There is a peculiar syndrome that can strike after Saturn Return and before Uranus Opposition. A.K.A. during your Thirties. That is the phase when people can become a Bride of Saturn – yes, any gender.
And while the astrological Saturn has benefits, being a Bride of Saturn is not desirable. In fact, the more married to Saturn you are during your Thirties, the weirder and more destabilizing the Uranus Opposition. Your early 40s will be more like a messy divorce from Saturn.
What does being a Bride of Saturn entail?
- Tribal Allegiance – they align their values with whatever group or structure they see as most robust and narrow their perspective to function only within those confines. The exclusion of people who don’t belong is how they affirm their inclusion. Brides of Saturn are also big on visible totems of belonging. Once upon a time, they were luxury goods status-symbols; these days they are more subtle. But they’re there, along with a coded lingo to become fluent in. Whatever the tribe in question, you either speak the language or you don’t. Nobody translates. Ever.
You Can Only Be A Bride Of Saturn After Saturn Return
- Ageism – it sounds odd because the era just after Saturn Return is when people are conscious of no longer being automatically deemed young. Brides of Saturn envy early 20-somethings their nonchalant decadence and less weighted mating matrix while also feeling they can retain the look and vibe of their pre-Saturn-Return years. They’re competitive with younger people. Why? Because they’re got a cool you can only have when you’re not striving for it, along with fewer responsibilities. They could technically breeze in with smoother thighs/more Human Growth Hormone and appeal to the Bride of Saturn’s high-value partner. But the B.O.S. is also hostile to those in their 40s and beyond who seem to have “given up.” They relaxed their guard and accepted failure in the form of wrinkles, delinquent children, relationship eruptions and natural hair.
They’re All-Terrain Status Signalers
- Status Anxiety – After Saturn Return, many people crave more stability and to build a solid foundation for their life. But the Brides of Saturn step that up into crazy obsession with their personal brand optics. They’re all-terrain status signalers – on the school run, at Pilates, three glasses of wine in. If they are earning top dollar (or sleeping with it), they’ll divert funds into alleviating the Status Anxiety. If they have less cash flow, debt makes up the difference between desire and reality.
Calculating And Relentless
- Paranoia – Being a Bride of Saturn means never being entirely sure of your niche. People are entirely like you and so safe or they are aspirational. Others are either threats or irrelevant. That’s it. As failure to swiftly sum up which is which could be costly, the B.O.S. wastes zero time on people deemed irrelevant. It’s calculating and relentless. Being a Bride of Saturn is also frustrating – they are continually seeking tranquility or spiritual insight just so long as they don’t have to deal with truth, jagged emotions or their bonsai relationships. The Solution? Serenity Signaling or trying to induce Phantom Deficit Syndrome in other people.
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