Dating After Chiron Return?

Bea Arthur in alien bar

It must be Venus in Libra. Or Saturn Fatigue from the Karma Cop having been on the South Node so long. Hormones in plastic? Whatever the reason, people are asking about Chiron Return dating all of a sudden. Like the better-known Saturn Return, Chiron Return is cyclical. It occurs to everyone in their late 40s and early 50s. Chiron returns to where it was when you were born. It’s like cracking your own code.

Some people have called Chiron a bridge between Saturn and Uranus and in a weird way, Chiron Return embodies that. It has the eccentricity of Uranus Opposition but none of the wildness; maybe because there is no way you’re going to hare halfway across the world (or town even) for sex or dubious validation.

But it’s got that Uranian edge of not remotely caring for how people/society perceive your choices. And then it has a spiritual gravity and gentle confrontation of the facts which feels super-Saturnine.

Chiron Return Dating Tips

There are obviously no shoulds or should-nots in the world of Chiron Return Dating but here are some broad tips.

* Being at Chiron Return means you’re seasoned and presumably have well-honed instincts from decades of dealing with d-heads, trolls, litigants, exes turned toxic and standover tactics in boardrooms or backstage, where-ever. Money, health and existential crisis situations that would previously have had you in a spinning frenzy are now mere irritants. So, if you think someone seems suss, they probably are.

* If you want to abdicate from dating/mating to spend time and energy on self-love, travel, creativity, reading, compassionate causes, friends/kids, animals, a solitary spiritual path or any combination of the above, do it. There is no obligation to have “a companion” – no matter what lifestyle inserts and insurance ads try to imply. It’s no more an indicator of psychological wellness than being a parent or not being a parent. And, some people stay in horrendous dynamics to avoid facing themselves or the social pariah status (they imagine) of singlehood.

* Grifters assume that anyone past Chiron Return is loaded and that only some carefully applied sycophancy or sensual patter stands between them and your cash or other resources. Lol. Flick them as soon as it is apparent. It’s not that you’re seeking wealthy people to spend quality time with – it’s more that financial sanity and independence are imperative.

They Know Nothing About You But You Could Win A Quiz Show With Them As The Subject

* Beware Energy Vampires. After even just a bit of to and fro messaging, you know so much about the person that you could win a quiz show with them as the subject. “Yes!” This is when you bang the buzzer that signals you know the answer. “At the age of 9, they moved interstate but didn’t like the house because it was weatherboard.”  Next question – you know the answer again. “I know the ex-wife’s occupation and where she went to school!” If the conversation is totally skewed toward them or you realize that you’re expected to be an unpaid therapist, flick them. If that’s them in “courtship” mode, imagine what it would be like when familiarity set in.

* If you don’t like the concept of online dating, or, if you are going to be online, you’d rather be reading interesting articles – consider a broader approach. Set out to widen your social circles and meet more “you” type people without pressure for it to involve a partnership or potential sex/romance.

* Be careful with time-tripping – Chiron Return Dating can mean your lovers from decades ago can seem appealing all of a sudden. But just as you’re not the same person you were then – unless you’ve congealed – nor are they. And if it’s more about them being a touchstone for past memories, no. Nostalgia is aging and if you let it get out of hand, it will calcify your psyche. In the same vein, consider editing down your narrative of “the past” so it’s more a precis or a summary than a ten-volume textbook.

Edit Down Your Narrative Of “The Past”

* Consider Virgo Dating Efficiency – A clinical approach may seem unromantic but it saves time and helps to clarify what you want exactly.  Do you want a full-blown, share-everything partnership or someone to bounce ideas around with and sleep with twice a week? Companion for functions or Tantric soulmate?

* Should you consider the ex-partners of people you’ve known for ages or who move in your circles and they’re suddenly single? Or, at least, there. Yes but with caution. Devils you know can still be treacherous or morph into a totally fresh demon upon divorce. And, if you are logical about it, the long-time acquaintance could well be more valuable than your potential new lover.

* Ignore age or appearance phobia – though it is natural when Muggles use terms like “back on the market.”  Every age has its pleasures and its disadvantages. Trying to control things you literally cannot – time itself – is futile. As would be trying to wow people who would hold the very fact of your age – aka survival – against you.

