Who Are Your Shadow Selves?

black and white image of Betty Catroux kneeling on bed in minimalist room

I mention Shadow Selves a lot but have never done an actual post about them. What or, more correctly, who are they?

They’re vestiges of your former personae, reflecting stances you no longer hold. They are usually at power levels that you’ve ascended beyond. Shadow Selves are incognito and not officially ‘on the books.’  They’re not malign in intent. In fact, they most often pop up when you’re casting around for a coping mechanism. Eager to volunteer, they’re all like “I know! Buy something shiny.”

Or eat till you feel secure and out of faux danger. Sometimes, they emerge as irritability way out of proportion to the threat at hand.

Shadow Selves Are A Disaster To Go Shopping With

They can represent unresolved scenarios and unexpressed emotions. You fixed something and got away, but if something sets off a ‘this is oppressive’ or ‘not fair’ signal; bam – there, they are. You know when a Shadow Self influence is at large when someone’s voice sounds hollow. It is not even fake or affected; it just lacks resonance. Shadow Selves are a disaster to go shopping with.

Astrologically they’re 12th house residents. So, to address their presence and influence, wait for a 12th House transit. Then do something profound like Sound Healing, Kundalini Yoga, or Journaling with time to focus on what comes up. How do you know if you are having a 12th House transit? Get a Seven Year Ahead Transit Report to scope out the more significant ones. If you want a short-lived but more likely to be imminent one, Power Moons tells you the New and Full Moons in that sector.

They’re Incognito, Subliminal Secret Agents Within Your Psyche

Shadow Selves are big in relationships; we fall in love with one another’s projected ideal, but it’s these subliminal agents often making the choices. And they reliably show up when someone is on drugs.

How do you get rid of them? Shadows dissipate with light. Don’t dim yours for anyone. Turn up the illumination on current, real self.

And what about the emotions that often sustain Shadow Selves? Time turns grief to compassion. The power of logic alchemizes corrosive resentment into self-discipline and determination. Shame requires a Shaman.

Do you have any of these subliminal secret agents doing black ops in your psyche?

Image: Jeanloup Sieff


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Wish Upon a StaremgbatshleyScorpio_RisingScorpio_Rising Recent comment authors
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Wish Upon a StarMM Member
Wish Upon a Star

“Even a positive thing casts a shadow…… its unique excellence is at the same time its tragic flaw.”
– William Irwin Thompson

Taken from the book I have just begun.

The Alphabet Versus the Goddess.


We are so dark in our past lives, you couldn’t even imagine. Thats why we suffer.

FireTryin'MM Member

Oh, I am in a struggle with them on many fronts. Becoming self-aware has meant that I see how cleverly cloaked as “ME” these shadowy selves are. The energy of a wrecked nervous system, an abandoned self, a neglected baby-being-me, etc. claims THIS IS REAL. But it’s not. It’s definitely something that needs attended to and recognized, but it is not the thing that determines reality RIGHT NOW. I am not my thoughts has saved me a hundred times in the past year. My thoughts are often weird patchworks of past pain zipping along paths straight to a mouth that… Read more »

stransitMM Member

And don’t forget the golden shadow – our unacknowledged strengths and capacities that get shoved down because they can’t find their place in the light for whatever reason ( familial, societal etc)

emgMM Member


emgMM Member

Watch out that shadow selves aren’t just real bits of ourself that society/family would prefer we didn’t have. Find your quirks and embrace is my motto, then use them to their highest good. I’ve got a really strong quirk that doesn’t share food or in fact share much. If it’s mine it’s mine. I loath for instance a Spanish tapas bar where you all just dip in, drives me scatty. I prefer to eat prior to going out then not bother ! I think it shows in my own it nature. You need to own your own stuff, baggage and… Read more »

emgMM Member

Oh I’m currently transiting Neptune in 12th nearing my asc

Wish Upon a StarMM Member
Wish Upon a Star

Why do we laugh so loud when children just say what they mean?

Because it is honest and effortless.

Hooray about the house

emgMM Member

Thanks I’m elated and also need grounding at the same time. Being cancer stellium I do need a home but I’m currently determined to make that where ever I am. Currently spain!

emgMM Member

It’s Italy next week and then Monaco before France to finish the season then caribbean. Vit D ✅

Wish Upon a StarMM Member
Wish Upon a Star

Oh emg you do live a charmed life. Spain, Italy, Monaco and France, Carribean WOW ! I understand what you mean about home, I’ve got Venus and Mercury in Cancer. But it is good that your little crab claws get to scratch the sand and cool down in the water, no? I heard Spain gets really hot in the afternoon that’s why they have siesta. Do you do siesta? When you go to Italy please wave at my ancestors in Malta: the tiny country under Sicily. If you want grounding go to Malta. It is a rock island. Apparently Gozo… Read more »

Wish Upon a StarMM Member
Wish Upon a Star

Hey I think I have a Cancer stellium.

