How Your Ex Will Win You Back

Vintage era Hollywood couple

Can you tell from the zodiac sign how your ex will try to win you back? Don’t roll your eyes. People ask this and here, in speed-zaps, are the answers. Why are we even asking this question? Some of you may recall that there is a section on the back end of this site that shows the search queries that bring people here. Every now and then, I check it out.

That is what bought us How Virgo Women Show That They Like You. And, the now deleted masterpiece of “Cancer women, big boobs, horoschopes” from someone who’d clearly imbibed too much Blue Devil Hoochie Juice. I had to delete that post as it attracted porn-bots and lower-vibe backlinks.

Anyway, some sweet soul is searching for “how your ex will try to win you back based on their zodiac sign” and there is nothing on here that will help them. Until now! I gave myself one minute tops to brainstorm some concepts and here they are.

How Your Ex Will Try To Win You Back Based On Their Zodiac Sign

Aries – Showing off.

Taurus – Food/Sex/Comfort Zone.

Gemini – Wit, Memes, In-Jokes.

Cancer – Flamboyant versions of “how are you feeling?” and nurture.

Leo – Dazzling displays of plumage, fluff, and strut usually seen only on the Nature Channel.

Virgo – Virgo Vision deployed to mount a compelling case for reunion, data and calculations available on request.

Libra – A scent trail and subtle, almost intriguing manipulation of the information you’re picking up about them.

Scorpio – Will Power.

Sagittarius – A Trip!

Capricorn – Evocation of shared history and legacy.

Aquarius – What Ex? They trust the algorithm.

Pisces – Witchcraft.


Image: Children Of Divorce – Gary Cooper and Clara Bow 


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Readers probably thought the Aquaruis/algorithm was a joke. It made absolute sense to me. Exes exist in another parallel reality. and I wish them well. But it’s alarming when they come back. I feel like I have to send them back into the TV like in Poltergeist. And “How did you get out?!”


Pretty sure if you broke it off with a Cancer or Scorp your f’ed.. they won’t be trying to win you back no matter what.


Yep. Yep and yep.


Oh my God, that’s what I did / am doing. Analysis, personality profiling, and behavioural calculations based on historical data means we could totally, absolutely fix this with some tweaking and perfecting! Unfortunately not if one sided & counter efforts are based on wit and memes alone. 🙁 damn you Gemini

Unicorn Sparkles

This just makes me aware of how my past behaviour in relationships was really messed up.


I think we need to line this list up against their Mars. Then it works for me.


Haha, I’ve seen some of this in play & *cough* I may also have hovered over witchcraft material without employing any of it.

Siofra Lamb

Brilliant! Thought I’d be the scorpi description as I’ve got Rising + Pluto + Mars … seems my Venus in Libra outweighs! Interesting


Ok…as a Libra I do have to fess up… I have sprayed my signature scent on the linens/stationery/clothes of soon-to-be-ex-lovers. For emotional manipulation. Fine. I admit it.


It ended for a reason. Bye


= piscean sun hurt feels + cardinal earth moon square cardinal fire venus.


Cancerian woman

Can’t be won back, if I have left/walked it’s because I have already tried everything within my abilities to make it work.


A quick inventory: the Toro tried the Gemini method, the Neptunian Cap wielded Piscean killer poetic /music moves… until it got too hard of course, then his Gem rising simply flitted away on the breeze crooning “I will always love you” while not actually being there to, you know, love me. Cap ex-hub wrote me a five-point plan of the things he liked about me and presented it on the day we signed our divorce papers, asking “Is it too late to try counselling?” Umm YES, Father Time. Tbh, there isn’t a lot of ‘winning back’ tried with me. Perhaps… Read more »


LOL the Capricorn version of regret. The only answer can be, “I am a human being not a business case”


Hahaha, Gemini – yes, words, memes and in jokes are sweet but so is – actually being there. ffs.


Is this really Gary Cooper????! Amazing.


Looks like that guy from Twilight..


“Cancer women, big boobs, horoschopes”


I am a Cancerian woman. How to win me back? Don’t hassle me, complete financial control, tiny house, big kitchen. No the dogs cannot sleep on the bed. The cat can. Let me watch my cooking shows, SBS, Landline …. hell look just give me your money and eff off ok?

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