*  A final Chiron Return reality: You only really engage with people whose thoughts you value and you’re not playing a role. That in itself will helpfully narrow your mating and dating options.

Thoughts?

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ChrysalisVestaWish Upon a StarCentaurusICPluto Recent comment authors
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ChrysalisMM Member
Chrysalis

Perhaps because Saturn is direct or that the season is changing, but I’m feeling more optimistic about the prospect of dating again. Saturn has one more pass to make over my moon and I really hope I’ve got the lessons, finally. The Toro and I finished up in April and I’ve done plenty of soul mining since then. Not sure I would go online again but I am opening myself to seeing opportunity around me. It has to be about shared values, that’s where the chemistry will have to come from next time around. Otherwise pretty happy to stay solo.… Read more »

VestaMM Member
Vesta

This is actually solid dating advice for any age, era or aspect.

FireTryin'MM Member
FireTryin'

I get to do my Chiron Return three times. Natal Chiron at 2 Aries and this nifty Chiron Rx going on. The run-up to the initial return was brutal, an ego shedding, a lot of time alone, a lot of letting go letting go letting go, all kinds of physical issues. Dating during that time was non-existent or a lesson in “no, not that.” I believed sex would never happen again. I believed I was meant to be alone. I was adjusting.

Things have changed and there’s someone along for the ride and I’m enjoying the hell out of it.

MissDeeMM Member
MissDee

Well I feel all of the above but I am also a 5th house cusp in Capricon and I am “enjoying” Saturn transit and Pluto transit so everything vaguely “flimsy” does not stand a chance to raise the faintest interest on my side.

Crystallised futureMM Member
Crystallised future

Chiron return/conjunct 1 exact at 18.33 degrees in my 8th house and as Pluto was crossing my descendant – 29 March 2015 = discovered my husband at the time was viewing porn for hours at a time whilst alone at home with my disabled non-verbal daughter. One of my biggest fears for her safety confronting me with a wallop. Other secrets came out so fast it was the closest I ever came to a breakdown. Chiron is also opposite my Mars by less than 1 degree. Chiron return 2 – 27 September 2015 = I don’t remember but every day… Read more »

Wish Upon a StarMM Member
Wish Upon a Star

Reading your post felt like watching a dramatic movie.

The highlight was acting like you were still 19. LOL !

Crystallised futureMM Member
Crystallised future

😊 it reminded me of what I wanted to be and still could be. It was beautiful and changed my whole focus. Chiron is a bitch and a gift.

emgMM Member
emg

It’s been a tough old ride for sure. I’m amazed how we deal with all this shizzz

flowerchild
flowerchild

A few weeks after my 50th birthday and during my Chiron return (Chiron at 26 Pisces in the 10th), I met my current bf, with a couple starts and stops, and now we live together and in a whole new city. I hadn’t been in a significant relationship in a very long time, like over 15 years. We’re together now 1 year and 8 months. This resonated: “it’s got that Uranian edge of not remotely caring for how people/society perceive your choices. And then it has a spiritual gravity and gentle confrontation of the facts which feels super-Saturnine.” So, my… Read more »

InvictaMM Member
Invicta

Hey that is so cool!
well done you!
xx

flowerchild
flowerchild

Thanks! xx

emgMM Member
emg

Good for you. It sounds with the synastry like it’s a perfect pairing for a very different relationship. Who said it was same age same neighbourhood same colour same creed same old same old?! I think if your auras connect go for it. Sounds wonderful to me.

ChrysalisMM Member
Chrysalis

Ahh this is lovely to hear as I remember you weren’t travelling so well for while, romance-wise xx

IncenseMM Member
Incense

I just turned 50 myself, and applaud you and your relationship, long may it wave.

flowerchild
flowerchild

Thanks, all! I appreciate your votes of confidence!

Wish Upon a StarMM Member
Wish Upon a Star

Enjoy, don’t analyse flower child.