I have Venus and Mercury in Cancer.
Also Gemini Sun in 4th house.

Does that make a Stelliium peeps?

notMuggleMM Member

True about shopping with shadow selves. Used to go out and buy skirt/dress suits/clothes when under stress at work, well tailored but not really useful as I promptly left the job and no longer needed it! gave away a couple of suits like that.

baristagemMM Member

“And what about the emotions that often sustain Shadow Selves? Time turns grief to compassion. The power of logic alchemizes corrosive resentment into self-discipline and determination.”

Love this!

PiMM Member

Me too.

MCSMM Member

I’ve been having really crazy dreams for the last couple weeks. Every night it gets more bizarre. I have attributed it to the reiki I’ve been having once a month to get me through a rough situation at work. Letting go of old crap. Right now I do have Mars in Virgo from the 10th house opposing my Chiron in Pisces in the 4th house. Seems like that could definitely stir up some shadow self stuff.

JacquiMM Member

Shadow selves, dream selves, future selves. I took a film photo selfie in the mid 1980’s and remember thinking while I was taking it “Future-self your are amazing and I love you.” I was doing spiritual classes and yoga at the time, pretty nuts for a naïve 19yo me. Who am I next year after Jan 2020 and onwards? (I still love you!)

ICPlutoMM Member

“Gods suppressed become devils, and often it is these devils whom we first encounter when we turn inward.” Joseph Campbell I have 4 planets in my 12H,

suzannemarjorieMM Member

Perfect timing post for me thanks Mystic

FuturesunnydaysMM Member

What does that mean, shame needs a shaman?

Scorpio_RisingMM Member

How do you deal with someone else’s Shadow Self that appears when drunk? I have a “friend” that gets really verbally abusive when drunk but doesn’t recall any of the stuff he says when “blacked out” drunk. So no apologies because after he takes a verbal dump leaving everyone else feeling low he feels relieved. I no longer drink heavily because this kind of behavior deeply disturbs me. My friends tell me to not take it seriously everyone says cruel shit when drunk. But when is it personal? It feels personal when he yells and threatens me calling me horrific… Read more »


I have always thought people’s true feelings come out when they drunk. I guess this would be a perfect example of what shadow selves are.

Scorpio_RisingMM Member

That’s what I fear…if that’s the case this person hates his life, his family and blames everyone for his failures. It’s really hard to forget the words. I’ve tried and he becomes a sadist when drunk. He’s gone so far to tell me I’m pointless being alive and should do the world a favor and kill myself. When I was younger I’d get into a drunk fight with my friends and say some dumb things that would hurt them and didn’t what to continue hurting people I loved so I only drink a beer or so now. Alcohol poisoning drinking… Read more »


yeah, if possible that person just needs to be avoided when they drink.

Wish Upon a StarMM Member
Wish Upon a Star

I think they need to be avoided full stop.

emgMM Member

Or asked about their truth ?


I tried. I asked what are your plans? and he erupted in a litany of reasons why I am one of the reasons for his lack of success which makes no sense. I gave him an opportunity for a touring gig and he tore into me saying I have no talent and should die.
It’s really difficult to get him to be open and honest about anything, unfortunately.
He blames his family for not being able to tour. He blames everyone except himself.


I do want to know the Truth. He claims the Truth is he thinks I’m a loser, lack talent and in his way of fame.
I just don’t speak to my friends like that he obviously has no issue verbally abusing others to get what he wants FAME.

batshleyMM Member

The truth is he is an absolute assh*le who will spew vile things at anyone willing to stand there and take it. He is not your friend. Best wishes removing yourself from his area of acidity.

emgMM Member

The truth is he’s got vast amounts of work to do in order that he can find the person in there who has yet to arrive. Those who blame or shame others are not yet strong enough to see or accept themselves. Personally I would walk away telling him you wish him well and then end that chapter. It’s not up to you to rescue him. Walk away and find your own truths too.

LaurelMM Member

Agree. “In Vino Veritas” is not just a saying…


I am trying to remember that what he says speaks more about his anger issues than about me, but damn…it’s ugly.
I wish he’d seek therapy.
I am limiting contact with him esp when drinking from now on.

emgMM Member

He needs very deep strong Saturnian therapy. Own it type therapy. Acceptance and release. He’s a long way to go.

