Yule Can’t Fool Me

Santa with Audrey Hepburn

Hark everybody! I know I speculated that Santa is a Sagittarius but I legit think something more sinister is going on.

Here we have Capricorn season, a time when many people want to be temperate and goals-focussed.

But no, a strange spectre haunts public spaces across many cities and towns. I’d say wraith but Santa Claus – an archetypal patriarch – is ‘designed’ to take up space.

He is imposing, portrayed as a senior (with the wise elder white beard part of the get-up) and has free licence to hug women and children in public. Supposedly, he is the arbiter of ‘good’ and ‘bad.’

Santa Claus classically laughs – “ho, ho, ho” – is this the laughter of fake bonhomie that masks denial or being cut off from your root emotions? Entitlement?

And he walks around ringing a bell. Marching people through cities for penance was common in the medieval era, and yes they rang a bell. Cersei Lannister’s “shame” walk in Game Of Thrones happened all the time.

It seems inappropriate and, if we have to have a ritual patriarchal figure each Saturnalia, why not an interesting one? Merlin? Odin? Horus? The Yule Goat?


“The Druids taught their disciples many things about nature and the perfections of God, and that, there was only one God, the Creator of heaven and earth. One name, under which they worshiped him, was Esus or Hesus (“He,” in Celtic meaning, “Lord”) or Harits which is their name for Horus…”

~Julius Caesar from [Signs and Symbols of Primordial Man, by Albert Churchward circa 1912] [Page 186]


Image: Milton H Greene – Audrey Hepburn with Santa

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Interesting. According to Ophiuchus, the Sun transits Sagittarius December 19 – January 19…


I haven’t read the comments so apologies if I’m repeating what others have said but yes, he gives me the massive creeps. The beard and generic old white guy with licence to touch me and even put me on his knee? Super scary! Who else gets to offer gifts to multiple kids in shopping malls while essentially covering half his face and pretenting to be the same guy- all of them, in every shopping centre? To ask if I’ve been good with skinky whiskey breath while I cringe because he has no regard for my personal space and is clearly… Read more »


UM. How often do you find yourself interacting with mall Santas? I mean, I have not since the 70s and never–not once–found it necessary as an adult. Mall Santa may be lame, but it can be a good seasonal gig for comedians and older men out of work who may only be able to get seasonal gigs because ageism is real. Maybe you didn’t mean it this way, but this reads like you just seem to keep “finding yourself” in some drunk dude’s lap. OR like the ramblings of an anti-rock n’ roll church lady who is obviously getting off… Read more »


Log out of USA Santa mentality and into Saami Shaman world and you may get a kick out of Santa? I assume we read the same memes, but in case we didn’t: Apparently the shaman’s totem is a reindeer. To celebrate winter solstice the shaman goes out and collects red mushrooms with white spots – fly agaric – and feeds them to his reindeer. In honour of the mushroom he wears red with white and as it is snowing dons blackened reindeer hide boots when he leaves. The reindeer love the mushrooms, it makes them jump and prance. The shaman… Read more »


THANK YOU. I was *just* talking about this with a Muggle and saying how people tend to believe Jesus was a Leo–but that Santa, in his “jolly” persona, seems like a repurposing of Father Christmas who is a much more taciturn-ie, Capricornian– figure: Wise, keeping lists of your yearly accounts in the karma department, distributing awards accordingly, lives in a remote, ascetic location, with a bunch of industrious employees. There’s a whole bunch of weird stuff in this mix–St. Nick was a real dude apparently and his collapse into Santa Claus in the US happened because of Dutch Settlers in… Read more »


I love the figure of Santa Claus. He is a benevolent aka Jupiter and like all benevolence it comes with its own responsibilities. Nothing in life is without its responsibilities. He comes to the house because he has been invited in. We can all at this time of year for what ever reason, invite in some good, positive and expansive energy. Joy to the World…please.