InvictaMM Member
Invicta

Feeling this so much lately.. so much so that the idea of dating has not been remotely attractive this whole year and I don’t feel even a little bit tempted to break my fast yet I just turned 47 so is it too early? Chiron is currently very near my natal Chiron position. The again, so is Virgo, the sun, mercury, mars and Jupiter. I have never enjoyed a moment astrologically as much as I’m enjoying this one. And it’s odd because I’m not enjoying anything par se- I’m more not doing than doing. I seem to be defined more… Read more »

InvictaMM Member
Invicta

oh wow yes
just realised my venus has also progressed into Libra now. It’s been in virgo for the longest time (hence using my natal venus in leo placement for WERK in my former career-that feels like an-other lifetime/s) now just BEing feels quietly powerful. That quietness is a feeling of needing to keep things real.
earth stoic is the new bling #uranusintaurus

Crystallised futureMM Member
Crystallised future

Get through it, get past it and you will go ‘wow, look at me and what I can do”.

MythofnormlMM Member
Mythofnorml

This is all apt for myself and I’m in my Uranus opposition – have had enough of the wildness though. But this new beau is just coming into his own Uranus opp and is very balanced despite it? Or all previous beaus were just total narcs. As always, very decent advice, Mystic. Loving it.

Libra Moon Conjunct PlutoMM Member
Libra Moon Conjunct Pluto

This is an apt description of dating in midlife!! My b.s. tolerance is in the negatives, and guys who monopolize the first meet-up describing how great they are do not get a second time. I’ve seen some things so many times that I don’t even have to think twice about certain decisions. I never imagined being in this space in my 20s!

Saoirse KirkeMM Member
Saoirse Kirke

Not quite there yet but in the run up to return I have Chiron currently on my moon opposite Pluto, with mercury and Venus having just tralala’d over, next comes Venus then the sun. Only just this week I thought if all the “lovers” I’ve had who started out as amazing musical or artistic or intellectual relationships but fizzed into hookups or got left behind when they entered partnerships. That creative tension is not something I was ever taught to navigate, raised by depression-era “until death” Catholics. Not blame, just, learning curve. Unlearning dependence to foster cocreativity. Should be interesting.

CentaurusMM Member
Centaurus

Unlearning seems to take a long time but I sometimes wonder if it’s an optical illusion or a mind trick and maybe the thing that takes a while is the letting go and being willing to ditch and start again. Idk – it’s absolutely personal for everyone and this is just one of my many possible theories for things that spring forth from my mind/mouth 😉 My mutable nature resists absolutes until my Cap planets hold a secret board room meeting with my Asc and they quietly call the shots – sometimes I’ve caught them out busy building a legacy… Read more »

Saoirse KirkeMM Member
Saoirse Kirke

Having Pluto and then Saturn square the lot from the 4th has been a rewind I didn’t know I had to take. I’d been in impulse/untouchable medication land long enough to see things they’d never have had access too but will have to train diligently to access the way to live/use with what I learned. If I decide to. This is the part in the movie where I train somewhere with someone. Rocky and remote. Or I can just still live at dads. Unrelated, or maybe totally related I’m almost at ten years of celibacy. So it would take some… Read more »

CentaurusMM Member
Centaurus

The 4th can be an underestimated house I think. Not in the obvious ways. It’s not til you start digging…. That’s my Pluto Uranus and since moving back to my home state it’s been something I can’t yet succinctly sum up but easy ain’t it. Perfect Segway into ‘do Sags crack?’ and how to answer that. Broadly yep I think so and I’ve seen it beyond the fiery tanty, which we’re all quite good at particularly if you throw a bit of righteousness in! Personally, I’ve skated some edges and fallen off. I can’t absolutely say why the cracks haven’t… Read more »

Saoirse KirkeMM Member
Saoirse Kirke

It feels so close to simple.
A)I and everyone else deserves love
B) I love everyone and everything
C) the way I learned HoW to love us different from others and uncomfortable for me.
Ergo
D) learn new ways to love and be loved
With no expectations

Easy peasy

CentaurusMM Member
Centaurus

🙂 xx

ChinagirlMM Member
Chinagirl

lol the image is the perfect description of what my dating life feels like sometimes…. I feel like the one in red at the coffee table….