ShaktiMM Member

Your friend that is black out drunk when drinking ….needs a meeting …ie to get sober …don’t enable his behaviour by making it ok when he is sober and forgets the vile behaviour …it’s not ok ….speaking here as someone that is a long time sober …tough love with this guy ..walk away from the friendship as everyone does not say cruel shit when drunk …only folks that have repressed unexamined shit in their own lives they numb by using booze ……and project this onto others …AA and rehab for him so he can see himself more clearly …..

AlouettaMM Member

I would audio record him when he’s like this and play it back to him when he’s sober. He needs a wake up call.

pearlMM Member

Best way to deal with this is say goodbye. There are better people out there who are/will be friends who respect you ….of course no one is perfect but make the decision- your beautiful self deserves better. Refuse to give these people your precious self xxx

Scorpio_RisingMM Member

thanks. the words stick with me even though I know I shouldn’t let it bother me.

PiMM Member

Your friend is wrong, not everyone says cruel shit when drunk. In fact hardly anyone does. This person has some major issues and I would avoid exposing myself to this extremely shitty and destructive behaviour

Scorpio_RisingMM Member

I did learn something from watching his behavior, never do random shots, drink from a bottle on an empty stomach and then proceed to verbally abuse everyone in the room. So I’ve cut way back on my own drinking because I do not want to ever hurt my friends or loved ones again.

WizarDoraMM Member

Always think shadow is about whether we use our powers for good or not. How we are (inward) and what we reflect (outward) Saturn is in my twelfth. I always wondered why family trigger my shadow responses so much. I have sought detachment at all costs but the stranger aspects of my chart really amp the push_me_pull_you influences of the neptunian my chart includes. I simply do not sit well with convention and boy do they want me to be conventional.. at all costs. Anyone tell me how saturn may help/hinder the 12th house? I oughta learn not to tell… Read more »

babysinclairMM Member

Yes, yes I do. Lol. And I was literally thinking about this yesterday. I assumed shadows were 8th house (I think because Samhain/Scorpio season is associated with shadow work?) but with so much energy shifting into Virgo, which Rules my 12th, that timing makes a lot of sense. I feel like I can do something abt it now…thanks for the explanation and ideas as to how to go about it!

Wish Upon a StarMM Member
Wish Upon a Star

So the last full moon in Aquarius was in my 12th house. It also corresponded when I spontaneously came off antidepressants. Started a detox with herbs, massage and sauna.

Beautiful things make me cry easily. Shadow selves, yes they have come out but I realise the futility of them, then I cry more, then I feel better.

Songs play in my head like sweet medicine. I keep hearing Fleetwood Mac. Been down one time. Waking life is a dream.
Babies pop up all around me in shopping centres like Bodhisattvas.

I will do a Tarot card reading now.

PegasusMM Member

Make your shadow self an asset not an opponent have always thought. ANYWAYS so delighted with Astral DNA report as gave the number 3 instead of 8 as b-day, for Mystic’s Birth Chart download. YES stronger glasses needed. This DNA report shows some sweet trines and challenging squares that were never understood and strong conjunctions. The interp was so accurate and amusing to boot, If only it was available decades ago in this style and format. This information is crucial for peoples to understand themselves and give to close friends you trust with the intimacy of it. In the 80’s… Read more »

BesthanaMM Member

The special shadier self- the shadow self. Bad times are confused, and usually odd or off feeling.. I’m 12th house moon with Jupiter there too. The vibe can be super warm and appealing- can be spooky and off. I could go on but this placement natally is unique and I still don’t know how to manage it. It’s very open, and closed, labrythin like, and sometimes I am sure I can see fields of gold or maybe it’s just the biggest snakepit. So strategy up. Be loving but aware – this will break your heart and fill it – and… Read more »

scorpiodawnMM Member

me too with the moon and jupes in 12th…sorry i have no tips…!

@Ambika555MM Member

Well, it’s gonna be an interesting time. Something like 2015 with a plot twist that will make “Miracle on 34th St.”, Look like a B rated flop. Why? because I am walking my talk more than ever. I have Virgo in the 12th with beauties like Black Moon Lilith, north node and of course Saturn. It wouldn’t be a party without him right. Ha, ha, ha.. Let’s do this with guns blazing guys💪🏼

Lux Interior Is My Co-PilotMM Member
Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot

My gawd this resonated. Probs cos Saturn Pluto growth trip 🙂

PiMM Member

any personal experience where i can apply the word “rage”, “contempt”, “can’t”, or i am becoming overly wierd and finger-point-y with “but they said X” … that’s a time to take a look in the mirror, what am i really afraid of here. s p a c e from the thing. i have a particularly strange relationship with contempt – my moon in cap goes kind of psycho at a particular type of dependendence and vulnerability. It’s part of my rabidly independent emotional makeup and i am learning to take a step back when i feel this coming on, and… Read more »

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