Relationship Repair In The Last Days Of Mercury Retrograde?

Brigitte Bardot in dark hair wig and red towel, smoking on toilet

As Mercury Retrograde IS an excellent time to revise previous decisions, it is technically a good time for relationship repair. But is it really? My answer to this query illuminates the issue.

Dear Mystic,

Your valuable advice is a tremendous public service, and I already feel forever indebted (as I’m sure a lot of the other members do).

Mercury Retro has its moments for everyone – hidden info coming out and people showing their true colors. I have been enjoying some of the weighty conversations and revelations. But for the past week, I have been sinking in a mire of mind-boggling paranoia-inducing ambiguity. Is it because it is the last days of Mercury Retrograde or the Sun Uranus square?

Relationship Repair Or Plastering Over The Cracks?

There has been a (mutual, as far as I can tell) feeling that my romantic partner and I are lightning rods of mixed signaling for each other.  I have been alternating between two settings: wildest suspicions/being offended/getting enraged for some of his behaviors or utterings, and feeling remorse, deep love, and trust. We are both having Saturn Return, and Uranus transits through our 7th houses. 

Likewise, miscommunications with the family kept happening, and I have failed to express my true motives well, more than once in several days.

I’m circling closer to the end of my tether but am reluctant to brew a storm out of nothing. So I was wondering if Mercury Retro is a good time to talk about communication (between my partner and me or between him/me and other people) and troubleshoot paranoias/ambiguities? Would it be better to wait until the waters of Mercury Retro and Uranus square smooth out a bit?

Sincerely yours,
high-strung Librarius

Defer To Saturn-Pluto On This

Dear High-Strung Librarius,

It’s an excellent question. As you observe, Mercury Retrograde reveals feelings and attitudes that are usually unacknowledged. Even if we know they are there, we’re inclined to glide past them with barely a glance, like enemy spies in the corridors of power. But distinguish between identifying your usually suppressed feelings and fixing misunderstandings. Are you contemplating relationship repair? Or plastering over the cracks? If your fix feels more like appeasement or a cosmetic job, defer to the broader Zeitgeist: Saturn conjunct Pluto, at work till 2020.  The very same astral force uncovering corruption, rot, and stagnation within the politico-economic complex is at work in relationships.

The Sun square Uranus influence at the end of this Mercury Retrograde adds an extra surreal layer to the misunderstandings. It is trickster energy. I don’t think it is a good time to charge in and try to fix these communication glitches. It’s your cue to withdraw energy and find clarity within. First, settle your turbulent psyche. Know your limits. Take your ‘wildest suspicions’ to a rational, cognitive-behavioral type therapist so that you have an objective take on the relationship dynamic. Are they wild? Or could you be second-guessing your instincts because of in-place sentiment and comfort zoning?  Are you devising a relationship repair strategy or an exit strategy?

Stay Still And Assess The Terrain

It is the same deal with the family. Of course, you can work on expressing yourself better, but you can’t control them or their reactions. Take what it is within your control and shoot for maximal ownership of that. This energy feels murky. Mercury is about to be direct, but it is not out of the shadowzone until mid-August. See from now until then as a time to remain still, gather information, and assess the terrain. Initiating talk-fests and hashing things out is pointless if you’re not confident of yourself. And, if you are dealing with a gaslighter or ambiguity, it is a disaster.

And, as you are both presumably Scorpio Risings, you’re Pluto ruled. The next six months of Saturn Return and this intense astro-vibe are fix-it-or-fuq-it. You’re going to reinforce your relationship and become this robust unit ready to move into your Thirties. Or you are going to begin the process of reclaiming yourself and extricating. But it’s no time to be entangled in an energy vampire of a relationship.

So the concise answer to your original question is no. Before you try to repair the relationship – with your partner or family – fortify yourself.

Thoughts?

Image: Contempt – Jean-Luc Godard – Brigitte Bardot

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babysinclairPiMysticWish Upon a StarSecret Sagg Recent comment authors
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babysinclairMM Member
babysinclair

Wow this is my life right now – my husband and I are both Scorpio suns, and I am a Libra rising – all of these themes are at play. I’ve had it up to here with people’s issues – my parents, his parents, and my husband. The stuff with my parents and his parents have been obvious for years and the message from Mercury retro/eclipse season is that I actually need to have stronger boundaries with my husband as well. I have been taking on way too much responsibility for his feelings, saying yes to toxic shit to avoid… Read more »

Wish Upon a StarMM Member
Wish Upon a Star

Just remember you are loved and are strong.
x.

babysinclairMM Member
babysinclair

Thank you <3

babysinclairMM Member
babysinclair

I just wanted to come back here and say that I’m already so glad that – even tho I expressed my worries here – I am already so glad I heeded MM’s advice and waited to hash things out with my husband. Well, I did tell him I’m concerned about his health…but not any of the other stuff. He’s told me he’s been depressed. Already seeing some positive signs from him, including movement on his part on the couple’s therapy front, and he told me he’ll quit vaping. He definitely held it together and supported me while the zap zone… Read more »

Lux Interior Is My Co-PilotMM Member
Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot

Yah, wait till it is direct. Mixed messaging could have been Merc Rx fuquery.

kriblackMM Member
kriblack

Oh how I wish I’d known about you during my Saturn Return and the disaster of a relationship I began at the time, Mystic. This clear-headed advice would have served me well.