InvictaMM Member
Invicta

this is my favorite scene in that movie

InvictaMM Member
Invicta

even better than the cafeteria on the death star :->

emgMM Member
emg

Maybe just maybe because I have Chiron conjunction Saturn on my asc that I have always had the ‘this is me, take it or leave it’ running through my internal monologue even dialogue. It’s only now (53y) that I know who they can take or leave !!

InvictaMM Member
Invicta

Chiron conj Saturn on your ascendant?
Holy crap!
that is hardcore

emgMM Member
emg

Errrrr well yes. It’s been a walk in the park, or it would have been if I’d have read ever antifragile manual by the age of two months old !! You’ll laugh because opposing that is Pluto Uranus bang on conjunction on my dc. Just for added zest

emgMM Member
emg

I mean truly God was having a laugh !

CentaurusMM Member
Centaurus

My money might be on the see-sawing of that axis which is most definitely not the kind of see-saw you’ll find on walk through an every day park.

emgMM Member
emg

It’s a rollercoaster with loops !

CentaurusMM Member
Centaurus

Yep 🙂

InvictaMM Member
Invicta

wow
just shaking my head and laughing with you

LotusFlowerMM Member
LotusFlower

A top post, Mystic. Thank you 💓

Kim
Kim

Love, Love, love this. Having just moved through my Chiron return this speaks so well to how I’m thinking about partnering. Thanks for your sage insights, Mystic!

Sim onenessMM Member
Sim oneness

46, single parenting of a 15 year old and in menopause !
All the hormones and none of them
What a time to be alive! 🙂

Wish Upon a StarMM Member
Wish Upon a Star

Chiron return has a strong element of coming home. Full circle !

Sim onenessMM Member
Sim oneness

Brilliant

Lux Interior Is My Co-PilotMM Member
Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot

Brillo advice!

CentaurusMM Member
Centaurus

I am one of the some who think that Chiron is a bridge between. I like your description. My thinking has been the sort of learning | initiation | stripping back that Chiron brings is necessary to really integrate elements of acceptance. Broad strokes and loose words as I attempt to describe the elusive missing ingredient that arrives without instruction or an obvious use. The ingredient that changes the dial to accessing you’re own Saturn or Uranus in new ways, peaceful ways, accepting ways and that opens up their possibilities. We grow up with those two planets as external experiences… Read more »

Wish Upon a StarMM Member
Wish Upon a Star

Beautiful reply Centaurus.

Necessary to integrate elements of acceptance – so true.

CentaurusMM Member
Centaurus

Thanks mate 🙂

I just realised I left out air in my skip through nostalgia and that’s perhaps how they might visit it, by omission . Or with some forward momentum and plenty of air under their feet and from their mouth a sunny or superficial narrative woven in around the real story so neatly you can barely notice the difference – but if you do oops… they’ve skipped off in a different direction and you’ll have to recalibrate your theory.. quickly now, keep up!. My Gem Jupiter agrees emphatically.

ICPlutoMM Member
ICPluto

I’m on “team bridge”, too. And just think we had 40 years of Chiron/Uranus opposition (with sometimes Saturn thrown in the mix “just for fun”). This multigenerational transit, I believe, was a game changer for relationships, the aspect mimics the axis of 1H/7H after all. For those born after 1991, when Chiron broke free, their Chiron returns will have a very different theme. xx

CentaurusMM Member
Centaurus

Team bridge 🙂
Yes, it’s interesting to think what later returns will be like actually. There will be some similarities with the Saturn fun in 1992 as the opposition sets up with Saturn for the lucky few xx

lindapetersMM Member
lindapeters

Brilliant expose Mystic. Again.

AlouettaMM Member
Alouetta

Such great advice (for any age?). I’m not fifty yet but the last time I set out dating I went to a psychologist and ran all my choices past her. It was enlightening! I can highly recommend that approach too if you find a professional you trust and who has a sense of humour.

Also thanks Mystic for putting into words something I’ve always felt. Nostalgia is aging! That emotion is a waste of time.

emgMM Member
emg

Good lord This advice should be handed out to everyone who is coming 50. I don’t think I can add anything apart from read it and believe it !

HermeswitchMM Member
Hermeswitch

Great advice. Didn’t even know I was doing a Chiron Return. Go 50!

Wish Upon a StarMM Member
Wish Upon a Star

And how’s it going for you?

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