Saturn, Pluto & Toxic Co-Parenting Problems

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Saturn, Pluto and a messy, manipulative breakup with kids involved sounds like a formula that would explode in the laboratory. But no! As you will see from my response to this question, there are advantages to tackling this sort of challenge during the Saturn Pluto Conjunction.

Dear Mystic,
I am a Scorpio with Aquarius rising; I have Saturn and Mars in my seventh house. One year ago, I left the father (Capricorn with Aries rising) of my three kids after suddenly becoming woke to the multiple toxic patterns in our relationship. Recently my ex has been making life nothing less than foul for myself and our kids.
Amidst custody battles and property mess, the emotional manipulation is running rife.
I fear the impact of the Capricorn convergence 2020 and am worried about many things escalating! How best do I stay grounded for myself and my kids within this wild energy?
Is it because Mars and Saturn are in my seventh house that the hot and heavy romance vibes of August seemed only possible once I closed my eyes? Thank god for dreams!
Thank you so much,
Worried Scorpio

The Saturn Pluto Conjunction Favors The Sort Of Mindset You Need To Stabilize The Situation

Dear Worried Scorpio,

Congratulations on identifying and then extricating yourself from the relationship. Break-ups with hostility and children involved are hell, as I am sure many readers of this would attest. But if you maintain your integrity, as hard as it is, this phase will pass, and your children will one day recognize you for it. The good astrological news is that the Saturn Pluto conjunction favors the sort of mindset that you need to stabilize the situation.

It rewards composure, planning, realism, and diligence. Regardless of what you think of your ex-partner, your children will want (and deserve) a relationship with him. This is assuming he is a competent parent and not dangerous to them. And that you will need to have him in your life for a significant amount of time, but with increasing distance as your children mature. The next five months of Saturn and Pluto are optimal for mediation and ideally coming to a parenting agreement without rancor.

Ideally, move to get an agreement or decent mediation with the excellent astrology of September. You don’t want a fight. You want stability and peace. Deploy Mars in Virgo vim to devise an arrangement that would work for the children and try to resist toxic bait from this person. That means accepting that you won’t ever win particular arguments from that relationship or get validation from him. Brilliantly, though it may not seem like it now, you really won’t care about it at all.

Consider D.I.Y. Orgasms Until After The “Custody Battle.”

As for “hot and heavy romance vibes,” I am not a fan of dating during custody battles. See the Capricorn Convergence as a climb toward the safe higher ground of January 2020, when the conjunction is exact. Listen to my Mp3 on this, if you have not already, as it goes into more detail. Consider D.I.Y. orgasms until you’ve resolved the situation. This goes triple if there is any risk of complications from a tryst. Casual sex can create casual enemies, and you’re trying to detoxify your psyche at the moment.

Vaguely crushing on someone as a diversion, leisure and sleep aid? Genius. But as an Aquarius Rising, you’ve got Saturn and Pluto in the 12th House. As grubby or material as the process may seem, it’s an evolutionary soul trip. People often think that “spiritual” involves you meditating or setting up a shrine. But profound spiritual growth often occurs when you must dig deep to navigate turbulence that seems decidedly mundane.

It helps that you’re a Mars-Saturn person but actually, that means you’re not one for speedy hook-ups. You’re built for quality alliances and are a formidable opponent.

Saturn Pluto Means The Practical IS The Spiritual

Focus on the kids, friends (you find out who your real friends are during divorce, guaranteed) and family who are supportive, not part of the problem. It is difficult to manage when you’re paying legal fees and under pressure but try to get some therapy for yourself. It would also be useful to see an accountant you trust to get on top of your personal finance. You’re emerging from a long relationship, healing your psyche and establishing a stable platform for your future.

And, the Saturn Pluto conjunction helps reconstruction jobs like this. Not only that, as an Aquarius Rising person, you’re ruled by Uranus. Uranus is in Taurus, backing the theme of foundation, financial clarity, and self-esteem. With this going on, the practical is the spiritual. Creating a secure and tranquil home for you and the kids under such circumstances is not easy. But it will call forth resources you did not even know you had. What does everyone else think?


