As Mercury Retrograde IS an excellent time to revise previous decisions, it is technically a good time for relationship repair. But is it really? My answer to this query illuminates the issue.
Your valuable advice is a tremendous public service, and I already feel forever indebted (as I’m sure a lot of the other members do).
Mercury Retro has its moments for everyone – hidden info coming out and people showing their true colors. I have been enjoying some of the weighty conversations and revelations. But for the past week, I have been sinking in a mire of mind-boggling paranoia-inducing ambiguity. Is it because it is the last days of Mercury Retrograde or the Sun Uranus square?
Relationship Repair Or Plastering Over The Cracks?
There has been a (mutual, as far as I can tell) feeling that my romantic partner and I are lightning rods of mixed signaling for each other. I have been alternating between two settings: wildest suspicions/being offended/getting enraged for some of his behaviors or utterings, and feeling remorse, deep love, and trust. We are both having Saturn Return, and Uranus transits through our 7th houses.
Likewise, miscommunications with the family kept happening, and I have failed to express my true motives well, more than once in several days.
I’m circling closer to the end of my tether but am reluctant to brew a storm out of nothing. So I was wondering if Mercury Retro is a good time to talk about communication (between my partner and me or between him/me and other people) and troubleshoot paranoias/ambiguities? Would it be better to wait until the waters of Mercury Retro and Uranus square smooth out a bit?
Defer To Saturn-Pluto On This
Dear High-Strung Librarius,
It’s an excellent question. As you observe, Mercury Retrograde reveals feelings and attitudes that are usually unacknowledged. Even if we know they are there, we’re inclined to glide past them with barely a glance, like enemy spies in the corridors of power. But distinguish between identifying your usually suppressed feelings and fixing misunderstandings. Are you contemplating relationship repair? Or plastering over the cracks? If your fix feels more like appeasement or a cosmetic job, defer to the broader Zeitgeist: Saturn conjunct Pluto, at work till 2020. The very same astral force uncovering corruption, rot, and stagnation within the politico-economic complex is at work in relationships.
The Sun square Uranus influence at the end of this Mercury Retrograde adds an extra surreal layer to the misunderstandings. It is trickster energy. I don’t think it is a good time to charge in and try to fix these communication glitches. It’s your cue to withdraw energy and find clarity within. First, settle your turbulent psyche. Know your limits. Take your ‘wildest suspicions’ to a rational, cognitive-behavioral type therapist so that you have an objective take on the relationship dynamic. Are they wild? Or could you be second-guessing your instincts because of in-place sentiment and comfort zoning? Are you devising a relationship repair strategy or an exit strategy?
Stay Still And Assess The Terrain
It is the same deal with the family. Of course, you can work on expressing yourself better, but you can’t control them or their reactions. Take what it is within your control and shoot for maximal ownership of that. This energy feels murky. Mercury is about to be direct, but it is not out of the shadowzone until mid-August. See from now until then as a time to remain still, gather information, and assess the terrain. Initiating talk-fests and hashing things out is pointless if you’re not confident of yourself. And, if you are dealing with a gaslighter or ambiguity, it is a disaster.
And, as you are both presumably Scorpio Risings, you’re Pluto ruled. The next six months of Saturn Return and this intense astro-vibe are fix-it-or-fuq-it. You’re going to reinforce your relationship and become this robust unit ready to move into your Thirties. Or you are going to begin the process of reclaiming yourself and extricating. But it’s no time to be entangled in an energy vampire of a relationship.
So the concise answer to your original question is no. Before you try to repair the relationship – with your partner or family – fortify yourself.