it’s more sign/aspect as I only did one report quite some time ago.

Do you need the birth time?

Wish Upon a Star

I was lucky Centaurus. The birth time for this dude was given and was accurate.


Thanks Wish – I did kind of suspect that but when it’s a reconnaissance the times are missing for some dates. I guess I could always make one up and just ignore the houses and just review the aspects. Hmmm maybe and… maybe not 😄 Every thing might just be exactly as it needs to be.

Wish Upon a Star

Centaurus my knowledge of astrology is probably beginners to intermediate. I do know that if you have the birth time it’s pretty much a full chart. If you don’t I don’t know how much it affects the chart information besides not knowing the Ascendant.

And yes I agree everything is as it needs to be.


Yeah it’ll be the angles and houses. I had a look at the one I have and figure it’s a sort of 50-50 on what I’ll get but will contain more than my epheremis can give me and then can I be bothered looking other stuff up etc.. I think I was probs being a bit lazy Wish. Lol. I have the resources and ability to do it but was probs looking for a quick answer. Thanks for.replying 🙂


Hi there Sad Moon! I have 11 Soulmating links with my best friend. I text him first thing in the morning, literally before my eyes focus, otherwise I always hear from him. We text each other during the day to tell each other we love each other. We have synchronicities where we’ll text/call/etc and then WOOP there he or I am. I constantly buy him weepy presents to surprise him. We go on jaunts together like the Owl and the Pussycat, local or overseas. We ring each other when we need a shoulder or just some human connection. I am… Read more »


Personally, I believe that you can love many people at once. That there isn’t one Soul Mate, but many Soul Connections. Once I accepted that I can feel the love for more than one and enjoy that love differently in different arenas of my life. I particularly love the model of ‘Relationship Anarchy’ that proposes that you get different things from different people, and suggests we should let go of old outdated labels. As someone whom is polyamorous, I would just enjoy the feelings and relationships with both. And accept that they are with someone else and just enjoy their… Read more »


This, I reckon. You don’t need to be pair bonded with them. But believe me, i feel what youre saying! Oh also since you’re feeling this so very much, and hugs btw, if you can get your hands on a copy of this (sorry for ridic long link, everyone) : I have found this incredibly useful for getting my head around a connection (or not) with someone. Often it lines up with the astro too, sometimes it adds more to the story that sparks the ah-ha. I have to add a LZ trigger warning though. Much like knowing someone’s… Read more »


bestie turns into worstie when in the hypothetical relationship. hence lose bestie.
current flame burns out when the ‘bestie fantasy fuel’ runs out.
move into the future with your supercool authentic loving aligned available partner that’s yet to appear because of the nature of the blocking ‘half plus half equals half’ manouvre


I’d recommend an extensive analysis of why are you in love with your best friend: is it a classic case of them projecting qualities you’d like to develop? is it because they bring novelty/excitement into your life? In my experience, crushes on best friends tend to have some psychological developent vibe behind all the feels. If that’s not the case, the analysis would help you evaluate what you want in a s.o., your current relationship and how to make it work (if you do want it to work, that is). About the 14 astro links, you and your bestie already… Read more »


1 link – his Moon on my Pluto/Uranus 33 years a few close links. Actually his IC on my Jupiter I must investigate


Why are you with your current partner? Is it because they are awesome and you love being around them and you can really feel that they feel the same about you? Because if that’s the case but you’re holding back because of your unresolved feelings for your friend, I advise to give the new partner a serious chance. I let a really great potential relationship go because I didn’t think it was ‘fair’ to him that I still had feelings for an ex. If I’d have given him a shot instead, I’d have got over my ex right quick because… Read more »


Hmmm soul links aside, is it a good idea to date anyone if you are in love with someone else? It doesn’t sound like you’ve stopped being in love with them and that doesn’t sound fair on yourself or your new partner. It also kind of reads like you’re looking for an out. Would you still be feeling discontented with your new partner if you’d found the same number of soul links in that report? Also, is this situation something that you’ve been in before? Venus retro is a great time to get a grip on patterns. Always being in… Read more »


My Venus is in Gemini with it retrograde how bad is it for me?

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