Image: Zbigniew Makowski

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all aquarius rising folks will be experiencing taurus transiting their 4th house of home and family over the next several years; i’m so sorry this has happened to you but it’s better to happen at the beginning of this transit so you can spend the next chunk of time rebuilding the home and family life that will best serve you going forward

Sweet Sanity

Trying to “co parent with a narcissist ex? This helped me, worth a look for clarity and sanity…


Getting to neutral is hard work. Toxic peeps trigger others and then use the reactive behavior in court. When you interact directly with ex- speak mindfully and sparingly. Document everything. I humbly offer these tips from behind the bench- as a long time court employee- To avoid- In the contentious cases, exasperated judges have resorted to “parenting coordinators.” A total stranger, empowered by the court- can decide when/if ex drives Susie to soccer. That’s on top of mini-judges- Friend of the Court referees. Deploy Taurean Implacable as your anti fragile. Your kids will note who speaks ill of the… Read more »


Straight from the horses mouth. How I know this bent system. All my barrister would say on loosing the last case against him was just make your own practise work and forget about the system!!! I’m still hating it


All of this is most sage advice but I’m going to say one thing about the kids needing their father in their life. I had to run with this during my divorce and bitter battles created by my Capricorn solicitor of an ex. One of the most devious narcissistic cruel men I have ever encountered. He played every manipulative card going and in my heart I knew my daughter should be removed from him and his toxic nature but I toed the line and walked the official path. She didn’t want to see him and made that blatantly clear. It… Read more »


Dear Scorpio, You are the most resilient of the zodiac! Have faith and tune-in to your Self to behold the process. I have just completed a similar custody situation that took nearly seven years to resolve… Aries/Virgo rising. It was harrowing and agonizing on one hand, but on the other, it held many dear experiences with my children that I wouldn’t have made time for in my previous existence. Engage with them fully, become childlike yourself. And, in your quiet time, reflect upon your relationship patterns and self-beliefs. Be brave, seek your truth, and connect everyday with your kids. In… Read more »

Sweet Sanity

So good to hear all of this, I’m Aqua rising and also navigating “parallel parenting” with a narcissistic, controlling ex. He’s re partnered and has a new baby but it hasn’t redirected or diminished any of his venom or bitterness, unfortunately. I heard today, in a YouTube video about this exact topic, about something called Our Family Wizard as a platform for communication so that you can have the least amount of contact as possible. As far as sex goes during all of this, I seems like an easy fix or distraction but I think Mystic is correct in that… Read more »


Totally agree with Mystic. Just adding do not join a cult – not being flippant, but in my experience . . . Identify, claim and stand in your own sacred strengths and plant them with love in your new circumstances, as you can – and get the support you so richly deserve – yes mega to therapeutic and practical supports in every ways great and small.

Wish Upon a Star

Good advice Mystic. I like how you have pointed out Scorpios good traits to help steer her in the right direction I.e. you are built for quality relationships. When you are in the thick if it it is good to hear these things, it gives strength. Dear Worried Scorpio you have so much going on. I can hear the groundedness in your words. I can feel the compassion and sweetness pouring out of you. You sound like a stellar mother as you are looking out for the interests of your children instead of reacting to this man I wish I… Read more »

Wish Upon a Star

OMG ! I just did an Oracle reading and it gave good advice for this Pluto/Saturn 11th in da house bitch! LOL ! Sustaining Yourself in a more consistent manner without need of validation from people whom you have to radically adjust frequency with to even be in dialogue with. Hey I get it: no chance of me draining my energy on fuqing ferals and ingrates in this conservative small town. A few days the lovely oracle said: Don’t you find it flattering that certain people don’t like you? Yes I do totally. And I get it. It shows how… Read more »

Wish Upon a Star

I hope Jokerman is OK?

I feel like I am channeling him.


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