Secret Sagg
Secret Sagg

I can sooo relate. Mystic vision would’ve been an absolute gift during my Saturn return. That said, the timing of me finding Mystic was about 6 months (or so) before Zap Zone/Grand Cardinal Cross of April 2014, which was conjunct all my natal chart angles. With Pluto on my IC, and Uranus transit opp natal Uranus. Had I not had that 6 month preparation, I quite possibly would’ve ended up in a mental health facility – the changes in my life came thick, fast, and profound…..and even being forewarned, there were times I barely coped with how unrecognisable my life… Read more »

socialgraffitiMM Member
socialgraffiti

Only person I’m responsible for fixing is myself

MissDeeMM Member
MissDee

This is how I am interpreting the relationships that have happened to me since Mercury went retro (and that includes the shadow zone).
I am seeing sides of myself, experiencing aspects of myself I had completely forgotten about to the point of feeling incapable of some things.
But I also know that how it will all play out it’s gonna be clear from mid-August on.
I must say though: I cannot wait for tomorrow morning Mercury Direct + New Moon.

HermeswitchMM Member
Hermeswitch

Spot on. As usual

ChrysalisMM Member
Chrysalis

Absolutely bang-on advice as usual, Mystic. These times (well, any times really) call for knowing oneself first. If you step back, take some space and focus on yourself, chances are the dynamic will change anyway and it may even give you a much clearer insight into the other person and what is really going on. Obviously I don’t know you or your relationship but sometimes couples (and families) get stuck in the same fight in the same way and nobody knows any other way to relate because they’ve been doing it for years. I speak from the perspective of the… Read more »

PiMM Member
Pi

thank you
oh my god

even the iching is telling me, nope. stop. the only permissible movement is a mild shudder. That if I need to scream go do it underwater. Anything else will end badly. To take up Combat Knitting if I have to. To flick-pass any strange “what if i just…” ideas that arrive, immediately to the next player.
:\ UGH

LibrariusMM Member
Librarius

Combat Knitting cracked me up so much

baristagemMM Member
baristagem

Same! lolol

skarabMM Member
skarab

Combat Knitting <3 !
This is the first time i've heard of Combat Knitting, but Combat Knitting Needles is actually a thing with women in Delhi.

PiMM Member
Pi

I made it up haha..
As a way to describe the temporary containment of a ferocious and possibly out of proportion response, via an activity that mandates sitting very still in one spot and looking busy with a harmless activity ..

I’ll have to look up combat knitting needles.

skarabMM Member
skarab

Haha – yes i’ve been calling that activity seethe-knitting, but i like your term better, it sounds more pro-active.
You won’t find Combat Knitting Needles coz i made that term up too, but some women carry knitting needles to poke the sleaze-bags that grope them when in crowded places and transport (Eve-teasing). I was given a lesson in how to walk & stand with them tucked under my arms and how to jab whenever a guy stands too close. Quite effective.

PiMM Member
Pi

Oh I like that defence. Combat knitting needles makes sense now 🙂

Yes I’d definitely go with Combat over seething! X

emgMM Member
emg

I dislike the word fix and much prefer understand. To understand ourself at a core level, all the things that may seem socially a bit off about us and our real path to tread. My Saturn return I had my daughter and my husband left. Wow. I tended and still do morph into another person, I now prefer mirror due to my very open aura, with him gone I didn’t have a clue who I was. It took twenty years to find out but now I’m very very strong. I feel people as soon as I meet them but I’m… Read more »

Electro
Electro

Agreed, get away for enough time to slough off the extra energies. Be in the space of not thinking about IT and get to base zero. Whether that’s a get away for a week or a solo kayak trip for a few hours. I’m a Scorpio rising with a natal sun Uranus square and I planned 4 days at the end of our family vacation to be literally 3,000 miles away from my husband. I wanted the space and this shizz works, I’m currently on my last 24 hours of this energetic cleanse and I feel like a new person.… Read more »

baristagemMM Member
baristagem

As I’m reading this post my Leo mancat is vocally making his way over to my Virgo ladycat sunbaking under the lomandra, this isn’t going to end well…

It didn’t.
#relationshipastrology

Wish Upon a StarMM Member
Wish Upon a Star

She’s just not that into him. LOL.

baristagemMM Member
baristagem

lol! She can’t stand him

Wish Upon a StarMM Member
Wish Upon a Star

Poor Leo. What is he to think. All this on a pending Leo New Moon. All that magnificence about to bloom.

He is going to get a complex. LOL.

Can you imagine all those air sign cats, just wishing they could meet him.

Have you ever thought creating a dating agency for cats?

You could call it Purr-fect match.

baristagemMM Member
baristagem

That sounds puurfect! My Leo mancat would totally sign up for that!
He doesn’t have a complex at all, he’s more like Pepè Le Pew: “Most men would be discouraged by now. Fortunately for her, I am not most men!”

I do keep a close eye on him though, I don’t like him harassing her.

Wish Upon a StarMM Member
Wish Upon a Star

Pepe Le Pew, hilarious. Hasn’t he heard of the me too movement?

No seriously it’s a good thing that you keep an eye on him.

baristagemMM Member
baristagem

I know! I can’t imagine how many lawsuits he would have against him… omg

Wish Upon a StarMM Member
Wish Upon a Star

ha ha.

PiMM Member
Pi

Narrator: It did not end well.

Sonia
Sonia

Oh My God! This is so apt! I have going through the exact same thing in my relationship… and I came to the same conclusion, that it wasn’t worth to continue in it unless we fixed things with ourselves before reassessing our relationship. We gave it a six month period to fix things… but then this week we got impatient (specially me) and it was a bit of a disaster 🙁 there is a tendency to sing between fixing things and just run far, far away… Sigh. It’s been tough

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