Santa is totally Jupiterian


No. I just can’t go hating on Santa…..
Aside from the horrible over-commercialisation…and the creepy photo scene set-ups with him in shopping malls…I feel he is a positive guy. He means well.
Remember everyone, he’s watching you! X


there is so much good intention around xmas
easter even
oh, and the queens birthday .
warms the heart
and amnesia certified to boot!
the carrot and stick of inclusion


One of the historical/religious figures that Santa Claus is deemed to be connected with, or come from, is St NIcholas who is the patron saint of children (hence bringing of presents and encouraging them to “stay on good behaviour”, as well as looking over them and knowing what trouble they’re up to). I recently saw a rather disturbing (to me, rather darkly hilarious, to be honest) triptic of medieval engravings in the National Gallery of Scottland that showed different stages and achievements of St Nicholas’s life, and the one that showed him performing a miracle was described as “St Nicholas… Read more »


wow! St. Nick is a bad-ass!

Mistress of Mirrors

Just Google “nuuttipukki” and you find a creepy one. In Finnish culture nuuttipukkis were really scary and would harm animals and apparently even take children. Nuuttipukki translates to Nuutti (refers to the 6th of January) and bock or goat. Santa in Finnish is joulupukki which is basically yule bock or yule goat. We just replaced the bad guy with the commercial guy. But Santa is as creepy as Nuuttipukki if you ask me. Watch the movie “Rare exports”, A funny/scary Christmas movie about the bad yule bock that the Sami People buried in a lake in Lapland.


I love that film!


As I understand it Santa Klaus is a legit northern European construct, Dutch maybe? But wasn’t the Santa (as we know him today, ie, red and white get-up etc) designed by Coke some time in the 50s or 60s? I’m not sure where it came from but my family (originally from England) refers to him as ‘Father Christmas’ which I much prefer to what seems to be to be the horribly commercial ‘Santa’. Very interesting examination of the whole Santa schmeer though Mystic, food for thought indeed (not that I need any ore food right now!)


Sinterklaas and his assistant Zwarte Piet indeed Dutch but celebrated in France, Belgium, and Luxembourg. The celebration takes place on Dec. 6th.
I love all the various versions of Saint Nick and of course, we cannot forget the Krampus!


Yes and he is fat and has a red face and breaks into your home at night while you are sleeping. No thanks.


Perhaps the symbolism of Santa is becoming outdated, I see your points. Santa is a non issue for me, we just tell the children he’s a symbol and that he’s not real. Kinda unpopular with some folks but whatever. Personally, I’m not a fan of the way all sense of ‘magic’ gets encapsulated in one mythical stuff-giver once a year.

Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot

I love an astro gaga, it’s been too long


Personally, I think the solstice is a more important celebration. It occurs in Europe just before their world is plunged into ice and snow, and served as a beautiful beacon of hope: A reminder that light will come again, once the darkness has passed. Whereas, Christmas is based on a lie. (I’m thinking that’s a great metaphor for our current civilisation!) I still remember how shocked I was at 7 to be told that Santa wasn’t real, knowing instantly this was true. It’s like we set kids up to destroy their belief in magic these days. And that is so… Read more »


I just read a mother get torn down by other mothers online because she said she taught her kid that the presents came from her working hard and saving up all year. Because kids should be allowed to believe a lie until they realise it’s a lie, not see how much their mum loves them. Effed up!


I hope she knows that she’s not the only one who chooses to teach her children this way. You can give your child a sense of magic and whimsy without the myth of Santa.


I don’t know, I love it all. I think hating Christmas is related to how you are perceiving everything at that given moment. I have had many grinchy, fuq the materialist bullshit and forced cheer and familial love years. But as a pagan leaning, panpsychist witch raised by atheist parents who celebrated all of the material gusto of the season and with deeply Christian friends, I really love all of the aspects or the season. The reverence for the darkness and vigil for the light, the mystery of three magi following a star to find a baby meant to be… Read more »


Definitely agree with ‘going with the flow’ of what feels right from year to year. That’s the way to enjoy without listening to the extraneous noise, both literally and non.

Unicorn Sparkles

At age 6 I was introduced to Krampus … which as a kid was kinda like a Yule time only Satan. That shit scared me.
It numbs you to the whole older stranger bringing you gifts thing.

Lady Jane

as someone who frequents the creative cultures, have come to love krampus – have loved horror movies prior, love that it scared you ~ it’s amazing that he still represents balance, something this time of year has no hold on. feel outside of myself not participating in all the madness for once, yet it’s still astonishing that multitudes only believe that it’s good enough to be nice once a year. where is that guy when you need him?

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